Sunburst (Starbright Series) (33 page)

             
“I’m going to try to kill you again,” he confessed in a ragged voice. “I swear to you, I will try to kill you.”

             
“I know.” And a tear slipped from the corner of my eye.

             
“Don’t let me.” And then he was gone.

             
My breath caught as I slipped in the air but I quickly righted myself. More tears poured from my eyes. I felt like collapsing to the ground, letting the impact take me, getting swallowed up by the vast ocean and giving up. But I couldn’t. And not just for me.

             
For Seth too.

             
I moved with my loved ones and we made our way back to America, then Nebraska and finally home. We were as slow as we could be on the way home- without burning Jupiter, without drawing attention to ourselves. Still, there was an earnestness to get Jupiter home and hopefully save him.

             
We landed on the gravel drive silently. It was just past midnight by now and the Stars above were bright and vast as they stretched out from one end of the horizon to the next. I paused and looked at them, silently hating them for the cold battle they fought from such a distance; for the help they could never offer me; for their far-removed existence that didn’t even touch the chaos I lived in.

             
We fought the same battle, but it felt infinitely different. We shared a common enemy, but I was not like them and they were not like me.

             
I couldn’t even grasp the concept of the bigger picture in my damaged state. Nothing, no conflict, no battle, no torment existed except Seth and his heavy presence in my world.

             
Even Aliah paled in comparison to the man I loved and the destruction of what should have been a perfect love. I hated that he was so far away from me, but at the same time I needed him to stay away.

             
I hated that I loved him while he was like this; at the same time I knew that my love was the only thing that would save him.

             
Clattering inside the house drew my attention and I followed the noise through the front door that was left ajar to watch my dad lay Jupiter down on our dining room table. Whatever had been on there had been swept to the floor and Serena was running into the other room, gathering items as my mom shouted instructions.

             
Nate and my dad immediately went to work pulling the swords from Jupiter’s body. He had long since passed out, so I prayed he didn’t feel the jerking and tugging as the men worked to remove the weapons. Crimson blood tinged with a bright, almost neon orange flowed from his body and my mom worked to mop it up with towels that Serena brought in.

             
I watched in horrified fascination as they worked on Jupiter’s body. His skin was sickly pale, but the blood was so bright, so hot. Where it dripped on the table it sizzled into beads. My mom’s hands weren’t bothered by the heat, but the towels were steaming.

             
If he were a Warrior, this wouldn’t be a fatal wound; he would already be healing. But he wasn’t a Warrior. He wasn’t even human. I realized he outlived most humans by hundreds and hundreds of years but I had no idea how resilient he was to this kind of blood loss.

             
Eventually Serena ran out of a job and walked over to me. Putting her arm around my shoulders she led me out to the front porch. Wordlessly she sat down on the porch steps and I followed simply for something to do.

             
For a long while we just stared up at the sky and watched the stars twinkle above us. Eventually she let out a long sigh and said, “I miss it up there.”

             
A humorless laugh escaped my lips and I heard myself say, “Oh, yeah?” Although I felt a serious detachment from my emotions right now. I probably should have been worried about how my body seemed to shut down and block the torrent of pain and heartache I should be going through. On the other hand, it actually felt kind of nice to be separated from what I knew to be an intense, soul-shattering heartache.

             
It felt like survival.

             
“It’s simpler up there,” she sighed. “Not as….. complex. Bad guys are bad guys, good guys are bright, fiery balls of Light. There’s no confusion in who to kill, who to save. Evil is always evil and goodness always, always looks exactly like it should.”

             
I stared at my ruined shoes and waited for her to get to the point.

             
Hopefully she had a point.

             
“I’m glad I’m not staying here,” she admitted and I didn’t know whether to laugh or stab her myself.

             
Instead the emotion I had been holding back broke free and the hot tears were falling from my eyes before I could get control again. Serena glanced down at me, seeming surprised by my show of emotion. A little awkwardly, she did put her arm back around my shoulder and held me close to her.

             
Laying her head on top of mine she said, “You were built for this world, Stella. You are equipped with the right emotions and defenses to deal with all of this. I wouldn’t have spared Seven’s life today. And I wouldn’t have spared Seth’s.
You
are for this world, for the people that live here. They couldn’t have chosen a better Star.”

             
“You say that, but if it were Nate-“

             
“If Nate were trying to kill me, if Nate were no longer in possession of his soul, I would not hesitate. It might kill me, but I would not hesitate.”

             
And there was such solid conviction in her voice that I was stunned to find I believed her.

             
“It’s nice to feel safe now, isn’t it?” she changed the subject before all of my thoughts and feelings had completely settled. “It’s nice what the people down here can do with a blessing. Now that is something I wish I could take with me. I would just bless the whole planet and then retire.”

             
I snorted a surprised laugh. “Retire?”

             
“Sure,” she laughed too. “Take Nate, tour the galaxy, all that good stuff.”

             
I shook my head and laughed some more. “You’re crazy.”

             
She was quiet for a moment and then said, “You know, you are too, a little bit.” She kissed the top of my head, squeezed me a little tighter and then said, “I’m proud to know you, to fight alongside you. You have a strength I didn’t know existed. And when the time is right, this planet will be thankful for the force you will become. The Darkness will cower at your name, Stella. And the Stars above will celebrate in the fortress of power you will be. I know this.”

             
She stood up, leaving me gaping at her words. She patted my head like a small child and then disappeared back into the house. I stayed on the porch, not able to face Jupiter inside on the table, not able to look at my parents who had come so close to death tonight but somehow survived, not able to deal with the rest of my life.

             
Instead I stayed still, staring at a world in the heavens I would never be a part of. I thought about Serena’s words of encouragement and wondered if they would be true. If they could be true. If I could live up to all that.

             
She was right when she said my battle was complex. Seth was my enemy but my future too. How was I supposed to fight him and protect him at the same time? Not for a moment did I believe he or Aliah would stop. They would keep coming after me and keep coming after me, until either I turned eighteen or they killed me. And even after eighteen? Then what? Would Seth be able to come back to me? Would there be anything left of the soul I fought to save?

             
When dawn finally broke in our part of the world, Jupiter was still alive and successfully bandaged up. He wouldn’t be the same for a long time, his wounds were deep and damaging, but he would live. Nate and Serena had taken off, back to their hidden house. And my parents were alive.

             
They said goodnight and suggested I do the same. Jupiter was now in our guest bedroom where he would stay until he was fully recovered. There was nothing left to do but go to bed.

             
I crawled up the stairs and dragged myself to my bedroom. I stripped down and fell into bed. I was filthy, covered in dirt, sand, sweat and blood, but a shower would wait. Snuggling into my pillow and wrapping my blankets around me, I stared out my window at the lightening sky.

             
Just moments before sleep took me away to the wonderful world of peaceful oblivion, I felt a presence and the shadow of something pass over my window. Too exhausted to move and emotionally worn out to care, I let my eyes drift shut and gave up thoughts of the honey-eyed boy that would haunt my every waking thought and watch over me while I slept- even while he vowed to kill me.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

             
“Seniors!” Piper hollered at the top of her lungs. Her head was tipped back and her arms swung out wide to her sides. All at once she dropped her head and swung her arm violently so that her hand hit her open locker door and slammed it shut. “Finally!”

             
“Finally,” I said quietly in support. But while the rest of the school celebrated the last day of school, I secretly mourned it. Part of me couldn’t wait to reach eighteen and set Seth free. And another part, currently the most emotional part, felt depressed because this was it. One more year and I would give up whatever humanity I pretended was mine. I would walk away from all these beautiful people, my friends, the people I cared about most outside of my family and Seth, and embrace a destiny I was quickly learning to despise. This was my last year in civilized society before my days and nights became stuff of super-hero legends only without the comic books to immortalize me.

             
It was like a countdown clock hovered above me, following me around with every step.

             
Besides the loss of humanity I felt strongly, there was the real possibility I wouldn’t live past my eighteenth birthday anyway. Because while the fight on the Sri Lankan beach was something I personally would put down in a history book, my eighteenth birthday was basically an invitation to every bad and dangerous thing out there that I was fair game.

             
My identity was no longer secret and my incentive to come out of hiding- Seth- would be especially advertised.

             
So this was it. In a month and a half I would turn seventeen and then it was just a matter of time.

             
“Is your locker cleaned out?” Piper asked, eyeing me skeptically.

             
“Yep.” I kicked at my overstuffed backpack that was pushed against my closed locker door. “You?”

             
“Yep,” she echoed. She kicked at her own backpack that was not even zipped closed thanks to the books, papers and random locker items that overflowed the top. “Stella, seriously, you need to be a little more excited about the end of the school year. We are going to have an epic summer! We’re seniors and you finally realized what a tool Tristan is. I mean, come on! All good things, baby! All good things!”

             
Her excitement was catching and I did feel a smile break free. But I still said seriously, “Tristan is not a tool, Pi. Give the guy a break!”

             
“I know,” she nodded while looking down the hall where Tristan stood with Rigley and Lincoln. “It’s not very nice to pick on him while he’s so pathetic. Not that I’m sad you bulldozed his heart, but he’s not very much fun while he’s like this. I do prefer my victims to have a little bit of fight left in them. You sucked the soul right out of his future-frat boy body. He depresses me now.”

             
“It’s not like that,” I argued. But Ok, it was kind of like that. “Think he’ll ever recover?”

             
“Hopefully not,” she groaned.

             
“Piper!” I gasped. “He’ll be fine.” But it was more to myself than to her. I had to believe that. I had to believe he would get over me. Our friendship had been nothing but strained and awkward since prom. And while the first part of prom been one of the most perfect if not saddest in my life, we both realized we had to move on from each other.

             
Sometimes I wondered if Tristan only agreed because it was what I wanted to hear. But other times I knew he believed it. There wasn’t a future for us. We had always known that. It was why we had fought the attraction between us for so long. But it was excruciating to watch him recover. I hated that I caused him so much pain.

             
I hated that I seemed to cause every boy in my life so much pain.

             
“Is he why you’re so mopey now?” Piper asked as she leaned back against the bank of lockers. We were still an hour from getting out of school for the summer, but nobody was taking classes seriously by now. Finals were over, lockers were cleaned out. We were just biding our time and saying goodbye to our friends that we would no doubt see in two days at the annual start of summer bonfires that dotted the countryside.

             
“Not really,” I said honestly. “I’m just….” How did I say this?

             
“Is it Seth? Are you still hung up on Seth?”

             
I turned to Piper and felt the tears sting my eyes. I hadn’t seen or heard from Seth since Sri Lanka. And I was thankful for that. But sometimes I swear I could feel him nearby- feel him watching me. Until he made contact I wasn’t going to seek him out; that would just end in us fighting. But every moment of every day I worried about him, worried about what was happening to him, what new and creative evils Aliah was exposing him to. There was so much wrong with what was happening, I couldn’t help but let it consume me.

             
“Yes,” I said honestly. “It’s Seth. I miss him.”

             
“Oh, Stel,” Piper crooned and pulled me against her. “I didn’t even know you guys were this serious.”

             
I fought tears and said, “I don’t think I did either until he was gone. And I hate myself for that.”

             
She hugged me tighter and released me. “Have you heard from him?”

             
“Nothing good,” I sighed.

             
She frowned, her hazel eyes filling with concern. “It’s probably better that he’s gone then. I know it’s hard, but there are other boys out there.”

             
“Ms. Cassidy!” Mrs. Sadler, the school secretary, gasped as she passed us in the hallway. She was well into her sixties and wielded the kind of crotchety power every student was terrified of. “Get to the office right now! Have you been wearing that outfit all day?”

             
Piper pressed her lips together in an effort not to laugh. “Not all day, Mrs. Sadler. I’ve been slowly removing articles of clothing for only the past two hours.”

             
“You’ve been what?” Mrs. Sadler shrieked.

             
“Well, you know, I’ll be a senior next year. I’m just testing out my potential career options before I decide on a college.” Piper smiled innocently and I had to stifle my own laugh.

             
“Do not share what options you’re considering Ms. Cassidy. Go to the office. Now.” Mrs. Sadler held out an impatient arm and Piper obeyed willingly. She flashed me a goofy smile and mouthed that she would call me later.

             
Piper had purposefully worn a risqué outfit today in the hope of getting sent home hours earlier. By lunchtime she had been really upset that the teachers seemed oblivious to the white baggy, boys wrestling t-shirt she had cut into a kind of crop top t-shirt that was longer attached on the sides but revealed a healthy amount of belly and back. It was also scoop necked and a little scandalous. Her extra short, frayed denim skirt was just as bad. The only modest amount of clothing she was wearing was her cowboy boots that she borrowed from me. Lincoln hadn’t talked to her all day; he was either too embarrassed to be seen with her or pissed she was stooping to flaunting her body in an effort to get out of school early.

             
I was just impressed by her confidence.

             
I waved goodbye and then leaned back into my locker with a long sigh.

             
“How committed is your friend to that kid?”

             
“Go away, Jude,” I growled.

             
Cigarette smoke wafted around me and this was what I didn’t understand. Piper got hauled away for her first inappropriate outfit all year and Jude regularly smoked in the hallways, bathrooms, and around the school building and nothing. He was never caught.

             
It did not make sense.

             
I thought about organizing a feminist rally, but I hated to admit that most of the female population of this school was fascinated by the resident bad boy.

             
But that was only because they didn’t know just how truly bad he was.

             
There was an acceptable amount of rebel that every girl sat at attention to. And then there was the pure evil abomination that was Jude Michaels.

             
Ok, and maybe I hadn’t exactly gotten over his betrayal yet.

             
Nor would I ever.

             
“Stella, this is a serious question. I get that your panties are in a bunch over the whole handing you over to my boss thing, but this is more important than your poor, baby feelings.”

             
“I’m going to stab you,” I warned dryly. Pulling my butterfly knife from the inside of my knee high brown boots, I flipped it casually in my hands.

             
I felt more than heard Jude suck in a deep breath of nicotine and then hold it. Slowly he let it out and it puffed in front of me in perfect rings of smoke. “Big plans for the summer?” he asked, ignoring my threat.

             
“What do you want,” I sighed, resigned that he wasn’t going to leave until he got it.

             
“Just checking in,” I heard the grin in his voice even though I didn’t turn to look at him. “You know, doing my job.”

             
“I’m fine. You see that. Now be gone,” I growled.

             
“This is going to be such a fun summer.” He was laughing now. He bent his head closer to mine and lowered his voice. “I can’t wait to spend it with you.”

             
“What do you mean, spend it with me?” I demanded, finally spinning to face him.

             
He was wearing a smug smirk and a few days’ worth of beard growth, that didn’t seem fair to the other high school boys. His hair was more disheveled than usual and he looked shockingly skinnier. I told myself I didn’t care though. I didn’t care what happened to Jude, or why he looked a little crazed. I didn’t care that his eyes were red-rimmed and that they were drawn tight even while he wore a smirk, as if he were hiding some emotion behind a curtain of nonchalance.

             
“Well, there’s run club,” he started ticking off his list while he held onto his diminishing cigarette. “That will be fun, yeah? Then there’s that basketball camp for the little guys that we’re both helping at…”

             
“You don’t play basketball!” I half-shouted, realizing what he was doing to me.

             
“And then I hear a rumor that we’re going to be working together all summer long.”

             
“Oh, no,” I groaned. “At least I can fix that. Mr. Shields will fire you for me.” It was a tradition to work for Tristan’s dad all summer long. He hired all the high school kids he could- cheap labor- and we hung out on Tristan’s farm and spent the long summer hours being slaves to manual labor, getting farmer tans and drinking gallons of homemade lemonade. It was one of my most favorite things. And while Tristan and I were in an awkward place right now, I knew we would get out of it eventually.

             
This was my last true summer with him, I wasn’t giving that up.

             
And I wasn’t going to let Jude’s negative, horrible presence taint it.

             
“Sure, you do that,” he grinned at me, making me feel like I could not actually do that.

             
I could. Tristan’s dad would listen to me. I wasn’t above making up reasons, but only because I couldn’t actually say the real reasons I wanted him nowhere near Tristan or his family.

             
“I will,” I sniffed. I picked up my backpack and hefted it onto my back. Without using my Light the backpack was heavy enough that I almost tipped backward but I regained control of my body and glared at Jude whose lips were twitching with the effort not to laugh at me.

             
“Need help?” he teased.

             
I hated that. I hated that his eyes twinkled and that he acted like he knew me. I hated that he was tormenting me with his presence and stalking me because he claimed he had to. I hated that he represented a world I wanted to destroy. And that he was a direct link to all of my enemies.

             
But most of all I hated that if I had to deal with one Fallen on a daily basis, that it wasn’t Seth that I got to deal with. I hated that it was Jude and not Seth.

             
I just hated him. I glanced around the hallway and when I saw that nobody was looking at me, I took my butterfly knife, flipped it open, tossed it in the air, caught it on the handle and then jammed it into Jude’s thigh.