Surge (76 page)

“Are you serious?” Danny asks cautiously.

I nod as I wiggle my fingers still held out in front of him. I would have tried for a friendly smile, but I think that it might come off as more of a shark baring its teeth to Danny, so I hold off on that and wait for him to either accept my apology, curse me out, or hit me like I deserve. But Danny’s obviously the better man that I’m trying to be, so he stands to his full 5’11” and accepts the offer with a firm handshake.

“You’re welcome,” he says.

“Maybe you could train Sarah in knife training?” I propose. “I’ve seen your skills, and you’re not half bad. I’d even go so far as to say you’re better than John and Oscar.” I hear the two men make noises of offense behind me, but it’s true.

“Really?” Danny asks with a boyish grin that reveals his youth. I nod and almost get plowed over by his excited hug. I pat his back awkwardly, just because I might be all touchy feely with the girls, doesn’t mean that I want dudes feeling up on me. Danny must feel my tension, because he pulls back and shrugs it off as it never happened. “I mean, yeah that’s cool, I could definitely teach Sarah a few tricks.”

“There’s room in the basement,” I offer and follow his example of ignoring the awkwardness. “You know, where I’ve been training with Olivia?”

“Yeah, she teach you anything new?” Danny asks. Everyone knows that we’ve been training, but they figured she’s been teaching me stuff, not the other way around. Which she kind of is, since Olivia’s teaching me how to live, more than just survive; so I shrug at Danny.

“Mostly just practicing,” I answer. “I’m sure that once she’s healed up, she’ll get back to teaching lessons.”

“Cool,” Danny says with a nod, before looking at Sarah. “You wanna start now?”

“Hells yes!” Sarah exclaims and nearly tosses Morris out her way as she stands. The cat lets loose a loud howl of protest when he bounces out of a sound sleep on the couch. Seeing her distraught pet, Sarah crouches down and rubs the white fur underneath his chin. “Sorry, Mors, I’ll bring you to visit Auntie Liv in a little while. Mommy’s gotta go to school now.”

“‘
Auntie Liv?’
” I ask with raised eyebrows. Sarah looks at me like I’m dumb.

“You love her, so that makes her Morris’s aunt,” Sarah answers easily. My eyes bug out, and I glance around to make sure that my tiny Tomb Raider isn’t lurking the shadows listening to Sarah spout off something as groundbreaking as that, as if it were nothing more than a weather report.

“Keep it down, Jesus, Rah-rah,” I whisper sharply.

“Why, it’s true,” she insists.

“Yeah, but she doesn’t know that,” I hiss.

“Why the hell not?” Sarah demands and plants her fists on her hips. “Are you planning on making an honest woman out of her, or are you going to treat her like you did Victoria, or John did the girls?” If my eyes could have popped completely out of my head, it would have been right there. “Don’t look at me like that, you either, Jon-Jon. I’m sixteen, not four, so I did have Sex Ed, and
‘the talk’
with Mom and Dad. Not to mention that neither of you were quiet about it.
‘OMG!’ ‘Harder Jonathan!’ ‘You like that, baby?’ ‘Yes!’ ‘Right there, you big sexy man!’ ‘Fuuuuck’
” I think I might puke from hearing Sarah’s realistic imitations of Chelsea, Kelly, John, Marissa, Victoria and my own orgasms, but she isn’t done there.

“I had to bury myself under a mound of pillows every single night just to try and drown out the sound of creaking bed frames, screams and moaning that was coming through the walls. And I still couldn’t even fall asleep, until you finished making your racket, and quit your mating calls!”

Oh my god, I think I might die of embarrassment. I look away from my little sister’s knowing look, to see how John’s taking it. John’s entire face is flushed, from his neck to the tips of his ears, and all the way up into his blonde hairline. The twins are laughing hysterically, but I ignore it as I try to grasp at straws and gain some kind of control over this train wreck of a conversation. An entire year of abstinence out of fear of being caught by Sarah was not for nothing, and all my hard work was spoiled within hours of meeting that fucking red head. God, I hope that slut is rotting in hell right now. Shaking my head, I clear my throat, and adopt my fatherly tone.

“That’s grown up stuff,” I begin and Sarah joins the twins in their laughing fit. “Besides, we’re men, and we have urges that you know nothing about, right Danny?” Danny looks a little stunned to be dragged into this conversation, but he recovers quickly.

“Absolutely,” he agrees easily. “Sarah and I have chastity rings and everything. We barely hold hands, and we’ve never even kissed.”

Such a bull shit answer, but I’ll let him live. After all, it would be rather hypocritical of me to kill him for doing something as natural as having sex. And I’m not delusional enough to believe that Sarah has been dating the same guy for six months, living in close quarters with him for that entire time; while having nothing else to do but play board games, and still be a naive virgin. I mean, I didn’t have half of that shit stacked against me, and I was already having sex for over a year by the time I was Sarah’s age.

And Danny’s a dude, so I know for a fact that he’s getting it from somewhere, either manually or from some other source that I don’t want to know anything about. Besides, they’re obviously using some form of safe sex since Sarah’s not knocked up, and it better stay that way. So as long as Sarah isn’t hurt or impregnated, I’ll pretend that it doesn’t exist. And I better not see any evidence of that shit or I’ll go blind.

“You remember my warnings?” I ask Danny. He gulps, but nods his head. Sarah witnesses the exchange, and looks between us with squinted eyes as if she’s trying to figure out what the hell I’m talking about that has Danny shaking in his size tens. “Nothing for you to worry about, Rah-rah, just some guy talk. But we’re done now, so how about you take your boyfriend downstairs and go learn something?”

“I don’t believe you for a second, Jarry, but I want to be taught more than sit here and argue with you, so I’ll let it slide for now,” Sarah warns. “Come on, Danny, we have some knives to throw.”

Sarah grabs hold of Danny, who willingly follows her out of the room and toward the basement, all while holding her hand. Which proves Danny’s bull shit lie for what it is, barely hold hands, my burned ass. Turning away from the door they disappeared from, I run a hand down my face in an attempt to try and erase the entirety of that whole exchange. After removing my hand, I see that the twins are still laughing, and John has since recovered from his embarrassment; so his face is no longer tomato red. I cross my arms, and stare at the identical assholes finding my traumatic plight hysterical.

“I take it that you two didn’t have a sister,” I say.

“Nope, it was just us,” Oscar confirms.

“We were more than enough for our mama to handle,” Carlos adds. “She was always worrying about us spreading our seed throughout the neighborhood like a pair unneutered dogs, just like our scoundrel of a daddy.”

“Which we did,” Oscar grins unrepentantly.

“But we were much more careful with our equipment,” Carlos says with a smirk. “We didn’t want to pause our marathon of fucks to get prescriptions for chlamydia or pampers.”

“Wrap it and tap it, that’s what I always say,” John remarks and the three share a smile. “My dick never met a pussy without a glove to catch the baby batter.”

“I’m sorry,” I begin. “But I absolutely cannot, and will not, contribute to a conversation about the attributes of safe sex, or the pleasures of fucking, since this was all started by Sarah, and that’s just disturbing.”

John grimaces as if he just remembered that it was Sarah’s calling us out on our promiscuity that opened this line of discussion to begin with. I’m perfectly fine with talking about sex of any kind. Be that oral, vaginal, anal, missionary, doggy style, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, follatio, cunnilingus, 69, I don’t care because I fucking love sex! Men have it on their brains 99.98% of the time, so it’s only natural that when you throw us together, the conversation is most definitely going to center around that one topic. We compare notes, swap stories about our greatest conquests, see who likes what body part most and why, and talk about our favorite positions and the benefits of each; it’s just what we do. And I would be more than happy to have this conversation at any other time, but not after having Sarah be the instigator.

I know that she’s either having sex in some fashion or will someday, but I do not, nor will I ever be able to connect sex to my baby sister. By the time Sarah’s in her forties and pops out a litter of brats for me to spoil, I’ll be entirely convinced that a stork left them on her doorstep. I’ll pretend the burgeoning stomach is nothing more than a new fashion statement where you shove a pillow underneath your shirt. And if the kids just so happen to look like their bastard of a father, I’ll chuckle and say,
‘What are the odds that huge ass bird just so happened to have a matching set of tiny tykes to drop off that look just like you, so-and-so.’
Then I’ll ignore Sarah and her husband’s confused looks, and go about my ignorant existence with a goofy grin plastered on my crazed face. But since I don’t have to worry about any of that shit for years and years to come; and hopefully I’ll have Olivia’s hand to hold through the traumatic ordeal of Sarah growing up, I turn back to the present.

“As much as I love the topic matter at hand, I have to agree with Jared,” John says and he’s still a little green about the gills. “I can’t continue talking about my favorite pastime just after hearing my baby sister’s rendition of an orgasm, without wanting to vomit. Come back in about an hour and we’ll be able to start it up again, but right now, I’m going to go to the kitchen and carve out my ear drums out with a butter knife in hopes of removing that horrific sound from echoing in my ears.”

“I’m right behind you,” I tell him. John pauses in his forward movement toward the exit, to look at me questioningly. “I was supposed to be down here cooking something for Olivia to eat, but I got a little sidetracked because I’m a neglectful prick.”

“I could always cook something for her,” John offers.

“Fuck no!” The twins and I exclaim in unison.

“Are you trying to kill her?” Carlos asks.

“Yeah, she’s starting to recover, why the fuck would you want to waylay her with something else?” Oscar asks.

“Come on, guys, I’m not that bad,” he counters. Three sets of eyes peer at John as if he’s nuts. “Fine, am I worse than Kelly?”

“Hell no,” I retort. “But you definitely are no prized chef either.”

“What if I help you?” John proposes. “You know that if you tell me what to do, I’m alright. It’s when I’m left to my own devices, that I screw up.”

“Alright,” I say. “You can help.”

“And then I can go feed my girl some food,” John adds.

“How exactly is she
‘your girl’
?” I ask with a scowl. John grins at me and laughs along with the twins. My scowl turns fiercer as the seconds tick by.

“I’m sorry, but you should see your face right now,” John says and wipes his eyes. “It’s freaking priceless, and your new found jealousy never gets old.”

“Assholes,” I mutter.

I flip them off as I walk out, which only makes them laugh harder. Ignoring the pricks for being, well, for being pricks, I continue on to the kitchen. Whitney’s sitting at the table drinking coffee with Mike and Akio, so I pass them a wave as I head to the pantry. I know that it has to some form of soup, but what I need to figure out is how to add some much needed calories in for Olivia to consume. Digging through the shelves stocked with a variety of goods, I still have no idea what to do. There are plenty of cans of broth, from chicken to beef and vegetable, so there’s no shortage of flavors, but what the fuck could I add to it?

“Looking for something in particular?” Whitney asks. I look up from my position on the floor, surrounded by cans and boxes and scratching the left side of my head since I didn’t feel like picking scabs.

“I don’t know,” I admit. “I have no idea what Olivia needs besides calories, and it has to watery, so what the hell should I make? I’m lost.”

“How about a puree?” Whitney proposes. “You could thin it out as much as you need to, and add whatever you want to it.”

“How?” I ask helplessly. “I can make soup, you just throw it in a pot and leave it, but that’s pretty much it.” Whitney offers me a hand and pulls me up.

“Come on, I’ll help you.”

Whitney points at different ingredients for me to carry, so I grab them and follow after her. Most of the ingredients are stuff I would throw into a soup, so whatever it is we wind up with, should taste alright. Knowing Whitney wouldn’t steer me wrong, I pass her the reins and hold on for the ride.

<~~~<~~~
~~~>~~~
>

“So, what do you think?”

Olivia has her eyes closed as she takes a bite of the puree I prepared with Whitney. It looked like baby mush to me, so I tried some and I thought it was pretty damn good; but I’m waiting with bated breath, hoping that Olivia approves and will be able to eat a good portion of it. I made sure that the consistency was right by mashing a bowl of vegetables and adding broth to thin it out, so she should be able to eat this without difficulty, as long as she finds the flavoring alright. Opening her eyes, Olivia gives me a smile and a thumbs up. I release the breath I was holding.