Survivor's Remorse: Brothers of Ink and Steel (5 page)

“Yes… yes… fuck me! Make me your bitch!”

Leo leaned in and took her lips in a savage kiss. She moaned into the kiss, biting his lips and sucking on them painfully hard. He closed his eyes so he didn’t have to look at her and then pulled his head down to stare at her breasts as they rocked and sloshed with his thrusts.

“I’m going to come again…” she panted as she began to tighten up around him. “Oh… oh… fuck… shit… shit…” she whimpered, her words sliding into a whimpering cry as her orgasm took her. She held him tight, her face twisted in exquisite agony until with an explosive gasp she relaxed. “Shit… stop… stop for a minute… Fuck!” she begged.

Leo stopped, but he was going to finish. He was too near coming to quit now. He pulled out and positioned Anna on her hands and knees. Her back was dirty, covered in a thin film of sweat and mud, but that was better than having to look into her eyes.

He moved behind her and drove into her again as he took her hair and pulled her head back hard. “This what you want? To be fucked in the dirt… to be treated like a bitch?” 

She grunted as he slammed into her. “Yes. Treat me like your bitch.”

Leo could feel his orgasm coming. He bent over her back and mauled her breasts, pinching and tweaking her nipples as he pressed down on her, holding her tight as he thrust into her hard and fast. As he drove himself to orgasm she quivered under him with a whimper and then gasped. Having her fall into another orgasm pushed him over the edge.

“Fuck… I’m going to come…” he grunted.

“Don’t! Don’t come in me!” Anna gasped as she tried to pull away.

He grimaced, his face twisting in erotic torture as he quickly pulled out. As they separated, he took his cock into his hand and, with three quick pumps, he spilled his essence onto her ass as he burned in sweet agony, then relaxed with a long sigh.“Fuck…” he groaned as he got to his feet, his knees complaining about his time on the hard ground.

“Fuck is right,” she sighed as she turned and sat on her ass in the dirt. “That was fucking incredible.” She looked at him, her eyes half close in the way of a well fed cat. “Thank you for not coming in me. I’m on the pill, but…”

“Yeah… I know.”

She stood and oozed into his arms. “Now what?”

“Now… we get dressed and go back to the party,” he said as he gently pulled out of her arms and began to dress.

“Just like that? We just fuck and run?”

“Just like that. It’s nothing personal. You wanted something from me; I wanted something from you. We each got what we wanted.”

“That’s kind of cold, isn’t it?” she asked as she began to gather her clothes.

“Yes…” he admitted.
And that’s the problem,
he thought
.
“But that’s just the way of the club. No ties. No commitments.”

“Then bikers are assholes,” she said with a smirk.

“And now you’re a biker bitch. It’s what you said you wanted. How’s it feel?”

She stared at Leo a moment then gave him a crooked grin. “I like the way bikers fuck, but I think I would rather go back to being a cowgirl. At least the cowboys don’t kick me in the ass as soon as we’re done,” she said as she pulled on her pants.

“And a nice ass it is, too,” he said as he slid his hand over the curve of her buttocks as she bent to shove her foot into her boot.

“Asshole.”

“Bitch.” They stared at each other a moment before she began to giggle and shake her head. “Buy you a beer?” he asked.

“I think that is the least you could do.”

Yes… it probably is,
he thought as they walked back toward the party.

***

“Did you fuck her?” Tuck asked, stepping up to Leo as Anna took her beer and rejoined her friends.

“Yeah.”

“How was it?”

“Empty.”

“Empty? What do you mean?”

“I mean… it was just fucking. I got my rocks off, but it’s not like you and Maggie. There’s no… connection. No… something. I don’t know. I just feel hollow inside, like there is something missing.”

Tuck looked into his friend’s eyes and could see the pain. “Mags and I are about to leave. Can you ride?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“You need to go home. Sleep it off. Tomorrow will be a new day. Forget about all this shit that is dragging you down. You have to let it go.”

“Easier said than done.”

“I know, but if I can help, or if you need anything, you call me,” Tuck said sternly as he made a gun out of his fingers and pointed at Leo.

“Okay. I will. I think I’m out of here right behind you. I just want to check in with Ron before I leave.”

After Tuck left, Leo tracked down Ron and made his goodbyes. As he was walking out he saw Fitz, the treasurer, lying in a chaise with his old lady, sucking face.

Leo gave the chair a bump with his toe. “You want me to make the deposit tomorrow?”

Stuart Fitzgibbons pulled his attention away from what he was doing long enough to look at Leo. “That would be great, if you don’t mind.” He looked at the woman squeezed into the chaise with him. “I think I’m going to be busy. The envelope is in the safe.”

Leo gave his head a shake. “Enjoy yourself.”

“Oh… he will,” the woman purred as she took his lips for her own again.

***

Leo rode through the cooling night, the Harley singing its song. He didn’t know what he was doing anymore. He felt lost and adrift.

When he reached his house, he kicked the door shut and went directly to the cabinet with the Jack. Not even bothering with a glass, he took a hard pull from the bottle that made him growl through gritted teeth. Picking up a glass, he took the bottle and a glass with him to the living room. He couldn’t face the dreams again. Not tonight.

With determined effort, he downed shot after shot to silence the voices as he flipped through his photo book. With the bottle nearly empty, he finally fell into a restless sleep in the wee hours of the morning, the book still open on his lap.

CHAPTER FIVE

Saturday morning, Jamie was hauling ass down 118. She had slept in, luxuriating in bed after her early night. It was only four hours from Van Horn to Vallecito, and she should arrive about noon, or a littler after. That gave her four hours to unload the van and get ready for the bar to open. Plenty of time.

She smiled as the van strained up another rise in the road. Back when she first started making these runs with her dad, they could get everything he needed in the back of the 1950. If she kept growing, she was going to have to add on. Jamie drummed her fingers on the wheel. Her bi-weekly trips to El Paso were her thinking times, the solitude of the drives giving her time to tease apart problems.

He’s Not Here
was nearing capacity now. She didn’t have people waiting at the door, but Friday and Saturday it was damn near standing-room only. She gave the wheel a quick staccato beat with her hands.
It’s time. Tuesday I’m calling the bank and talk to them about a loan.

A year ago, when she had bought the lot next door, she had a firm in San Antonio draw up plans for building on and adding a restaurant. The lot had been functioning as overflow parking, but she had bigger plans for it when she had purchased it. Adding the restaurant would help smooth out her revenue by, hopefully, capturing some of the lunch and dinner crowd through the week, and augmenting her clientele on the weekends. HNH enjoyed a pretty good reputation in town already, but a lot of families still won’t bring their kids into a bar and grille… but they would bring them in a restaurant attached to a bar.

If that happens, I’m going to have to get a bigger truck, go more often, or start having the stuff delivered.
She smiled at the thought. Adding on was going to be a ton of headaches… but if she is going to have headaches, having headaches because her business was growing was the kind of headaches she wanted to have.

She was only fifteen or twenty minutes from home, and jazzed up with her plans, when she saw a couple of trucks sitting on the side of the road. She lifted off the throttle, preparing to stop if necessary, but as she approached, she could see it was just kids trying to get a truck out of the ditch. As she accelerated back up to speed, she shook her head. The dumbass kids had tried to cross the ditch straight-on and had gotten stuck. Three of them were pushing while a fourth drove, the spinning tires spraying the sandy soil everywhere.

She didn’t bother to stop. With the other truck there, they could either push the truck out or, failing that, pile into the other truck to ride into town for a tow.
Besides, what can I do that four strapping teenage boys can’t?

***

“Jesus, Leo, you look like hell!”

“Hi, yourself,” Leo grumbled as Jamie pushed a hand-truck out of the back of HNH. He was here to make the
deposit…
the term Lima 6 used for the cash they funneled through Jamie’s business to launder for them. He had guessed she would be back sometime around noon, and it looked like he had guessed right because the van was still piled high with her inventory.

“Looks like you had a big night last night.”

“Yeah. I didn’t have you around to cut me off and I got a little carried away. I’m here to make a deposit, if that is okay.”

“Sure. You want to just throw it on my desk?”

“I can. You want some help with this?”

Jamie grinned. “Are you sure you are up for it? You look like you have been eaten by a wolf and shit over a cliff.”

He couldn’t help but bark out a laugh. The pounding headache he woke up with was nearly gone; the ibuprofen was doing its thing and he had drank enough water to float a boat.

“Yeah, I think so. I’ll wheel it in and you can put it away,” he said as he hefted the first case and sat it on the dolly.

“Okay. Thanks! Then I’ll buy you lunch.”

As Leo brought the cases in and ripped them open, Jamie stacked the contents on the shelves, placing the newer behind the older.

He could unload considerably faster than she could stock, so after wrestling the beer kegs in, he began to hand bottles and cans to her so she didn’t spend so much time running up and down the stepladder.

“You’re looking a little better,” Jamie remarked as she stacked. “I’ll talk to Rachel about letting you get so snockered. You didn’t drive home, I hope.”

“It wasn’t Rachel. I did it all by myself, at home.”

“Oh? Were you alone or did you have a… companion? Drinking alone like that is a bad sign.”

“By myself.”

Jamie paused and looked at Leo. “You know, if you ever need someone to talk to, my door is always open.” She took the two offered bottles of Southern Comfort and added them behind their mates.

“Thanks, Jamie. I appreciate. I do. It’s just…”

“Just what?”

“Just… I don’t know.”

“Ghosts?”

Leo offered her a half-hearted grin and two more bottles. “Yeah. Ghosts.”

Jamie stepped down off the ladder. “Leo, talk to me. Tell me what’s bothering you. Maybe I can help.”

“I doubt it.”

“Look, it’s just the two of us here. Whatever you tell me will go no farther than these four walls. You have my word.”

He looked into her eyes for a moment. “It’s nothing really. Yesterday was the fifth anniversary of my discharge.” Technically that wasn’t true as he had spent another eighteen months in uniform after the ambush.

“It’s been tough? Why did you leave?”

“Medical condition.”

“Medical condition?” she asked as her eyes widened. Leo looked pretty damn healthy to her.

“Yeah. My left lung doesn’t work right, and that… limited... my career opportunities.”

Jamie could tell he was dancing around something, but she didn’t know what. “They didn’t know that when you enlisted?”

“It happened after I joined.”

“Oh. An accident?”

“Something like that.”

“But you’re okay now?”

Leo grinned. “If by okay you mean, can I hump a fifty pound rucksack twelve miles in under three hours, the answer would be no. But short of running a marathon or something like that, yeah, I’m okay.”

“And that is what has you down? The accident and the discharge?”

“I guess you could say that.”

She smiled at him. “I’m sorry, Leo. I really am, but if it makes you feel any better, I’m glad you’re here.”

He returned her smile. For some reason, having her say that did make him feel a little better. “Thanks, Jamie. I appreciate that.”

Feeling like she was making a little progress with him, Jamie looked at the mess in the storage room. “I’m starving. How about that lunch? My treat for all your hard work. Then I will come back here and finish up.”

“Okay, thanks, but you don’t have to buy.”

“Hey, it’s a business expense!”

“Okay. I’ll let
He’s Not Here
buy my lunch. You want to go in the van or ride on the back of my bike?”

“Let’s take your bike. It’s such a nice day.”

Leo didn’t know if he would agree that almost ninety degrees was ‘such a nice day,’ but he wouldn’t mind Jamie hanging onto him on the back of his bike.

Jamie locked up before she stepped up to his bike. He handed her his helmet. “I didn’t think about you not having a helmet,” she said as she took the offered helmet.

“Don’t need one. My head is hard enough.”

She snickered as she plopped the helmet on her head and tighten the strap. “Oh, right. Army.”

Leo chuckled as he mounted the bike and waited for Jamie to get on. When the bike sagged under her weight, he sat down and thumbed the hog to life. “Where to?” he shouted.

“How about Kirklands? I’m in the mood for barbecue.”

***

“What did you do in the Army?” Jamie asked after they had placed their order, picking up the thread of the conversation from the bar.

“Nothing special. I was just a grunt.”

“So what happened to you?” The moment she spoke the words she saw Leo stiffen.
Ah… there’s the sore spot,
she thought.

“It happened in Iraq,” Leo said softly, “on a convoy protection detail.”

“What happened? You get hit by a truck or something?” she asked playfully. She knew she was pressing, but she could sense there was something important in this.

“You could say that. Here’s our food,” he said, clearly changing the subject.

She decided to drop the subject for now, not wanting to seem nosey or rude. “Good. I could eat a horse.” She watched as Leo forced a smile.
Fuck… now I’ve upset him.

They ate in silence for a moment. “Did you have a good trip to El Paso?” Leo asked as a way to break the growing silence.

“Not bad. I got in some shopping while I was there. I bought some new shirts and pants to wear at work.”

“You always wear white shirts and black pants. Why is that?”

Jamie grinned. “No reason. Tradition mostly. Granddad always wore a white shirt, and so did Dad. I’ve just continued the tradition. It’s the unofficial uniform of
He’s Not Here.
Plus I don’t ever have to wonder what I’m going to wear to work.”

This is the first time he has had a chance to talk to Jamie when she isn’t busy. “You took the bar over from your dad?”

“Yeah, after Mom died. Let’s see, about four years ago, he packed it in. Sold me the bar and, well, retired, I guess you could say. He’s toting the note for me. Will had just re-upped for his second tour in Marines so Dad asked me if I wanted it.”

“Will is older than you?”

“Yeah. Four years. He couldn’t
wait
to get out of Vallecito. That was just before Lima 6 arrived. It was bad back then. Real bad.”

“So I heard. Your dad, is he still in town?”

“No. Not anymore. He’s in an assisted living place in Fort Davis. He’s suffering from Alzheimer’s.”

“Alzheimer’s?”

“Yeah. I go up and see him on most Sundays. Sometimes he knows me… sometimes he thinks I’m Mom.”

“I’m sorry, Jamie. That has to be tough.”

She gave him a wan smile. “It’s okay. I can be Mom if it makes him feel better.”

“How old is your dad? Seems like he would be a little young to have Alzheimer’s.”

“He’s, let’s see… fifty-five.”

“
Fifty-five?
I thought you had to be, like, eighty, to get Alzheimer’s.”

“No. Most people who have Alzheimer’s are older, but there is something called early-onset Alzheimer’s. It’s rare, but it happens.”

“Holy shit, Jamie. I’m so sorry.”

She shrugged. “It’s tough, but you deal and move on. I think it is part of the reason Will is getting out. What about you? Any brothers or sisters?”

“Only child. Mom said after me they couldn’t print enough money for her to have another.”

Jamie laughed in delight. “You were a little hellion?”