Sun God Seeks...surrogate? (12 page)

CHAPTER 13

“Kinnykins! Oh my God!” Dressed in a floral terry cloth robe, Emma threw her arms around Kinich’s neck. “What enormous
cojones
you have showing up here!”

Kinich smiled and gave her a tight squeeze. He always did like Emma; she was lively and brave, a bit reckless, too. But then again, she had to be if she was going to marry his brother Guy.

And despite his views on Payals, he couldn’t deny that Emma truly was special. He almost thought of her like a little sister—perhaps because there was a time when Emma had been the gods’ only connection to the outside world (a little unfortunate mishap having to do with the Maaskab).

Emma unwrapped her arms and ushered Kinich inside the luxuriously renovated, 1860s loft mansion. The six-story engagement gift, complete with indoor swimming pool and basketball court, had set Guy back a mere sixty million dollars. A drop in the bucket for a god who had all the time in the world to accumulate wealth.

Kinich’s eyes wandered over the large potted plants, elaborately tiled floors, and rustic furniture. Despite being situated in the heart of New York City, Emma had done a phenomenal job of replicating the interior of Guy’s Spanish-style villa located in Italy. “It’s lovely, Emma.”

She flicked her wrist. “It’s nothing. Just wanted Guy to feel at home.” She eyeballed Kinich. “You look great, by the way. Something’s different. Lose some weight?”

Funny woman. The gods did not need to worry about such things. “Must be my new tailor.” That man certainly knew how to cut a pair of slacks for the extra-extra-large male.

She shook her head. “Uh-uh. I can’t place my finger on it, but it’s like you’re radiating something new.”

Holy saints. Could it have something to do with Penelope?

He quickly changed subjects. “I’m here to see my brother. Is he still angry?” Kinich asked.

“You betcha,” she replied.

“And you?” Not only was Emma a Payal, but she wanted children—something he felt should not be allowed. Without question, Guy had already told her this.

She smiled. “Why should I be? You’re only doing what you think is right.”

He bowed his head. “A very mature attitude. I think we could stand to learn something from you.”

“Well, I can’t help it if I’m smarter than the gods—you included. I mean, it’s totally ridiculous to believe the Payals are throwing the universe out of whack. If anything, it’s you gods with your antiquated ways that are messing everything up. I mean, seriously, have you taken a good look at your crew? Total misfits!”

“Well,” he said, “I wouldn’t call them—”

“With the exception of Guy, no one else has ever lifted a finger to help humanity evolve in a positive direction.”

“Well, we’ve…uhhh. Well, my sister Colel—”

“The Bee Whisperer lady? Really? That’s your best example? A goddess who assists in the making of bee vomit?”

Maybe she had a point.

“The way I see it”—she poked his chest—“we’re an upgrade to the deity melting pot. Look how far Guy’s come along since he met me. He’s more civilized—”

“Emma!” Guy bellowed from the other room, “get your hot ass back in here, woman! We have not completed our evening lovemaking.”

Emma smiled at Kinich, and then whispered, “Except in bed, which is just how I like it.” She sighed. “Gods, I love that deity.”

Kinich flashed a polite smile. But truth was, he felt uncomfortable being around Emma and Guy when they were together. Perhaps because he’d spent several millennia convincing himself the gods weren’t destined for love or relationships. He’d resigned himself to the desolate, unsavory notion of an eternity alone—in the romantic sense. Yes. He had his role and humanity to look after. That would have to suffice, because any other option was unnatural.

Emma gestured him toward the living room. “Let me tell him you’re here. Maybe I can get him to play nice.”

“Much appreciated, Emma.”

She winked. “Anything for you, Sunshine Boy.”

In that moment, his cell rang. “Yes.”

“It’s me—Andrus. Your human has taken off.”

Son of a…
“You were supposed to watch her!”

“Hey, I was feeding the ba—sharpening my sword. Not my fault.”

“Not your
fault
?” he screamed.

“Gotta go, Matty needs me to change her daip…uhhhh—tires. That’s right. Tires on her tricycle.”

“Get over it, Andrus. We all know you are the nanny.”

“I am a lethal assassin!” Andrus argued.

“Keep telling yourself that, especially when you are experiencing my fist pounding into your skull, which is exactly what I will be doing after I find Penelope.” He hung up the phone, vowing to make Andrus pay.

He quickly dialed Penelope’s cell. To his surprise she answered on the second ring, but instead of disclosing her location, she ignored his warnings, ranted about some goddamned lost twig, and hung up on him.

Gods damned stubborn woman!

He was about to head out when Guy appeared wearing nothing but a scowl and a pair of silky, red boxers with white hearts. “Not one word, Kinich. They are a gift from Emma,” he said. “Start talking. You have two minutes! Two! But not because I give a shit about you—Emma promised to do that thing with her tongue if I played nice.”

With her tongue? Like he’d dreamed of Penelope doing?

He suddenly felt hot underneath his thick, white turtleneck and black wool pants. “I have to go. Something’s come up.” He turned to leave, but found Guy blocking his way.

“Emma was very specific,” Guy said. “I must listen to you blabber for two minutes about why you are here or no tongue. So don’t you even think of fucking going near the front door until you’ve spoken for one hundred and twenty seconds.”

Thinking of Penelope scampering about the city alone, Kinich snarled. “I’m here because I encountered a Maaskab in the city yesterday.”

Guy’s eyes lit with fury. “Here? In New York? And you waited an entire day to tell anyone?”

“I killed him. And I would have told you sooner, but I had some important business to attend to,” Kinich explained.

“Must’ve been pretty damn important if it supersedes this. So what the hell happened?”

“The Maaskab attacked my—a woman,” Kinich said. “I’m hoping you can help me find out why.”

“Who is the woman?”

Kinich did not wish to disclose the details, but sooner or later, Guy would learn the truth; Cimil had the loosest lips in the universe. “She is a human I slept with. I think.”

Guy burst out laughing. “You! You have a girlfriend?”

Kinich felt his face turn bright red, the flames of anger flickering beneath the surface. “No. This is Cimil’s doing. She drugged us, hoping I might impregnate the woman and then change my mind about putting the ‘procreation with humans issue’ to a vote. But her plan failed—if we did sleep together, Penelope removed the jade necklace so there will be no offspring.”

Gods could only be intimate with a human when they wore the black jade. And, if conception occurred, the fetus would only survive if the mother continued wearing it. Otherwise, the god’s light was too potent for a human body to endure.

Still smiling, Guy narrowed his eyes with suspicion. “And you are here because?”

“If the Maaskab want Penelope, there must be a reason.”

“You think she is like Emma?”

“Possibly. But I do not sense our light inside her. This is why I wish to find out why the Maaskab hunt her. If the attack was random, then I may take a different approach to protecting her. Niccolo advises that you have someone on the inside.”

Guy’s eyes widened with anger. “Dammit, Sunshine,” he whispered acerbically. “Shut the fuck up; Emma might hear you.” He glanced over his shoulder toward the hallway leading to his bedroom.

Kinich quirked a brow. “You keep secrets from Emma? From us?”

“Yes. We cannot risk the Maaskab getting hold of this information. The fewer people who know, the better.”

Kinich’s suspicion was roused. “But why hide it from your brethren?”

Guy stepped closer. “After what happened with Tommaso, we cannot be so naïve as to assume that he is the only traitor among us.”

“Surely the gods can be trust—” Kinich thought of Cimil and a few of his other brethren—idiots with no sense of discretion whatsoever. Then there was Chaam, their brother who had betrayed them all. Who was to say another god might not fall. “Never mind. Good call. Having a spy inside the Maaskab is invaluable. So when might you be able to contact him?”

Guy scratched his chin. “This is the issue. I have not heard from him for several weeks. He keeps a solar-charged satellite phone hidden in the jungle. On his last call, he mentioned that the Maaskab were about to make a big move. Now the phone has been turned off—the satellite does not detect a signal.”

“Is it possible that Tommaso recognized your spy?” Tommaso, the evil ex-Uchben bastard of a traitor, was assumed to have fled with Emma’s grandmother back to the Maaskab. And since Tommaso had been an Uchben for many years, he knew just about every ally to the gods.

Guy shook his head. “No. This is not a concern. I chose carefully.”

Kinich’s phone rang. He dug the device from his pocket. The word
Cimil
displayed on the screen.

“You bitch!” he answered. “I’m going to have you disemboweled, stuffed with flesh-eating beetles, chained to a large boulder, and thrown into a volcano!”

“Ha! Been there. Done that! Got the tat. On my bum.” Cimil chuckled on the other end of the phone. “And I don’t know why you’re so bent out of shape, the midget idea wasn’t mine. Neither was whipped cream. The YouTube video was, though! Can you
belieeeve
? One million hits already! You’re a superstar, baby!”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Once again he wished he had the gift of sifting so he could go to her and tear out her throat.

“You know…” Cimil elaborated, “the video we took of you that night when you were with Penelope? I drugged you. There were midgets? Oh, never mind. So what’s got your man-thong in a twist?”

“For the record, I am commando. And you know damn well, Cimil! You crossed the line this time!”

“According to the video and one million viewers, I’d say you had the time of your life. Personally, I had no idea you were so acrobatic. We should rent you out for parties.”

“I’m going to fucking kill you! Kill. Kill.
Kill
you!” He felt the flames rising to the surface of his skin. Unfortunately, though he healed fast, the heat was excruciating when his power was unleashed.

Cimil cackled. “Not if you want me to deliver your precious people-pet, safe and sound.”

“
What?
You jest,” he snarled.

“Jest? You mean, as in quips, rib-ticklers, bon mots, tomfoolery, shenanigans, or monkeyshines?”

He exhaled a billow of smoke. “Yes.”

“Then…no. Not my style. At least not on Tuesdays. Everyone knows that.”

“Today. Is. Wednesday,” he snarled.

“Really? What year?”

“Cimil! Cut the crap!” Kinich roared.

“Never! Crap is my middle name! Except on Tuesdays. Then it’s Biaaaanca.”

“I’m hanging up now. And then, I will spend every waking hour hunting your bony ass.”

“Hunting
me
? Maybe you should focus on your baby-mama, lover boy; I just spotted Penelope frolicking out and about alone. Not so smart when she’s on the Scabby dessert menu.”

“I do not believe you,” he said.

“Okay. I did
not
just see Penelope coming out of her apartment building toting two large duffel bags. I am
not
following her in my goddess-mobile.”

A horn honked in the background.

“Hold that thought, Sunshine.”

It sounded as though Cimil had dropped the phone. Next there was screaming in the background, “Shut your pieholes and go the fuck home!” Pause. “What? Did you give me the finger? I’ll rip it from your pasty little hand and stick it where the sun don’t shine!” More screaming in the background. “Oh yeah? You just try it, you little fucker!” Cimil barked at someone.

“Gods dammit, Cimil!” Kinich yelled into the phone.

He heard Cimil grumble, tires screeching, and then clunking and static as Cimil picked up the phone.

“Fucking Cub Scouts,” she huffed. “Give them some mistletoe and a few Christmas carols and they think they own the whole fucking holiday!” Pause. “Okay, I am a good goddess. I am a kind goddess—oh hell. No I’m not. So! Where were we, Kin?”

Guy must have noticed the flames in Kinich’s eyes because he snatched the phone away.

“Cimil? What the devil is going on?” asked Guy. He listened and nodded. “I see. Yes. You know that you will eventually pay for your underhanded ways.” Pause. “No. I have not seen the video. Was it good?” Guy laughed. “Really? He did that? With the human and the midgets? Classic. Emma and I will be sure to watch it later.”

I will kill them both.
Kinich lunged for the phone, but Guy stepped aside and then turned his broad back.

“Yes,” he said. “I will tell him. Deliver the girl.” He hung up the phone.

Kinich’s entire body smoldered. “You just fucked with the wrong god.”

Guy shook his head and laughed. “Calm down, brother. Cimil is guarding your human. For a price, of course.”

“Which is?”

“Forgoing any revenge,” Guy said casually.

Gods fucking dammit!

“Did she say where Penelope is?”

Guy shook his head, “No, she merely said she’d drop her off at Niccolo’s later, but she had some cubs to mow down first. Sometimes her humor escapes me—why are baby bears loose in the city?”

Kinich resisted imploding from frustration. “I will go to Niccolo’s and wait for them.” Kinich turned toward the door.

“And, Kinich?” Guy added. “I will keep trying to contact my spy. If I am successful, I will inquire about your girlfr—human friend. But I suggest, in the meantime, you assume she is a Payal—and, therefore, wanted by the priests. Perhaps you should take her to your compound in Sedona.”

“Guy!” Emma screamed from the other room. “Get your sweet ass in here! My tongue and I are waiting!”