Surrender My Love (7 page)

“I a
lready told you that I can’t go. I can’t afford it.”

“Look, you have no excuse. There’re no extra shifts that night. Come on out with us! You’re a young
, beautiful girl. Stop being such an old woman!”

Chloe’s hand hesitated as she reached for
her locker door, the familiar words resonating through her brain, banging against her conscience.
I am so tired of being called that!
Just because she was responsible and didn’t party like her friends did, it didn’t mean she was old. She had a lot on her plate. She sighed, fatigue and a strange melancholy washing over her.

“Come on…”
Susan cajoled.

She
chewed on her bottom lip. Her mother did have an aide for Saturday night. And she hadn’t been out in a long time. Maybe socializing with some friends was exactly what she needed to take her mind off her problems…and other things, like the handsome Dr. Brad Markson. She turned to Susan and eyed her skeptically.

“You sure you didn’
t pay for those?”

“Well,
depends on what you call
pay
. My jaw still hurts if that counts.”

Chloe’s eyes rounded in shock and
Susan laughed heartily.

“
I had a lunch date with Freddie today—you know, the guy I’ve been seeing. He works for the owner of Silo. He got me the passes with some…
persuasion
. And don’t look so shocked. The passes came with a bonus. I got the better end of that deal.” She winked again.

“
Susan, you’re crazy!” Chloe laughed.

“
I’m not. You’re just such a goodie-two-shoes! Will you come?”

“How can I say no after
the lengths you went through?” She grinned at her friend.

By Thursday
morning, Chloe was regretting her decision to go out. It was six a.m. and she was hunched over her last chart, writing notes at the nurse’s station. Most records were electronic, but the hospital still insisted on some handwritten documentation. The previous day, she’d been reconciling her bank accounts and realized that Richard had been siphoning more money than she’d assumed. She knew he’d been taking small sums for food and other necessities, but according to the account statement he’d withdrawn over a thousand dollars in the last month.

Chloe sighed deeply and squeezed her tired eyes shut, praying that her brother wasn’t in trouble again. Two years ago he’d been in rehab for cocaine addiction. It had been a downward spiral that had torn their small family apart.
Following that, her mother had had her devastating accident and Chloe’s life had been forever altered. She’d have to keep a close eye on Richard.

To make matters worse, he’d exploded yesterday when he found out she’d taken his name off the account. Now he had to go through her if he wanted to withdraw funds.

He’d lashed out in a caustic rant,
assailing her with debasing names, calling her a prudish hag, a bitch, a spinster, and other epithets that broke her heart! He knew her vulnerable spot, and that was where he shot his barbs. He seemed to take great pleasure in reminding her of her ravaging heartbreak and embarrassment three years ago.

She
’d been jilted, left at the altar in a flowing white wedding gown. She’d been excited to start a life with the man she loved, but it was never meant to be.

Later
, when she’d confronted her fiancé Jack, when her heart had plummeted to immeasurable depths of despair, he’d said that he’d changed his mind. He’d realized they’d be no good together, that she wasn’t really his type, and that he didn’t love her. He’d come to those realizations an hour before their wedding. The horrible memory was as clear and tangible as though it had occurred yesterday. The scars were crusted over, but the wounds still throbbed as a painful reminder that she hadn’t been good enough.

She’d been cast aside like rubbish discovered at the back of a closet. Jack had decided to start a new life and it didn’t include her. Shortly after their breakup, he’d packed up and moved across the country, leaving behind the so-called garbage in his life in search of what he termed, ‘better things’. Chloe had been left to pick up the shattered pieces of her heart and soon after, her broken family. Thankfully, that had been before WMH. None of her friends here knew about that shameful day.

Richard predicted
that she’d be alone forever and taunted that the reason she didn’t have a boyfriend, and hadn’t had one since Jack was because she was repulsive.

Repulsive
. Chloe turned the word over in her mind. Unattractive would have been a gentler word. ‘Repulsive’ made her feel unlovable. He’d been unkind with his assessment of her life and it was all Chloe could do not to release a fresh rush of tears. She loved her brother and still saw the little boy who cried in the dark for a father he never knew and a mother whose heart was too broken to love him. She knew that his sudden eruptions of anger were his way of coping with their mother’s illness. But even with that rationalization, his words still sliced through her like sharp swords, cutting through a self-esteem that was already fragile.

Jack had been her first and only lover, and she had planned to spend the rest of her life with him. He’d been a sort of salvation for her. After her father’s death, she’d had little time to think of herself. There’d been no dating, no proms, and no sweet-sixteens. Jack had come along, like a knight in shining armor, telling her she was pretty and promising her the world. For the first time in her life, she wasn’t a sister, or a daughter, or a care-giver.  She was a
woman
, and she was completely unaware of how or when it had occurred. Life had been a moving train, and although she’d ridden along, she’d never gotten off at any of the stops, never taken time to explore the scenery, or simply lay in a field and soak in the landscape.

Getting Jack’s attention had been like stepping into the sun after a long, dull, winter.
But she soon realized that for her the seasons never change. The heavy coat of responsibility and independence that she’d always worn helped her to persevere, and she continued to manage the priorities of her family. Priorities that didn’t include going out on Saturday night.

Her head popped up when
Susan rushed by in a panic, scattering her thoughts.

“Is everything okay?” Chloe inquired, rising from her seat.

Susan, whose face usually wore a sarcastic grin, now regarded her with frightening alarm.

“They
’re coming!”

“Who?” Justin,
a male nurse who had been nearby, came to stand beside Chloe.

Susan
took a deep breath. “The surgical team is making rounds!”

“What? It’s too early! They don’t usually come fo
r an hour and a half—after we’re gone!”  Justin’s eyes bulged in disbelief.

“I saw them
. They’re making their way over here. Dr. Markson’s team.”

“Oh,
fuck!”

Chloe’s eyebrows shot up as she watched Justin race away to make sure all was in order with his patients.

“I haven’t even finished my damn notes, or calculated my intakes and outputs!” Susan darted around the station, hastily plucking charts from the rack.

“I—I
’m sure everything will be fine,” Chloe stated, feeling the hairs on the back of her neck stand and salute.

He’
s coming.

“Easy for you to say. I’m sure you’re finished with all your work!”

Before Chloe could respond, she heard the sharp pounding of shoes and the rustling of clothes stirring a wave through the hall, shifting the air and heralding the army of approaching doctors.

She turne
d and froze as she saw Dr. Markson stalking towards them, a gaggle of residents and medical students clad in white lab coats following behind like dutiful minions. He towered over the swarm, clearly in charge. He’d already been into two patients’ rooms and would not be approaching them unless something was amiss. Goose bumps lined up along her skin, and she felt a rush of breath leave her lungs when he stopped not five feet away from her.

His midnight gaze scanned the nurse’s station
, and she noticed with crushing disappointment, that it coolly moved right over her. She was wearing a knee-length nurse’s dress and her hair was tied back in a ponytail. She subconsciously brushed a palm at her temple, pushing back loose wisps of hair.
Had he not noticed her?
Did he not remember her from his office two days prior? Chloe chastised herself for the disappointment that cobbled in her chest, weighing heavy like rough stone. She should be happy that he’d not taken notice of her, especially after the fool she’d made of herself in his office.

Am I
so plain that I melt into the background? Do I not even make a blip on his radar?

He opened his mouth and
, five seconds later, she was counting her blessings.

“Which nurse has my patient
in room 421?” Dr. Markson demanded.

He addressed
Susan, who’d been trying to conceal herself behind the chart rack. Upon hearing the question, Susan inched out of her hiding place, acknowledged that she was the nurse he sought, and took two tentative steps towards the intimidating figure.

Chloe watched him skewer
Susan with an angry gaze. She couldn’t help but notice that his hair looked damp at the temples and he was freshly shaven.
What is he doing here so early?

Susan paled, nervous as she stared wide-eyed.

“Did you not notice that Mr. Hall has NPO orders? He is not supposed to eat!” he barked.

Susan looked confused. “Yes. I know that.”

“Then why is there half eaten food at his bedside?”

Chloe swallowed nervously. Susan looked like she was about to pass out. Mr. Hall’s family was always bringing him food and although he’d had orders not to eat, it was possible he’d snuck a few bites of something.

“I’m s
orry. I didn’t know he had food,” Susan mumbled.

“Sorry?
Sorry!”
Dr. Markson’s voice boomed and Chloe shrunk back along with the rest of his swarm. The air crackled with his anger. “He’s scheduled for cardiac testing in a few hours that will now have to be postponed! And that’s because you could not ensure that my orders were carried out! Next time, I caution you to be more vigilant in your duties, nurse, or perhaps it may be to your benefit to repeat nursing school!”   

At that
, he pivoted and marched down the hall, his minions following.

S
usan expelled a great gust of air, her brown eyes seething with anger. Chloe walked over and wrapped her arms around her thin shoulders.

“Are you okay?”

“I hate that man.”

Chloe swiveled her head in the direction the doctors had taken.

“He didn’t have to yell.”

Susan
sighed heavily. “He
was
right, though. I should have watched Mr. Hall more closely. He’s always sneaking food.”

“Is he gone?” Paul walked into the nurse’s station.

“Yeah, thank God,” Chloe said.

“Well, I better ma
ke sure Mr. Hall hasn’t squirreled away a five course meal.” Susan made a face and took off towards her patient’s room. “I once found a cupcake hidden under his gown!”

“I don’t
think that was a cupcake!” Justin joked after her.

Chloe ignored him, her
gaze returning down the hall. She felt sorry her friend had suffered Dr. Markson’s anger, but again couldn’t help the heaviness sinking into her chest.

Not even a blink of an eye
, or a twitch of recognition.

Chloe was
at her locker, packing away her stethoscope and books, getting ready to go home, when Nurse Wall ambled into the back of the nurse’s station. Chloe silently looked away and continued packing her belongings. She always made a point to avoid the woman and up until recently had managed it successfully. She was surprised when Nurse Wall approached her, a hand on her hip. She was even more surprised when the woman shot her a tight smile. The smug expression on her face sent chills skiing down the slope of Chloe’s spine.

“You better hope that
all is in order with your notes,” Nurse Wall warned cryptically.

Chloe frowned, confused, but was in no mood to deal with her
nasty supervisor. She wanted to go home, get into bed, and pull the covers over her head. She felt miserable and just needed to block out the world for a chunk of time.

“Dr. Markson requested your patients’ charts from medical records,” her supervisor informed her, flashing a honeyed smile. Chloe saw an elated gleam swirling in her brown eyes. “He’s checking up on you. Perhaps you’re not the fabulous nurse everyone thinks you are! You can’t fool everyone, Chloe. One day everyone will see.”

Chloe star
ed after her as she walked off. She couldn’t help thinking of the evil witch in the
Wizard of Oz
, rubbing her hands together and cackling,
‘I’ll get you my pretty…’
She shuddered. ‘Witch Wall’ was an apt name.