Strings (16 page)

I giggle and write
back,
Why?

My balls need a fucking sling this
morning.

That bad?
I type.

That good.

He’s not the only one suffering. My lady
garden and adjacent environs took a hell of a beating last night.
But like Shades said, it was totally fucking worth it.

The emotional part gets
buried until I’ve had a chance to process it properly. Can’t deal
with that shit right now, even though I kinda want to dance across
the parking lot, singing tunes from
The
Sound of Music
.

I can’t believe we did it with Rax. Question
is, will he keep quiet or blab to everyone and their donkey? He has
nothing to lose by telling Kate what we got up to. It would
probably make him pretty damn happy to be rid of her—and Jinx and
me too. Less competition to worry about, that’s for sure. And one
less whiny bitch on his case all the time.

Yep, Rax is totally gonna spill. Hopefully
it’ll be later, rather than sooner. I should be upset or at least
worried, but it’s hard to care about much when you wake to a
morning-after like this.

I yawn and stretch in my little bed. Shades
and me. Engaged in hard-core anal behind the bus. With Rax. And
squirts.

That’s twice Shades has turned me into a
human fire hose during sex. I should consider a career in porn.

I crawl out of bed and head for the
bathroom. On the way, I overhear Jillian and Freddie talking.

“
What do you mean the
credit card’s been declined?” she says.

“
I tried it three times.
Even went inside and had them run it there. It’s no good,” Freddie
replies.

I stop to look out the window. We’re parked
at a gas station.

Jillian sighs loudly. “Let me talk to Todd.”
She storms down the aisle to his bunk and calls his name.

Shit. What’s this about? I go into the
toilet cubicle, do my business, and beeline to the front of the
bus. Jillian, Freddie, and Shades are outside engaged in a lively
discussion. Having been born with no shame or sense of privacy, I
trudge down the steps in my holey flannel pajama pants and worn
fuzzy slippers.

“
What’s going
on?”

Jillian cracks me with a mind-your-own
business frown. “Nothing. Go back inside.”

I turn to Shades, drop my hands to my hips,
and resist shivering despite the freezing temperature.
“Nothing?”

He clenches his jaw. I can’t read his
expression behind those damned sunglasses. After a good fifteen
seconds of silence, he says, “My credit card’s been cut off.”

I straighten. Well, ain’t that the shit? The
prince gets to see what it’s like to live on the ass-end of the
dollar sign like the rest of us lowlifes. This ought to be a riot.
“Did you piss off your father?”

Now it’s Shades’s turn to smack me with a
scowl. He faces Freddie. “How much is it? I’ve got some cash.”

“
Four hundred
bucks.”

My lids snap wide open. It
costs
that
much
to fill up a fucking bus?

Shades edges past me up the steps.

“
What the hell is going
on, Jillian?” I say as soon as he’s out of earshot.

She drags me to the back wheels. “This is
why I didn’t want to say anything. I tried to minimize the
potential for freak-outs, but you can’t let shit go, can you?”

Jillian’s clearly upset, but I need answers.
“Come on, this is my tour too. I think we have a right to know what
our money situation is.”

Her eyes spark as if
they’re about to birth some poison darts in my general direction.
“You want to know the truth? There
is
no money. Todd agreed to pay for
all the travel expenses”—she lowers her voice and tosses a glance
to Freddie—“including our driver’s salary and stocking the bus, and
now his cash flow is dry. Our deal was if we made any money after
everyone was paid, he’d get reimbursed. If not…”

“
So, Shades has been
funding this
whole
operation from the beginning?” Holy mother of God.
“Why?”

Jillian’s hard gaze softens. “Because he’s
like you, Letty. He wants to make it. He wants to prove to his dad
and the rest of the world that he’s a great musician.”

If her words were knives, I’d be bleeding
out from multiple stab wounds. My nose suddenly tingles, a warning
of an imminent tear attack on the eyeballs.

Shades told me before he had something to
prove, but I figured the high-horse “music is my passion” diatribe
was just a thinly veiled cover for what he really wanted—booze,
free poontang, and an express ticket out from under King
Armstrong’s thumb.

Shades paid for the driver, food, and gas.
Wow.

I assumed he was like every other rich bitch
I’ve met: full of himself, entitled, and better than everyone
else.

But really, when has he ever exhibited any
of those qualities? That kind of person sounds a lot more like—

Me.

And now my thoughts turn
their pointy knives inward.
Et tu,
Letty?

Man, sometimes I can be so unaware. And
unsympathetic.

What a fucking dickhead I am.

Shades comes out of the convenience store,
hands in his pockets, head down. He slinks around the corner of the
store. I sidestep so I can see him. Scowling, he runs his hands
through his hair a couple times, takes several deep breaths, and
looks at the bus like a forlorn puppy. He turns around and kicks
the shit out of a discarded Coke can. Another frustrated
finger-combing session turns into furious hair rubbing.

Shit. I feel bad for him. I want to jump
into his arms, wrap myself around him in a full-body hug, and
squeeze him for a day. But I can’t, thanks to these strings that
tie me to Kate and Jinx. Goddamn it, I wish I could make the rest
of the world disappear for a few hours.

I look back to Jillian. “Okay, let me get
this straight. We didn’t make enough money from the nights we
played to cover the fuel costs?”

“
There’s a little. None of
the shows were sold out. I was planning to wait a week to pay
everyone so you’d each get a bigger amount. Now it looks like we’ll
have to spend our profits on travel after all. Unless Todd or
someone else has a secret stash in their underwear
drawer.”

“
We need a plan before we
hit Jacksonville.”

Jillian nods grimly. “Time to get creative.”
She pushes me toward the door.

We climb aboard. Rax and Toombs share a
couch. Both look hungover. I avoid Rax’s eyes like they’re
contagious. Still can’t believe I let that asshole fuck me. And go
down on me. And come on the back of my skirt.

Jinx picks at a dent in her drumstick. Dark
glasses in place, Shades mounts the steps and assumes a tough-guy
pose, leaning against the divider between the lounges and bunks. My
heart aches for him.

Kate stands away from everyone else, arms
folded over her chest, and huffs. “What the fuck is going on,
Jillian? There’s no money? We aren’t getting paid?”

Jillian holds up both
hands. “Wait a minute. You
will
get paid, just not as much as I’d hoped. We’ve
run into a snag with funding”—she doesn’t look at Shades—“but I
think we can make up for it with some creative
marketing.”

“
Fuck. I should’ve known
this whole tour was a sham from the beginning. Way too good to be
true.” Kate turns and stomps down the aisle.

“
Hold on, Kate,” Jillian
says. “I’m trying to solve a problem, and I need your
help.”

“
Then ask your precious
boys. I didn’t sign on to solve your problems.”

“
They’re
everyone’s
problems.”
Jillian’s voice turns icy. “If you don’t want to be a team player,
you’re welcome to get off the bus any time.”

The muscles in Kate’s cheek ripple. “I’m
starting to think that’s a good idea.”

“
Please, Kate. Let’s hear
Jillian out.” Jinx so rarely speaks—especially in emotionally
charged situations like this—that I drop my jaw.

Toombs glances her way.

“
Let her go.” Rax doesn’t
look up from his slouch on the couch.

“
Mind your own fucking
business,” I say. I’m walking a tightrope, but if Kate thinks
everyone’s ganging up on her, she’ll totally walk. And if she
walks, that’s it for Cherry Buzz Float.

Rax scowls but shuts up.

“
If you want someone to
blame, it’s me,” Shades pipes in. “I committed to covering travel.
As soon as I get the money, I’ll pay everyone back.”

He’s gonna use his own
cash—not his dad’s—to pay
us
back? Man, I
totally
pegged him wrong. And my
beaver’s back to its old juicy tricks. Thanks a lot,
Shades.

“
You don’t owe me
anything,” I say, knowing Kate won’t like it. I may be poorer than
dirt, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned from Shades, it’s how
to appreciate what little I do have. Fuck, who needs money
anyway?

Gulp.

He presses his lips together in a tight,
fake smile.

“
Me neither,” Jinx adds in
her sweet, quiet voice.

Kate narrows her eyes.

Rax waves a dismissive hand and looks away.
“Fine. Me neither.”

Toombs and Shades’s gazes intersect. “We’re
square,” Toombs says in his gruff voice.

Shades nods at us but doesn’t say anything.
It’s gotta be a huge blow to his ego to go from King of the Hill
one moment to starving sewer rat the next.

“
See how easy things are
when everyone plays nice?” Jillian shoots Kate a loaded glower.
“Okay, here’s the plan. If we want to make money, we need to sell
out shows from now on. We’ve got a number of free tools at our
disposal to do that: social networking, being more visible and
talking to fans, and giveaways.”

“
Giveaways aren’t free,”
Rax says. “At least not for the person giving shit
away.”

Jillian smiles. “Of course they are. Ever
since you mentioned the lap-dance video challenge, I’ve been
brainstorming ideas. Since you guys are so fond of dares, why not
give your fans what they really want?”

My stomach twists into a cherry stem knot.
“Like…?”

“
Something edgy.
Seductive. Hot. And most of all, fun.”

I raise a brow.

Jillian gestures around the bus. “You’re
good-looking people. Tell your fans every time you sell out a show,
you’ll perform in bikinis and Speedos.”

“
Hell no.”

“
Fuck that.”

“
Have you lost your
fucking mind?”

“
I’d wear a dick hat
onstage.”

All heads turn to Toombs. Did he really say
that? I bust the fuck out laughing. In three seconds, everyone else
is busting a gut too. Well, everyone except Kate, of course.

Once we settle down, Jillian says, “Get on
your smartphones and put it out on your fan pages. Ask people to
spread the word. We hit Jacksonville tonight. Two big shows means
you have the potential to sell a fuckload of tickets. Make it
happen.” She pauses to glance at Kate. “Or not.”

As the party breaks, they all drag out their
phones—naturally, I look like a big twat because my damn phone only
speaks Caveman—and start typing. Girls stay in front, and boys go
to the back. I sigh as Shades walks away. The glasses over his eyes
don’t hide his furrowed brow. Poor guy must be humiliated.

Fuck that whole “no strings attached”
rule.

I shake my head and face my bandmates.
“We’ve got a few hours before we get to Florida. Practice?”

Kate scowls like she burned her tongue on
the bitter pile of hot, steaming shit Jillian forced her to
swallow. “Whatever.” She grabs her guitar and headphones.

The three of us tune in to Kate’s portable
and play.

New melodies wind their way through the old
ones in my head. Notes and lyrics float around me. All of them
connect to Shades. He’s taken hold of my heartstrings and won’t let
go. It’s a scary feeling. I’ve been in love a few times. At least I
thought it was love. This is different.

At first, it was all about the sex. Now it’s
not. That’s the part that scares me.

A screaming guitar interrupts my thoughts
and the song. Frowning, I yank off my headphones. “What the
fuck?”

Rax sits at the opposite end of the bus,
guitar in hands, wailing on the beast at full volume through a
portable speaker. Beside him, Toombs leans over a Fender
Stratocaster I’ve never seen before and screeches out a harmony
that perfectly complements Rax’s lead.

Since when does Toombs play guitar? I glance
over at Jinx, whose mouth hangs open as she blatantly stares at
him.

Shades joins them on bass, the credit card
incident apparently forgotten.

If Kate weren’t here, I’d
be in total awe watching the three of them—especially Toombs. He’s
good.
Really
fucking good.

“
You mind turning it down
a little?” I yell to placate Kate. Her complexion is three shades
darker than normal, and the muscles in her cheeks ripple like an
oncoming storm.

No one in Killer Dixon can hear me. I can’t
hear myself.

So, I rummage around under the couch until I
find my little monitor. I plug in, turn the thing up to full
volume, and join in the guys’ song. The deep vibrations rock the
bus, travel through every solid surface. I aim the head of my bass
at them like a gun and imagine the tuning pegs are bullets.