Sunset In Central Park (8 page)

She’d always felt safe with Matt, but right now she didn’t feel safe. She was trying to stay in her comfort zone and he seemed determined to nudge her out of it. Which wasn’t like him.

She was filled with a whole bunch of feelings she didn’t recognize and had no idea what to do with.

“I don’t expect you to understand. When you’re with a woman it’s probably very simple.”

He lifted his hand and pushed her hair back from her face. She felt the rough pads of his fingertips brush gently against her skin and started to tremble.

“When I’m with a woman,” he said softly, “I want her to be herself. If someone isn’t interested in who you really are, or in showing you who they really are, you’re probably wasting your time dating them.”

He let his hand drop but the trembling didn’t stop. It was as if he’d hit a trigger point. She saw his face through a blur of sunlight and the feverish patterns created by her own brain.

When I’m with a woman
…

All she could think was
lucky woman.

The atmosphere was electric and she felt that strange rush of awareness brush across her skin. Her heart was pounding so hard she expected the entire crew to pick up the rhythm.

“Are you seeing someone at the moment?” Why, oh why had she asked him that question? She didn’t want to know. She truly didn’t want to know. She rubbed her hands over her arms, wondering how she could have goose bumps when it was so hot.

“I’m not seeing anyone.”

“There’s no one who interests you?”

“There is someone who interests me a great deal.”

“Oh.” Frankie felt as if she’d been kicked in the stomach. “Well, that’s—exciting.”

Not in a million years would she have expected his announcement to bother her as much as it did. Misery descended like a thick winter mist, smothering her good mood.

She wished she hadn’t asked but at the same time she was glad she had because at least it would stop her thinking dreamy thoughts and having anxious moments worrying that their relationship might be changing.

That comment about her having beautiful eyes had been just that—a comment.

For some men dating was virtually a hobby, but Matt was different.

Matt, she knew, wasn’t the sort of man to sleep his way through the female population just because he could. Nor was he the sort of man who needed a woman on his arm to inflate his ego. If he was interested in someone then she must be special.

Her ribs ached with the acid burn of jealousy.

She saw a brief vision of the future, of evenings spent on the roof terrace, with Matt and his girlfriend entwined together on one of the low cushions.

“I’m happy for you.” She said the words, even though she didn’t feel them. “That’s great.”

What sort of woman had caught his attention? She’d be beautiful, obviously. Smart. That went without saying. And sexually confident. Definitely someone who would know how to flirt when the situation called for it.

Not the sort of woman who wore glasses when she didn’t need them.

“It’s not great.” He tucked the plans under his arm. “It’s complicated.”

Frankie had no idea what to say to that. She felt horribly inadequate. She was the
last
person to give anyone advice on relationships. “Relationships are always complicated. That’s why I don’t bother. I have no idea what a normal, healthy relationship looks like. And there I go again—being the rain cloud on someone’s patch of sunshine. Ignore me. If you want advice, talk to Eva. When it comes to love, she has all the answers. And she believes in it, which helps.”

“I don’t want to talk to Eva.”

Was he saying that he wanted to talk to
her?

She was trapped between wanting to escape and wanting to be a good friend.

She had absolutely nothing of use to say on the subject of love, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t listen. This was Matt. Matt, who had given her a lovely home for years. “I can’t give advice, but I can listen if you want to talk.”

And if she turned green with envy, at least she’d match the plants.

“You’d do that?” There was a hint of humor in his voice. “Even though dating is your least favorite subject?”

“I don’t want some woman messing you around. I like you.” Oh, crap. She shouldn’t have said that. “We’re friends. Of course I like you. If you want to talk, talk. Tell me about this woman you’re interested in. She must be pretty special if you like her.”

“She is.”

His words added another bruise to the many that were accumulating.

“Why is it complicated? I assume she’s not married or still at school?” Seeing his brows lift she blushed and shook her head in apology. “Sorry. This is why you shouldn’t be talking to me. When it comes to love, my every thought is warped. So what’s the problem? Just tell her straight out. Or are you afraid she isn’t interested?”

“She’s interested.”

“Well, of course she is!” Envy made her irritable. “She’d have to be crazy not to be interested. You’re the whole package, Matt—the three Ss, as Eva calls it.”

“The three Ss?”

“Single, sane and s—” She was going to say
sexy,
but she suddenly realized how easily that could be misinterpreted. If he knew she found him sexy, she’d never be able to look him in the eye again, and that was already hard enough after the whole glasses incident. “Solvent,” she muttered. “You’re solvent.”

“Single, sane and
solvent?
” He sounded amused. “That’s all it takes? That doesn’t sound like a very high bar.”

“In Manhattan, you’d be surprised,” Frankie said darkly. “All I’m saying is, if you’re interested in someone, there
shouldn’t be a problem. A million women would jump at the thought of having you in their lives.”

There was a pause as Matt scanned the skyline. “I don’t want a million women. I want one woman, and she’s scared of relationships. She’s not good at trusting, so I’m taking it slowly.”

Something in his tone made her glance at him sharply, but he’d slid the sunglasses back onto his nose and she could no longer see his eyes.

Frankie was confused.

Surely he wasn’t saying—?

He didn’t mean—?

A delicious, terrifying excitement ripped through her. She went from envy to euphoria. She was filled with an equal amount of joy and heat. Matt was interested in her.
Her. She
was the woman. The thought made her dizzy with elation. Her palms felt sticky and her heart pounded like drums in a rock band. And then it dawned on her that if he knew she was interested and he was also interested, the next logical step would be to take things to the next level. That would be what he was expecting. That was what normal people did, wasn’t it? That was the reason he was telling her how he felt. And if they took things to the next level—

Reality poked its way through the joy, puncturing her elation like a needle pressed against a child’s balloon.

Euphoria gave way to pure panic.

“On second thought, forget it. You want to stay away from relationships that are complicated.” She was stammering, tripping over her words.
Stay away from me.
“It’s too much trouble. Seriously, Matt, don’t go there.”

Admiring someone from a safe distance was one thing. When you thought they weren’t interested and that it could
never go anywhere, it was a safe hobby. But this—this was different. It was like admiring a tiger in a zoo and suddenly realizing that someone had removed the glass between you. There was nothing stopping his coming close.

Up until this moment she’d had no real idea that Matt was interested in her, but now she knew that he was, it changed everything.

It made the impossible possible and she found the possible terrifying.

“I’ve never been afraid of complicated, Frankie. I’ve never been the kind of guy who thinks something worth having has to be easy to get.”

“Well, you should be afraid.”
Breathe, Frankie. In and out. In and out.
“Complicated is bad. If it’s complicated, maybe you should rethink. You deserve to find someone special. A nice, dependable, uncomplicated, sweet girl who isn’t going to mess you around.” She articulated each word carefully, her tone transmitting the message
and that’s not me.

“Frankie—”

“And talking of working on a plan, that’s what I’m doing. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

She stepped back from him, tripped over a bag of cement and virtually sprinted toward the stairs that led from the roof to the top floor of the house.

No way was she going to let this go any further, not just because she believed all relationships were doomed but because it would be impossible to get closer to Matt without his discovering all the things about herself she made a point of keeping secret.

Because he knew about the glasses, he thought he knew her. What he didn’t know was that the glasses were just the tip of the iceberg.

Roxy stood with her hands on her hips, watching Frankie bolt. “Do you have that effect on many women, boss?”

Matt swiped his hand across the back of his neck and thought about his cat. “I’m starting to think I do.”

“What did you say to her?”

“Nothing. Not a damn thing.” Well, he’d said a few things, but he’d barely gotten started.

Roxy pushed her baseball cap away from her eyes and scratched her head. “You must have said
something.
She ran as if she was being chased by a pack of zombies.”

“I have a way with women.”

“In fact, you do—” she grinned at him “—but today your natural charm obviously failed you. Maybe you should go after her, in case she falls and breaks her ankle or something. She looked seriously freaked out. She probably saw you checking out her butt.”

“I wasn’t checking out her butt.”

“You were definitely checking out her butt.”

Matt gave her a stern look. “Whatever happened to respect?”

“I have so much respect for you, boss, I don’t know where to put it.”

It was a struggle not to smile. “You could put it right here, Roxy. Right here where I can see it.”

“Hey, do you even doubt it? You gave me a job when no one else in the world would, and you helped me find childcare. You’ve got to allow a girl a bit of hero worship.”

This time he did smile. “How is the baby?”

“Stop calling her a baby. She’s two years old, Matt!”

“Are you getting any more sleep?”

“Some, but she’s awake early and ready to play. I don’t
mind. I love her so much it fills my whole chest. Even when she wakes at four in the morning and my eyelids are sealed closed and I’d sell my soul for another five minutes of sleep, I still love her. I’m reading to her lots at the moment. I found a stack of books in the thrift shop. She loves them.” She took a gulp from her water bottle. “She’d be perfect for you, boss.”

“Generally I like them a little older.”

Roxy choked. “Not Mia—Frankie. She’d be perfect.”

“Since when did you become an expert on relationships?”

“Having a really bad one gives you an advanced qualification. Almost like a college degree. You become an expert. I bet I could have letters after my name.”

“Do you have any particular letters in mind?”

Roxy grinned. “DMWM.”

“I’m not even going to ask.”

“Don’t Mess With Me. I kept it clean, because I’m a mom now and I don’t want Mia growing up hearing shit. I mean stuff. Things. I don’t want her to grow up hearing things. And I want her to know that if a relationship makes her feel bad, she should get out. She shouldn’t hang around, like I did.”

Something about the angle of Roxy’s chin prompted the question. “Has Eddy been bothering you again?”

“Since the last time you showed him the door? No.” She gave a half smile. “Man, he was terrified. His
face.
And you didn’t even touch him. You just told him to get out, and gave him a scary look. How do you do that?”

“Scary facial expressions are my party trick.” He paused. “You’re not going to get back with him?”

“Never. He doesn’t want to know Mia. What sort of man doesn’t want his own child? And he made me feel bad about
myself.” She put the top back on her water bottle. “I won’t be with a man who makes me feel bad. Life can be crap all by itself. I don’t want to invite crap into my home. And I don’t want Mia growing up seeing that kind of relationship. I want her to know she can choose something good. That she deserves it.”

Matt looked at the fierce stamp of her features and felt the same deep respect he had on the day she’d appeared at the door of his office. “You’re an impressive person, Roxanne.”

“Hey, don’t go falling in love with me, because that whole boss-employee thing never works. It’s the power thing—” She shook her head and there was a twinkle in her eye. “No. Just no.”

“I’ll try and remember that.”

“Frankie would be perfect for you. She’s supersmart. Knows all the Latin names for flowers and everything. I heard her saying them under her breath. And she’s got a great body. When did you last have a serious relationship?”

Matt stirred. “It’s been a while.”

He thought of Caroline, sobbing and wailing, begging him to forgive her, telling him it hadn’t meant anything, a moment of madness because she’d been drinking. Telling him what they shared was still there. That it wasn’t gone.

For Matt, it was gone. Maybe he could have forgiven a drunken fling. What he couldn’t forgive were the lies. She’d taken a knife and slashed through the trust they’d had. Without trust, everything was gone.

He decided it was time to end the conversation. “I have things to do. I’m leaving you in charge, Rox.”

“Me?” Her chest puffed out. “So now I’m the boss?”

“You’re the boss.”

“Do I get a raise?”

“In your dreams.” He already paid her way above the going rate for unskilled labor and they both knew it.

“But I can hire and fire?” She eyed James. “You’d better watch your step.”

James was in the process of hauling large concrete slabs. Sweat darkened his T-shirt, and his hair was plastered to his head in spikes. “I wish you would fire me. Then I could get out of this damn heat and go home.”

“Put a dollar in the swear jar.” Roxy put down the water bottle. “I’ll help you, wimp.”