Suspect Passions (6 page)

White heat flushed her skin, and tears threatened to reveal the depths of her despair. She felt completely out of control and exposed in front of the two people who were ripping her world apart.

Regan’s face paled. Her eyes filled with confusion and she backed away from Syd so quickly that she bumped into the table and slumped backward into her chair. “You—you’re—”

It appeared that she’d had some great epiphany and was at a loss to express the extent of her awakening, but Syd could only struggle to maintain some semblance of control.

“This is very unfortunate for all of us, Officer Cabot,” Terry Blair said, “but we have to address the issue. We’re being sued and we must respond. Would you like to take a short break before we continue?”

His voice was direct and all business. Its effect on Syd was immediate. She drew a deep, deliberate breath to disperse the pressure in her chest. Although she knew she was being illogical, she regarded these two people now as her adversaries. Few situations in the field left her feeling so violated and vulnerable. She batted her teary eyes until they felt dry and clear.

With every ounce of self-control she could summon, she dug her nails into her palms and returned to her seat.

“I don’t need a break. Let’s get this over with, please. Tell me what it means.”

Terry Blair looked at Regan, obviously expecting her to assume charge of the meeting. She was staring at her unopened file folder, as she had been since returning to her seat. When the silence became too conspicuous, he prompted, “Ms. Desanto will be handling your case.”

His comment seemed to drag Regan from her mental distraction. “Terry, I think we should discuss this further before locking into any particular course of action, or any specific case handler.”

“We’ve had this discussion, Regan. I see no reason to go over the same ground.”

Watching the exchange between the two attorneys, Syd tried to understand what was happening. They had lowered their voices to whispers but continued heatedly. The confidence she’d seen earlier in Regan Desanto’s face and bearing had vanished. It had been replaced by uncertainty and something bordering on fear.

“Excuse me.” When Syd could not get their attention, she repeated, “
Excuse me,
” and this time they fell silent. “If you two can’t make a simple decision about who’s going to handle this case, I’m not sure I want either of you on my side. Nobody has more to lose here than I do, so what’s going on?” She rested her gaze on Regan.

“Excuse us for a minute, Officer.” Regan stood and signaled her colleague toward the door. “We’ll be back in just a second.”

As the conference room door closed behind them, Syd’s emotions began to calm. She replayed the events of the last few minutes and formed another possible scenario. What if Regan had suddenly recognized her from the club and decided she wanted nothing to do with her? Should seeing someone naked in the throes of orgasm interfere with job responsibilities? If that was the case, then many couples would be rendered professionally inept.

On the other hand, Syd wasn’t sure about having Regan Desanto defend her under these circumstances. It really shouldn’t make any difference. It wasn’t like
they
had sex. Regan had simply witnessed Syd in the act with someone else, and if her expression that night was any indication, Regan was disgusted by her and would try her best to pass this assignment off to another attorney. Disappointment crept over Syd. She shook it off and told herself that she wanted the very best representative the city had. If Regan Desanto was so prudish and judgmental about witnessing the sex act, how did she perceive the moral ambiguity of killing another human being in the line of duty?

The door opened and Regan entered, having shed the oppressive black blazer. Her body seemed to bristle with vitality, more at home in the form-hugging slacks and sweater. Her eyes never left the file in front of her as she and Terry Blair returned to their seats. Setting a Diet Coke on the table, she flicked through the pages.

“What all this means, Officer Cabot, is that now we start building a civil case to defend the cited parties.” Her tone was matter-of-fact. “Since the incident itself has been deemed justified by Internal Affairs and the district attorney’s office, we have to assume you will be the sole subject of scrutiny.”

Her entire demeanor had changed. She’d obviously lost the coin toss but was now entirely intent on the task before her. Any hint of distraction had vanished. If Syd hadn’t seen it herself, she wouldn’t have guessed that less than five minutes ago this woman had been seriously rattled. Now the words flowed from her kissable lips with precision and authority. Syd marveled at the demonstration of control. Whatever she was selling, Syd wanted it. At this moment she couldn’t imagine anyone more perfect to handle her case. But Regan’s last statement worried her.

“What do you mean I’ll be the sole subject of scrutiny? When haven’t I been?”

Still engrossed in the documents before her, Regan replied, “I know it feels like that, but the plaintiff’s attorney is going to pick you apart. He’ll be looking into your past job performance. He may even be granted access to your Internal Affairs and personnel files.”

“Is that allowed? Can’t you do something to stop it?”

For the first time since reentering the room, Regan looked directly at Syd. “Do we need to be concerned about something in them?”

Their eyes locked, and Syd was momentarily distracted by the gaze, which felt much more personal than the question. Regan’s eyes were a luminous shade of azure blue and sparkled with flecks of gray.

“No, of course not,” Syd answered. “Would you want someone going through your entire personnel history and every nitpicking complaint in twelve years? I don’t think anyone would welcome that kind of public review of their lives.”

Regan returned to her notes and mumbled more sympathetically, “Of course not.”

Her boss seemed to be satisfied that they were now on track. Assembling his documents, he said, “Well, I think we have some idea of what we’re up against. We just wanted to let you know what was coming, Officer. Needless to say, we’ll expect your full cooperation. Regan and I will be developing a strategy, and then she’ll meet with you. Any questions?”

“I suppose not.” Syd knew they were waiting for her to leave, but she hesitated. “Ms. Desanto?”

Regan looked up. “Yes?”

“Do you think you can win this?” Syd asked baldly.

She noticed the almost-undetectable falter in the fluid motion of Regan’s hands as she gathered the paperwork. Her gaze shifted slightly upward and to the left. Syd knew her response would be professionally and politically correct, though not completely honest.

“The facts of the case are definitely in our favor. There’s no reason to doubt our success. I know it’s difficult, Sydney…Syd. But try not to worry so much—and have a little faith in your attorney.”

Syd stared at her, appreciative of her attempts to allay her fears and offer encouragement but still uncertain she could, in fact, place full confidence in her. At this point, she had little choice, and she needed to do whatever she could to make sure Regan Desanto was on her side.

“I’m sure you’ll be doing your best,” she said as sincerely as she could. With a nod of deference, she rose and walked toward the exit.

As she reached for the door handle, Terry Blair added, “And by the way, you’re back on administrative leave for the next two weeks. Your assignment will be to this office. It won’t be necessary to report here every day. Just call in with Regan and be available.”

Syd tightened her grip on the doorknob. Her shoulders tensed and drew forward as the weight of inactivity settled upon her again. Fighting an urge to throw up, she jerked the door open and replied through clenched teeth, “Yes, sir.”

*

Regan dropped back into her seat as soon as Terry left the conference room. Thankful to be alone, she reflected on the meeting that had just taken place and the unforeseen complications that could arise in such a short period of time.

Sydney Cabot had instantly seemed familiar in some intangible way. Maybe it was the uniform that made all officers appear the same. But that wasn’t right. This woman appeared at odds with the costume of her trade, too feminine in body, too quiet in temperament. Perhaps the sultry voice reminded Regan of someone from the past. But that didn’t fit either. She couldn’t remember ever really noticing another woman’s voice as an element of attraction. And Syd’s intoxicatingly earthy fragrance struck a chord of familiarity too specific to dismiss, drifting through the room and settling on her like a caress. It was possible that those gem-colored eyes were simply too distracting for her to think properly. The most likely scenario was that she had been alone too long and the attributes of a gorgeous woman simply registered more acutely than normal.

A few minutes into the meeting Regan had discovered just how wrong she was. When the reason for their briefing became clear, Syd had transformed from the seemingly quiet femme into a raging specimen of unleashed passion. Perspiration glistened on her forehead and dampened the straight hair feathered around her face. As her agitation increased and her emotions seemed to peak, the tone of her voice crested into an almost agonizing plea. She swept wet strands back from her forehead and the green of her eyes deepened to shimmering moss. The emotion emanating from those eyes was what registered with Regan, that look of vulnerability, confusion, and deep loss. She’d seen it before and it touched her heart once again.

Suddenly everything and nothing made sense.
This
was the woman from the club on Friday night and the elevator yesterday. The room felt like it was spinning as Regan lost concentration and the thing she feared losing most—her control. This was the third time she’d seen Sydney Cabot, and on each occasion she’d come away from the encounter feeling unsettled and inexplicably aroused.

It was worse this time. She’d allowed herself to become emotionally attached to the officer in this case before ever meeting her. After reviewing the file, she’d made a commitment that Officer Cabot
would be completely vindicated. She had vowed that her personal drama would not affect her work the way it had last time. She’d given her word to this woman, and once Regan made a commitment she kept it. But there had to be a universal opt-out clause that covered such quirky twists of fate. How could she possibly represent
her?

She’d seen this officer naked at the most intimate of moments and been disgusted by her lack of dignity. At the same time she’d been so mesmerized by her vulnerability that she’d been unable to turn away. She certainly couldn’t be expected to work with her now. The rapport and trust that needed to exist had been destroyed before it had a chance to develop. Syd deserved someone who was totally committed to her case. According to her file, she had suffered serious trauma that required therapy after the shooting. Anything less than a one hundred percent effort would be unconscionable. But how could Regan explain her withdrawal from the case to Terry? Their brief tête-à-tête in the hallway had proved less than satisfactory.

“You want to
what?
” he’d asked.

“I need you to reassign this case, Terry.”

“We’ve already covered this ground, and you agreed.”

“The situation has changed. Something has happened that makes my position as first chair unwise.”

“You’re just getting cold feet. You’ll have to do better than that.”

“I can’t. It’s personal.” Regan made eye contact, hoping he would see the gravity of the situation in her expression.

“Did you sleep with her?”

“
No
!”
The idea had sent shivers through Regan’s system.

“Then we don’t have a problem. And even if you did sleep with her, it’s not like a normal attorney-client situation. Your primary defendant is the City of High Point, then the police department, and Sydney Cabot last. You’re on the case, so get back in there and act like it.”

As she’d settled back at the conference table, Regan had admonished herself for even bringing the withdrawal up in the first place. It made her look unprofessional to her boss. That’s what losing control did to her. It attacked her confidence and made her question tried-and-true methods of coping. Not again. She would remain on task and disregard any interactions with Syd, past or future, that didn’t directly pertain to the civil suit.

But every time she looked at that woman she saw her naked and vulnerable, with another woman’s fist inside her. The last thought ignited a burning ache in her chest that she’d never felt before. A deep need tugged at Regan and threatened to pull her in. How could she possibly remain unbiased and logical, when Syd elicited a savior complex that could easily cloud her judgment? The most disturbing aspect of today’s meeting was the realization that Sydney Cabot didn’t exactly fit into the box Regan had put her in after their anonymous encounters. The woman she’d seen today was obviously sensitive and deeply affected by the shooting. She tried to mask her vulnerability with the cloak and attitude of her profession, but remained partially exposed. Regan couldn’t understand why Syd engaged in sexually inappropriate behavior like hooking up in a ladies’ room or overtly flirting in an elevator. Maybe her acting out was part of an elaborate coping device to disguise deeper feelings. If nothing else, the woman was a walking, frustrating contradiction.