Succession (34 page)

I’ve almost tuned out; I figure this will just be another bullshit attempt to make me feel better. I’m surprised when he actually offers me something I want. But I still want to push back against him.

“Why? Still need me so much? More pepper spray you want to avoid?”

Cash shakes his head, looking defeated. I actually feel a little guilty for what I said.

“Sascha, I got so paranoid after our data was released,” he confesses. “I know I can trust you, and I knew it then, but I was shaken. It was petty and wrong of me to forbid you to speak with him. If you think you’re safe with him, you’re welcome to see him.”

I nod. It’s a small consolation, but I value it.

“Don’t tell him about what’s going on,” Cash requests, apologetic. “I still need to rule him out as the one who sold out our information. That will be easier if he knows less of what’s happening.”

“All right,” I agree, because I want to prove Cash wrong as well. “Can I see him now?”

Cash nods at me, and I leave him without another word.

Of course, my dramatic exit is hindered by the fact that he’s the only one with the key to unlock Sy’s door, but he doesn’t remind me of that fact.

I go in to find Sy lying back in his bed, fully dressed, staring at the ceiling. He glances at me as if nothing’s wrong.

“Hey there,” he says, sitting up and smiling at me. He frowns as he must notice the redness that still lingers around my eyes, or the bruises I’ve gotten today. “Are you okay?”

I nod, going to sit next to him. “There was some stuff at an event today,” I explain, then remember Cash’s request not to say much. “I can’t really talk about it. But I got tossed around a little bit, and pepper sprayed… I’m fine.”

Sy nods. “That’s probably for the best. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you.”

I lean into him. “Me too. I hate that he’s doing this to you.”

Sy puts an arm around me, pulls me close. “Cash is doing the right thing. There’s been a leak; the sources of the leak need to be isolated.”

I shake my head. “You’re unbelievable. That bastard has locked you up in here for weeks with nothing to do but stare at the ceiling and you say he’s doing the right thing? You know you don’t have to lie to me.”

“Sascha, it’s been eight days,” Sy reminds me. “Cash checks in on me multiple times a day, and you sneak and try to talk to me more than you should. And he’s brought me some incredibly old tablet that does nothing but play videos or display books. I don’t mind some down time. And he is doing the right thing. Security is my job, remember? If he asked for my advice, I would have told him to do exactly what he’s doing.”

“I hate him for doing this to you,” I mutter, the statement bringing tears to my eyes and making them sting even more.

“You don’t or you wouldn’t be so upset by saying it,” Sy reminds me. “He didn’t do this to hurt you. He didn’t do it to hurt me, either, but he really wanted to avoid hurting you. Again, if I didn’t know either of you and he asked my advice, I would have told him to isolate you as well. It’s just a precaution. Good security.”

“You’re always so logical,” I mumble, even though his logic is comforting. “Who do you think it is?”

“Only a few options. The Argova family would never be so subtle, but they might be connected somewhere along the lines. If they haven’t had him killed, it’s because he serves their purpose. That leaves the lawyer, the mother, or the business partner.”

“Torenze.” The name makes me shudder. “I have my first debt payment with him in a few days. Do you really think he would have done it?”

Sy shrugs again. “Could have been any of them. None of them make sense, but that’s just because we don’t know why the information was released. I’ve seen plenty of backstabbing. My old master, the 27th Street Gang, the others they associated with… especially the ones higher up in the organization. They planned these sorts of things so carefully, making sure none of it ever tied back to them. It only ever makes sense after it’s over. But my guess would be on Kristine Miller. She’s the one who did it in the past, she’s the one who would do it again.”

“Yeah,” I agree. I wish we just had an answer so Cash would stop accusing Sy. “Did Cash tell you about what Torenze did last time he borrowed me?”

Sy nods. “He’s an awful man. You deserve far better than to be given to him.”

The kind words make me smile. “I’m pretty sure Cash said the same thing.”

“He cares about you, Sascha,” Sy reminds me. “I’m surprised he’s letting you go back there again, but I know you made a deal. You’re brave. I wish I could be there with you.”

“You probably don’t want to see it anyway. The things he does… he hurts, he humiliates. He broke me down in ways I had forgotten were possible.”

“If you can live through it, I can witness it,” he says. “I know it just helps sometimes to know that someone in the room cares about you. And I do.”

I can’t respond, so I touch him instead, running my hands over his chest, feeling the strong muscles under his shirt. I’ve missed him, I’ve missed touching someone in general, and I want to feel connected to him. Before I go and let Torenze torture me, I want a reminder of how good it can be.

Sy kisses me when I rise to press my lips to his, but he holds back.

“Maybe we shouldn’t,” he says gently. “I’m not so sure how our master would feel about it at the moment.”

“Fuck him,” I decide, trying to pull Sy back down to kiss me again.

He pulls back, shaking his head.

“Come on, Sy, it will be fun!” I try to convince him. I slide my body against his, needing the contact, wanting to feel him touch me in return. “Let’s just play a little?”

“All right,” he relents, but I can see on his face that he doesn’t really want to do it. The flash of reluctance is gone almost instantly, and I think that anyone else but a slave would have missed it.

But I know that look.

“Hey, Sy, what the hell?” I ask, suddenly disinterested. “Look, if you really don’t want to, you can tell me to go away. Jesus. You’re acting like…” I don’t say it, though, because saying out loud that he’s acting like he has to please me is just too weird.

“Sascha, if you really want me to do it, I will,” he says, shrugging. “It’s not a problem.”

But it is a problem, because I shouldn’t be able to make demands of him like this. “If you said that to Cash, it might be true, but you’re not talking to him, you’re talking to me, and I thought… Sy, you don’t have to pretend with me!”

Sy smiles down at me. His smile isn’t placating, it’s not even insincere. His face is calm and resigned, like it always is. “Cashiel may own us both, but don’t act like you don’t have some influence over him. Especially with the way things are now, if you give him any indication that you’re displeased with me, he wouldn’t hesitate to punish or more likely sell me. It’s the way things are here, and I can accept that.”

He’s telling me that I have control over him, and it rips me apart. “Sy, no!” I protest, wanting to go to my knees and beg him to take it back. “I wouldn’t do that to you!”

Too late, I realize that I’ve admitted that I know he’s speaking the truth.

“I hope that stays true,” Sy says smoothly. “At the detention facility, you tried to please me, I took care of you. Now that you’re the one taking care of me, I’ll do my best to please you as well. It’s only fair. I don’t blame you; it’s just the way things are. I trust that you won’t be petty about it.”

The fact that he can choose to trust me or not make me realize that I am a threat to him. As much as Cash can hold things over me, and I usually trust him not to, this is how Sy feels about me. It devastates me. I don’t know how Sy isn’t devastated by all of this, but then, he just accepts everything that comes his way. I’m disturbed that I have this much power over someone else.

I can’t handle it, and I drop against Sy’s chest, trying not to cry. He reaches down to stroke my hair, letting me take time to think about it. I thought we were equals, but as he’s so clearly pointed out, we are far from it. It hurts to have that taken away, but I can’t deny that it’s true.

“You really didn’t realize it, did you?” Sy muses, his voice holding no tone of regret or anger. “It’s easier to see the world from the bottom, I suppose.”

We lie together for hours, not saying much. Cash has the decency not to disturb us, and I try to come to terms with what Sy has known since the day I made Cash bring him home.

Chapter 30
Paying Debts

Over the next few days, Cash lets me in to see Sy a few more times. The hard part is asking him. I don’t want to speak to Cash, but I know I have to. To his credit, he doesn’t make me beg, or even ask repeatedly. He drops whatever he’s doing and lets me in. I start to trust him a little bit more.

He doesn’t say much to me, either; he’s cancelled the few public engagements he had arranged, on account of what happened the other day. He’s angry, but not at me. I want to go to him, to feel his arms around me again, but I can’t bring myself to do it. If anything happens to Sy, I won’t be able to tolerate the sight of Cash. I don’t know what I will do, but I can’t think of that, not when I have the upcoming date with Torenze to feel sick about. I was already dreading it; the event the other day brought that dread closer to the forefront of my mind. I panicked in that crowd, clawing against the hands that held me down and threatened to pull me apart. What am I going to do when Torenze gets me alone? He’ll detect that fear immediately and he’ll use it to his best advantage.

As if it’s not on my mind already, Cash asks me about it the day before.

“You’re meeting with Oliver tomorrow,” he says quietly. At least he waited until I had eaten to ruin my night.

I’ve thought about it for days, and there is only one thing that will make this even remotely tolerable. “I want Sy to come with me.”

Cash frowns, shakes his head. “I can’t let that happen.”

I can tell he’s trying to be gentle, but I don’t care. I’ve been shaken ever since the event. “You and Torenze agreed that Sy would go with me,” I remind him, hoping that his business sense will outweigh his paranoia. “I doubt he’ll be happy to hear that you’re going back on the agreement.”

“He’s not. But I’ve already told him that I need Sy for something else. He wasn’t pleased, but I told him Sy would accompany you to the next few visits. Everything should be figured out soon enough.”

I shake my head. “I want him there. He said he’d come, he’d be all right with it.”

“Sascha, it just doesn’t work,” Cash insists. “I don’t want to risk this project—risk your safety and mine—just for this.”

“It won’t risk anything. All Torenze will do is torture and fuck me. Remember? There won’t be a thing about the project.”

“If there is even a chance, which there is, I don’t want to risk it.”

I look away, fuming. After a moment, I look back at him, blinking back the tears that are threatening to fall. I don’t want to admit that I’m afraid to go back to Torenze, but I’m terrified. I play the last card that I have left. “Cash, please. Don’t make me do this alone again.”

Cash drops his head, resting it on his hand as he considers it. I’ve just about given up, about to go back to my vow of silence, when he nods.

“All right. You’ve given me so much… I just hope I can trust you both. I’d feel better if he was with you, too.”

I smile for the first time in days and I go to Cash, wrapping my arms around him. It goes against the active ignoring I’ve been sticking to, but it feels good, and I can tell he appreciates it as well. He doesn’t make a move, probably aware that I would push him off, but he leans into me. It’s nice to know he missed me as much as I missed him.

“Thank you,” I whisper in his ear, and I try to hold on to this memory instead of worrying about what will happen to me.

Morning arrives all too soon, and if Sy is surprised to be taken to Torenze’s with us, he doesn’t show it. He’s waiting by the door when I come out of my room, and he’s impeccably dressed and groomed. I smile at him, and at Cash, and I try to feel safer as I join them in the car.

Torenze is waiting for us, and he has the slave with him that he had when he visited us at home. The boy is naked and he looks tired; I can only imagine what’s been done to him over the past few months.

“Changed your mind about the bodyguard?” Torenze teases, eyeing up Sy like he’s a piece of meat.

“Ended up not needing him,” Cash replies coolly. “Decided I’d stay at home, instead.”

If Torenze knows that Sy has been taken out of the public eye for weeks, he doesn’t comment on it. He and my master quickly discuss the pickup time, Cash reminds him of the limits we’ve established, and Sy and I are left there.

The latch on the door has barely clicked before Torenze gives me a sharp slap on my ass. I recall that he’s been instructed to leave my face alone, and I’m grateful for that arrangement.

“Haven’t we had a discussion about slaves wearing clothing in my house?” Torenze challenges.

“Yes, sir,” I mutter, stripping clothes off quickly before he finds reason to hit me again. I hand them to Sy, who folds them for me and places them on a small end table. He waits, looking bored, as I stand there naked and awkward.

Torenze glances at Sy. “And you?” he prompts.

“I’m here on business, sir,” Sy reminds him. “I’ll be staying fully clothed and non-participatory.”

Torenze is startled, but he doesn’t protest. He eyes me up, instead. “Your master put a lot of limits on me, boy. Tell your friend about the nickname you liked so much last time.”

I cringe, remembering the hours of torture and humiliation I had been subject to just a few months ago. “He called me Trash-boy. And I loved it. I begged him to call me that again and again.”

Sy just nods. I’m certain he can tell just how unenthused I am about the nickname, or about talking about it.

Torenze comes over and grabs my cock, hard, making me cry out. I look down at the floor, refusing to meet anyone’s eyes. “Did your tight little ass miss being filled with my cock, Trash-boy?”

I know what he wants and I don’t delay in giving it to him. “Yes, sir,” I answer quickly. “I can’t wait to feel it again. I fantasized for days about how hard you fucked me at the detention facility.”