Sweet Thing (16 page)

When he reached his doorway, he turned toward me. “I know, Mia, you’ve made that abundantly clear.” Then he slammed the door and yelled “Goodnight!” through the closed door.

I pressed my forehead against his door and took a deep breath and then said in a low voice, “Will, you can have anybody you want. You’ll get a record deal and go on tour and everyone will be falling at your feet.” My eyes filled up. “Please, Will, I care about you. You’re my family; this is the way it has to be.”

He opened the door and drew me into his arms. “Okay, then,” he whispered and held me against his chest. “You must really be into that guy.”

What?
I realized Will thought I was still with Robert. Why did everything have to be so complicated? If I told Will that Robert and I were over, it would hurt him even more that I didn’t want to be with him. I wasn’t entirely sure Will wanted to be with me anyway. Will was just a lover through and through and he prided himself on being true to any spontaneous physical desire he had, or at least that’s what I thought. I imagined that Will slept with all his friends with no commitment and I imagined it wouldn’t be long before he was partaking in the perks of being a swooned-over rock star. I had no desire to be his humdrum history on
Before They Were Famous
. Yet, I couldn’t deny that I loved being with him and it took every fiber of my being to refuse his touch in that way.

Track 10: TGIF

Over the next two weeks, I spent almost every waking moment with Jenny, finalizing the wedding plans. She and Tyler decided on a small, private wedding at her uncle’s cottage in South Hampton. The wedding was a couple of weeks out and Jenny asked if I would spend a weekend with her out at the cottage getting everything in order; I agreed. We were to leave Friday night after I closed up Kell’s. That day would become one that I wished I could forget for a long time. I packed my bags in the morning and left Will a note asking if he would take care of Jackson until Sunday. I hadn’t seen Will much that week. He was busy, I guess. “Figuring things out,” or maybe he was avoiding me again. I took Jackson for a walk through the park before I went into the café. Just my luck, I ran into Robert and Jacob eating donuts on a bench near the children’s playground.

“Mia!” Robert called out to me. I glanced over and immediately wished I could disappear. Robert told Jacob to go play as he stood up to approach me.

He smiled kindly and gauged my expression before he spoke. I had to make a concerted effort to mask my hostility.

“You look good,” he said shamelessly, his eyes glancing down at my chest.

It was so nauseating that I couldn’t for the life of me spare him at least a little of my wrath. “Yes, I am alive, after being left in midtown at three in the morning.”

There was a long pause.

“There’s no shortage of cabs in that area, Mia,” he said smugly, “and if I recall, you chose to be left in midtown at three in the morning. On top of it, that’s not a dangerous area.”

“Actually, Mister Native New Yorker, contrary to popular belief, there is more crime in Midtown than in Harlem or the Bronx, so it’s miracle I wasn’t murdered and dumped in the East River,” I said, smirking.

“Well, I guess that makes you the naïve one for traipsing around Midtown in the middle of the night.” The back-and-forth comments were reminiscent of our fateful taxi ride. I was stumped, fumbling for words, when I thought, why the hell am I standing here talking to this assclown?

“Good day, sir!” I spat at his shoes and hurried away.
Great start to my Friday
, I thought,
TGIF
.

I cut Jackson’s walk short and headed to the corner market where I grabbed a chocolate bar to eat for breakfast; it was going be that kind of day. As I stood at the register, I noticed a variety of those little airplane bottles of liquor. I decided on the tequila, no surprise there. I stood outside of the market and tied Jackson’s leash around my waist. I had the open chocolate bar in one hand and the open mini bottle in the other. I took a bite of the chocolate and then slugged back the tequila; I’m not going to lie, the combination was growing on me. I headed home, wearing Jackson’s leash like a belt and enjoying my breakfast. When I got back up to the apartment, I peeked in Will’s room. His bed was made and the stack of mail I left there the day before was untouched. I thought maybe he’d stayed at Tyler’s, working on whatever secret website project they had going.

I headed down to Kell’s, whereupon walking through the door Jenny held up the phone and yelled, “There she is! Hey! Your mama’s on the phone.” She was a little too cheery for the early morning hour. I shook my head frantically, but Jenny just smiled at me and nodded, saying “Oh yeah,” over and over again. She was being bratty; she knew I was avoiding my mom and she probably thought I needed a little nudge. Her antics would have been hilarious if it wasn’t my life she was messing with.

“Hello, Mother,” I said with my tequila-inspired confidence.

“Mia, I talked to Martha. Let me explain.”

“I’m all ears.”

“Your father and I didn’t want to confuse you as a child, it’s as simple as that,” she said in her determined lawyer tone.

“Whatever.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I would never do anything to hurt you. I was young and I didn’t understand your father’s world. I got nothing out of the lifestyle; it was a party trick to me back then. I would rather have had my head in a book than sit around singing songs… Your father knew that. We weren’t wrong for being ourselves, we were wrong for each other.” There was a long pause. “I see the way you are when you play, Mia, I see the passion like your father’s, and I think it’s time for you to be honest with yourself. All the time you spent in college trying to fight it and look where you are? In the village, giving music lessons, living with Will.”

“I had no choice.”

“I think you did.”

“I gotta go, Mom. I forgive you.” I hung up the phone, told Jenny I would be right back, and headed to the corner market. I set a chocolate bar and mini bottle of tequila on the counter for the second time that morning.

This time Benton, the eighty-year-old cashier, eyed me and shook his head slightly. “Miss Mia, you know it’s ten a.m.?” I nodded. “You’re too young to be so unhappy.”

“I’m not unhappy. I’m concerned about the economy in the village. I figure consumerism is the key, right?” I said it with a ridiculous amount of glee.

He rang me up and took my money, still shaking his head; I don’t think be bought my story.

Once again I stood outside and pounded back the tequila on the street, which I’m pretty sure is illegal. When I got back to the café, I told Jenny to zip it about my mother and then I went about my day. At dinner I insisted on ordering salads from Sam’s to offset the chocolate bars and tequila. We closed Kell’s early to eat our salads in the back. I told Jenny I’d had an awful morning, but left out the details about Robert. She assured me we would have a fun weekend in South Hampton. When I told her I felt bad for leaving Jackson, she suggested that I bring him.

“Really? You don’t mind?”

“Not at all, I love that pooch. I had to park my dad’s Jeep a couple of blocks away, so I’ll go run and grab it, you can get Jackson, and I’ll meet you on the street in fifteen minutes?”

“Perfect.” I took two steps at a time leaping up the stairs to my apartment.

When I opened the door, Jackson greeted me. All the lights were on, the stereo was blaring and the shower was running. I needed to tell Will that I was taking Jackson. We had gotten used to walking into the bathroom while the other person was in the shower, so I opened the door and froze. Through the frosted curtain I saw, not to mention heard, what could have only been Will fucking a girl in our shower. I quickly sucked in a breath of air, inadvertently making a squeaking noise. The motion and sound behind the curtain immediately stopped.

“Sorry!” I yelled and then backed out and shut the door. My heart was in my throat. I tried to calm myself and prevent any more water from gathering in my eyes. I clenched my jaw and stood paralyzed in the hall. When I heard them shuffling around, I turned and abruptly headed for the kitchen.

The bathroom door opened as I walked away. “Mia?” he said in a low voice behind me.

Don’t turn around, don’t cry!

I reached the kitchen counter just as the lead singer of the Black Keys began chanting something about a psychotic girl
.
For some reason that song reminded me of the movie
Deliverance
. I promised myself there would be no murder in the apartment that night. I was too crushed to do anything and… I had no right. I greeted him with a huge smile. “Hi, Will! I’ve had a fucked up day!” I said cheerily as a rogue tear spilt from my eye. I looked away and concentrated on putting Jackson’s food in a bag.

Will put his hands on my shoulders and turned me around to face him. I kept my head down, defeated. “I’m sorry, Mia. I’m sorry you had to walk in on that. I thought you were… going…” He couldn’t finish his thought; he just lifted my chin and searched my eyes until I was sure he saw the hurt in them.

I swallowed the lump back and held my head up. “Yes… I
am
going… to the Hamptons. I just decided that I wanted to take Jackson, so here I am… picking up Jackson… and there you are… in a towel… postcoital… interestingly enough… time to go… it’s time to go.” I stumbled over every ridiculous word with watery eyes and a smile.

When I turned to walk out he grabbed my arm and stepped toward me with a pitying look on his face. We were mere inches apart. I fixed my gaze on the
Soul Captain
tattoo over his heart. I couldn’t look up at him. He hesitated and then in a low voice said, “I want you to meet Audrey.”

I took a deep, cleansing breath. “How long have you been dating her?” I whispered.

“Two weeks, but I’ve known her a while.”

I nodded and smiled. He was so sweet, so easily in love, and he wanted to share it with me.

“Please, Mia, I like her and I care what you think.”

“Okay,” I said. And then, as if on cue, Audrey came into my peripheral vision. She was gorgeous, a couple of inches taller than me with long, golden-brown hair. She had an all-American girl look about her with her cutoff jean shorts and long, tan legs. She was wearing one of Will’s old Ramones T-shirts. I appraised her, hoping to find a flaw, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t find one blemish; she even had perfect feet and pretty toes. So then I hoped that she would be really dumb or shallow or conceited or mean. Any of those would do.

“Hi, Mia. It’s nice meet you, Will has told me so much about you and I’ve seen your pictures all over. You’re even prettier in real life; I didn’t think that would be possible.” She reached out to hug me and I hugged her back awkwardly. Damn, she was nice! I couldn’t hate her or I’d for sure have the karma police on me. You know when someone just seems so put-together and kind, even their speaking voice has a nice sound to it, and you want to hate them or find a flaw but you can’t, so you have to like them, as painful as it is? That’s how I felt about Audrey.

“It’s nice to meet you, too. You’re very pretty yourself and Will is a good guy and great friend. Have a happy weekend,” I said. “I’ll see you Sunday, Will.” I gave him a curt nod; he was leaning back against the counter with his arms and feet crossed.

He flashed me a tiny, sympathetic smile and mouthed the word “bye.”

I ran dangerously fast down the stairs with Jackson in tow. When I got out to Jenny, she was giving me a dirty look. I opened the Jeep door and motioned for Jackson to jump in. “What the hell took so long?” she said. I held my finger up and said, “One more minute?” I slammed the door and ran across the street to the corner market.

Benton was still working. I set three tiny bottles of tequila on the counter. This time he smirked and said, “No chocolate?” I got out to the sidewalk and drank each bottle over a trashcan while I stared directly at Jenny, sitting in the Jeep. When I finally got in the passenger side, she didn’t say a word; she patted my leg and then blasted Cat Stevens. I cried all the way to South Hampton.

By the time Jenny and I arrived at her uncle’s cottage, it was late and we were both exhausted, so we called it a night. The next day, I woke up and decided that I wouldn’t talk about my terrible Friday while I was with Jenny. She was stressed about her wedding and I wanted to be a good friend. Her uncle’s cottage was mostly used for weekend getaways, so it needed a little sprucing up. It sat back from the street on a large piece of property overlooking a storybook pond, complete with a wooden dock and little white rowboat. The grounds around the house were meticulously kept so we were relieved that the brunt of our work that weekend would be just cleaning the inside of the cottage and meeting with the florist and caterer. We were completely consumed with wedding details until Sunday when we headed back home.

“Okay, Mia, talk to me,” Jenny said, her gaze never leaving the road.

I had a feeling Jenny already knew something by her reaction when I got into the car Friday.

“Did you know Will was seeing someone?”

“Yes. He brought her to Tyler’s on Thursday… He asked if he could bring her to the wedding.” She finally glanced over at me, gauging my reaction. I nodded. “I was going to tell you, but I wasn’t sure if you already knew… I mean after all, you live with him. What does it matter anyway?” There was hint of irritation in her tone.

“I walked in on him screwing her brains out in the shower.”