Sunrise (18 page)

“He’s going to do more damage than actual control if he doesn’t come out already.”

Sighing, Dakota sat down on the bed and set his hands on his knees, watching his friend pace back and forth between the row of windows against the wall. He wanted Steve to say something—anything—to help ease his troubled conscience, but already knew he wouldn’t unless absolutely necessary.

So…do I ask?

He didn’t see any harm in doing so.

Dakota pushed himself off the bed, made his way to his friend’s side, and put a hand on his arm. “What do you think I should do?”

“I don’t know,” Steve shrugged. “Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide how honest you want to be about who you are. I can tell you’re not ashamed of it—because when you came out to me two years ago, you did it in a very straightforward way—but I can understand why you wouldn’t want to.”

“It’s crosshairs on his back if I do.”

“I know.” Steve paused, then rubbed his chin. His brow furrowed a moment after. “You said you already talked to him about it, right?”

“Yep.”

“And he’s on the fence about it because he doesn’t want to cause problems, right?”

“Right.”

“But Kirn and Wills seem to be the only problem. Why doesn’t he just can them if they start causing problems?”

“I hate to say it, but I think he needs them.”

“Probably.” Steve clapped a hand across Dakota’s shoulder. “I know you’re worried about this, but it’s not going to do either of you any good if you butt heads over this. Let him come around—it’ll be easier than forcing him to do something he doesn’t want to do.”

“Yeah,” Dakota sighed. “I already found that out.”

Two hours later, long after the lantern had been blown out and the clock struck midnight, Jamie slid into bed. First startled, thinking that someone had snuck into the room, Dakota lashed out and struck him in the chest, then stumbled back and out of the bed in a tangle of blankets.

“Shit,” the older man said, voice tinged with humor. “I didn’t know you were so jumpy.”

“Neither did I,” Dakota said, grimacing. He tore himself free of the bedding and stood. “I thought I would hear you come in.”

“The door’s not very quiet.”

“That’s my point.”

Shrugging, Jamie reached forward and began to help Dakota remake the bed. In almost-pure darkness, it was hard to tell what exactly they were doing, but they managed to get the bed made in a somewhat-organized state before they both collapsed onto it.

“How was your watch?” Dakota asked, sighing when Jamie settled the blankets over both of them.

“It was ok.”

“Is it still raining?”

“Drizzling, if that counts.” Jamie set an arm over his side. “Sorry I scared you.”

“I don’t care.”

“Is something wrong?”

“Can I talk to you about something?”

“You know you can.”

Dakota sat up. Though Jamie remained on his side, Dakota could tell he was being watched. He could feel the man’s eyes boring into his soul like a cat clinging to his arm. It didn’t hurt, because the cat’s claws weren’t out and its teeth weren’t sinking into his wrist, but the added pressure was enough to make him feel uncomfortable.

Let him come around—it’ll be easier than forcing him to do something he doesn’t want to do.

Good old Steve, always knowing the right thing to say.

“Do you remember what we talked about this morning?” he asked. “Did you think about anything I said?”

“I did,” Jamie said.

“And?”

“I still don’t think we should say anything about it yet.”

Dakota nodded. He settled back down beside Jamie and drew up close to his side.

“You’re not disappointed in me, are you?”

“No,” Dakota whispered. “Of course I’m not.”

He reached down, laced their fingers together, and took the breath he’d so desperately been wanting to take.

He’ll come around,
Steve had said.

He sure hoped so.

“They’re getting closer,” Dakota mumbled.

The mob had begun to accumulate in front of the asylum over the past few days. Driven from Arcburrow’s vacant market district most likely by sleet and rain, they’d first shambled down the stretch of road that led to the interstate, then detoured onto the path that led to Saint David’s Ward and the other few measly stores that dared to propagate in the face of insanity. It seemed pointless for them to travel in this general direction, given the lack of human activity, but for whatever reason, they stepped foot onto the road and didn’t stop walking.

Upon entering the jagged, indirect path, they’d quickly become trapped by the manmade roadblock constructed by cars and other debris.  Unable to move forward, they’d simply remained in place. As such, they hadn’t left.

They won’t leave,
Dakota thought.
There’s no reason for them to.

Standing amidst the tattered display of death and destruction, Dakota slid his hands into his pockets and watched Jamie light a cigarette. His hand up, then over, the click of a zippo sounded in his ears before the scent of smoke drifted into his nose.

In the parking lot below, a zombie dressed as Santa Clause looked up.

“It heard you,” Dakota whispered, gesturing Jamie to settle down in one of two chairs in the eastern watch tower.

“I noticed,” Jamie chuckled, then, in a sing-songy voice, added, “He knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you’re awake.”

“More like he knows where you are breathing,” Dakota said, crossing his arms over his chest. “Heh. I guess it’d be funnier if we didn’t have to worry about them breaking in.”

“They’re not gonna break in, Dakota. We’ll lure them off just like we always do.”

“There’s getting to be too many, Jamie. You can’t expect our tricks to work forever.”

“They’ve worked up until now.”

Dakota shook his head. Frowning, Jamie took another drag off his cigarette, then pushed it over. At that moment, Dakota thought it was the exact thing he needed. The first breath of nicotine that spiked his brain instantly calmed him. “This the reason you smoke?” he chuckled.

“I guess. I picked it up in the army.”

“Helps your nerves?”

“It does.”

It’s sure helping mine.

Taking another drag, Dakota passed the cigarette back to his boyfriend, then stood and made his way to the railing. The zombie Santa had apparently lost interest in the click of the zippo and had wandered to the other side of the street, toward the photography store he’d heard they’d initially rescued Desmond from.

“Nothing to worry about,” Jamie said, pressing a hand against his lower back. “I’ll have someone get on the roof and start luring them away again.”

“Again,”
Dakota said.

“Huh?”

“You said
again.
We’ve had to do this twice in the past three days.”

“I can’t help what they do.”

“I know. That’s what scares me so much.”

Jamie stood, set the cigarette between his lips, then wrapped his arms around Dakota’s waist.

“Jamie?” he whispered.

“Huh?”

“What’ll happen if no one comes for us?”

“I don’t like to think about that. It’s better to think someone will come than to think no one ever will.”

Dakota tilted his head back and closed his eyes.

Was it really better to be ignorant and hope that someone would come for them?

He didn’t know.

He didn’t think he wanted to.

Jamie raised his voice to draw the group’s attention. “Listen up, everyone! I’ve got something I want to talk to you about.”

“Is this about the zombies?” Dustin asked.

“Somewhat,” Jamie replied, waiting for the last of the voices to die down. “As you all are aware, we’ve been having a bit of difficulty keeping the zombies away from the asylum. This is in part due to the barrier we’ve constructed on the west side of the road. This means the only way the zombies can leave is to the east, up the snake road that leads to the main highway.”

“So what you’re saying,” Ian spoke up, “is that they’re basically trapped.”

“Exactly,” Jamie said. “This concerns me mostly because they’ve been hanging around the road. The only thing separating us from them is a chain-link fence.”

“Simple solution,” Kirn said. “We shoot the bastards.”

“Shooting is only going to draw more of them,” Erik said. He glanced up from his food to look Kirn straight in the eye. “You know, a loud noise plus zombies equals a swarm.”

“I know that, dumbass. We should just build a gate to keep the fuckers out.”

“Then we’re isolating ourselves away from the road,” Jamie said. “It’s a good idea, but if we need to get out of here fast, we don’t want to have to mess with a gate.”

“Point taken.”

“That wasn’t the only thing I wanted to talk about,” Jamie said. “I wanted to talk about something else.”

The hairs on Dakota’s arms went up.

He isn’t…

“I’m sure all of you are aware that I’ve been sneaking around at night,” Jamie began, instantly silencing the table with the thought of accusation alone. “Now, before I continue, let me just say that I haven’t been up to anything that’s going to hurt the group, at least not physically.”

“You been sneaking around on us, captain?” Wills asked.

“In a way, yes, Wills, I have.” Jamie swallowed. “I wanted to come clean about something before I lost the balls to do it.”

He’s not going to say it.

“I’m gay, and I’m in love with someone who means very much to me.”

Almost instantly, all eyes turned on Dakota.

Great. Now I’m the lamb in the lion’s den.

“You’re a fag?” Kirn asked, turning his eyes on Jamie after he gave Dakota the worst glare he could possibly summon.

“Yeah, but I’d prefer you not use that word around me.”

“I’m not listening to some
fag.”

“What the fuck does it matter?” Erik asked.

“He’s a fuckin’
fag,
Erik.”

“I know, you fucking dumbass. I’ve been his best friend for years.”

“And you don’t have a problem with him taking it up the ass, huh?”

“Do
you
have a problem with it?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Seems like the only person that would have a problem with it is someone who doesn’t want anyone to know he might like it,” Michael muttered.

Several people around the table chuckled, including Alexis. Her heightened pitch instantly singled her out to Kirn and Wills’ stares. “Hey, bitch,” Wills said. “What’s so funny?”

“
You
are,” Alexis shot back. “You sure are making a big deal out of something so stupid, aren’t you, guys? Something tells me you might have something to hide.”

“Fuck you whore,” Kirn growled. “At least I’m not going around sleeping with—”

“That’s enough,” Jamie said.

“Fuck you,
faggot.
Go let your boyfriend give it to you up the ass.”

“Would you like to leave, Kirn?”

“What?”

“I said,
would you like to leave?
Because if you don’t shut your fucking mouth, both of you are free to go.”

“I’m not listening to some fag.”

“Then you can leave. The front door’s right there, complete with a four-or-five-dozen zombies.”

Neither man said a word in response. Dakota grimaced as a fire started coursing through his chest, quickening his heartbeat and shortening his breaths. Steve set a hand across his back and squeezed his shoulder.
It’s all right,
his friend mouthed.

Dakota reached down to grip Steve’s other hand in response.

“Fine,” Kirn finally said. “Come on, Wills. We’ll leave then.”

“I don’t want any more of this bullshit,” Jamie said, raising his voice as the two men took their trays and began to walk back toward their room. “I mean it, Kirn, Wills. Keep causing trouble and you’ll be out of here before you can say the word
bullshit!”

The door to their room slammed shut.

The air now free of animosity, Jamie turned his attention on Dakota. His features softened the moment he lay eyes on him. “I love you, babe.”

“Why did you do this, Jamie?”

“Because I couldn’t hide the way I feel anymore.”

Erik raised both hands and clapped. Dustin and Michael followed suit, quickly followed by the rest of the table. Jamie’s lips parted in a smile as the sound began to die down.

“You didn’t have to do this for me, Jamie.”

“I know,” Jamie said. “I did it for myself.”