Stuff Christians Like (20 page)

By the time you finish reading this book, I will have written five more versions:

Stuff Christian Teens Like

Stuff Christian Parents Like

Stuff Christian Singles Like

Stuff Christian Ladies Like

Stuff Christian Red-Headed Uncles Like

You laugh, but the red-headed uncle market is pretty untapped and I’ve got a lot of ideas that apply directly to men that have red hair and nieces or nephews.

Plus, as I said in the introduction, I need lettuce for my shoe fetish and spinning off this book with a thousand different renditions is the best way to get that.

Wait a second. Did I really start and close this book with some lyrics from a Fergie song? I was hoping it would have been a Bible verse that tied the whole thing together, maybe something serious sounding from Job in the introduction and then something lighthearted from the book of Matthew in the last essay.

I’m so embarrassed. I don’t have anything to say for myself except perhaps,

the end.

Visit stuffchristianslike.net

There are over 700 fresh essays and ideas just like the ones in this book. Plus, you can engage in a global conversation with readers from more than 200 countries.

Ideas include:

#606. – Finding creative things to say when someone dies.

#550. – Surviving church as a single.

#332. – That dude with the guitar at camp.

#325. – The superhero guide to famous pastors.

#304. – The sound guy/girl—In haiku form

#192. – Using “love on” as a verb.

#90. – The tankini.

#1. – Putting a God spin on popular secular ideas.

And many, many more.

If you’ve got an idea that belongs on the list of Stuff Christians Like, please let me know. Email me at jon@stuffchristians

like.net or follow me on Twitter@prodigaljohn.

Thanks for reading.

See you online.

Razzle Dazzle.

—Jon

First and foremost, I want to thank God and Jesus Christ. Not in a “rapper wins a Grammy holla’ at God” kind of way but more in a “your love is so big and beautiful and ridiculous for me I can’t fathom it” kind of way.

Jenny Acuff, without your encouragement, generosity, and constant wisdom this book never would have happened. You are hott with two t’s. I love you. L.E. and McRae, my amazing daughters, you keep our house full of laughter and light. I love you. Mom and Dad, thank you for constantly showing me the joy of creativity and teaching me to laugh. You were doing this long before I was dad. Thanks for such a great example of what it means to be a man of God who can also laugh and throw a Frisbie. Will, Bennett, and Molly Acuff for turning the Acuff dinner table into some sort of Def Jam comedy hour. Will and Tiffany for giving me a home in Nashville. John and Laura Calbert, thank you for breaking every negative stereotype of what it means to be an in-law. You also bought me 1,000 SCL stickers for an event two people attended. Thank you for the optimism. Marci and Justin Saknini, thank you for getting a dog.

Andy Meisenheimer for amplifying every bit of this book with your own editing awesomeness. You are a great editor. Mrs. Harris, my third grade teacher at Doyon Elementary School in Ipswich, Massachusetts, who laminated a book of ridiculous poetry I wrote, forever sealing in my mind a love of writing and laminators. Dr. Jones, Dr. Clemmensen, and Dr. Shipley at Samford University. Billy Ivey, who is much funnier than me and needs to publish the Greyhound. Chip MacGregor, my fantastic literary agent. Brad Lomenick for showing me what it means to be a leader. Ryan Sweet. Mike Salisbury, Becky Philpott, Tom Dean, Angela Scheff, and the whole crew at Zondervan.
You guys made writing and publishing a book really fun. Mark Sheeres, your illustrations made everything funnier. Anne Jackson for going first. Beth Corbitt for agreeing to read the manuscript in exchange for a pound cake.

Brannon and Kendra Golden for reading the book before anyone else and teaching me the meaning of hospitality. Dana MacArthur. Jeff Johnson. Troy Haas. Bryan Allain, Tripp Crosby, and Tyler Stanton. Curtis Honeycutt, Nick the Geek, Hucklebuck, Katdish, Helen, Stacy from Louisville, Matt from the Church of No People, Marni, Karen Linton, Becky MIller, Dewde, and Donna. Pete Wilson. Matthew Paul Turner. Steven Pressfield and the beautifully written
The War of Art.
Anne Lamont and
Bird by Bird.
Joel Thomas. Mike Foster for stressing the importance of staying dangerous. John Saddington. Carlos Whittaker. Christian Lander, the founder of Stuff White People Like, which was the original inspiration for Stuff Christians Like. AutoTrader.com. Jason Boyett. Patty Youngblood. Kaye Cagle. Chris and Lori Windham. Dawn Nicole Baldwin. Mark Bennardo and Terrell Sanders. Abraham Piper. Nathan Beavers. Tim Challies. Boomama.net. Ben Arment. Joanna, the best SCL dictionary writer ever. Brian and Carrie Workman. Mike, Lynn, Wendy, and most importantly, the delightful Erin Maybury. Matt Waller. Whoever first called “fine” the Christian F-word because it wasn’t me and that phrase is awesome. Brad Bretz. John Williams and the
Harry Potter
score, and Miles Davis’
Blue
, although those are particularly the same album. I don’t know why I bothered to mention both except perhaps the hope that the coolness of the second one would offset what a huge dork I am. Chuck Allen, thank you for sharing your creativity and naming the chapter about quitting a prayer list. Josh Murphy for coming up with the dedication.

And all the readers of stuffchristianslike.net. Your kindness and overall hilarity is the reason this book got published. Thank you so much for going on this weird ride with me.

Anyone I forgot, I’m going to say what people who forget your prayer request say the world over—God remembers you.

Founded in 1931, Grand Rapids, Michigan-based Zondervan, a division of HarperCollins
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