Sweet Thing (24 page)

I woke up from the early morning light accosting me through the window and found myself lying in my bed, under the covers, wearing the wrinkled and scrunched-up sundress around my waist. My bedroom door was open and it occurred to me that Will must have come into my room and put me in bed after my pathetic ass passed out. Staring at the ceiling, I wondered how the independent and shrewd Mia of one year ago could find herself drowning in the pitiful depths of a quarter-life crisis; it Just. Seemed. So. Dull. I was running away full board into a plain old ordinary existence—when I had angels singing, heart-thrashing love reaching out for me, why couldn’t I allow myself to let him in?

I heard the front door close and the familiar sound of Will skipping down the stairs. I knew I had to do something quickly. I flew with supersonic speed down the hallway to the kitchen window to yell “Stop” to Will before he left. When I reached the window, I swallowed hard at the sight of Sonja down on the street, leaning against a town car, waiting for Will. Her platinum hair and ruby-red lips could have been seen from space. I blinked away tears so that I could get a clearer view of Will walking toward the car. He bent down and gave Sonja a swift kiss on the cheek; she smiled and opened the door for him. In what parallel universe does my Will have a celebrity opening doors for him, I thought.

I felt bile rise, my bad choices from the night before were not helping my situation. Frank moved into view and I watched as he hopped into the front seat after holding the back door open for Sonja to get in. Will and Sonja sitting in the back of the town car, headed toward their private jet… how nice. I wondered if he had his hand on the little sprite’s leg as they drove off.

Track 16: Lies, Lies, Lies

Days went by without word from Will until finally I came home to the message light blinking.

Mia, I’m here. It’s warm, but feels colder… I miss you guys. Call me.
Will was rarely that curt, which left me with a sinking feeling. I couldn’t sit around the apartment anymore and debate whether I should call him, so I went back to Kell’s to help Jenny close. The café was empty and Jenny was mopping the floor when I walked in. “What are you doing back?” She looked at me, eyebrow raised.

“I was bored. I’ve been meaning to ask you, are you and Tyler going to keep trying for a baby?”

“Of course. Some things are just out of our control, you know? That wouldn’t stop us from trying to have a family.” She said it almost as if my question was offensive.

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“I know I was a mess that day, but I knew it wasn’t meant to be, otherwise it wouldn’t have happened.” Once again, Jenny was able to simplify something that seemed like a labyrinth of thoughts, feelings, and hard decisions in my mind.

“Will called here looking for you right after you left. Did he catch you at the apartment?”

“No, I must have just missed him. He left a message, though.”

She walked around to my side so she could see my face as I washed the dishes. “Did you call him back?” It was like she was asking a child.

“No.”

“Did something happen between you two?”

“What did he say?”

She sucked in a loud breath as her jaw dropped to the floor. In slow motion her mouth curled into the largest smug grin I had ever seen. “What did you guys do?” Her eyes were bugging out of her head.

“Nothing! I just wanted to know what he said when you talked to him.”

“I don’t believe you. Anyway I knew I sensed something from my conversation with him. He just asked how everything was going for me and Tyler, then he asked about Jackson, and then he got really quiet before saying he needed to talk to you.”

A shiver ran through my body as I swallowed hard.

“You need to call him. And you should tell me what happened so I can help you pull your head out of your ass.”

“Geeze, Jenny, take it easy on me. We had a moment, we didn’t even kiss… really.”

“What does that mean? I saw you guys kiss at midnight.”

“We didn’t kiss kiss, though. Later on when I was cutting his hair.” Her mouth fell open again. “I sat on his lap and things got a little crazy; I stopped it and stormed off to my room… and then I passed out and didn’t even get to say goodbye.”

“So you led him on again and rejected him and then couldn’t even roll your ass out of bed to say goodbye?”

“I heard him leave in the morning so I ran to the window… I saw Sonja waiting for him with a town car.”

“Sonja was at your apartment? Oh my god, how awesome!”

“Jenny, please, she’s probably in the process of seducing Will as we speak.”

“Don’t be silly, Will is no dummy.” She paused for long second. “He’s in love with you.” She said it deadpan as she stared into my eyes, waiting for a response.

“How do you know?”

“I can tell and anyway, he told me. I believe his exact words were
cosmic, soul-shattering, air in your lungs kind of love
.”

That sounded like something he would say, but it hurt to hear it from Jenny. “Will loves everyone. Anyway, why didn’t he tell me himself and why are you telling me now?”

“He asked me not to; he said he wanted you to figure things out. He wants you to be happy.”

The following week flew by like I was watching it on a movie screen in fast motion. I still had not called Will back. I received a postcard of a fishbowl with one tiny little lost goldfish soul in it. There was a line on the back in Will’s handwriting,

WISH YOU WERE HERE-

He didn’t sign his name. Later that day at the café, I let my curiosity get the best of me. I went into the back office, which was a glorified broom closet with a computer, and I did an Internet search. I typed in “Will Ryan” and immediately found a video link titled “Sonja and new guy Will Ryan sing a duet.”

The video was from the concert that had taken place the night before in San Francisco. It was posted by a Sonja fan, so I doubted they had the inside track on anyone’s personal life, yet the title still caught my interest.

The video started with Sonja at the microphone introducing Will. “Hey, everybody! If you were here to see this guy open the show, then you know how much he fucking rocks!” I rolled my eyes at that line but continued watching the torturous spectacle. “I talked him into coming back out to sing a song with me, so here he is, my new favorite person, Will Ryan.” The crowd cheered. Will sauntered out onstage sans guitar, which was completely out of character for him. When he took a seat at the piano, I gasped. He proceeded to play the opening riff of The Rolling Stones’ “Wild Horses.” It was a song I’d played for Will many times. I knew he could play the piano a little, but he was a much better guitarist, so I could only deduce that he was somehow playing the song to me, at least I hoped that was the case. His voice sounded pained while his eyes focused fervently on the piano keys. He played a beautiful and extremely slow version. When he sang, he held out the words until there was no music, it was just the sound of his voice slicing through the silence. He increased the tempo and volume on the piano as Sonja stood at the front of the stage and sang the second verse, quite well I must admit, even though it seemed like Will was trying to drown out her voice. No matter what was going on or how innocent the intention, these two people were singing an intensely romantic song; people were going to make assumptions. When they were through, Will got up and Sonja walked over to him, stood on her toes, and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He didn’t react, which was unusual for Will, who made it commonplace to kiss his friends on the lips. He blew a kiss out to audience and waved as he walked out of view. He never once smiled the entire time he was onstage. Even through the jealousy, my heart still ached for him.

The video ended as the intrusive ringing of the café phone startled me out of my seat. “Kell’s,” I said abruptly.

Will let out a long breath. “Baby! How are you?

I hesitated. “I’m good.” Lies. Lies. Lies. What I should have said was that I missed him like crazy after only a week and a half.

“I played “Wild Horses” last night on the piano, but it didn’t hold a candle to your version. Sonja sang it with me.” He said the last part with zero enthusiasm.

“How is Sonja?”

“She’s a pain in the ass.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, she’s a spoiled little brat and I’m starting to think this whole arrangement was made to appease her and not the label.”

“Well, she seems to really like you, doesn’t she?” I said with feigned excitement.

Will was silent for a long beat. “Who cares, Mia?”

“Are you mad?”

“No. Just tired.” He took another long breath. “I don’t like it here, everyone on this tour sucks. The label wants me to be something I’m not and it scares the shit out of me. I miss you—I miss my friend and you act like you couldn’t care less.”

“That’s not true. I miss you, too. I was just worried because of what happened the night before you left.”

“We were both fucked up. Okay? It was little slip, one I don’t regret. You’re beautiful and amazing and I’ve never wanted anyone more in my entire life and I wouldn’t even call it a slip if it weren’t for the fact that you want nothing to do with me in that way.”

“You’re being irrational and little melodramatic.”

“Am I?” His tone was icy at best.

“I don’t want to fight with you while you’re away. Please. Let’s talk about the shows.”

In a completely pragmatic voice he began spewing information. “We’ve done San Francisco, now we’re in LA so Second Chance Charlie can shoot a video. We’ll do a show here in a few days, then San Diego and back to LA for the studio stuff. I don’t even know why we’re here, we could have come home between shows. It’s a joke. The drummer they got me sucks and Nate is being a whiny bitch about it. The food we eat is terrible, everyone on this tour is fake, Sonja being the queen of fakeness, but still everyone kisses her ass. She wanted me to go onstage and play guitar on a some stupid fucking song she wrote when she was twelve and I said no, so she stomped around before the show until Frank finally told her that I couldn’t play the song, which was a lie. I could play that fucking song in a coma, I just refused. And that’s it, nothing to write home about.”

“Hang in there, buddy, you’ll be headlining your own shows soon.”

“I have to go. Say hi to everyone for me. I’ll call you later.”

There was silence. I think we were both searching for the right words. “Bye, Will. Be careful.”

“Bye. You too. Lock up, pet Jackson for me.” And then he hung up.

Another week and half went by; I barely spoke to him. Apparently he was busy having dinner with the spoiled brat who annoys him because it was all over the gossip magazines. I stood in the corner market staring at a picture of him leading Sonja out of a swanky restaurant in LA. His head was down and it was nighttime but he was wearing his sunglasses. Sonja was smiling happily at the cameras. The caption read:

Sonja seen with her older man at LA hotspot “Fray.”

His name wasn’t listed in the caption, but there was no question it was Will. I stared at the picture, hoping that his face would come to life and look up so that I could see that he was pissed off for having to drag the little brat out. Instead I had to live with the possibility that she had grown on him and he was protecting her from the photographers.

My eyes welled up. I glanced behind the counter at Benton, who looked at me compassionately. He slid a mini bottle of tequila across the counter toward me and then pointed to the chocolate bars and nodded. I took my tequila and chocolate home where there was a message from Will waiting for me.

I’ve been trying to get a hold of you. Call me, okay, baby? I talked to Jenny, she said you’re fine but I want to hear your voice.
I ignored it. I drank my tequila, ate my chocolate bar and went to bed.

At the café the next day, I told Jenny about the magazine and she told me to get over it, but I didn’t… and I didn’t call him back.

A couple of days later as I walked home from the bank, I passed a familiar face on the street. I stopped in my tracks, turned, and scanned his features while he did the same. It was Jason Bennett, but all grown up. He was the one and only kid in the Village I hung out with during those summers with my father. He’d lived across the street from Kell’s until I was twelve, when his whole family moved to South Africa. I was heartbroken when they left. We remained pen pals for a couple of years, but eventually lost touch.

“Mia Kelly?”

“Jason? Oh my god, I never thought I would see you here again.”

I reached up and gave him a hug and then leaned back and studied his face. I grabbed his chin. “You’re handsome.” Jason was short and very skinny with dark brown hair. He didn’t have any standout features, but he had a chiseled jaw and he was a much better-looking adult than he was a kid.

“You’re gorgeous, but you always were.”

“Thanks. It’s so good to see you. How are you and what are you doing here?”

“I’m fantastic. I wanted to bring my fiancé here to show her where I grew up.” Just as he said that, a striking Asian woman walked out of the corner market and stood next to him.

“Laura, this is the Mia I told you about. Mia, this is Laura.”

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you.” She stuck her hand out and I shook it and smiled. I noticed she had a very prominent English accent and Jason’s accent was similar but more subtle.