Strung (Seaside) (3 page)

“What?” Alec came downstairs and pointed to the phone. “Something wrong?”

I stared at the phone. Surely she was going to call me back? Right? That wasn’t on purpose? “I think I got hung up on.”

“Ouch.” Alec winced. “How’d it feel?”

“How’d what feel?” I set the phone down and crossed my arms. Any minute. Any minute now. Why wasn’t it ringing?

“Rejection.”

“She didn’t reject me,” I said defensively. “She probably just lost cell service.”

“Rright.” Alec laughed, “Whatever you say. Oh and PS we have therapy tonight so… don’t be late, and try not to… show up high.”

I rolled my eyes. “Please.”

“I’m serious Demetri.”

“So am I!” I roared, “I can go a night without lighting up.”

Alec’s face fell. “And you know this how? Have you even tried?”

I was officially done with this conversation. “I know my limits.”

“If you knew your limits I wouldn’t have found you face down on the bathroom floor of our hotel room last week surrounded by puke, but sure, yeah, you know your limits, right?” He slammed his fist onto the table and swore.

“That was one time.”

“I don’t care!” he yelled. “It’s never happening again. We aren’t doing this Demetri. I can’t — lose you.”

Snorting I pushed past him. “Funny, shouldn’t you have thought of that before you slept with my girlfriend and got her pregnant?”

“Dem—”

“No. You’re so right. Maybe I’m losing control, losing my shit, but whose fault is that? You broke my damn heart and you expect me to listen to the shit that comes out of your mouth? Your delusional.”

“Just…” Alec’s voice was hoarse, “Try. For me. Just try.”

I sighed and grabbed the keys to my car. “I’ll be back in time for the appointment. But I’m going out.”

“Demetri,” Alec said my name like a curse. “Let me see your pockets first.”

“Am I your child?” I opened the door so hard it almost strained my arm.

“No. Yet you make me treat you like one.”

I reached into my jean pockets and pulled them out. “Empty.” I didn’t want to say it was because I’d taken my stash for the day.

Alec’s face relaxed like he was relieved. “Thanks man, I’m sorry, just paranoid.”

“Yeah well, take a nap or something,” I grumbled, slamming the screen door behind me.

The car roared to life.

Once I was around the corner, I reached into the consul and pulled out a tiny bag of pills.

Tomorrow. I’d quit tomorrow.

CHAPTER FIVE

Alec

LATER THAT EVENING,
I opened the window and listened to the waves as they crashed against the beach. There was something so calming about the ocean, about the noise.

It sounded like peace.

Something I hadn’t felt in a very long time.

A light flickered on next door.

I was still pissed that we were neighbors with the cute girl, let alone that our shrink was her mom. Could things get more complicated? Oh right, Demetri was circling her like a damn crow.

She was texting someone.

Not that I was being the creepy guy that was watching a girl through her bedroom window.

I mean I wasn’t a stalker or anything, but damn her smile was captivating. I found myself smiling every time she did. A twinge of jealousy hit me square in the chest when I realized who she was probably texting.

On my phone.

To her phone.

Where was something to throw when I needed it?

A run.
I needed to go for a run or do something — anything that would get my sorry ass out of my room and away from stalker-like tendencies.

Nat sighed and lay down on her bed.

So I went and lain down on mine.

I imagined what it would be like to hold her — not kiss her — just hold her in my arms. Would she be soft? Would she blush? Hell, I missed a girl who knew how to blush.

I touched my lips, suddenly aware of how many times I’d kissed girls, screwed girls, hurt them, and not even given it a second thought.

She was the type of girl that should have been my first. The one that you kiss once and never want to stop kissing.

I imagined a life where I’d been born normal. I would have gone to school with her; I would have asked her out on a date. I would have kissed her as soon as I could. I would have held her hand.

Demetri’s knocking interrupted my daydream.

“What?” I called.

“Dude” — Demetri pushed the door open, stumbling towards my bed — “I may have overdone it.”

“Overdone it. How?” I tensed as he approached and plopped down onto the mattress. “Ugh, but she was so hot.”

“Nat?” It was a toss-up between sheer panic and wanting to strangle him.

“No.” Demetri snorted. “The girl in the newspaper who said I screwed her. I swear I only kissed her.” He laughed again. “God, I hate girls.”

“Are you high?”

He was silent for a minute, “Maybe.”

“Man… you gotta cut that shit out.”

“She makes me want to.” He sniffled. “She’s so pretty.”

“Are we talking about Nat again?”

“Yeah,” he whispered, “I like her hair.”

Get in line.

“And she has such pretty eyes, you think she’d go out with me? If I asked? For real?”

“That depends,” I said slowly. “Do you think you can keep yourself from getting high so you can actually get behind the wheel of a car and not put her in danger?”

Demetri swore. “You’re not our dad!”

“No.” I clenched my fists. “He’s dead.”

Demetri punched the mattress. “Look, I’m sorry I just have lots of… feelings.”

“I’m aware.”

With a heavy sigh he pushed off the bed and saluted me. “I’ll make you a promise. No drugs. As long as she says ‘yes,’ and we hang out and things are normal. God, I need normal…” He wiped his face with his hands. “Then no drugs.”

“Swear?” A flicker of hope erupted in my chest. “Swear right now that if things go good with her you won’t mess it up. Swear to me, Demetri.”

His face got really serious. “I swear. I want her, man. I like her, she makes me feel… happy.”

“Don’t bring her down with you.”

“How could I?” He seemed genuinely confused. “When she lifts me up?”

Yeah. The only question? What would happen when he tired of her or when she didn’t return the feelings.

Or when I did the same thing I did so long ago — and try to get her for myself. Because who was I kidding? I was borderline obsessed and she thought I hated her.

One day.

One day in Seaside and my life was already flipping upside down.

“Night man.” Demetri shut my bedroom door, his footsteps echoing across the hall.

I got up from my bed and went to the window, watching Nat as she put her hair in a ponytail and crawled into bed.

Swear, she went to bed earlier than anyone I knew — her mom still had ttwo more appointments before the night was over — and both were for me and Demetri. I watched as the lights dimmed in her room.

“Another lifetime.” I sighed, “In another lifetime, pretty girl. I would have asked for your favorite color. Your favorite song. I would have held your hand.” I sighed and shoved my hands in my pockets. “Yeah. I would have loved the honor of holding your hand.”

CHAPTER SIX

Demetri

“FORGIVENESS…”
MRS. MURRAY
cleared her throat, “Until you both can forgive each other, the addiction isn’t going to go away.”

I snorted and looked down at my hands.

“So?” She leaned forward. “Alec?”

My brother tensed next to me. “I’m the one that needs to ask for forgiveness. And I have, but it doesn’t seem to do anything.”

There was an awkward silence where I’m sure I was supposed to be the one to say something but I had nothing. My damn hands were shaking like a lunatic and all I could focus on was either getting high or finding some girl to get lost in for a few minutes.

My knees shook, knocking together as I waited for the clock to strike eight.

“Demetri, Alec brings up a good point. Have you forgiven him?”

They made it sound so easy. Like all I had to do was say ‘yes’ and butterflies would start fluttering out of my ass.

But that wasn’t the case. Because no matter how many times I said that I forgave him — the hurt was still there.

When I closed my eyes, I still saw her guilty face, I saw his.

What type of brother does that? A high one. That’s the answer. Granted, Alec hadn’t touched drugs since — which sucked if you asked me. Nobody likes being the only member at his own party.

Everything felt so out of control that I wanted to scream. Instead, I did what I always did. I smiled and offered Mrs. Murray a solid wink. “I’ve forgiven him but you know as well as I do — things take time.”

“Good.” She smiled warmly and started stacking papers together. “Drug test tomorrow.” She handed us an appointment card. “Please don’t be late.”

One damn week.

I’d been clean.

And already I was wanting to jump into that frigid Pacific Ocean and take a giant ass inhale.

“Thanks.” Alec took the card while I sidestepped him and walked out into the hall. Nat was sitting at the table banging her head against it.

“Rough night, beautiful?”

Her head snapped up and I was suddenly so very thankful that my brother was deciding not to be his usual friendly self. Mine. She was all mine. I wanted those eyes, those lips, that body underneath me and I’d do anything to get it.

She called to me like drugs.

And for the first time in a week I wasn’t focused on the high — I was focused on her.

Huh, replaced one addiction with another. I wonder if that was frowned upon in rehab?

“What are you doing here?” she shrieked.

Alec and Mrs. Murray walked out of the office behind me.

“Oh, hi honey!” Mrs. Murray’s voice trailed off as she started jabbering about another client and then went back into her office, closing the door behind her.

“Explain. Now.” Nat got up from her chair and crossed her arms as she approached us. Damn, she looked pissed. I took a step back and refused to make eye contact.

Alec cleared his throat, “I have uh…”

Wow. Maybe being off drugs would help considering his brain cells had clearly taken a hit. “He has a little problem.” I smirked. “It’s why were here.”

Alec tensed next to me because well, we both knew the problem started with a D not an A but said problem wouldn’t have been a problem if A had kept P in his pants and H out of his veins!

“Aren’t there psychiatrists in LA? Canada?” Nat’s voice pleaded.

Alec mumbled ‘asshole’ under his breath and walked out of the house slamming the screen door behind him.

I almost did a fist pump. Finally, alone with her!

“Sorry” — I wrapped my arm around her shoulders — “it’s kind of a secret, though I don’t think it’s going to stay that way for long.”

Her cute little jaw clenched like she was grinding her teeth. “Mind filling me in?”

And send her screaming through the house? Hell. No. “If’ you’re the math genius you claim you are, then yes, but only after homework.”

Her glare was so damn cute I almost lost it right there. “That sounds an awful lot like bribery.”

“It is.” I shrugged. “Hey you got any food, I’m starving?” Actually, I was craving my body weight in pot and a bathtub full of little white pills, possibly some blue ones, and definitely some white powder. But who was I kidding? I had to pass that drug test if I had any chance of getting out of this place.

With a sigh, she walked to the fridge. “This is pot roast. These” — she made a grand gesture at pointing at the potatoes — “are potatoes, and carrots.” She pulled out a plate. “And this is a plate.”

Whoa! Who spit in her happy juice?

“You put the food on the plate.” She said slowly walking over to the microwave and opening it up. “Think you can handle it from here on out, Rockstar?”

Aw, how cute — we had nicknames. At least mine was baller.

Her anger made me horny as hell. It was… refreshing. Most women just stripped. Not Nat, no she was too busy teaching me how to say big words like ‘plate’ and ‘potato.’

I glared, playing along, then hit the minute mark on the microwave. “I’m still trying to decide if I like you or your irritate me.”

Her sharp intake of breath told me that the last thing she wanted was for me to leave — even though her body language said that if I got too close to the fork I was losing a ball.

The microwave
dinged
. I went to the table, ate my food in silence, then when I was finished went to the sink, washed the remains off the plate then placed it carefully in the dishwasher. I wasn’t an invalid. I knew how to do my own dishes. Besides, Alec kicked my ass if I didn’t pick up after myself. Swear, when the dude was stressed he was organizing silverware.

A few drops of water sprayed on the counter tops so I cleaned those off too and went and sat down.

Nat’s lower lip trembled a bit. Uh oh. What did I do? I immediately cringed, was she the type of girl who just spontaneously burst into tears when people actually did what was expected? Like dishes? Shit. I could not handle tears.

“Sorry.”

Time to make her laugh. “I swear!” I pounded the tabletop and threw the dishrag against the sink. “It’s always the same.” I almost knocked the chair over when I tugged it out and sat on it. “Either girls want to screw my brains out or they think I’m a freaking idiot.” Only partially true. Okay so I played the idiot. Whatever. “Like I don’t know how to get my own food or iron my own clothes?” Fine, so Alec ironed some of my shit, but who cares? “As if everythings been easy on me, no struggles, nothing. Just a damn golden boy with a damn golden guitar.”

“I-I’m so sorry!” Nat put her small hand on mine. It was warm. I liked it. I immediately cataloged that moment as one of my favorites ever. Girls rarely held my hand. Hell, the last time I’d been hugged… well it had been a while. Odd, how much I’d missed such a simple touch. “I didn’t mean to assume anything.”

“Are you actually apologizing miss high and mighty?”

“Yes?” Her brown eyes were hopeful.