Sway (20 page)

other the look as she and Miles

watched. She had no doubt Levi

recognized Adrian. One had to be a

hermit who never got online or turned

a radio on to not recognize the voice

or face. Adrian was a musician. A

very popular one. It was still odd,

getting used to having him as a friend.

She’d come around a corner and he’d

be standing there and she had one of

those

ohmigod-Adrian-Brown-is-

standing-right-there moments. And

when his family and all Gillian’s

friends got together it was even

worse because his sister was a rock

star too. They were down-to-earth

people, but it was still sort of cool.

“Gotta hit the road, kid. Your

mum’s expecting us.” He looked to

Daisy. “Appreciate your hanging out

with Miles today.”

She looked to Levi. “Gillian has

the flu so we decided to give her a

few hours’ quiet this morning.”

“Next stop is Mary’s. She’s been

making soup today.” Adrian put a

hand on his son’s shoulder. “It’s

good to get in with these women,

Levi. One of them is an amazing

cook. Another one is an amazing

pastry chef. This one here is an

incredible artist as well as a great

friend.” He winked at Daisy who

blushed.

Levi took her hand and squeezed.

“Good to know.”

And they were off, leaving her

alone with Levi so he pulled her into

a hug and kissed her before heading

back inside.

“How about some hot chocolate?

Or tea maybe?”

“Tea would be really good.”

She bustled around, taking his coat

and hat, laying the hat and gloves

near the fireplace to dry. “Sit, I’ll

start it now.”

“So tell me about your meeting on

Wednesday. With Mark.”

“He offered me a spot in a three-

artist show he’s doing at his gallery

in the fall.” She grinned, still thrilled

about it.

He stood and moved to her, pulling

her into a hug and her feet left the

ground as he spun. “Congratulations.

That’s wonderful news.” He kissed

her soundly and put her down.

“I have several pieces already

done for it. He’s going to come out to

the studio in a month or two. He

knows your mother, said she was an

avid collector. Is that where you got

it from?”

He got that look, the one he got

whenever she mentioned his family,

and it pissed her off. Was she his

girlfriend or not? Why did he seem

so freaked about her meeting them?

Or even knowing about them? Unless

they were all like his sister-in-law he

swore wasn’t like his family.

“Things are beginning to really

take off for you. I’m thrilled.” No

mention of his mother.

“Will you be there? At the

opening?” She shouldn’t have asked,

but then she got mad at herself for

thinking that. Why shouldn’t she?

She’d ask any other man she was

dating and in love with.

He hesitated and she realized they

were actually going to have to talk

about it. Like right then.

“So, your brother, the one you had

lunch with the other day. Is that

Jonah? The oldest?”

She busied herself with tea prep.

“Yes, of course I’ll be at your

show. That’s first. And yes, that was

Jonah.” He shouldn’t have hesitated.

She heard it and things were

uncomfortable now when they’d been

nice and easy up to that point.

This little house was a comfort to

him. A place he could go and relax

and just be. She gave him that. But

with this unsaid stuff between them it

was less so.

“It would have been nice to have

met him. Jonah, I mean.”

“Well you were at a business

meeting. I didn’t want to interrupt.”

She turned and he hated the way he

felt.

“Okay. So when is it that I do get

to meet your family?”

“You met Mal.”

One of her brows shot up. “By

accident. And it went sooo well.”

“Seems to me that’s a good reason

for you not to meet them. Why are

you so curious about them anyway?”

“Because they’re part of your life.

I want to know you, I want to know

your family.” Her face fell and he felt

like an asshole.

“You do know me. I’m here with

you now.”

“I’ve invited you to dinner at my

family’s house twice now and you’ve

been busy. I ask about your family

and you look like you swallowed a

bug. I get it. I just want to know if

you’re always going to be busy.”

“What do you mean?”

Was he going to make her say it?

“Never mind. You should go

home. I’ll see you later this week.”

“No. Say it. There’s too much

unsaid so far. What do you mean?”

“I mean, Levi, is this something

real? This thing we have? Because it

feels real to me. And I can’t bear the

idea of having you run interference

between me and your family because

you don’t feel the same.”

“Of course it’s real.”

“So then why can’t I meet your

family? Why are you so hesitant to

meet mine? If we’re real and in a

relationship, why do I feel like

you’re hiding me?”

He pushed to stand. “I don’t hide

you.”

“Really? All right then, I’ll be

ready for you to pick me up

tomorrow.”

“For what?”

“For your family dinner.”

“You wouldn’t even have a good

time. Hell, Daisy,
I
don’t even have a

good time and they’re my family.”

“Do they know about me?”

He scrubbed his hands over his

face. “Jonah does. Obviously Mal

does.”

“My parents know about you. My

friends know about you. Do your

friends know about me?”

“What’s brought all this on? We’re

here together. Clearly I want to be

here. I’m not seeing anyone else, nor

do I want to. I’m a forty-year-old

man; I don’t fill my parents in on my

romantic life like that.”

“You’re so full of shit.” She shook

her head. “You see your family

weekly. You have lunch with your

brother, who you told me is like your

best friend.”

“And he knows about you.”

She bit her lip. She never gave

ultimatums. Ever. They were silly.

She didn’t want to say or do anything

to drive Levi from her life. She liked

him in it. Hell, she loved him in it.

But she really just didn’t think she

could bear it if she stayed with him

and he continued to hide her like a

dirty secret.

“You make me feel special, Levi.”

She walked to her kitchen sink to

look outside.

“Because you are special.”

She closed her eyes a moment.

“When you touch me, so gentle

even when you’re firm. Even when

you’re using a crop on me—you

touch me like I’m precious. No one

has ever touched me like that.”

He moved to her, putting his arms

around her, his front to her back.

“How can you doubt you’re

special to me?” He kissed her neck.

“If you know how I feel every time I

touch you?”

“Because it’s all a lie if you don’t

treat me that way all the time.”

Once she said it aloud, she knew it

was true.

“What is it you want from me?

We’ve only been together a few

months. Are you expecting marriage

this early on?”

She spun, pulling herself from his

embrace.

“Don’t.

You’re

disrespecting us both to play that

game. I’m not asking for you to marry

me. I’m asking you to own what we

have in public. I’m asking to be a

part of the life you have when you’re

not off work or here at home on the

island. You have this whole other life

you seem totally determined not to let

me be part of.”

“I’ve been with you in public many

times. In fact that’s when you met

Mal.”

“I don’t think that example helps

you.”

“What is this? Just say what you

want.”

“I want you to be with me. Openly.

I want to be part of your life. I don’t

want to feel like your filthy secret.”

“What we do in the bedroom is no

one’s business.”

She sought patience, counting to

ten before she spoke again. “I didn’t

say I wanted you to tie me up and

whip me in the middle of Pioneer

Square. Don’t try to play lawyer ball

with me. I’m young, but I’m not

stupid. I get it, I get that you have this

important family and all. I get that

you have traditions to live up to and I

respect that. It’s a good thing. But

why can’t I be part of that? Are you

ashamed of me?”

“How can you say that?”

“When you seem to go out of your

way to avoid bringing me around

your family and friends. That’s how I

can say that. Is it that I’m young? Or

inked? Not blonde and perfect with

big horse teeth like that dumbass your

brother married?”

He laughed and she wanted to join

him. But she didn’t. Her heart was

breaking because the way he avoided

the subject, even when they were

fighting about it and on the verge of

something awful, made her sick

inside.

“Have you looked in the mirror

lately? That you’d ever compare

yourself to a woman like Gwen and

find yourself less attractive is mind-

boggling. You’re stunning. You’re

individual and vibrant and you own

what

you

have.

There’s

no

comparison.”

She smiled and reached up to

brush his hair off his forehead before

she turned to pour the tea.

“So what is it then? Tell me.”

“It’s nothing. You’re making stuff

up.”

“Oh my god! Levi Warner, you

owe me some honesty. I’m being

honest with you right now. I’m telling

you how I feel. I’m exposing my fears

and worries. I expect some damned

truth. Anything less is a charade and I

don’t want to
play
love with you. I

love you. I love you enough to

demand that you show me some

truth.”

He paused. “You can’t love me.

Not yet.”

“Oh really? Tell me what it is.

Why you won’t introduce me to your

family then.”

“We don’t bring dates to Sunday

dinner. We bring fiancées and wives.

That’s how it works. You’re not any

of those yet. Over time you’ll be

invited to things. But it’s early.”

She stared at him. “Is it my age or

my skin tone?”

He threw his hands up. “Christ,

Daisy. I know Gwen was a raging

bitch, but this isn’t the forties. It’s not

your race. But you’re young. She’s

going to think you’re a passing fancy.

Being with one of us comes with all

sorts of stuff. I’m actually saving you

from it.”

“So you hiding me from them is for

my own good?”

“You could be a lawyer with all

this fast-talking.”

“You just don’t like it that I don’t

buy your crap. Look, I’m not going to

live in a closet. I’m not going to be

your Bainbridge Island girlfriend.

I’m not going to pretend not to know

you when I see you in public. Or

have you get a panicky look on your

face if I bump into you and you might

have to introduce me to someone. I’m

with you. Or I’m not with you. But

I’m never anyone’s secret.”

“Is this an ultimatum?” His eyes

narrowed and she wanted to cry so

much.

“I guess it is. I don’t like them.

I’ve never given one before. But I

can’t see any other way to live with

myself if I don’t ask for what I need

and walk away if I can’t get it.”

“I’m glad I got to know you, Daisy.

But I don’t do ultimatums. I’m a big

boy and I don’t need a boss.”

He stepped back and she felt so

very empty and sad.

“All right. I can’t make you stay. I

can love you and let you go. I do

hope you have a lovely life.”

And she stood there and watched