Subfrenzy (the Subfrenzied Series) (11 page)

“
What do you want to drink?” I asked from the living room.

“
Anything.”

I
caught myself as I rooted through his fridge as though it were mine. “Hey, uh, Sir? Do you mind if I go through your fridge and-”

I
heard him laugh. “I told you, get whatever you need if you need something.”

…
but it was his place. And I was a
- well, not so much of a stranger anymore. Not with his belt still cinched around my neck. I floated on submission for a moment, happy to be wearing his collar. His temporary collar, I reminded myself. It was only our second session. He hadn't called me 'his' yet.

“
You haven't exaggerated your tolerance for pain.”

I
braced inside when I heard the serious edge to his tone. We were moving into the living room, it seemed. Quinn brought the blanket out with him, laying sideways on the sofa.
             

“
You take pain really, really well,” he said. “I want to talk to you about that, though. Your desire for pain.”

“
What do you want to know, Sir?”

“
You like the thought of me leaving bruises and marks on your skin?”

“
Yes, Sir.” I hesitated, wondering where he wanted me. His eyebrow rose when I started to kneel next to him, on the floor.

“
Here,” he said, patting the space next to him. “It's more comfortable, and we might be talking for a while.”

I
laid down next to him with my head on his chest.

“
Unless they're from pets, you have a few scars that I couldn't help noticing.”

“
Like the ones on my ankles?”

“
Yes, I remember the reason for them. There's a mark on your lower right leg, a few scar lines on the back of your arms. Are those from s/m play, too?”

“
Those happened a long time ago from, uh, proving certain points.”             

“
That means fighting.”

“
Good guess,” I replied, comforted by his experience. “I didn't start any of them. I've avoided more than I've been in. A couple, though... something was said, or done, and I couldn't just let it go.”

“
I have a few scars from fights like that, too.” He showed me the raised scar tissue across two of his knuckles.

I
winced. “What did that?”

“
A spiked lip piercing.”              

“
Ouch.”

“
Those look like they hurt a lot more,” he said, indicating the two crisscrossed lines on the underside of my right arm and the one that continued over onto my left. “You didn't heal that damage overnight.”

I
was surprised he noticed until I glanced down at them. The light made them look darker than they were.

“
I moved, briefly, to a neighborhood I didn't know was so bad.”

“
I'm sorry. How long were you there?”

“
Less than a year.” I saw his next question. “I had two afternoon classes and I wasn't cautious enough getting in one night.”

“
I knew they were from some kind of blade, but... what happened?”

“
Someone tried to corner me on the stairs of my apartment building. I think, initially, he was only trying to scare me with his knife. When his arm came forward, mine came up to protect myself.”

“
What happened to him? Did he get away?”

A
vicious sense of satisfaction prickled through me with the memory. “His head hit a parking meter. I'm not sure what happened when he woke up.”

Quinn
laughed before he saw I was serious. “You really did.”

“
He drew blood, and I know he didn't mean to, but... he did it twice more, anyway. It made me really mad. I slammed his wrist into a railing, then I ran outside to get help. He actually chased me, which was terrifying.”

“
No one helped you?”

“
Only two people saw. And then they kept driving. The parking meter was there, so... I used it.”

“
KO?”

“
Yes. If the guy remembered what happened, he never came after me. I moved that day.” I shrugged, unconcerned. He was miles away, if he was even still alive.

“
Were you okay?”

“
Yes, I was-”

“
That was a stupid question. You obviously weren't-- or were you?” he asked, hearing what I said. “You must have lost a lot of blood.”

“
I was bleeding, but it wasn't bad until I got to my friend's place. Tom. He's a good friend to know in emergencies. After we patched me up, we went to file a police report.”

“
Your friend didn't take you to the hospital?”

“
He wanted to.”

“
You
didn't
go to the ER?”

“
No insurance then.” I flushed. “Seemed like a waste of money. Tom helped me disinfect the wounds. I remember things I read, and I got them to seal with lots of crazy glue.”

“
... that worked?”

“
After a few layers, it did,” I replied, remembering my desperate determination.

“
Jesus, Clara. That's insane.”

“
Tom thought so, too. He did an internet search while I got the first aid stuff ready. It was one of it's first uses, to seal wounds. That ended our debate. I actually
was
really worried that the bleeding wouldn't stop and I'd have to go, anyway.”

“
You're good at compartmentalizing, aren't you?” he studied me in a new way.

“
Not always,” I admitted. “Things could have been a lot worse than they were.”

“
Always.”

“
Do you ask about the marks because they bother you?”

“
They don't. I was asking because I worried that-- Never mind. I'm not worried about that with you.”

His
guarded expression combined with the way he glanced at my arms... I took a guess. “I've  never done anything with self-inflicted pain. How about you?”

“
Not at all,” he reassured me.

“
If I could have gotten into the self-flagellation, self-bondage play, I would have saved myself from sub frenzy.”

“
Have you tried it?”

“
I didn't need to. I knew it wouldn't be satisfying.”

“
I don't ever want to
deal
with something like that, y'know? After my last submissive, I'm not sure what 'too careful' is anymore.”

“
Ask whatever you want, same as you told me, Sir.”

“
Thank you,” he lightly squeezed my shoulder.               

I
could already tell from how dominant his energy was, but I'd been surprised before. “You've never been sexually submissive, have you?”

“
You mean, have I let myself be restrained to something, or have I been an actual submissive?”

“
Either?”

“
I haven't, no. I've let women take control, but not in any s/m way.”

“
Exactly. You've
let
them.”

“
Opposed to?” He glanced over at me and half-grinned. “I understand what you're saying.”

“
Sexy.”

I
saw arousal flare in his eyes as he looked at my arms, my chest, my thighs. “When I was inflicting pain for you, you relaxed and went still. You hit subspace for a while, didn't you?”

Surprise turned into something that felt like pleasure. “I'm really glad you know what that is
.”

“
It's good you can get there. From pain
and
pleasure?”             

“
It's different for pleasure. Subspace from pain is safe darkness, blocking everything except what you're doing.”

“
Darkness, hm?”

“
Not bad darkness. The good kind, where pain is exciting. I like knowing that control could snap. Subspace keeps me from feeling overwhelmed. ”

“
If pain startles you, is there any chance that you'll try to attack me?”

“
I'd never lash out at you. I'm submissive to you.”

“
You're absolutely sure? That's the only reason you need?”

“
I'm sure, Sir.”

“
I'm trusting you, you know?” He paused, grinning wryly. “I
have
been wanting to see you restrained to my bed.”

“
You've got height and strength on your side,” I said, finally accepting he wasn't going to use it against me. “You can pick me up like it's nothing. Opponents like that scare me. I wouldn't win against you, so I'm not going to bother trying.”

He
looked amused, but not nearly as wary anymore. “That's
very
rational of you. Lay on your stomach for a minute?”

I
turned, gracefully as I could being near the edge of his couch. My heart was pounding as I rested my head on one of the pillows, safe in the new position.

“
Your ass is still red, but there's not one mark. Relax. You'll be there for more than a minute.”

-
Chapter 10
-

~
Spookshow Baby ~
 

W
hen I woke, my lower body was already tingling with heat. There had been pain that made my body burn to have him fuck me... but he hadn't. My hips moved restlessly before I was fully awake. It was his decision when I'd feel pleasure, yet the last time had been-- My heart stopped for a few seconds when I heard his voice in my head.
'That's what happens to submissives who tease.'
He hadn't been “mad” at me. Not then, nor the other two times he had me use my mouth for him. Or when he had fallen asleep with his arms around me, one of his legs between mine.
Are you testing me
? I stared at his arm, aching to have him fuck me.

Our
sleeping positions had changed during the night. Quinn had my right leg trapped under his left knee. His forearm was a heavy, comforting pressure over my stomach. But it was already eleven-thirty in the morning, and he had said something about wanting to be awake before noon... I carefully knelt between his legs and eased his cock into my mouth.

“
Clara, fuck that feels good.”

His
hand eventually moved from my chin down to my neck to control how I moved. I relaxed into the way he fucked my mouth, though it surprised me when he came. He hadn't given me any of his usual signals.

“
Sir?”

“
Yes?” 

“
You, uh- Are you-” But there was something in his eyes... something calculating, sharp with expectation. “You're happy with the way I woke you, Sir?”

“
Yes. Yes, I really am.” He chuckled, slightly shaking his head. “Go shower. You like to in the morning, right?
After, there are
places I want to go with you.”

“
Thank you, Sir.” I fell into my automatic morning routine.

Should
I have asked for permission to come?
The shower didn't help spark any epiphanies. Somehow, I felt the answer was 'no,' yet if I were wrong-?
Would he not let me until I asked?
That was a worrying thought. Perhaps it really was a test.

I
was still thinking about it as I waited for him on the couch. His cat decided to be friends with me, sauntering over, stretching just out of reach. When I leaned back, she leaped up onto my lap. I couldn't help bracing, ready to feel nails if she wanted to hurt me. She didn't. Her claws stayed in when she put one paw on my chest, leaning up to smell the shoulder of my shirt.

“
Sasha, meet Tiny,” I said, trying to hide my fear with a strange cat's face so close to mine.

She jumped down and gracefully stalked across the room. I was confused when she stopped halfway and came back, then started back across the living-room again. Toward her water bowl.

“Smart, aren't you?”

It made me laugh when she stretched again, circling the bowl. Refilling it helped me find a lint brush on the island.

“Thanks,” Quinn came out of the bedroom, a towel wrapped around his waist. “I was just about to do that.”

“
No problem.” The question rose to the tip of my tongue, but I couldn't ask. I almost felt relieved when he returned with clothes on. My hair was wrapped in a towel, naturally drying, as I used the lint brush for my long black skirt and button-up over shirt. The purple tank-top underneath was safe.

“
That's a nice skirt.”

“
Thank you, Sir.”

“
Why was there a '
Maybe
' next to the section about receiving oral sex?” He chuckled suddenly. “The note you have:
'I don't need it.'”

“
You saw that, hm?”

“
I might be a pretty selfish human being,
but
I
did
try. Twice. You had me fuck you instead.”

“
It's something you like doing?”

“
Yes. I don't just want you to take pain for me.”

“
You've let me come every time I asked you for permission.” I grinned at him. “Thank you, Sir.”

“
Do you not want me to go down on you?”

“
It's something I've only enjoyed with women. Even with them, though, I like giving more than receiving. It's more fun for me. I'm not sure why.”

“
You don't like it with men?” His eyes narrowed slightly. “Is there any reason for that?”

“
Bad luck? But that's all.”

“
Which brings me back to my original question. Do you want me to?”

“
Whatever you want to do pleases me, Sir.”

“
No, not this time. I want a better answer than that.”

“
It's--” I shook my head, not knowing how to explain. “May I-”

He
brushed his thumb over my bottom lip and stopped me from speaking. “You don't get to answer yet.”

I
probably
was
going to try and distract him again. But I stayed still as he unfastened two of the buttons on my shirt. He pushed the edges aside and pulled my bra down. My head fell back on the armrest when he sucked my left nipple into his mouth. He stroked his tongue over the tip, sliding back and forth until I moaned.

“
You're wet already, I know it. Why don't you want me to go down on you?” He let my bra fall back into place, pulling my tank-top up where it was supposed to be. “Last chance to answer.”

“
It's been too overwhelming, sometimes even painful... that's not the kind of pain I want to take.”

“
Painful? What--?”

“
Yes, Sir, to the point where I've struggled to get away, or-” I stopped myself, about to say I'd faked an orgasm, “I got them to stop.”

“
You haven't pretended to come any of the times I fucked you.” He said it like a statement, yet it sounded like a question. “You've never fought to get
away
. And when you did-
”

“
I haven't pretended with you.”  

“
Not once?”

“
Not once, though you've let me come more than once in a row.”

“
Don't, by the way. If I catch you faking it, I'll punish you so hard...” I knew it would
hurt,
my masochistic side waking for sadism. “You'll know what punishment pain from me feels like.”

“
Thank you, Sir.”

“
Think I can make you come again?”

“
Yes! Yes, please, Sir,” I groaned, feeling him move his hand under my skirt.

“
Yes please, what?”

I
spread my legs when his fingers trailed over my inner thigh. “Yes, you can definitely make me come.”

“
Are you giving me permission?”

He
viciously pinched the skin above my knee, toward the inside of my leg. And he didn't let go-! My gasp was loud and made me blush. I breathed raggedly when he slowly released the pressure. Blood throbbed back under the surface, making all of my knee feel warm.

“
Pinching makes you squirm. I like that, a lot.” When he stroke his fingers over the dark red mark, my skin tingled. “Do you trust me not to hurt you?

“
Yes, but I've never come like-”

“
But? Did you just say, '
but
?'” I went speechless from the burning hot wave of dominance that swept through me. “If you weren't so good, I'd be punishing you already. What did you mean to say?”

“
Please will you go down on me? If it pleases you to, Sir.”

I
held my breath when his fingers dipped under the satin edge of my thong. My hips tilted down when he lightly stroked my clit with his thumb. The jolt of pleasure made me feel close, though I knew it wasn't going to happen that soon. If he moved a little faster, with a little more pressure...  He paused, looking down at me when my stomach growled.

“
You need food.” I was speechless as he patted my thigh.

“
What?” I sat up on my elbows, staring at him.

“
Sandwiches with soup, maybe? There's a good place nearby.”

“
Yes, Sir? I mean, yes, either are okay.”

My
clit throbbed, aching for him to touch me again. Thinking about how he had stroked my nipples with his tongue made me want to excuse myself into his bedroom for ten minutes. Five. I heard dark, amused laughter in my head, my masochistic side challenged because frustration had already started to chip away at my self-control.

“
Ready whenever you are, Sir.”

“
Yup.” He opened the door for me. “After you.”

It was less than eight blocks away. Desire cooled when we entered the restaurant. We ate at the counter, making casual conversation as we watched news segments on a small television. Quinn looked up when financial blurbs played.

“
What company do you work for?” I asked, wondering if one of them had been mentioned.

“
Garrett-Barton Software. Primarily, though, I work for myself.”

“
You're self-employed?”

“
A self-employed financial adviser, yes.”

“
How does that work?” I asked hesitantly, feeling him go professional, more aloof than he had been.

“
I gathered clients, had referrals ready when I graduated from college. I've expanded my client base a little since then. When it comes to running the business, not much has changed from when I started it.”

“
You set your own hours and work when you want?”

He
grinned, but shook his head, no. “That's what I thought. I keep company hours if I'm working with one of them, or I work around my client's availability.”

“
Do you get to travel a lot?” 

“
Once, sometimes twice a week, I commute into New York. Most of my business is in Jersey. Work has been good here,” he replied. “What about you? How long have you been with the law firm?”

“
Two years, give or take.”

“
How many years of school?” He looked sympathetic.

“
Only three.” Three too many. “I dropped out, couldn't do college anymore.”

“
You don't want to be an attorney?”

“
Definitely not. I like typing and organizing. My next job will probably revolve more around writing than office work. I hope so, anyway.”

“
Like technical writing, or more along the lines of journalism?”

“
Formal writing, maybe. I'm more into story writing.”

“
Send me something in an e-mail. I'd like to read some of what you've written.”

“
I'll do that.” And I meant it, which left me feeling strange. Not even Lane had read my stories, only what I'd posted on the blog.

“
You're done? We need to go shopping, don't you think?”

“
Whatever you want to do. What do you need?”

He
put his arm around my shoulders and kissed the top of my head. “Are you doing anything Sunday?”

“
I don't have anything planned, no.”

“
Stay over tonight, too.” Quinn opened the passenger side door and kept me from getting into his car. The heat from his skin stopped my shivering. I leaned against his chest, surprised when he gently pulled my head back. “You're going to take more pain for me later tonight.”

“
Yes please, Sir.”

My
head tilted back when he kissed me, one of his hands closing over my wrist. Looking down, I immediately honed in on his belt. It made me smile, which made him realize why. He pulled my hips into his so I could feel how hard he was.

“
Adult store first,” he told me. “We'll be quick.”

It was a nice one, the store mannequins wearing tasteful outfits. There was a dark blue curtain in the back. That's where he led me, though we were both surprised by how few pain implements they sold. There were feather wands, faux leather restraints, a bondage swing that he and I both decided to leave alone. I stepped back when he grabbed one of the “leather” floggers. My submissive side sank a little further into trust, seeing him try the whip on his arm. It made a
thwack
sound before he brought it down over his arm harder. He snorted, obviously not feeling anything.