Sweet Thing (18 page)

“Bye, Will.” I turned and rushed up the stairs as tears fell from my eyes.

Over the next two weeks, I became insanely productive and determined. I talked to Sheil about doing some studio work, Jenny and I had our final dress fittings, and I bought a violin and practiced day and night on it. I hardly saw Will; he was spending a lot of time at Audrey’s. One day in passing he told me that he had agreed to let Frank manage him. He said there would be a lot more shows coming up and then he asked if I wanted to accompany him on the piano or violin at certain shows. I told him I would absolutely love that. It seemed like a departure for me to want to play live shows or to be involved in the music scene at all, but I started embracing it when I realized how truly excited I was at the prospect of playing more. The business degree still lingered in my mind, but like Martha said, I needed to teach my heart and mind how to sing together.

One night while I was alone in the apartment I took Will’s four-track recorder and his laptop and started recording some music I’d written. I completed one song, which sounded like it could be a piece from a movie score. The piano track was slow and simple, with very fast rhythmic intervals. I created a haunting tone with the Wurlitzer, which I used to accent the piano track. During the fast intervals, I played a dark, driving violin riff. When I was happy with the finished song, I burned it on a CD and left it on Will’s bed. I scribbled with a sharpie,

One piece from the soundtrack of my life
The next day was Friday, the day before Jenny’s wedding, and I planned to head out to the cottage with her that night. It was slow at Kell’s for a Friday. As I stared out the café window, I saw Will come out of the record store across the street. He took a cigarette from behind his ear and lit it. When he saw me in the window, he smiled really big, then threw the cigarette down dramatically and stomped on it. He swung his backpack around and pulled out a CD. He pointed to it and yelled, “It’s fucking awesome!” I loved that he liked my song. Right then Audrey came strolling out of the store as a cab pulled up. She waved to me while Will yelled, “I’ll see you at the wedding.” And then they hopped in the taxi and sped away.

Jenny and I rode out to South Hampton that night along with Jackson. We danced in our seats and sang at the top of our lungs the entire way there; it was Jenny’s sad excuse for a bachelorette party. I’d tried to plan one for her but she told me the last five years of her life had been one long bachelorette party. Tyler must have felt the same way because he didn’t have a bachelor party either. Jenny didn’t even want a wedding shower; she was satisfied with one day at the cottage with thirty of their closest friends and family.

“So what is Will gonna play?” I asked Jenny, realizing we had never talked about it.

“Just ceremony music, some acoustic guitar. He wrote us a really beautiful instrumental piece, so I’m going to walk down the aisle to that.”

“That’s wonderful. He’s so good and I can’t wait to hear him play.”

“Yeah, he is. He asked if we cared if Audrey played the finger cymbals on one of the songs. I guess she told him that she always feels left out cause she’s not a musician, so he taught her how to play the fucking finger cymbals,” she said the last part giggling.

I started laughing. “God, I know it’s terrible to be mean ‘cause she’s so nice, but man, she is way, way too happy. She’s happy and nice to the point where I feel like an asshole just being around her.”

“Yeah, I’m sure she has flaws, everybody does,” Jenny said and then turned up the radio.

Once we got to the cottage we went straight to bed. The next morning Jenny’s mom showed up along with Karen, a friend of Jenny’s from high school. The four of us had the task of setting up the tables and chairs. The wedding was to start at three; we had our work cut out for us. Jenny wanted to be back in the cottage by noon so we would all have plenty of time to get ready. It was a beautiful morning; the pond glistened behind a rose-covered wrought-iron archway set up for the ceremony. Once the florist arrived, the setting really started to come alive with rose pedals lining the aisle and gorgeous centerpieces made of Casablanca lilies and pastel-colored flowers on each table. After sweating for hours, we took a little water break.

“Why aren’t Tyler and Will here doing this?” I asked.

“Tyler can’t see me today, duh, and I like being in control of this stuff anyway. I guess Will and Audrey are staying at a little bed and breakfast this weekend, making a mini-vacay out it, so I didn’t want to ask them.”

“How adorable.”

“Stop,” Jenny said, stretching the word out. Just then a truck came backing into the side yard. Jenny yelled at the driver, “I want it right there under that trellis! Thanks!”

Two men wheeled an old upright piano on to the back lift gate of the truck.

“You rented a piano?” I said with excitement.

“I couldn’t let my piano virtuoso BFF get overshadowed by finger-cymbal girl.”

I laughed. “Thank you, Jenny, but I didn’t prepare anything.”

“It’s just for fun after the ceremony. You and Will can mess around on it.” I smiled mischievously at her. “Musically, I mean. Get your head out of the gutter, Mia Pia, we got a wedding to put on,” she said as she pulled me toward the house.

Track 12: Prayer for Each Other

“You look incredible!” I said to Jenny as she stood in front of the mirror in her wedding dress. It was a simple ecru gown with long, straight lines. The thick straps hugged the outside of her shoulders, showing off her whole neckline. She wore her curly blond hair in an updo with a few stray strands hanging down. Her friend Karen and I had matching coral knee-length dresses that echoed the bodice of Jenny’s dress with thick off-the-shoulder straps. We both wore our hair in simple updos.

Jenny’s wedding colors were shades of coral, pink, tan, and burnt orange; it was very summer-cottage inspired and very romantic. There were roses everywhere and the cake was simply a tower of macaroons, each tier a different whimsical color. Guests were starting to arrive. Through the window I saw Jenny’s mom giving orders like a drill sergeant. I finally saw where Jenny got her spunk and assertiveness. The caterer was ready, the seats in front of the archway were filling up and I saw Will and Audrey seated off to the side of the aisle. Will was strumming the black Gibson and I could see a shimmer in Audrey’s hand from the finger cymbals. How cute, I thought sarcastically.

When I saw Tyler standing at the front of the aisle with Jenny’s little brother, I knew it was time.

“This is it, Jenny, you ready?”

“I was born ready.” Jenny was by far the calmest bride I had ever seen.

Karen went first and then I went, walking out of the cottage and down the aisle. I smiled as I walked slowly toward the archway. Will was seated at the front, off to the side, playing an acoustic version of “At Last,” accompanied by Audrey clanking the finger cymbals at all the wrong times. Clearly Audrey was musically challenged, but she looked cute in her pink chiffon dress and stiletto heels. When I reached the front, I noticed all the guests except for Will had turned to watch Jenny come down the aisle. He starting playing an original song I didn’t recognize and I figured it was Jenny and Tyler’s, but he was looking right at me while he played it. He winked and I smiled and then he finally turned toward the aisle. He always wanted to make sure I knew he was acknowledging me. I definitely noticed him, how could I miss him? He looked like the cover love child of
GQ
and
Rolling Stone
. He wore a gray suit with a white shirt and a thin black tie. His hair looked like he’d run his hands through it with a touch of gel and then I thought maybe Audrey had run her hands through it in their cozy room at the B&B. Ugh.

As Jenny walked toward the aisle, I looked at the crowd and recognized the back of a few heads. Dustin for one was easy to spot; he had the same suit as Will except he had a matching gray baseball cap on backward… ridiculous. I saw Sheil wearing a beige sari and Martha in a flowy hippie dress.

Jenny came walking down the aisle on her handsome father’s arm. She was every bit the beautiful bride. She looked extremely self-assured and radiant. I glanced over at Tyler, who was on the verge of jumping up and down; he was smiling from ear to ear with satisfaction and happiness.

Although Jenny and Tyler were not the traditional type, they’d decided to have a traditional ceremony with the standard vows. That morning I’d told Jenny I was surprised Tyler didn’t want to read a poem. She said they had each written a private wedding prayer that they planned to read to each other later that night. She said Will gave her the idea; that made my heart melt.

After they said their “I do’s” we all clapped and cheered. Will played their song as we followed them to the tables on the grass overlooking the pond. There were Chinese lanterns and the little round carnival lights everywhere, it looked magical as the sun set. The DJ set up and started playing some Frank Sinatra while our dinner was served. I sat with the wedding party across from a table where our little East Village crowd sat.

Will came up to me during dinner. “You look stunning.” He hugged me and whispered, “as usual.” I smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

“I love the song you wrote for Jenny and Tyler, it was really sweet.”

“Thanks. Save me a dance, okay, pretty baby?”

“I’d love to.”

After dinner Jenny’s little brother Kevin, who was the best man, gave a nice speech about wanting a big brother and how he sure got one in the seven-foot-tall Tyler. When it was my turn, I looked out to the small crowd of guests and felt a lump form in my throat. I was really happy and even though I hadn’t known any of those people long, I realized they were my family.

Jenny and Tyler,
You are a lovely couple and I am so thrilled and honored to be a part of this. I’m not great at speeches, but I love you guys and I want to play you something if that’s all right with everyone?
The crowd clapped and cheered me on, but I heard Will yell the loudest, “Yeah, baby!” The guests crowded around the upright as I starting playing “All of Me,” a new-age classical piece by a guy named Jon Schmidt. It’s a fast, vibrant song with dizzying movements and spiraling notes, but it’s an eternally happy song and that’s why I chose it. It’s a hard piece to play because it’s so fast; my hands literally blur in front of my eyes. It’s such an electrifying feeling that I find myself lost in it, playing frantically and moving to the rhythms. I wanted to express to Jenny and Tyler everything I would have liked to say in a speech but couldn’t, and I think I did with the song. When I was finished, the group surrounding me was literally stunned.

“Wow, Mia, that was epic!” Tyler shouted. I looked up at Will, who had a huge grin on his face like he always knew I had it in me. Jenny was crying happily, so I stood up and gave her a big hug and then I pushed the piano bench out perpendicular to the piano.

I looked at Will. “You have your harp?” He nodded and pulled a harmonica from his pocket. I gestured for him to sit on the bench. “Let’s have some fun.” We sat back to back as I began playing some loud boogie-woogie blues. Will added dramatic and soulful riffs with the harmonica. The guests clapped along as we played, getting faster and faster. Will turned and straddled me, then kicked his leg up on the high keys and started banging his heel to the beat. Everyone was laughing and cheering us on. He pulled his leg down and then there were four hands on the piano and he was playing with me, his chest flush with my back. His hands started on the outside of mine and then when the tune changed he reached one hand under my arm, brushing intimately close to me. Our hands alternated as he played right along with me on the same keys in a lower octave. We were so connected. I felt his warm breath on my neck. When I leaned back against him and closed my eyes the cheering got louder; the crowd understood the difficulty of what we were doing. When it was over everyone clapped. I turned and gave Will a big smooch on the cheek. “You’re rad,” I said to him.

“Everything’s rad,” he said, smiling.

“I know, right.”

I followed Jenny around a little and made sure she had everything she needed. The DJ played some hip-hop music so of course the wedding party had to have a dance off on the little makeshift grassy dance floor we’d created. After Jenny kicked everyone’s ass by pulling out all the stops and yanking her dress up to do the Michael Jackson splits, I skipped up to the cottage to grab a sweater. There were only two bedrooms in the cottage—the smaller one I was staying in and the one that Jenny’s parents would stay in that night. Jenny and Tyler were getting swept away to some secret spot his parents had paid for and most of the other guests were either going back to the city or staying in a hotel nearby.

I opened the door and noticed right away a couple was in the room. They didn’t notice me because they were partially hidden by an old-fashioned privacy screen, plus they were… occupied. I squinted my eyes but couldn’t make out exactly what I was seeing and then I heard what was sadly becoming a familiar sound: Audrey and Will having sex. I backed out of the room, begging the universe to let me remain unseen. I shut the door and turned around to walk away when I ran smack into Will’s chest.

“Have you seen Audrey?” he said. I did a double-take. I must have looked as confused as I felt. Who the heck was in there with Audrey?

It wouldn’t be long before I found out. “What, Mia?” he said seriously and then Dustin walked out of the room and stood behind me, closing the door behind him. Will glanced at Dustin and then back at me. He looked dumbfounded and ruined like he was going to cry and then he whispered, “Oh no. Really? Really, Mia? You and him?”

Dustin and I stood there frozen and then with perfectly shitty timing Audrey opened the door and walked out. It was only a matter of seconds that we stood there, but it felt like an eternity. I couldn’t find the words to tell Will that I wasn’t part of it. His voice suddenly got loud and high. “What?” he said through crazy laughter. He was laughing and it was scary and then his expression turned to bewilderment and then disgust. “The three of you? What the fuck?” He turned on his heel and headed down the hallway, waving his arms around and mumbling something I was sure none of us could understand.

I turned and looked at Audrey and Dustin. “You guys are serious assholes. You should leave.” They looked blankly at me like idiots. I ran after Will, but I was a ways behind him. Every one of the guests watched as Will grabbed a giant bottle of whiskey and headed toward the dock. “What are you doing, Will?” I yelled after him.

I noticed Audrey and Dustin hadn’t taken my advice yet, because they came rolling out behind me. When I got to the top of the dock Will had already rowed himself to the middle of the pond in the tiny wooden boat. “Come back, Will, let’s talk,” I said, pleading with him.

“I’m not. Talking. To. You.
Ever
!” It was lunatic Will.

He stood up in the boat, looked at me, Dustin, and Audrey and flipped us off with both hands, then yelled, “Fuck all of you!” And then he lost his balance and the boat started rocking. He fell but sat right back up and started rowing away. “Don’t look for me!” he yelled as he rowed farther into the darkness.

All the wedding guests looked on with amusement. I looked at Jenny and mouthed, “Sorry.” As I turned to head back toward the cottage, I stopped in front of Dustin and Audrey, “Come on, the screw-happy drummer? So cliché, both of you. Just leave.” They turned and headed for their cars without a word.

I went to cottage and finally got that sweater and then I exchanged my heels for some Converse, grabbed a flashlight, and headed back out. The pond was only about the size of a football field and there was an easy-to-navigate footpath around the entire thing. I walked around to the other side where I found Will sitting in the boat on the shore, taking continuous swigs of whiskey.

“Will?” I said in a low voice.

“Don’t fucking come near me, Mia. I swear to God I will row myself into the middle of that Goddamn pond and stay there till next year.”

I stood still and spoke calmly. “I walked into the room and thought you and Audrey were having sex. I couldn’t see who it was behind the screen. I tried to sneak back out and that’s when I ran into you. I was confused.”

“Go away, Mia.”

I knew Will believed me because he knew me, but he was hurting and I wished I could comfort him. I looked back at the wedding where I could see the party winding down and people leaving. Seeing the lights from a place so dark was enchanting, but it made me sad that two people who were supposed to care about him had ruined such a beautiful place for Will. I went back to the wedding where everyone was cleaning up. I worried about Will, but he was surprisingly responsible for someone who could act so erratically. I knew he wouldn’t do anything stupid.

We sent Jenny and Tyler off in a fancy old car and then it was just Jenny’s parents and me. I said goodnight to them and showered and then crawled into bed wearing my underwear and Clash T-shirt. I was asleep within minutes.

Lying on my side, I started awake and glanced at the clock. It was five thirty a.m. and I had my typical reaction. Whenever I drink or stay up late, it never fails, I always wake up way too early and then I get anxiety over the fact that I didn’t get enough sleep, which prevents be from going back to sleep. It’s a vicious cycle and it’s annoying as hell. My mind also wandered to Will; it was getting light out, so it was that coldest time in the morning before the sun is up. I turned over and gasped when I found him next to me, fully clothed in his suit and shoes, lying on top of the quilt and sound asleep. He smelled like a whiskey distillery but looked like a pallid child. My heart ached for him. I crawled out of bed, careful not to make any noise. I untied his laces and gently pulled his shoes and socks off. He moaned and mumbled something in his sleep. I lifted his loosened tie over his head and then I reached for his belt. The moment I touched it, he grabbed my wrist and held it. He looked at me through squinted eyes. “I got it,” he murmured. “Come back to bed.”

He stood up and stripped down to his boxers and then slid back into bed, curling behind me and pulling me tightly into his chest. He slid his hand under my shirt and clutched my side. His long fingers easily wrapped around me and came to rest centimeters below my breast. When he hitched his long leg over me, I was completely cocooned by him and it felt like heaven.

“Are you okay?” I said quietly.

“I am now.” There was a long pause and then I felt him kiss my hair before whispering, “It hurt more when I thought it was you.” I smiled, perfectly tranquil, and then within minutes we were both asleep again.

When I woke up I was lying on my back, Will was on his side curled up next to me, his body dovetailed with mine and his head resting on my stomach. I was mindlessly running my hands through his hair when I realized how incredibly intimate our positions were. He stirred sleepily and then his hands moved to my hips where he twisted his fingers in the waistband of my underwear. When I felt him hard against me, I jerked away, sat up, and threw my legs over the side of the bed. He rolled over away from me and mumbled, “Sorry, baby.” His voice was strained and raspy.

Leaning in, I kissed his shoulder and whispered, “Get some sleep.”

Don’t complicate things!
I chanted that line over and over in my head as I gaped at Will’s arms and hands and imagined them everywhere, all over me.

I threw on some sweats and headed for the tiny cottage kitchen to start coffee when I found a note from Jenny’s parents saying that they’d headed back to Jersey. They’d left the Jeep and directions to their house where I could drop it off. While I made coffee and cleaned up the cottage, I heard Will get into the shower. He came out dressed in the only clothes he had—his gray suit pants and the white dress shirt, the tails tucked in and the top buttons open and sleeves rolled up on his forearms. If it weren’t for his sparkling new pair of black Converse, his style might have resembled the banker’s; he even had a typical suit belt on and no wallet chain. He ran his hand through his wet hair as he watched me survey his appearance.

“Weird, huh?”

“Kind of, but I like it. Coffee?”

“Please. Thank you.” I handed him a mug. As he sipped his coffee, I noticed he seemed distant, distracted. “I need to get my stuff from the place Audrey and I were staying.” There was vague sadness in his tone.

“Of course. I can take you there. Let me just straighten up and jump in the shower and then we’ll go.” He nodded.

After my shower, I threw on a sundress and flip-flops and decided to let my hair air-dry. Will and I put all the windows down on the Jeep so we could enjoy the warm September air. He looked at me and stuck his hand out for the keys.

“Do you know how to drive?”

“Of course. You’re in luck, I have a commercial driver’s license. I used to drive a school bus in Detroit,” he said with a beaming smile.

I laughed at the image of Will driving a bus. “You’re kidding me. I can’t see you driving a school bus. When?”

“About five years ago, right before I moved out here. I love kids; I had so much fun. I had a lot of odd jobs in Detroit.” After Will lifted Jackson into the back seat, I handed him the keys.

“Okay, I trust you.”

As we got on the road, I looked over at him. He was wearing his black Wayfarer sunglasses and bobbing his head to the Cars, playing on the radio. Like everything else he did, he was a completely self-assured driver.

“So what other kind of odd jobs did you have in Detroit?”

He laughed to himself. “The first job I ever had was in a newly remodeled mall when I was sixteen. They had a lot of publicity and promotional garbage going on because of the new stores, so I got paid to walk around dressed as a giant soccer ball and wave to all the kids and stuff like that.” I was stifling a giggle. “There was a football and a baseball and a couple of other characters. People from my high school used to go and push us over. The costumes were so bulky that it was practically impossible to get back on your feet without help, so I would just lay there flailing around, going,
Come on, guys, help me
out
.” I was laughing hysterically at that point. Will was never too proud and I loved it. He glanced over at me and started laughing too. “What about you? What kind of jobs did you have in Ann Arbor?”

“I never really worked before Kell’s; my parents and grandparents supported me through college. Before my dad died, I was studying for the MSAT to go to grad school, so I gave piano lessons, but that was it.” He nodded. “Why didn’t you go to college, Will?”

“I don’t know; it just wasn’t in the cards. My brother and some of my sisters did, but it would have been tough on my parents. I audited a ton of classes at Adrian College, so I kind of got a free education.”

“What kind of classes?”

“Music, sound mixing, media technology, and a few others along those lines.”

“That’s cool. I wondered how you knew so much about that stuff.”

Will turned up the radio and accelerated as I leaned back and absorbed the sun on my face. He smiled warmly at me and for a few minutes I think we were both completely content.

We pulled up to a beautiful, bright yellow colonial house; the sign said
Merry Way Inn
. It was charming and cheery, but the look on Will’s face was anything but. He looked like he was going to be sick.

“Do you want me to go in and get your stuff?” I asked gently.

“No, I should go…. Fuck Spoon Guy and American Pie,” he said.

“Yeah, totally. You’re better off.”

“I guess. Will you come with me, though?”

“Of course.”

We walked in through the front door and up a small staircase. A woman who I assume was the innkeeper eyed Will, but he smiled and waved as if it were usual business. When we got to the room, he ran his hands through his hair nervously before knocking. There was no answer. He fished a key from his pocket, unlocked the door, and walked in. The room was large and decorated in various floral patterns. The comforter and pillows on the king-size bed were strewn about. I thought I heard Will dry heave before he walked to the window to gaze out.