Sugar Crash (6 page)

"There's a team?"

Joelle smiled and laughed a little. "Don't look so scared. You already know Doctor Wilson but there's also Michelle, the dietician. She'll help you understand Taylor's new dietary restrictions. And you'll also meet Doctor Nate. Well, it's Doctor Ashgrove really. But everyone calls him Doctor Nate. He's the psychologist on staff and he'll help you with any problems you might be having with adjustment. And of course you've already met me. I'll show you both how to-"

"Wait," Darci said. "A psychologist? Why would I need a shrink? Taylor's sick. But she's not mentally sick. We don't need a psychologist."

Joelle put her clipboard down and focused squarely on Darci. "I know you might be having trouble absorbing everything right now. Like I said, it is a lot to take in all at once. But Taylor's not just sick. She has a disease." Joelle held up her hands staving off Darci's protests. "And yes, it's a disease that can be managed. But it's not going away, Darci. Taylor, and you, will have to learn how to live with diabetes. There'll be some changes and it can be tough for a family to accept everything. But it's okay."

Darci looked down at her lap. She shook her head. "No, it's not okay."

"Yes," Joelle said. "It is. We'll teach you everything you need to know I promise."

Darci blinked hard, forcing the threatening tears away. She couldn't bring herself to look up.
 

"Why don't you take a break, Darci? Maybe there's someone you can call."

Without looking up, Darci nodded and waited until she heard the nurse's footsteps leave the room. Her gaze slid down to Taylor. She was still asleep, still unaware of the way her life was about to change. Darci wished at that moment that there was in fact someone she could call. Someone who could tell her that everything would be alright.

CHAPTER EIGHT

The next day, Darci was on her way back to the hospital when her cell rang.
 

Cam.
 

She'd ignored his two voicemails the day before. And by the time the doctors and nurses convinced her to go home and get some rest, it was all she could to do to phone and talk to her mother. Darci felt a bit better too after a few hours of sleep and time to process what was happening to them. Of course, Darci's mom wanted to fly out and help, but knowing the expense of flying across country, Darci had talked her out of it. She could come in the summer, the way they'd planned. Besides, she needed to figure things out with Taylor before she could worry about company.
 

She looked at the ringing phone on the seat next to her and hit the end button sending Cam's call directly to voicemail. She'd call him later.
 

When she got to the hospital, Darci was surprised to find Taylor's room empty. Joelle was back on duty, and she pointed Darci down the hall to the common room where she found Taylor sitting in a chair playing cards with a girl who looked to be a little younger. The little girl's bald head was covered in a ball cap and she held the cards in her right hand, her left being attached to an IV pole. Darci noticed Taylor's IV had been removed. A bandage marked the spot.
 

Instead of interrupting the girls, Darci watched from a distance as they shared a round of crazy eights. Joelle had been right. Taylor looked much better and she was behaving more like her usual, happy self then she had in weeks. It was nice to see her daughter back to normal and Darci felt a twinge of guilt that she hadn't taken Taylor in to the doctor at the first sign that something wasn't right.
 

Taylor must have sensed her mother watching, because after a few moments she turned around. "Mom!" A smile lit up her face and Darci went to her and pulled her daughter into her arms.
 

"You look like you're feeling better, kiddo."
 

Taylor squirmed out of the hug. "So much. And they gave me pancakes this morning. No syrup though. Nurse Joelle said something about not having sugar."

"You're so lucky you got pancakes," the other girl spoke up. Her voice was high, making her sound even younger than she looked. "I only get oatmeal. And then I usually throw it up anyway."

"Mom, this is Kerri," Taylor said.
 

Darci took the hand that Kerri offered and shook it gently. She reminded Darci of a fragile bird. Her skin was so pale it was almost translucent.
 

"It's nice to meet you."

"I have cancer," Kerri said. "I was just telling Taylor how lucky she was to have diabetes."

"Lucky?" Darci looked between the two girls who seemed to have become fast friends.
 

"Yeah," Kerri continued. "Taylor's lucky because she's going to get to go on dates with boys. Maybe to a movie or out for dinner even. Can you imagine a boy taking you to your high school graduation?" Kerri asked Taylor.

Darci sat on the couch next to Taylor. "You're going to go on dates too," she said to Kerri. "But not until you're a little older of course. I think maybe sixteen."

"That's just it," Kerri said. "I'm never going to be sixteen."
 

Darci felt the air rush out of her lungs as if the wind had been knocked out of her. "Of course you are," she managed to get the words out.

"It's okay, Mrs. Johnson," Kerri said. "The doctors already told us that the last treatment didn't work. Unless they can find a bone marrow transplant I'm going to die."

Darci looked quickly to Taylor to see her reaction. The girls had obviously discussed it before she'd arrived because Taylor only nodded at Kerri's words.

"See, Mom?" Taylor spoke up. "I'm lucky to have diabetes. Because Doctor Wilson told me as long as I take insulin, I won't die. And I won't ever need a bone marrow transplant."
 

Darci sniffed and blinked hard. "No, sweetie, you won't," Darci said. She met Kerri's eyes and managed a smile for the beautiful girl who had so bravely managed to put things sharply in perspective for her. Turning to her daughter, she put her hand on Taylor's knee and squeezed. "Kerri's right, you are a very lucky girl."
 

###

"Mrs. Johnson?"

Darci looked up when Doctor Wilson came towards her. After meeting Keri, she'd left the girls alone to finish their card game and give herself a little time to think. Sipping a coffee, she'd been once again reading through the literature that Joelle had given her. Only this time, she was actually reading it.
 

"She looks good this morning, doesn't she?"
 

The doctor gestured towards the girls and Darci nodded. "She does. It's good to see."

"I'm very pleased with her blood sugar levels this morning," the doctor continued. "We still have a little way to go before she can go home. But I'm confident we can release her in a few days."

"A few days? But if she's feeling better, why can't I take her home today?"

"It's not that simple." The doctor's smile was kind. "You both have a lot to learn. So why don't we get started right away?"
 

Darci nodded and followed along as Joelle collected Taylor and led them all into a small meeting room where another man and woman were waiting.
 

They were introduced to Michelle, the dietician and Doctor Nate, the psychologist. Together the team briefly went over what Darci and Taylor could expect from diabetes and how Taylor's life would change. When Doctor Wilson mentioned that Taylor would have to give herself a needle twice a day, she didn't flinch the way Darci thought she would. Instead, Taylor nodded and listened to everything the doctors were saying.
 

They set up a schedule to meet with each member of the team separately in the next few days, and pretty soon everyone excused themselves, except for Michelle.
 

For the next hour, Michelle talked to them about making good food choices, and avoiding sweets as much as possible. Once again, Taylor surprised her mom by handling the news much more maturely then she would have expected.
 

"I don't usually eat much candy anyway," Taylor said to them. "And if it's going to make me feel that awful again, no thank you."

Darci beamed with pride. But Michelle shook her head and said, "I know you feel that way right now, and that's great. But it's not always going to be so easy. There will be times when you're really going to want candy or soda Maybe at a birthday party or on Halloween?"

"I forgot about Halloween," Taylor said. Her mouth twisted into a frown and she glanced at Darci.
 

"It's not always going to be easy," Michelle repeated. "And I expect that you'll probably have candy occasionally. Very occasionally. But when you do, it's super important to monitor your blood sugar levels very closely. A chocolate bar isn't worth getting sick, is it?"
 

Taylor agreed, but Darci could see that her enthusiasm had wavered.
 

"Why don't we take a break?" Darci suggested. "I know I could use a stretch and maybe you can find your friend for another card game, Tay?"

After Taylor left the room, Darci turned to Michelle and said, "I think it's all too much for her. Maybe we could cut things out slowly?"

The dietician put the papers she was holding on the counter and met Darci's eyes squarely. "Mrs. Johnson, diabetes isn't a diet that you can implement to lose weight. These diet changes, they're not optional. They're necessary for your daughter's overall health and wellbeing. Her life, Mrs. Johnson."
 

Darci swallowed hard.
 

"I'm sorry to be so harsh," Michelle said, her voice softening. "And I know it's hardest on the kids. But it's not impossible. And it's worth it."
 

Darci thought back to seeing Taylor playing cards with her new friend Kerri. The girl who didn't have a choice of making some changes to her diet in order to be healthy. The girl who'd accepted that she would never be a teenager.
 

"You're right." Tears came to Darci's eyes. She wiped them away before they could spill. "Of course it's worth it."
 

CHAPTER NINE

Monday morning, Darci woke up and immediately turned the radio on as loud as she could stand it. The house was too quiet without Taylor, especially in the morning. Darci was used to her daughter singing along as loud as she could, with the somewhat off-key voice she'd inherited from her father, to whatever Top 40 song was currently popular.
 

Stepping out of the shower, Darci tried to follow the lyrics, but they didn't make any sense to her at all. And she couldn't help but wonder if they were even appropriate for a twelve year old? The song changed to something about being sexy and knowing about it and she had to admit that it did have a good beat. Darci made a mental note to talk about Taylor's music choices when they got home.

And she would be coming home soon. Doctor Wilson was happy with the way Taylor was responding to the insulin and she'd been talking to Doctor Nate as well. Darci wasn't told exactly what they spoke about, except that he was impressed with how well Taylor was accepting her diagnosis. For the most part. She'd managed to avoid talking to the psychologist all together. He'd cornered her into a brief meeting, but it all felt like a waste of time to Darci. As far as she was concerned, there didn't seem to be much point to talking about it. It's not as if it was going to change anything.

"Mrs. Johnson, the best thing you can do is reach out to your friends," Doctor Nate had told her. "They'll really help you with the adjustment. We find that families who have a lot of support, cope with the change better."

Darci hadn't told him that she didn't really have many friends, and that her own family lived hours away. She nodded and smiled appropriately while the doctor continued to talk about some of the feelings she could expect to feel and gave her a hand out on stress reducing strategies.
 

When their meeting was finally over, Darci stood and shook his hand. "Thank you," she'd said, although she didn't mean it.

"Anytime you need to talk, or need anything at all, we're here." He handed her a business card which she tucked into her tote bag along with the handout and left the office.
 

Darci hadn't given it much thought since. But looking at her reflection and the dark smudges under each eye, her thoughts flashed back to the stress reducing strategies he'd given her. Maybe she'd look at it later after all.
 

She pulled her hair back into a pony tail and threw on jeans and a blouse before heading into the kitchen. Darci grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl and froze at the sight of the Tupperware containers on the counter.
 

Three dozen not-chocolate chip cookies. She'd totally forgotten. How she hadn't seen them all weekend, was a mystery. Or maybe not. For the last few nights, by the time she'd gotten home from the hospital, she'd more or less bypassed the kitchen and stumbled straight to bed.
 

Susanna would have been freaking out at the bake sale on Saturday, Darci thought and before she could stop it, a smile played at her lips. Cam would have filled her in on Taylor, which is why Susanna hadn't called her freaking out. Cam would have told everyone. Darci didn't know why, but the thought of the whole team knowing about Taylor's diabetes, made her pulse speed up. She and Taylor didn't need anyone's pity, or the worried looks. The last thing they needed was the same treatment they'd received after Ryan died.
 

She shook her head. She couldn't think about it. Darci knew she'd have to deal with it sooner or later, but not yet. She had just enough time to get to the store and open it by nine. She grabbed her tote bag and headed for the door.

With any luck, Monica would remember her promise to cover for Darci and wouldn't be late. Then Darci could get to the hospital in time for Taylor's first lesson with syringes. The thought of her daughter injecting herself twice a day still made her stomach flip, but she knew she'd have to get over it sooner or later. Might as well be sooner.