Superhero Universe: Tesseracts Nineteen (2 page)

Wednesday, September 14, 1983

At school, waiting for first bell, I got out my book and read. After about twenty minutes I left my spot because of the crowd. I can’t stand it; I feel crushed by the people around me, but I don’t want it to make me transform. At lunch, in the library, I did my Special Studies homework.* Amazingly, five of the girls from my class were there! They’re almost never in the library! Even with my resolution not to repeat “the Chantal Syndrome,” I find myself daydreaming about Michelle.

*
Special Studies was where we learned superhero history. But our teacher was incredibly lame and had no idea what he was talking about. In grade 9, he became our French teacher, which he was also terrible at. I think you can understand why a bunch of us might go off on our own to try to get our superheroic education from actual superheroes.

Thursday, September 15, 1983

Last night, I once again dreamed of Michelle. God help me. This is exactly what happened with last year’s “Chantal Syndrome,” but I can’t help it. In fact, about the only thing I can do is not tell Michelle how I feel.

Let’s skip ahead to lunch hour. I was sitting quietly, doing my English homework, when a horde of guys came in, most prominent among them were Stephen, vice-president candidate, and Jimmy, his campaign manager. They were putting “Vote for Stephen” cards and stickers all over the place! They were annoying me so much, but I didn’t want to turn into the Grizzly.*

After the last bell, Michelle asked what the homework assignments were. I listed them off, just like that (sound of snapping fingers)! Michelle retorted with a friendly, “You really
are
a brain, aren’t you?” Then she asked me if we had Danger Gym the next day. I didn’t know (we did, though). Touché!

*
They weren’t annoying me on purpose. We all knew everyone’s powers and weaknesses from Religion class, and on the whole my classmates were fairly sympathetic to my condition.

Friday, September 16, 1983

Today was a strange day. I ate and went to the library to do my Math homework. But I couldn’t because the library was closed. I wouldn’t let a little thing like that stop me from doing my homework, so I got my things and went outside. I finished my Math homework and got back to reading
Our Multiverse
.* These two girls came by and started reading over my shoulder. I left immediately and found a nice cool spot to be alone, but the two girls followed me. They said they were in 9X, and that they were, respectively, the smartest girl in the world and the best athlete, and then they left. Thank goodness.** Also today, we had our photos taken. Everyone was really dolled up, but to me it was Michelle who was most beautiful. She has to wear the same bracelets all the time, because they give her her powers and she says they won’t come off, but she always makes them look different. Well, last class was English, which was just a reading period. But Brother Jakob gave us detention anyway! On the way out, I remarked to Michelle, “Sometimes I think I’ll never get used to you civvies.”*** She then said, “I’ve been a civvy all my life.” That ended the conversation.

*
Our Multiverse
was a big color hardcover with painted renditions of the home planets of all the known alien worlds, subatomic realms, weird dimensions, and alternate timelines. I was one of the rare kids in school who checked it out. Most of this material was public knowledge, but we lived in Alberta, where even history teachers could deny the Holocaust. I found out from Tyrannus, who was in high school when I met him during the third Borgni invasion, that Alberta schools taught the Parallel Earth history where the USA won the War of 1812. It just goes to show how people pick and choose the science they “believe in.”

**
This wouldn’t be my last encounter with Miss Mind and Maiden Might. There’s a stereotype of Bad Catholic School Girls, but they didn’t really fit the trope. For one thing, we didn’t have uniforms. For another, they weren’t really bad girls: they just used me as a foil to play at being supervillains while they were still in junior high (which, in Alberta, goes to grade 9). They ditched their careers right after the Think Tank tried to recruit them. They went off to high school, and I never saw them again. Which I still kind of regret. But being a teenage weregrizzly, and a Catholic one at that, meant reining everything in.

*** The civilian world is called Civvy Street by military folk. As I found out later, certain super-types use the word “civilian” like carnies used the word “rube.”

Monday, September 19, 1983

After lunch today, we had a special “Powers and the Law” class.* The best part was that we missed Special Studies! Hurray! One of the high points of the day was talking to Michelle. I think we’re really opening up a line of communication, which is good. I seem to be able to make her laugh fairly easily. After “Powers and the Law,” I again joked with Shel — that’s what I call her now — about civvies, at which she and Beth laughed. I really think that Shel and I are gonna be at least good friends.

* This was just before Mulroney created his agency to monitor all of the superheroes and split the Action Gang into East and West, basically forcing the team to open a Calgary HQ. We never had anything like the US Mutant Registration Act in Canada, but we didn’t need to. The Mounties had files on all of us, using laws that went back to the Communist witch-hunt and World War One, when “aliens” meant Eastern Europeans. The next year, when I got the invitation from the Action Gang join the A. G. West, I never for a second questioned how they got my phone number. I assumed it was either because they were superheroes or because I had a military family, or a little of both.

Tuesday, September 20, 1983

We held a special Mass to start the year.* Boy, some of these guys are really rude. Nick and Jeff were bugging each other when they were doing the Readings. Talk about idiots! It was even the parable of the sower, where Jesus says, “Whoever has ears to hear ought to hear.” All afternoon I was bored, except during Danger Gym, which was fun.

* Notre Dame Cathedral was just down 18th Avenue SW from us, separating Notre Dame Junior and Senior. Notre Dame Senior High was a completely normal school. The entire “X” class was being phased out: in 1983-84, 7X was gone, and we would be the last special students at Notre Dame. Either they were phasing out the program because the teachers were so awful or they gave us the worst teachers because they were cancelling the program.

Wednesday, September 21, 1983

In Language Arts class, I noticed Michelle repeatedly staring at me. This continued through to lunchtime. She was staring at me! I don’t believe it!

Thursday, September 22, 1983

At lunch, as usual, I went to the library. Michelle was, strangely enough, also in the library. Miracle! Miracle! I couldn’t believe it. I was shaken. I was stunned.

For a
while I thought she was eyeing Brad, but that was just paranoia. After gym class, Shel talked with Jimmy. But the expression on their faces gave it away. They didn’t look so happy-go-lucky, as they usually did. They se
emed dead serious, something I’d never seen in either of them. I deduced that Michelle likes Jimmy. What else could it be? It sure makes me feel rotten, especially with the dance next Friday.

Friday, September 23, 1983

We had to change places in Special Studies class. The move put me even further away from Michelle, but I can feel her slipping away anyhow.

Saturday, September 24, 1983

This morning, I took off with my friend Ron for Chinook Mall. Boy, is it ever big! It seems to be even bigger than Northwood back in Edmonchuk! When we were done shopping, we noticed a bus at the stop. We ran to catch it, but it left without us. We were fuming mad! We decided to walk home. On the way, we passed another bus stop. I know the routes, so I coaxed Ron into waiting to grab this bus. It took us up to Eaton’s on 8th Ave. My plan was to take my regular bus home from downtown. Ron followed, reluctantly. But we ran into the Grey Goliath!

The Grey Goliath was a bank robber who could become a giant made of stone. There was no way the normal police could capture him! Ron whined and tried to get me to run away and go home, but I had to help the police. So I got him to hold my records and my glasses and I thought hard about how much I hate people who whine and run away, so I turned into the Grizzly!

We had a pretty big fight, but I won. Good thing I remembered some of the moves from Danger Gym! I don’t think there was too much damage, and nobody got hurt (except for the bad guy), and the police were really nice to me. I wanted to turn back into Patrick, so I sang to myself. That calmed me down, and I turned back.

The police took me and Ron home. Ron was frazzled by the experience, and I had missed my choir practice. It’s a good thing my dad’s not the type to ground first and ask questions later.

Monday, September 26, 1983

The jig’s up! Someone finally figured out the Michelle connection! What shocks me most is that it was that idiot dumyuk Tony who guessed! The scene: our school library. I walked over to Michelle and asked her to explain why she’d been mocking me by using fancy vocabulary whenever she talked with me. Ol’ barnacle-brain there* said to me, “You like Michelle, eh?” I wanted to kill him, but what he said next
really
enraged me. Quote: “Hey, Michelle, Patrick likes you!” I said that was ridiculous. Then, Tuyen started ribbing me, too, but he stopped after I asked him to.** After lunch period, I became very self-conscious: did she really suspect the truth? Does she like me? Did Tony blab to anybody else? Who? What? When? Where? How? Aagghh! I’m going nutso! Now I have to tell her how I really feel, maybe this week.

*
This is in reference to Tony’s aquatic powers.

** Tuyen, being a telepath, knew everything, but he was a nice guy and very calm and collected for his age. I think his immigrant background helped him: he’d been trying to pass as a normal Canadian kid since he got off the boat from Vietnam when he was five.

Wednesday, November 16, 1983

It’s been quite a while since I wrote last, but here’s a quick rundown: at the Halloween Dance I very nearly broke down, but Stephen helped me out.

I’ve been having a hard time controlling my transformations into the Grizzly. It often happens in the mornings, when I’m fighting with my bratty youngest brother to get him out the door. My parents both work, so I’m responsible for the morning routine. I can’t talk to my parents about it: they just tell me I have to get my act together, since we can’t afford to be constantly buying me new clothes. We talk about our powers in Religion and Special Studies class, but it’s usually about not using them or making sure no one knows we have them. Most weeks recently have been the same. On Saturdays, I head to the comics shop in Bridgeland, then go downtown to the library or the 8th Avenue Mall or the Devonian Gardens. On Sundays, it’s church, where I sing in the choir, and chores and babysitting.

The rest of the time, there’s school. That first dance wasn’t bad. Miss Mind and Maiden Might from 9X asked me to dance with them and their friends, and one of the girls in class taught me the Time Warp.

And then there was the Halloween Dance. It had a ‘50s theme: for example, skirts with construction-paper poodles. I didn’t have a costume, but I did have a mission. “The Chantal Syndrome” was all about a girl I liked in grade 7, who was really friendly and sweet with me until I told her my feelings and she turned ice-cold. I didn’t want this to happen with Shel. I still hadn’t seen her with a boyfriend, and we’d once run into each other downtown as superheroes, chasing a guy called the Green Dragon through Chinatown. Her bracelets gave her power blasts, so she called herself Blast, but I thought Quanta was a better name, and she adopted it. I thought that, if Grizzly and Quanta made a pretty good team, so could Patrick and Michelle. I really built it up in my mind.

Notre Dame has two gyms: Danger Gym is in a separate building across the street, but the normal gym is on the second floor of the school, where we have our assemblies and air bands and dances. I spotted Michelle as soon as I walked in. She was with the other girls from our class; the guys were all clustered together further down, with Miss Mind and the 9X girls across the dance floor on the other side.

I spent quite a while not dancing and chatting with Tuyen and Robert. Rob was starting to find the idea of being a real superhero very cool, mostly because you could beat people up if they were bad guys. I was sort of trying to ignore him and talk to him at the same time, to distract myself while I was doing reconnaissance on Michelle. I had decided that I was going to tell Michelle how I felt. But I had to wait for just the right moment. I had to be sure that she wasn’t dancing with anyone else.

Finally, I decided to make my move. To keep myself calm, I hummed under my breath. I went over to where she was sitting, with Beth and the twins. She was gorgeous when she was laughing. I’d never known anyone more beautiful to me. She looked up at me and smiled. And I asked her to dance.

She kind of hiccupped a laugh and shot a wide-eyed look at Beth, who shot back a sideways
You’re on your own— I told you this would happen
glance. Then she and the twins gave Michelle some space. Beth was a precog, so I guess she had told Michelle what would happen, because Michelle’s reaction looked like she’d been practicing it. She closed her grey eyes and, still smiling, shook her head. “Thanks, but I don’t think so,” she said politely. Then she turned away.

I walked back to Robert and the guys, like a robot in ‘50s B-movies. My legs were stiff, my feet were too big. Then I started crying. First, a trickle. Then a torrent. I needed a bigger body just to contain the heartbreak and rage. I began my transformation into the Grizzly.

Even as I was changing, I remember being angry and then feeling guilty for being angry: angry at being so stupid and clearly missing some obvious signal; at setting myself up the way I always did for rejection and pain; at hoping that someone would see past my scrawniness, thick glasses, and crooked teeth and just take me for who I really was; at having so many feelings and not being able to just be normal for once; at scaring all these ordinary kids who just wanted to go to a junior high dance; at not being able to stop at my transitional form the way I’ve recently figured out; at the knowledge that I was the Grizzly, that the Grizzly was my true, deep-down self— a shaggy mountain beast that was realer than I could ever allow Patrick to be, and the Grizzly roared to life under that mirrorball while Michael Jackson’s “Human Nature” faded out.