Strum Your Heart Out (2 page)

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Authors: Crystal Kaswell

BOOK: Strum Your Heart Out
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OH, OH OHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

The squeaking and groaning builds to a crescendo and it crashes into a somehow equally loud mix of sighs. I guess they came. Hopefully, Miles has a slow refractory period.

I put on my best happy face. The one everyone expects from me. "I will if you sit on Pete's lap."

"No way." Tom sticks his tongue out like he's disgusted.

Pete plops down on the love seat and pats his groin. "Are you afraid you'll like it?"

Tom jumps off the couch. "Forget it." He reaches for Pete's phone and throws it to him. "Why don't you call Cindy so we can all have a round two, huh?"

"It's two a.m. in New York," Pete says.

"And that's stopped you before?" Tom asks.

There's more space on the couch—the left seat is totally empty—but Drew is still pressed against me.

That flutter shifts lower and lower. It's in full effect. It's ready to throw a tantrum to demand all of my attention.

I push myself off the couch with my best smile. "Excuse me."

Tom nods a goodbye of some kind. Drew turns ever so slightly toward me. I move to the kitchen so my back is to him, but I can still feel his eyes on me.

I pour a glass of water and drink it slowly. Pete and Tom are sparring about something. They're laughing and teasing, still oblivious to my discomfort.

The sliding door to the backyard is unlocked. I pull it open and step outside. It's mercifully quiet here. Cold, but mercifully quiet. Goosebumps spread on my legs.

I sit on the concrete, slide out of my shoes, and dip my feet in the water. The pool is cold but it warms up quickly.

The stars are shining brilliantly. No light pollution all the way in Malibu. Nothing around us except sky and ocean.

The sliding door opens. Footsteps move closer. I keep my eyes on the sky, but I don't need my eyes to know who it is.

My heart is racing. It must be Drew.

"You look comfortable." He sits on the concrete next to me.

I nod. My gaze turns toward him. His deep brown eyes are on me. Those are such gorgeous eyes and the rest of him is even better. Messy black hair. Strong jaw. Broad shoulders. His chest piece tattoo peeking out from his v-neck t-shirt.

I bring my gaze back to his eyes. My heart does nothing to slow down. It's still going rapid fire. Damn thing has no concern for my wishes.

"The water is nice," I say. "Once you get used to it."

"Is that right?" Drew kicks off his Converse sneakers and pulls off his socks in a smooth, seamless motion. His voice gets a little lower. "You don't have to stay and listen to that."

"It's fine," I say.

He raises as eyebrow. "You don't look fine."

"Well I am." I pull my arms over my ample chest. It barely fits into this dress. It barely fits into any dress. But that doesn't usually bother me.

Drew plants his hands on the edge of the concrete and leans toward me. "How much will you give me to skinny dip?"

"You're the one with money."

Drew laughs. "Okay. No bribery necessary." He glances toward the house where Tom and Pete are still going at it. "But you have to promise not to look."

My jaw drops ever so slightly. Drew naked. Drew naked. Drew naked. I cannot think about Drew naked.

"You don't have the balls," I say.

"The way you're talking, it sounds like you're going to look."

"No."

"I wouldn't blame you." He taps my shoulder with his. "After all that time in Asia, I'm pale enough to glow in the moonlight."

"You are not."

In the house, Tom screams something in our general direction. He and Pete wave goodbye.

"Don't be late to practice Monday!" he yells. "And don't forget to use protection."

Drew sends Tom another death glare. It only amuses the guy. By now, I'm well aware I'm a running joke.
Drew spends so much time with Kara. What the hell is he waiting for? A girl with tits like that... there must be something wrong with him.
The guys are not nearly as discreet as they think they are.

The front door opens and shuts. A car in the driveway turns on and pulls away. Tom and Pete are on their way home.

"Tom's an idiot," Drew says.

I kick my feet. There's so much drag in the pool. It's like moving in slow motion. "He's only kidding."

"He should learn to mind his own business." Drew shakes his head. "I can't wait to get my own place."

"Oh?"

His mood lightens. "You want to come apartment shopping with me?"

"That's a girlfriend task."

"You're a girl and you're my friend."

"This kind of thing is the reason why Tom teases you."

"I'll live." He nudges me playfully. "Come on. It will be no fun if I do it alone."

My heart is racing. Racing like a freight train. But I manage a calm expression. "Sure. My internship is done by six most nights, and I don't have class Friday."

"Perfect." He leans back and looks at the moon. "I'm going to do it."

"Move?"

"Skinny dip."

My face flushes red. Thank God he's not looking at me. "You won't."

"I will if you will."

Not happening. I don't swim and I certainly don't swim naked.

I try to respond but my mouth is not cooperating. Drew naked. Must not picture Drew naked. Must not picture Drew coming out of the pool naked and dripping wet.

I press my knees together. Not helping.

"It's freezing," I say.

"You'll warm up fast."

He stands and grabs the bottom of his t-shirt like he's going to pull it off. He makes eye contact and cocks an eyebrow. A grin spreads across his face.

He pulls the t-shirt up, exposing inches of taut abs. That flutter spreads to my belly and thighs. My body is responding to an attractive body. It's instinct. It's totally out of my control.

"Next time." Drew drops his t-shirt. His offers me his hand. "Let's go inside."

He pulls me to my feet. I stumble—the concrete is wet—and he throws his arms around my waist. He squeezes me for a split second and releases me.

"Thank you." I step to the side and grab my shoes.

There's a sound in the house. More footsteps. Miles and Meg step outside. Fully clothed, thank God.

"Having fun?" Miles asks.

"Not as much fun as you two," Drew says.

Meg blushes. Miles smirks.

"Thanks for inviting me." I shove my foot into my shoe. "But I should get home."

"I'll go with you," Meg says. "If you don't mind."

"Of course not," I say.

"You're supposed to stay the night." Miles slides his arm around her. "I'll drive you home in the morning."

"No," she says. "You'll distract me."

"I'm not staying if I have to hear that again," Drew says.

"I've been with you all week." Meg kisses Miles. "It's time to see my friend now."

"Stay," Miles says. "We'll watch
Star Wars
."

Drew objects. "Fuck no. I'm never watching
Star Wars
again." He turns to me. "They watched it a dozen times in four fucking weeks."

"We've tortured them enough," Meg says. "Kara and I are going home and no boys are allowed."

They kiss goodbye. It starts as a peck and slides into some serious necking.

Drew shoots me a
can you believe this
look. I shrug. They're in love. It's sweet.

Meg pulls from the kiss with a heavy sigh. She's panting like she's about to take Miles upstairs for round two.

Sweet only goes so far.

"That's my cue." I find my keys in my purse and motion
come here
to Meg. "See you guys later."

"Yeah, later." Miles blows Meg a kiss.

She mimes catching it with a giggle.

Drew stares at me. There's something in his eyes, but I can't place it. I wave goodbye and lead Meg to the car.

***

Meg and I spend the night at her place, eating cereal and watching movies instead of sleeping. She's bursting at the seams with stories about her time on tour. It's nice to see her so happy, even if I was stuck here, taking winter quarter classes, unable to join in the fun.

It's just after ten when I leave. It should give me a few hours in the common area before my roommate, Nadeen, wants the couch.

Only she's sitting on the couch with a concerned look on her face when I arrive at home.

"Listen, Kara." She folds her arms over her chest. "We have to talk."

CHAPTER THREE

I run through a mental checklist of things that may have upset her, but nothing clicks. The bathroom is clean. There are no dishes in the sink. I haven't hogged the common area in weeks. I've mostly been in my room alone.

She watches me lock the door. I suppose I should ask her what it is that's wrong, but it's probably some minor thing from Nadeen's Big Book of Unacceptable Roommate Behavior.

She looks at the ground with a nervous expression. "Alex is moving in."

"There's no room for Alex here."

"I'm glad you agree." Her expression shifts. Not quite so nervous.

"Okay." I press my back against the door. I'm not sure where this is going, but I don't like it. "Well, as long as he's out of the way, it's fine with me."

"It's been fun living together and all, but Alex and I need to take our relationship to the next level."

"I'll wear headphones when I'm home." It's not like I'll be the first college student to contend with her roommate having loud sex.

"See, he needs an extra room for his office."

"There are a lot of nice co-working spaces in Santa Monica."

"No. He wants to work from home."

She stares at me blankly. She wants me to put the pieces together. Nadeen's boyfriend needs an extra room. There are two rooms in this apartment. She's not about to give up her bedroom.

Shit.

Nadeen sighs. "We need you to leave by the end of the month."

"That's five days away."

"You can have your security deposit back."

"Gee, thanks so much." I press my palm flat against the door. Nadeen is kicking me out of my own apartment. Where the hell does she get the nerve? My breath kicks up. My heart races. I try to will myself to object, but it's not happening.

I'll only start a fight.

Her mind is made up. I'm screwed.

"Alex will help you move. His brother has a truck." She looks around the main room like she's taking inventory. "It's not like you have much stuff. Everything was here when you moved in. It was supposed to be temporary."

No. It was supposed to be this year. I was doing Nadeen a favor when her roommate bailed on her the week before classes started. I gave up a single in the dorms to live here. It made sense. The apartment was cheaper. Bigger. It came with two parking spaces.

"You could have told me earlier," I say.

"I'm sorry." Nadeen frowns. "I really feel bad. We're friends and you... you deserved more notice. Forgive me?"

Hell no. I run my hand through my hair. I step away from the door. "Yeah. Of course."

"Hey. Why don't you live with your boyfriend?" She asks.

"I don't have a boyfriend."

"No? But that guy is always over here. Um... what's his name? Does he have a job?"

"Drew. And he's in a band."

She scoffs. "Yeah. I see why that could be an issue. Maybe Meg has room in her place."

No. Meg has a tiny, tiny studio. She stays up until three a.m. studying every night. And her whole building smells like sushi.

Not that Nadeen cares. As long as she gets what she wants with as little friction as possible, she's happy.

As long as my wishes don't impose on hers, she's happy.

I fight the anger rising in my gut. "We agreed I would live her until school ended."

Nadeen frowns. "I'm so sorry, Kara. It was Alex's idea, but I really do want to live with him. And you'll be okay. I can help you find a new place."

"No thanks."

It's ten steps to my room and I'm away from Nadeen's desperate need to feel less guilty. I take them like it's no big deal. There really is no sense in starting a fight.

I step into my room and press the door closed. Finally, I can breathe properly.

This room isn't much, but it's been mine for the last six months. It's nice. It's comfortable.

This is a hassle, but it's not the end of the world.

I can figure it out.

Music. I need something to calm me down. I put my iTunes on shuffle and blast the volume. A rock song kicks on. It drowns out every bit of conscious thought in my brain.

I throw myself onto my bed and pull the covers over my head. It's calmer here. I'm alone. No one expects me to be their bubbly, supportive friend. No one expects me to take bad news without batting an eye. No one expects me to accept their bullshit half-hearted apologies.

The song changes. A familiar guitar riff fills the air. Damn. It's something off the last Sinful Serenade album.

That's Drew playing the guitar.

My stomach twists. I skip to the next track. I don't have time to deal with moving. Finance test tomorrow. Internship all day Tuesday. Essay due Wednesday.

My cell phone ring grabs my attention. I glance at the screen. Speak of the devil.

It's Drew.

I turn my music off and answer the call. Deep breath. Drew cannot, under any circumstance, know I'm upset.

"Hello." My voice is steady.

"You up for looking at apartments Tuesday around eight?" he asks.

"Yeah, sure. As long as I finish my essay." My voice cracks. Shit.

"Kara—"

"I have to study. I'll see you Tuesday. Just text me the address where we should meet."

"There's something in your voice."

"Remember how we talked about you minding your own business?" I ask.

"I'm afraid I don't recall."

A laugh breaks up the tension in my throat. He makes me feel so mixed up, but I have to keep up my
everything is okay
routine. Drew is so overprotective. He'll butt in and try to help, and I want to handle this on my own.

"I'll see you Tuesday." I hang up before he can respond.

My heart sinks. But that doesn't make any sense. It's not like I want to talk to Drew about this.

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