Read Surviving the Pain (A Baby Saved Me Series Book 1) Online
Authors: P. J. Belden
Ember
felt Sage’s hand clasp tightly on her own. She turned her head and looked at the man she had loved since she was a little girl. Since they started the journey to whatever it was he was showing her, she couldn’t keep her thoughts off Hudson and what could be happening. She was so drawn into herself that she hadn’t even noticed that they’d stopped and were parked in the driveway of a beautiful house.
“Where are we?”
“Come here,” Sage breathed instead of answering her question.
She climbed down from the truck, just as he reached her door. Taking her hand, she looked up at the house. It was gorgeous log cabin style. It was at least two – maybe three – stories. In front, there was a huge window that went from top to bottom. Ember could see a staircase that wound its way up through the levels. From the looks of what she saw, it seemed empty, but she was too busy looking around. The porch on the front was beautiful. It wrapped around to the side where it connected with the garage. Lights lined the railings and Ember could just picture what it’d look like at night. Suddenly, Sage picked her up in his arms and slipped a key into the door lock.
“What are you doing?” Ember squealed in fear.
“I’m carrying my wife over the threshold.” He stated plainly.
Once he stepped inside, Sage shut the door behind them and looked into Ember’s eyes. The intensity in his eyes drew her right in and soon their lips met and a slow passionate kiss filled the void between them. The heat radiated from her heart all the way down to her toes. She missed him like this. She missed the way he almost cherished her with every kiss, touch, look. Breaking from the kiss, he rested his forehead on hers, breathing rapidly.
“Welcome home, my love,” he breathed as he opened his eyes and met hers.
“H-h-home?”
Slowly, he placed her on her feet and stepped back taking her hand. “This is all ours. I bought it a month ago. The plan had been to bring both of you here for the party, and it be the start of our home together. Cray has been keeping a puppy for Hudson. I’m sure it’s driving him nuts,” he laughed. “I had all of your stuff from the apartment – that was worth moving – brought here. You have officially been living here since the day of the accident. I had your parents help decide what to take and leave.”
Tears burned her eyes before slowly falling down her cheeks as she took in everything Sage had just told her. He did this all for Hudson, for her, for their family. He led her around from room to room. To the left of the entryway was a large living area with the huge window and staircase near the corner. The rooms were basically empty, but Ember’s mind could see what would go where. A door off the vast living space was a decent sized office. Another door led to the basement that Sage said was a home gym with state of the art equipment. Instead of climbing the stairs, he took her back toward the entryway and walked to the right and she was lead right into a huge library. Ember was pretty sure her mouth was hanging open in this room. It was the only room – so far – that she saw furnished. The walls were all built in bookshelves. They were empty of course, but she could picture all the books she could collect in them. As she turned to check out all the furnishings she noticed that one section of the bookshelves had been filled.
Slowly, she made her way over there. Ember admired the plush couches, the hammock swing, there was even a day bed style window seat. This room would be her Heaven, that’s for sure. The closer she got to the bookshelf the more her heart beat. She already recognized one of the books and tears blurred her vision.
“You always talked about the books you’d like to own one day. I found what I could. We’ll slowly build the collection, but I got you the ones you talked about a lot. Then, of course, this one here,” he said as he picked up the book she recognized. “This one is the book you made me and gave to me right before I left. All the pictures of us and our big moments. Right down to the last day we were together. I’ve cherished this book. It reminded me of what I was working so hard for even when I wasn’t so sure that you’d want me back.”
“Sage,” she choked out as she turned around to look at him. “Why?” It was the only thing she could get to come out of her emotion clogged throat.
He smirked at Ember. “You just don’t get how much I love you, how much I’ve always loved you, do you?”
Somehow Ember managed to shake her head. Silent tears made their trek down her cheeks. Sage gathered her in his arms, holding her closely. Pressing a small kiss on her lips, he looked into her eyes.
“Baby, the day I saw you – that was it. You were all I wanted. When you actually talked to me, you were what I needed. Then when you loved me, you were what I craved. Nothing else in life mattered. It didn’t matter how hard my sperm donor and his buddies beat me, I had you and that was a cure for me. No matter what kind of storm raged on in my life, when I thought of you, the sun came out. Even when I left to try and make a way to build a life for us, it never changed. Your face in these pictures, they helped me stay focused and become better. There’s not a damn thing I won’t do for you, for Hudson,” he paused and placed his hand over her still flat belly. “For this little miracle. You need to believe that when I didn’t come back or wasn’t around, it wasn’t because I didn’t want to be, but because I just couldn’t at the time. You are the only place I’ve ever wanted to be.”
A sob jerked Ember’s whole body as she rested her head on his chest. If she’s ever doubted his love for her, she’d have been proven wrong for doing so at that moment. Sage loved her as much as she loved him. The best part was that he loved Hudson and their new child just as much as she did. Though, her heart was still in pieces over her son. Those pieces have been strengthened by Sage and his ability to see right through her bullshit and know that she was falling into herself.
Pulling back, she looked up at Sage as she framed his face in her hands. She looked long and hard into his eyes before rising up on her toes and kissing him with all the love she felt deep in her soul. His arms tightened around her and the kiss deepened quickly. His hands moved up and down her back, and a moan of pure pleasure slipped from her mouth to be swallowed by his. Slowly he moved them backwards until she felt some surface behind her knees. Sage, slowly, lowered her down onto the daybed. One of his hands ran up her side as the other propped him above her. Her whole body hummed with awareness.
After a moment, he broke the kiss and removed her shirt and his. Sage quickly removed her bra and stared down at her. The wonderment that still graced his face as he looked at her naked made her heart soar. No man has ever made her feel the way she does just being near Sage.
“No matter how many times I see you, feel you, make love to you, I always feel like it’s a gift I’ve never opened before. Damn, I love you, Ems.”
“I love you too, Sage. Please, make love to me.” Ember wasn’t ashamed to beg him. He was all she wanted in the world. She needed a moment that the weight of the world wasn’t stabbing her in the heart with a needle, and the world watched as she slowly bled to death.
Within a few seconds, they were completely naked. Again, Sage froze above her, and he just took in her whole naked form. Sage had muscled up so much since she saw him last. It was really an incredible look on him. As he slipped between her legs, she felt her heart rate triple in speed. Soon, the head of his penis pressed at her entrance. Just the small pressure had Ember tossing her head back and moaning. Sage took advantaged of her newly positioned breasts and sucked one of her nipples into his mouth. Ember moved her hands into his hair afraid to breathe and the intensity of the pleasure stop for any reason.
On her next moan, he pushed into her. It caused her to hiss out a moan. His groan vibrated around her nipple. Sage’s movements were slow but powerful. Ember wrapped her legs around his waist and met him thrust for thrust. Each time she lifted her hips from the bed, he pushed in deeper. His pelvic bone rubbed her clit just right that soon she was flying over the edge and screaming his name as she clutched him tightly in her embrace. Sage soon followed her. He whispered her name and said how much he loved her right before his long, loud groan filled the air, and he threw his head back.
Ember watched his face fill with complete pleasure as he came undone because of her. She put that look on his face as his climax continued to rage through his body and soon she was falling over the edge again.
Sage dropped down on her, leaving Ember to almost have to fight for each breath. He was nothing but wall to wall muscle. As hard as it was to breathe, however, she loved the feel of him on her like this. As if he was reading her thoughts, he rolled to his side, pulling her into his chest.
“You’ll have to give me a moment. I need to collect my brains.” They both laughed.
Nothing felt more right than being with Sage like this. It was as all the world disappeared and all that remained were them and the love they have for each other. When they first made love, she’d thought it was because it was the first time. Ember quickly saw that it wasn’t that at all. It was just them, just the power in the connection between them, between their souls.
Several moments later, they gathered their clothes and dressed. Sage showed her around the rest of the house. There was a state of the art kitchen with everything that Ember could dream of wanting in there was there. The kitchen was opened to the dining room. It had a beautiful chandelier that hung in the center of the room. The dining room was opened to what Ember would assume would be the family room. There were sliding glass doors that led out to the back deck, and Ember was just blown away by how huge the yard was. Not only that, however, but the pool, a smaller house that stood not far off from the pool. Sage said that it was a two bedroom pool house, complete with a small kitchen and bathroom. The whole yard was fenced in. Sage stated that they had five acres of land.
They walked back inside and climbed the stairs to find six bedrooms each with their own bathrooms. The master suite was to die for. It was huge with two huge walk-in closets and an even bigger master bathroom. A huge shower, a tub that called to her and his and her vanity. Everything was just perfect. Just as she’d always dreamed of. He then led her up the stairs again. Ember was shocked to learn that there was an enormous apartment up there. Sage said it was called a mother-in-law suite. He even suggested that her parents could move in there if they wanted.
“This is just incredible Sage,” Ember said in awe for the millionth time as they headed back down to his truck to head back to the hospital.
“I’m so glad you like it, Ems. We can buy whatever furnishings that you want. I have a bunch of stuff on order for Hudson’s room. It’s been things that he’s been talking about wanting to have. Some of it is on back order, so I’m waiting for it to come in. However, you want the house, Ems. It’s yours. This will be our forever home. I want you to like it, to smile every time you walk in the door.”
“I would even if it was a rundown shack because I’d be coming home to you and our kids. No amount of dreamy house will make that any different.”
He smiled and told her how much he loved her. They held hands and talked about furnishing on the way back to the hospital. The house was a bit outside of town, but Ember was okay with that. There was too much that she was glad to be able to get away from.
Sage
shut the truck off and looked at Ember sleeping against him. She’s not slept much at all since Hudson was hurt. Neither has he if he were honest. Carefully Sage gathered her in his arms and carried her into the hospital. Before he realized it, he was walking into the hospital room that seemed to have become their temporary home. Thanks to the bigger – and not to mention private – room that his dad has gotten them, they had a twin bed in there along with a couch and a couple chairs for a little sitting area. They even had a small table to eat at as well.
As he walked through the door, everyone looked at Ember and Sage shushed everyone quietly as he walked her over to the bed and laid her down, covering her up and pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. Turning back around, he looked at his family that filled the room. He was truly blessed. There was no doubt about it.
“She loved the house. We talked about what she’d like to do with it. It has been the first time I’ve seen a real smile from her in a long time.”
“I never doubted she’d love the house son. It was exactly like she’d dreamed of.” Everett said.
“She agrees with me and wants y’all to take over with the pool house or the mother-in-law suite,” Sage chuckled at their expressions. “We both want you around more.”
Before Ember’s parents could respond the doctor walked in and looked at each person in the room before coming back to rest on Sage.
“I have the results from the tests.”
Ember
sat there and stared at the doctor. Honestly, at that point, she wasn’t even sure he’d actually said the words he’d just spoke. There were so many things that came to mind as his words registered in her head. Numbness took over her as she looked up to Sage. His focus was on the doctor, but she watched as tears fell down his cheeks. The more the doctor talked the harder it was for Ember to comprehend anything. Her head began to spin and without realizing it everything around her dimmed and gave out.
Sage
felt Ember fill with disbelief as the doctor continued to tell us everything they’d found out. He could feel her eyes on him. Hell, Sage was trying to understand everything himself. The minute her body went limp, he felt it and grabbed her before she could fall to the floor. Scooping her up in his arms, he carried her to the bed across the room.
The doctor moved him out of the way and began to check on Ember. Sage wanted to grab him by the throat for touching her, but he knew that he was just trying to do his job. His eyes kept bouncing between his son and his soon to be wife. Both needed him to cure them, and he couldn’t help either of them. He was helpless. He was hopeless. Without Hudson or Ember, he had no hope. Ember was just overwhelmed with what was going on with their son. He just… Sage didn’t get to finish his thoughts because things went from bad to worse as the doctor’s voice broke into his thoughts.
“Press the emergency button!”
Sage’s mouth dropped open as he watched the doctor pumping on Ember’s chest. He was frozen, couldn’t move, think, speak, nothing. Soon, a loud buzzing noise filled the room and over an intercom a voice was calling out, ‘
Code Blue Room 731. Code Blue Room 731.’
Suddenly the room was filling with people and Sage was yanked out into the hall by his brother Creighton. The minute the door shut, Sage hit his knees. Tears fell faster, and he realized he was damn close to losing everything that mattered to him in this world. If he lost both of them, he’d be better off dead.
“You have to be strong,” Zee’s voice broke into his misery.
Snapping his head up to look her in the eyes, Sage glared at her. “Be strong! Be strong!” He roared in anger. “The two people I love most are on the other side of that fucking door! I can’t save either of them. We were going to have another baby,” he ended sadly.
Everett and Kimberly knelt down in front of him and placed their hands on his shoulders. Sage couldn’t even meet their eyes. If he’d never come around, if he’d just stayed away, Ember and Hudson would be okay right now.
“If I wasn’t so fucking selfish and only thought of my heart and my dreams…” he shook his head as the tears fell faster.
“Do you honestly believe that Ember would be better off without the only man she ever loved? Do you think Hudson would be better off without his father that would do anything in the world for him?” Everett asked.
“I just want them to be okay.” Sage’s voice was barely a whisper.
“Sage?”
He looked up and met Kimberly’s sad eyes. “Is Ember pregnant? Or were you just thinking in the future?”
“When I stormed away that day when we first got here, that was how she stopped me. Ember told me that she was pregnant, and if she had to do it alone again, she’d never forgive me.” He chuckled with no laughter in it at all. “This is what happens when people care about me.”
“No, it’s not!” A voice boomed through the hallway. Turning Sage spotted the man responsible for it and dropped his head again.
“It’s no use dad. You can try and convince me otherwise, but it won’t change that Ember coded and that Hudson may wake up, but may never be able to do more than move his eyes again.”
“Ember, what?!” He roared. “When?” Rufus asked softly as he knelt down next to his son.
“Just now.” He looked up to his true father. “I’m losing…” Sage’s voice trailed off when he saw movement over Rufus’ shoulder. His glare hardened, and he stood from the ground. Rufus turned to see what Sage was looking at and scowled.
There stood Collin and Donna smiling. “Aw, are you losing everything Sage?” Donna called.
“Always said you were a waste of space and would eventually kill all around you. What do you know, I was right.” Collin added.
Sage clenched his fists at his side. Slowly, he pushed past the people that he cared for deeply and cared for Ember just as much as he did. With each step, his body filled with more rage than he’d ever felt before.
“What the hell is wrong with you two that you have to go and hurt innocent people like this?” He growled as he continued heading down the corridor toward them.
“You did this. You took from us. We take from you. Easy as that.”
Before Sage could reach them, they were gone in the flurry of people hustling around doing whatever the fuck it was they did when a
Code Blue
was called. Right now, they caused him to miss out on making them pay for what they’d done. But just as he was ready to turn back and stand at the door, waiting impatiently for news on all he loved, he saw his ‘parents’.
“Let her go, you bastards!” Sage roared and took off running.
He shoved anyone that got in his way and pushed through the doors with so much force, they bounced off the outside wall and broke. Sage didn’t wait. He looked up and down to find which way they were dragging her.
Damn it! No one else will be hurt because of me!
With all the people moving about he couldn’t see anything.
“Who does he have?”
Sage turned to see Creighton staring daggers up and down the same area that he’d been scouring. They weren’t going to get away with this. He wouldn’t let them.
“Jada. They’ve got Jada. Fuck!” He roared helplessly when there was no further sign of them.
“Who’s Jada?” Cray asked as they headed back toward the others.
The minute they rounded the corner, Sage started yelling. “What I want to know is how the FUCK they got past security? We had all these measures in place. For what?”
“What’s going on?” Sage turned to find Holden and Aspen standing behind them.
His face hardened at the sight of the two men. “Where the fuck were you two,” he growled as he walked toward the men.
“What the hell is your problem?”
“I asked a fucking question,” he swung out and managed to knock both men against the wall with his hands to their throats. “I want a fucking answer. Where the fuck were you?”
“We were running behind. The girls came ahead of us.”
“What’s wrong, bro?”
The fear and concern mixed in their voices, but Sage barely noticed. He was so pissed at himself. It wasn’t so much the guys he was mad it. Once again, he was too slow at responding and now another life hung in the balance of the very people that were hell bent that he owed them. The only thing Sage had ever felt he owed them was a trip to the fucking grave. With his very last breath, Sage would make sure they got just that too.
“My son may never move again, my wife coded, and now my fucking bastard of parents have Jada,” he growled.
Holden shoved against Sage’s chest, catching him off guard. “Your parents have Jada! How the fuck did that happen?”
Of all that, Holden only picked up on Jada. Sure, it told him a lot about his feelings for her, but there was more going on than just Jada. Don’t get him wrong, he loved Jada like a sister and was seriously pissed he’d lost her. But before anything else could happen, the door to Ember and Hudson’s room opened and Sage rushed the doctors.
“How’s my wife? Is she okay? My son?”
“Your son is fine, sir. Your wife will recover, but,” he looked at everyone standing outside the door. “I’m sorry, sir, but she lost the baby.”
Sage shoved past the doctors, into the room and straight to his woman. She laid there in their shared bed with an oxygen thing up her nose, wires connected to a machine that showed her heart rhythm. His heart broke the more he looked at her pale, fragile frame.
“We are just going to monitor her for a little while to be sure that there are no surprises.”
He swallowed hard as he took hold of her hand. “What happened?”
“We’ve done blood work, and as soon as we get the results back, we’ll let you know. Sometimes there’s just no rhyme or reason to these things. They just happen.”
With that, the doctor patted him on his shoulder and walked from the room. Sage couldn’t take his eyes off Ember. He just needed them to be okay. The amount of apologizing that Sage needed to do was immeasurable. All he could do at this point was hope that he had a chance to try to make it up to both of them.
“I’ll make this all right somehow, I promise. Just please don’t give up. Don’t leave us.” He rested his head on the bed next to her and pulled her close to him.
Holden
tipped his head to Rufus to step outside. He wasn’t sure that there was a dry eye in that room as they all watched him beg her to forgive him for something that wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t like Sage had any control over his parents or their actions. They needed to end this, and they needed to finish it now. Holden needed to get Jada back before more of them were hurt.
“How’d they get in here?” Holden questioned the minute the door closed behind Rufus.
“I came here to discuss that with Sage and the guys.”
“Well, I think Sage needs to stay in the dark right now, don’t you think?”
“You know as well as I do if we leave him out of making them punish for what they’ve done to his family, he’d never forgive any of us. That man deserves, if nothing else, to have some satisfaction in making them pay.”
Rufus made a valid point. But right now, Sage wasn’t the only one on the verge of breaking. Holden was very close to blowing his top. Once again their conversation was interrupted by the opening of the door and all the guys walked out.
“We need to get on this shit, and now, Ru,” Ky stated firmly.
“Not another person in this group will be hurt by those bastards,” Cray growled before his face froze.
Turning Holden followed the direction he was looking and saw Bexley walking down the hallway. Smirking slightly, he realized that Cray may have just found his match in Bexley. That woman was a stubborn, bullheaded woman. It was her way or no way. Being told what to do by a man that had a need to control everything around him, like Creighton, would not be tolerated well by her. The thought nearly made him laugh until Aspen’s voice cut through his thoughts.
“Where the hell have you been?” Aspen growled. “Where’s Isa?”
“She’s with Grey. Uh,” she looked around at the angry looking men before Holden noticed her eyes widen at Cray. “Grey said that he saw some guy, I can’t remember his name, talking to Sage’s parents before letting them in and talking to security. He told me to tell you he’s following them and if you need him to track his cell or text. His phone is on vibrate.”
Holden immediately pulled out his phone and called the fucker. After several attempts, Grey finally answered.
“What fucker, I told you to text or…” Grey started to yell.
“They have Jada man! I’m calling your fucking ass since you’re following them.”
“Oh, shit! Let me call you back when I get to a spot I can talk.”
“You better,” he hissed.
Looking back at the group, he raised an eyebrow in question. “Well, what the fuck are we going to do?”