Surviving Love (29 page)
Authors: M.S. Brannon
Zoe’s eyes fill with tears as she smiles her big, radiant smile. I continue to hold her face as the tears fall from her eyes and dampen my hands. “I love you,” she whispers.
I can’t stand it anymore. I crash my lips into hers. I kiss her like I’ve never kissed anyone before. I pour every ounce of feeling into that kiss and she does the same. We get lost in the love we’ve developed for each other. And for the first time, I actually feel like life is going to work out. I feel that, with her by my side, we can overcome and conquer the hate, betrayal and pain that comes from living.
***
Mia is quietly tucked in bed and all the party goers are either alone in their rooms or home for the night. I’ve kissed Zoe goodbye minutes ago and walked back to my room. This day has been a good one. I finally feel the possibilities my future holds, and my daughter and Zoe will be there with me every step of the way.
I walk deeper into my room and start removing my clothes. I toss the dirty ones in my laundry basket, however when I turn to my dresser to get a clean pair of basketball shorts out, I notice a letter sitting on top. Strange, I don’t remember this coming in the mail today.
Then I look at the postmark date and its dated one year after Presley’s death. The floor falls out from underneath me. I grasp onto the dresser to keep from falling. I notice the sender, and all my good feelings vanish as the anger sets in.
Jeremy Evans #815.2245
Ionia Correctional Facility
1576 W. Bluewater Highway
Ionia, MI 48846
The letter from my brother is addressed to Mia and me. I pick it up in my hands and it feels like it weighs a hundred pounds. The letter is dingy and worn on the sides, like it’s been quietly tucked away for the last couple of years. I can only guess who’s had the letter since it arrived. Reggie may think I’m ready to open it, but I’m not so sure.
I walk back to my bed and hold the one piece of my past I don’t ever want to forgive or forget. I’ve dealt with the pain of losing Presley and the guilt of the events that surrounded that night, but I don’t—in fact,
won’t
—deal with the anger I feel toward my brother. Presley is gone and there is nothing I can do about that, but Jeremy is not. He is living and breathing while Presley is gone.
I start to tremble from the onslaught of ferocity. The paper envelope is shaking in my hand. I have to start expelling deep breaths to calm myself down. Inside is the letter which imprisons his possible apology or explanation for that night. Inside this letter will mostly say how sorry he is or how bad he feels for his involvement with Presley’s death. It may even mention he’s found Jesus
and is now asking for my forgiveness.
It’s all there again. In full force—the fury I’ve kept tightly capped inside of myself is now boiling to a raging ocean that soon will explode.
I squeeze the letter, crushing it in my hand. I close my eyes and attempt to find a sentiment of peace. I search the depths of my brain to find something to bring me out of this raging inferno of hatred. I close them tighter and think of Mia, my precious daughter. The expressions on Mia’s face when she opened her gifts today and the gleeful reactions she gives me whenever I come home from work. I think about how she looks to no other to keep her safe, sing her to sleep and brush away her tears. I see my daughter’s honey-brown eyes, bouncy brown curls veiling her face and her radiant smile. She is my solace now, her and Zoe, and if I open this letter, I will have nothing but anger and hate.
My nerves are too raw. The conversation I’ve had with Presley a couple of weeks ago was enough to last me a lifetime of emotional breakdowns. I’ve only accepted the peace and I can’t read this letter and let it disturb what it has taken me two years to find.
I lay the envelope over my knee and smooth out the crinkles. Staring at the black ink for an eternity, I finally stand and tuck the letter into my dresser. I realize that someday I will need to face the anger I have toward my brother. Maybe when he gets out the day of confrontation will come, but until then, I will keep the pains of his betrayal locked away and this letter of his forgiveness trapped in my dresser. I’m not ready to forgive. Not him. Not now. Possibly, not ever. Only time will tell if I have enough of my heart left to accept his betrayal and love my brother once again.
~The End~
Surviving Love Playlist
“Black Gives Way to Blue” by Alice in Chains
“Lovesong” by Adele
“Alibi” by Thirty Seconds to Mars
“Lullaby” by Billy Joel
“Angel” by Jimi Hendrix
“Bleeding Me” by Metallica
“Bones” by Young Guns
“Send me an Angel” by Alicia Keys
“Breaking Inside” by Shinedown
“Dead & Bloated” by Stone Temple Pilots
“For You” by Staind
“Happy” by Leona Lewis
“I Just Want to Make Love to You” by Etta James
“These Arms” by Otis Redding
“Gloomy Sunday” by Billie Holiday
“Stupid Girl” by Garbage
“You” by The Pretty Reckless
“ZzyZx Rd.” by Stone Sour
“Wait” by Seven Mary Three
“Love, Reign O’er Me” by Pearl Jam
“Black” by Pearl Jam
“Let It Be Me” by Ray LaMontagne
“Love the Way You Lie” by Skylar Grey
“Master of Puppets” Metallica
“Waste My Hate” Metallica
“I Found You” by Alabama Shakes
“Call Me” by Shinedown
“Cumbersome” by Seven Mary Three
“Drive” by Ziggy Marley
“Hats Off to the Bull” Chevelle
“Left for Dead” by Citizen Cope
“Son’s Gonna Rise” by Citizen Cope
“Not Meant to Be” by Theory of a Deadman
Acknowledgements
This book would not have existed if it wasn’t for my fans that begged and pleaded to give Drake his happily ever after. I would have done it eventually, but not in this format. So I want to tell you
thank you
for making Surviving Love happen. I was hesitant on writing this book knowing I would have to tap into the agony I left behind in Tragic Love. I knew I would have to feel the gut wrenching pain Drake experienced then all the other emotions that accompany the grieving process. It wasn’t easy, but like Drake, I started to feel solace in the characters,
and by the time I was half way through, fell head over heels in love. I only hope you did the same.
I want to express a big thank you to my personal assistant, Michele, my proofreader, Georgette, street team members, beta readers and editors. You’ve all worked so hard to promote Surviving Love and I’m eternally grateful. I’m surrounded by the most amazing individuals and I could’ve asked for a greater collection of people.
Thank you to my family and friends, as well as, all those who give me the encouragement to keep writing. I love you all!
Other Books by M.S. Brannon
Sulfur Heights Series
Scarred Love
, available for purchase on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and KOBO
Tragic Love
, available for purchase on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and KOBO
Blind Love
, available for purchase on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and KOBO
Surviving Love
, available for purchase on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and KOBO
Redeemed Love
, coming in June 2014
Stand Alones
Forbidden from You, Forbidden for me
, coming in 2014