Strike (30 page)

“Oh, darling. I’m sorry. I was angry … I didn’t think. I was hurt that you’d kept this from me. Why did you?”

“Because you would’ve never approved. I finally had something real, and you were the one person who could change that. I met him before I knew who he was to you.” I poke my finger through the hole in the knee of my jeans, and play with the loose threads. “Spencer wanted to tell you about us, but I was the one who held out on you. I’m sorry. Guess I should have told you, and then Spencer and I would have been over before he had a chance to break my heart.”

He sighs. “Damn, Peaches,” he mutters.

“You don’t know Spencer; you only know Jones. I know there are parts of him that aren’t that pretty, but I promise you, he’s all Spencer underneath. I just don’t understand this whole mess. I may not have known him all that long, but I know what we have is different. Well, what we
had.
”

Daddy just sits there, chewing on the inside of his cheek, and scratching at the top of his head.

“To think I was in love him … If I’m honest, I still am. I’m just a stupid fool thinking that I would be enough for someone. Aren’t I enough? Am I just too … different? Too out there? Do I need to dumb it down to find someone who’s not going to tread all over my fucking heart?” Each word causes a sharp pain deep in my chest. It’s like I’m back in that hotel room all over again, struggling for breath.

Dad stares at his hands linked together in his lap. “No, Peaches. You’re perfect. In every way. Don’t ever change. For anyone.”

I blink my eyes quickly to try and ward off the tears. Daddy is the only person in the world who believes that about me. Except maybe Soph. But she’s biased.

“What’s with the packing boxes?” he says, nodding in the direction of my work-in-progress by the bookcase. I was making room for Soph.

“I rang Ramon … in Spain. He said there’s plenty of work. I’m going back.”

I’d bought a one-way ticket, leaving in a few days. Soph was already set to move in. After delaying the inevitable, I’d texted Spencer this morning and told him I was leaving and then turned my phone off. I wanted him to know where I was. Why I don’t know.

I don’t think I’ll ever get closure. I’ve lost a part of me to Spencer, and it’s left a gaping hole in my heart. It might heal over time, but the scars won’t be pretty. I’ll forever carry them with me.

Daddy furrows his brow and his mouth forms a hard line. “What about the job with
Transmoto
? You’re set to start in a couple of weeks.”

And it was hanging over me like a dark cloud. I still have to ring Pete and tell him I’m not going to be able to cover the supercross. That’s gonna be a tough call to make, especially after they’d been so eager for me to come on board. I think being Mac’s daughter played a part of it, but I know I wouldn’t have been given such an amazing offer if my work wasn’t top notch.

“I’ll have to ring him and tell him I’m out. I … I can’t be around motocross knowing he’ll be there.”

Daddy hunches over on the couch, as if he’d just been stabbed in the heart.
I’m getting to know that feeling real well
. “You’ve gotta stop running, Peaches,” he says under his breath. He pulls me into a hug, and I snuggle into him. The one man in my life who’s always been there for me. No matter what.

“You’re probably right, but I don’t know how else to deal. Tell me what to do, because I’m tired of this game. You
know
me. I just want someone. Someone who understands me … appreciates me, because I’m sick of being alone. I want a future with someone who lights me up and makes me feel wanted.

“Spencer did that. I want him, even despite what he did, but I’m just not enough.” Admitting that, cuts at my very soul.”

“Peaches …”

“Yeah?” I look up at his tortured face. He always worries. I should have realised that this whole mess had hurt him too.

“There’s something you need to know.”

CHAPTER NINETEEN

* APRIL *

“He’s got a past, Peaches. We’ve all done things we’re not proud of, but Jones swears he didn’t cheat. He hasn’t had eyes for anyone else since he met you. He told me that stuff I overheard, when he was talking to Billy, was to keep me and everyone else off-track so we wouldn’t find out about you two until you were ready.

“Stone called him on it a while back, and he didn’t deny his feelings for you. He’s ready to shout it to the bloody world that he loves you. And …” Daddy lets out a loud sigh. “… I believe him.”

My heart pounds violently in my chest. He didn’t do it. And he loves me. Is it all true though?

“He even talked to Stone about what to do. The Jones I know would normally be too proud to do that,” he adds.

So he didn’t cheat. It still breaks my heart that he didn’t even have the courage to tell me that. I’m not important enough, deserving enough to get an explanation. He just walked away.

“Okay, so he didn’t cheat, but he hasn’t even tried to call me. I can’t mean that much to him. Seriously? How hard is it to pick up a damn phone? Pay a visit?”

Yeah, I avoided his call when I was in the taxi on the way to the airport, but he’d had ample opportunities to call me since then.
Like all fucking week long when my head was buried in a box of Kleenex
. I would have talked to him, given him a chance to spill. I was prepared to listen.

Daddy grumbles and runs his hands through his salt-and-pepper hair. “Ah, that’s my fault, Peaches.”

What?

“How in the hell is that your fault?”

He knits his fingers together in his lap again, and watches them intently as his knuckles turn white. “I, ah, threatened to kick him off the team and fuck with his sponsorship if he didn’t stay away from you—”

I bolt upright off the couch, blood rushing to my cheeks. “You did what?” I ask through clenched teeth. “How could you do that to him?”

He sighs, his shoulders slumping. “I thought I was protecting you.”

“No, Dad,” I bark, pointing my finger at him like it’s a weapon. “You don’t fuck with someone like that. You don’t hold their passion, their dream in one hand and love in the other, and then make them choose.”

I want to be Spencer’s choice, but I can’t and won’t compete with his dream.

“I know it was a shitty thing to do, Peaches, but, well, he came to me today. He made a decision.”

Perfect. I look to the ceiling. “And it wasn’t me,” I whisper, barely able to hold the tears back.

Daddy stands up and places his large hands on my shoulders, looking down at me.
Goddamn it, I feel like I’m twelve years old again.

“The opposite, Peaches. He said he didn’t care about the team, any of it … he just wants
you
.”

“Huh?” It’s all I can manage.

He’d give it all up for me. The thing he wants most, he’d be willing to put second to
me
. This isn’t fair. I don’t want him to lose his dream. I can’t be responsible for that.

“And what did you say to that?” I cringe, awaiting his answer. Did he beat the shit out of him, and still tell him to stay away from me? Fuck. Is Spencer in the hospital?

“I told him that he still has a place on the team, but as to whether you’d talk to him, that was up to you.”

Tears of relief flood down my face.

“If you really wanna be with him, I won’t stand in your way. But if he hurts you, finding a new team will be the least of his worries. Choosing a funeral plan will become top of his to do list.”

“You know I love you, Daddy, right?” I say, wiping my tears away.

“Of course. I love you too.”

“I’m not a little girl anymore. I’m gonna make mistakes. I’m gonna get hurt, but I can handle it … You have to let me go.”

His eyes glisten, and for the first time in a very long time, my daddy is close to tears. “My beautiful Peaches. The moment you were born I became forever committed to be there for you, to protect you, to give you what you need. I messed up on this one, I’m sorry, but you know what? Now we both know exactly how he feels, and the fact he was willing to give it all up for my precious girl? I
know
he’s deserving of you. You deserve to have a man who will do
anything
for you, whose love is so strong he can’t see anything else. I know he’ll treat you right. Just please forgive your overbearing Dad.”

“I know your heart was in the right place. Of course I forgive you, but you have to apologise to him.” I squeeze him tight around his waist.

He nods. “Yeah, okay. I think I can manage that,” he sighs.

“Good.” I move over to the front door and snatch my keys and helmet from the side table. I grab my phone and turn it back on.

“Where you off to?” he asks.

“I’ve gotta talk to him … Tell him I’m not leaving.”

He nods and a smile spreads over his lips. “That’s my girl. I’ll get going, then. You go get him.”

I run down the stairs. My door slams shut and Dad’s heavy boots echo in the stairwell behind me. My phone beeps like an out of control arcade game. It’s flooded with messages and missed calls.
All Spencer
.

I need to get to him before I hurt him anymore. He has to know I’m not going anywhere. This time I’m not running. Well, I am, just this time, it’s to him.

I slip my phone in my jacket pocket and fasten my helmet. I start my bike, but when I go to reverse, a black Range Rover screeches to a halt behind me, smoke billowing from the tyres.

He’s here.

I kill the motor, and swing my leg off the bike. I remove my helmet and rest it on the seat. Just seeing him, I’m overwhelmed by so many emotions.

Excitement.

Sadness.

Love.

Hurt.

He hurt me. More than anybody has. If I stay, I’ve got to know this is going to last. I won’t be able to handle this again. Not with the way I feel for him.

Spencer gets out of his car and storms towards me. “You’re not leaving,” he orders, his cheeks flushed, his chest expanding with each laboured breath.

Convince me.

“Tell me why I should stay.”

He sweeps me into his arms and claims my mouth with his. He kisses me wild and desperate, like it might be the last time he ever has the chance. One arm held tight behind my back, he dips me backwards. With his other hand, he lovingly brushes my helmet hair from my face.

“Everything I have and everything I’ve ever wished for, I’d give that up for you. I love you, April. So
fucking
much,” he says, gritting his teeth with his last few words.

Warmth blooms inside my chest at his declaration of love. “That was quite an answer,” I say, breathless.

He smiles wickedly, causing my body to tremble with need. Need for him.

“You’re quite a girl,” he says, his voice husky.

I pull back and stand unassisted, and stare into his baby blues.
Boy have I missed drowning in these.
His chest expands quickly as his eyes search mine.

“Who’s Pet?” I blurt out, my jaw stiffening.

“Who? What?”

“
She
, I’m assuming, rang that day, and then sent a message with an address.”

He shakes his head and takes in a deep breath. “
She
is a pest, who I was trying to get rid of. I told her I was with you, but she wouldn’t leave it be.”

“And you haven’t been with her?”

“No! No fucking way. There’s been no one since you. I could never.”

Thank God
.

“Where were you going?” he asks, his brows knitting together.

“To see you.”

“To say what exactly?”

“That I’m not leaving.”

He squeezes me tight, taking all the air from my lungs. His blue eyes water and he sniffs. “I’m so fucking sorry. I’m a first-class idiot.”

“Dad just left. We’ve been talking.” I run my hands up Spencer’s chest, and toy with the buttons on his shirt.

Spencer places his hands over mine, holding them firmly against his chest, his heart beating wildly against my touch. “I meant it this morning when I told him I’d quit.”

My insides turn to mush. I know he means it. The vulnerability in his eyes and his flushed face tell me it’s the truth.

“I know you did.” I breathe out loudly. I love this man, and the fact he would quit for me. “I’m sorry he put you in that position.”

“I’m sorry it took me a week to work this shit out. Your text was like an ice-cold bucket of water over my head.”

“You didn’t strike.”

“No, beautiful. I didn’t. I could never do that to you. You’re it for me.” He tugs my arm, leading me to his car. “Look, I don’t know the first thing about romance, but, I, ah, got you something.” He opens the back passenger door, and smirks wickedly. “I know you’re not a chocolates-and-flowers kinda girl, so I got you a gift I knew would mean more.”

Lying on the back seat are a stack of large, flat, square, brown-paper packages sitting on top of each other.

“Open one,” he says, smiling expectantly.

I rip open the brown paper, revealing a photo frame, exactly the same as the ones in my apartment, with a shot of us skydiving. A flood of emotion rushes over me, bringing back the excitement of the jump. But more than that, it’s the memory of our first time.
On this very back seat.

“Wow. It’s beautiful,” I whisper.

He slides his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder. “Open the next one,” he says, his warm breath tickling at my ear, sending goosebumps to prickle me all over. I prop up the skydiving frame next to the back seat, and rip open the frame beneath. The next one is a photo I took of us in bed one morning. It’s in black and white, and we’d just woken up.

“This is my favourite photo of us. We’re raw. Just April and Spencer. Bed hair and bad breath and … in love,” he says, his voice heavy with emotion.

A tear slips down my cheek, and I turn to face him. “They’re beautiful, Spencer. This is the most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given me.”

He brushes my tear away with his thumb, and kisses me softly on the lips. “Keep going. They get better.”

I open the remaining three packages. In each one, the frames are blank. I turn and give Spencer a puzzled look. I don’t get it. “Why are they empty?”