Subfrenzy (the Subfrenzied Series) (28 page)

“
Yes, Sir,” I replied automatically. “You're cutting my wrists down.”

But
he held them above my head. Once he knew I wasn't going to let my arms fall, he let go and flipped his knife shut.

“
What's the matter?” he asked gently, kneeling down next to me. “What happened?”

I
moved without thinking about it. His voice was warm, calming... He stopped me from moving when I tried to pull back.
I'd lost so much control-!
So much that I was sprawled over his lap, holding onto him like I was drowning-?
I sat up so he could actually hug me back.

“
...Are you going to cry?”

“
No. I rarely cry, Sir.”

He
kissed me slowly, bringing warmth back until I burned with it. “Of course. What a silly question.”

That
made me laugh. “I missed you a lot. It's weak, I know. I was really worried that you'd release me as your submissive, and-”

“
Did you say 'weak?'”

“
Did I? I don't usually fall apart so completely. I'm sorry about that, Sir.”

“
You don't need to be-” He had me look at him and breathed out slowly. It was the first time I ever saw him confused about what to do. “That's
not
something need to apologize for.”

“
I'm really quite fine now, Sir.”

Quinn
looked at me for a moment and chuckled, though he tried not to. He reached up onto the table for a glass of water that he held out for me. My lips closed around the straw and I drank until the cold from the water stayed on my tongue.

“
Talk to me. Say something.”

“
Thank you for remembering the water, Sir.”

“
You sound better. Drink a little more.”

“
Thank you. May I have more pain, Sir?”

“
You want more--” he hesitated.

“
Yes please. If it pleases you to.”

“
... Yes, baby. I'll give you more pain if you want it.”

“
Thank you, Sir.”

“
Know what you're asking for.” The edge of dominance crept back into his tone. “Because you asked, it doesn't stop until I want it to.”

I
smiled at him. Quinn knelt behind me, his hands wet from the glass when he touched my back. The chill drove what was left of the stinging heat under my skin. My body wanted pleasure and more pain, intense levels of both until I floated and throbbed with energy.

“
On your knees, arms behind your neck,” he said. “Your back is still red from earlier.”

He
stood and picked up the lighter flogger. The ends struck and immediately stung my skin. Underhanded swings fell over the entire curve of my ass. Pain sliced through me and I fought to stay in position, torn between kneeling lower and doubling over. It continued, though I didn't know for how long. I surrendered to it, wrapping myself in the safety of his dominance. My hips jerked forward when the ends wrapped around my chest. It burned as they slid away, but it hurt so good... I knelt higher again and stared into the darkness behind my eyelids.

“
Can you come, just from taking pain?”

“
I don't think so, Sir.”

“
Do you want more, or do you want to come?”

“
Whatever pleases you, Sir.”

The
flogger tails flicked over my nipples. He chuckled when I moaned. They felt swollen and sensitive, throbbing with heat as the rest of my body did. I pushed my chest forward and stayed still as he teased me with pain.

“
What about now?”

“
-- Sir?”

“
Go lay on the couch. On your back. I'll be right back.”

“
My collar--!” I stared at it when he returned. “I'm so sorry, Sir!”

“
I'll punish you for that next weekend, if you don't remember to wear it.”

“
Thank you, Sir!”

“
If you don't remember... Why wouldn't you?”

Quinn
attached the nipple clamps and had them vibrate on low. I held my breath when his cock slid inside me. He raised the nipple clamps setting to medium and fucked me harder. His thighs were strong, muscles firm as he thrust forward and back.

“
May I come, Sir?” I asked, knowing it would happen soon.

“
Yes.” He pulled the clamps off my nipples and pain raced down my spine. I was breathing in as it hit. The orgasm took me under, relief flooding through me sharp as pain. He slammed his hips into mine. I clenched down so hard around him I felt his cock throb. Quinn swore, his hand going to my neck as he pulled out and came on my stomach. He kept my hips pressed tightly against his, my body helping to create the friction he wanted.

“
Don't get up,” he said, giving me his shirt.

I
liked that the Quiet Hours had just started. Midnight to four in the morning was when I felt most alive. He took the shirt I handed him and threw it into the laundry room.

“
How do you feel about staying with me for a few days during the week?”

“
If it would please you to have me here, Sir.” I replied carefully.

“
I don't like having you leave after harder pain sessions, even if you do heal really fast.”

“
Won't you be working a lot more?”

“
You've been here while I've worked. Does it bother you?”

“
Of course not, Sir.”
He sounded sure.
I felt better, knowing he hadn't offered from any sense of obligation.

“
Don't take this the wrong way, okay?” he asked, getting back into bed. “I'm not trying to offend you.”

“
Yes, Sir?”

“
You are, without a doubt, my favorite submissive. The best submissive I've had.”

“
Thank you, Sir.” I smiled, happy that I belonged to him. “Do you have any new rules I should follow?”

“
Rules for what?”

“
Anything...”

“
General rules? Make sure the door's locked, check the windows to make sure Sasha can't get out. Don't leave anything lit if you're not around to watch it. I can't really think of anything else.”

“
Really, Sir? That's it?”

“
I choke you and throw you around.” He laughed, a low and happy sound. “I've left bruises, marks, bite-marks and you don't complain. You like them.”

“
It makes me happy that you like doing those things, Sir.”

“
I'm going to fill the hot tub. I've given you a lot of pain this weekend.” He looked incredibly satisfied, more when he looked down at my thighs. “I fucked you fast and hard, before. It doesn't always have to be like that.”

-
Chapter 21
-

~
Counting Stars ~
 

“
C
areful the--” Quinn made me blush, looking amused and incredibly dominant, “water's hot.”

“
Ow...” I said instinctively, though not very convincingly.

He
laughed and pulled me back against his chest. “Your body's really already adjusted?”

“
Yes, Sir.” I shivered, feeling how much warmer his hands were than the water.

Steam
rose into the air, settling heavily over my exposed skin. I leaned back against him and relaxed into the soothing water sounds, and the prickling, invigorating heat. He cupped my breasts to run his thumbs over my nipples. They hardened immediately and tingled when he pinched gently.

“
I don't have any doubt that you'd safeword for punishment pain. When you're taking pain for pleasure, though, like tonight, do you have trouble safewording?”

“
You almost had me say it tonight.”

“
Really? When was that?”

“
When you wet my back and hit me with the flogger, Sir.”

“
You nearly levitated. That's right. Then you laughed... It turns me on a lot when you laugh like that.”

“
I'm glad that--” After he kissed me, I anchored my knees on the outside of his and floated on my back.

He
pressed a button that made the water start bubbling. There were distorted sounds, the mechanical whirring of jets. I laughed when drops of water fell on my face.
The way he looked at me made desire spark all over again. I knelt in front of him, the water rising to the top of my shoulders. He didn't move when I knelt higher and stroked his nipple with my tongue, sucking gently, following water droplets down to the firm muscle in his abs.
He ran his hands over the flogger marks on my shoulders. I twitched violently and laughed, caught unaware. When he dragged his nails over the middle of my back, I felt electric sensations burn under my skin.

“
You know by now, that I'm more than just a Dominant?”

“
Of course, Sir.” I said, wondering why he looked so serious. “You're a very strong Dominant.”

He snorted. “Are you placating me?”

“No... you're controlled when you want to be. You don't
hurt
me.”

“
You're a masochist. Your priorities for a Dom are how controlled he is, how much experience he has inflicting pain, not-” He half-grinned. “You struggle to let control go, not take it back.”

I was confused. When he was surprised, looking at me like he saw through me, I
never
knew what to do. “What do you mean, you're more than just a Dominant?”

“
I'm a Dominant-sadist.”

“
I know you feel pleasure when I take the pain you inflict, Sir... I wouldn't say you're a
sadist.
”

“
That's the definition of sadist, baby,” he said gently.

“
You don't talk down to your submissives-”

“
To you. That's a Dominant thing, too, you know. Some submissives enjoy it.”

“
I know it's common. That's my point. We didn't talk about s/m until after we had sex. Nothing was stopping you, before you realized it bothered me.”

“
You were.”

“
How?” I asked, suddenly feeling edgy and really uncomfortable with the conversation.

“
...I'm still not sure. I'm really glad I didn't.”

“
I've never stopped you from-- Have I?” The flash of pain I felt was buried under a rush of submissive determination.

Quinn pressed a button to make the water stop churning. “What was that last part?”

“I don't want you to feel...” I paused, realizing my hands had gone to my neck. “Like this. If that's really something you want, I'll--”
But I couldn't...
“You can always-”

“
I don't ever want you to submit that way. It would bring punishment like you've never experienced-”

Thank goodness.
“See?” I kissed his shoulder. “You aren't cruel, Sir.”

“
No, I'm not cruel.” He put his hand over my mouth, pulling me back against him. “You knew all of that, you've accepted it already...” I nodded when he let me. “You know I'm a Dominant, and a sadist, because you're a masochistic submissive.”

“
Yes, Sir,” I said, when he let me speak.

“
Your limit for pain is where it should be. A little over where it should be. I want to work with you on being able to safeword.”

“
I really will if I need to, Sir.”

“
I know, you'll learn how.”

“
Since we're being so honest...” Guilt grated at me. “It's nothing bad, I promise. I think. May I tell you something, Sir?”

He
went still with his arms wrapped around my sides, his right hand on my neck. “Tell away.”

“
I did a really, really short pain session with Lane. For educational purposes, though, so-”
That was no excuse,
my submissive side hadn't been strong enough to stand against the chance for pain.

“
With Lane? Your roommate, Lanie?”

“
Yes. A bdsm lesson became a hands-on lesson about, um, inflicting pain. I'm sorry, Sir.”

“
... No problem, baby. What kind of lesson?”

“
She hit my back with her belt a few times. I didn't actually submit, though. I only instructed. It didn't even, er, leave any marks.”

“
Thank you for telling me.” He tipped my head up so I had to stop staring at his chest. “I'm not mad. You know I wouldn't be mad. How was it?”

“
Informative for her.”

“
If you help teach her s/m techniques again, you've no need to feel bad. Enjoy it if you can. If you teach as well as you submit, you should get pleasure from it.”

“
From you, but thank you, Sir. I won't feel bad if there's a next time.”

“
You're being careful, right?”

“
Yes, Sir.”

“
You let her use a belt on you. I don't want her taking your eye out or anything.”

“
She had my back to aim at, I leaned over my dresser to protect my face. Lane learns really fast...”

“
So long as you're safe.”

“
Thank you, Sir.”

“
Lean back, like you did before.”

I
moaned when he sucked my right nipple into his mouth. His tongue felt cold compared to the warmth of my skin. My left nipple was still sensitive from the clamp. I squirmed, wanting his cock inside me, more when he teased with feather-light pressure. He moved over a few inches and raised my hips. I realized why when he turned one of the jets that was releasing tiny bubbles. They tickled, hundreds of them rushing against my skin. My hips bucked when I felt them slide past my clit.

“
Sit next to me or kneel over my lap.” I did the latter, aching for him as his cock throbbed against my thigh. “I brought one of the toys with me. Do you see it anywhere?”

The
translucent pink toy looked purple, sitting on the dark blue ledge of his shower. It warmed against my skin as he adjusted to fit over his index finger. He put his arms around me and teased my nipples with his tongue. I moaned, remembering the clamps and how hard he had made them bite into my skin. The faint red marks pulsed under his tongue. My hips ground into his, the shaft of his cock feeling silken and warm against me.

Quinn
held my wrists behind my back. Then he made the toy vibrate harder. I spread my legs further apart and felt the water rise to my waist. The vibration changed, no longer pulsing, but vibrating fast and hard. It started at the tip of my clitoris, then swept lower toward the entrance to my body. I felt myself clench down when it rushed back toward the top of my clit. My hips moved in small circles. I dug my knees into the ledge and let my head fall back. He held my wrists behind my back to help me balance. Pleasure rose higher, higher still...

“
May I come, Sir?”

“
Yes.”

“
Thank you, Sir!” Orgasm fluttered through me. My nipples tingled with aftershocks, fading soon after he moved the toy away.             

“
What do you want, baby?”

“
Please, I want you inside me... Will you fuck me again, Sir?”

“
Yes. Not here, though. Dry off and come into the bedroom.”

“
Yes, Sir.”

He
groaned, seeing me come out of the bathroom wearing nothing but my collar. I leaned against him when he kissed me.

“
What you were saying before, in the office? Show me.” 

The
head of his cock was teasing pressure, slowly pushing inside of my body. My legs wrapped around his sides. I pushed my hips toward him when he rubbed over my g-spot. There was no frenzy or rising animalistic need. Every time he thrust forward, pleasure swelled a little higher. He moaned when I sucked on his bottom lip, then let my tongue dart into his mouth.

“
Move your arms,” he said roughly. “I don't care where.”

I
immediately brought my hands to his shoulders. When I scratched him lightly with my nails, he fucked me harder. I moved my hands down to his wrists, back over the taut muscles in his forearms. He cupped both sides of my face and kissed me hard. Then again, roughly enough to leave me breathless. I arched my back, holding onto him as I fucked him harder. Pleasure throbbed through my clit, soothed each time he withdrew and sinuously thrust deep inside me. I pressed my mouth against his shoulder to control how I was breathing. My heart felt like it was beating too fast.

When
he thrust forward, bright energy spread through my body. I clung to him, lost to it because he wanted me to be. Because I wanted to be. Pleasure built slowly, but I didn't try to have him fuck me any harder. He didn't move my hands from his hips. When my back arched, he kissed me slowly, the heat building until I burned with it.

“
You're close, aren't you?”

“
Yes... Yes, Sir!” I gasped, surprised that it was true.
Without pain and from slow sex--?

“
Your eyes...” he laughed quietly. “I want to feel you come.”

Orgasm broke over me a few seconds after. It was calm and smooth, I had no control over how high it rose, or when the tension broke and left me boneless. He jerked my hips toward him, making aftershocks feel electric.
The intensity made me cry out. Energy rose higher than I could follow. The pleasurable, overwhelming submissive haze didn't lift. Not when I made him come, or when I curled up next to him with my back against his chest. 

“
You're shivering.” He moved back, offering me the warmth from where he had been laying. “You okay?”

“
Yes, Sir. Are you okay?”

“
Yes, baby, I'm really, really comfortable.”

Quinn
had his hand over both of my wrists, his arm bent so that his elbow was resting on the curve of my hip. I breathed him in along with night air, sex, and leather from a wrist restraint hanging near my head.

Things
would change, and all-too-soon, yet what I felt for him had only grown stronger. I hugged him harder, unable to feel any emptiness, no desperate longing that left me feeling horrendously alone. There was still so much more submission I could give him, though I didn't know how to access it. He would have to show me how.

“
Thank you for taking me as your submissive, Sir.”

“
You're more than welcome, Clara.” I felt him smile against my hair. “More pain tomorrow. It's time for us to get some sleep...”