Sweet Thing (23 page)

When it was time to go to bed, Will offered to sleep on the couch. “No way,” I said, “I want to cuddle.” He smiled and laughed.

Will looked at my mom, who shrugged and said, “She wants to cuddle.” I curled into Will under the covers of my childhood bed. I was asleep in minutes and I got the most restful sleep I’d had in months.

Opening my eyes, I realized I was using Will’s chest as a pillow. I peeked up and found him wide awake, staring at the ceiling. “You talkin’ to God?”

“Something like that,” he murmured.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I have a lot on my mind. We need to get home. I want to put another dead bolt on the door and make the sure the smoke detectors have batteries and the furnace is working before I leave. Plus, I need to get all my equipment together. I’m just stressed about the next couple of days.”

“Will Ryan, are you worried about me?”

“I’m always worried about you.”

“We’ll get it done. I’ll help, and don’t worry about me; I’ll be fine. Do you want to spend New Year’s Eve at the apartment? We can have Jenny and Tyler over to give you a proper sending off?”

“Okay… I’d love that,” he said with a conflicted look on his face. He smiled bleakly and then kissed the top of my head before rolling out of bed.

Track 15: Hallelujah

We flew home that day and got right to work on preparing for Will to leave. Over the next couple of days we were completely consumed with chores. Will did a whole crazy safety check on the apartment while I was at the Laundromat doing his laundry. I stole two T-shirts out of the pile; I figured I would need them to cuddle up with in the weeks to come.

On New Year’s Eve while Will was out with Frank, I made a cake and got ready for our little party. I told Jenny it was going to be a California theme, whatever that means. I cranked up the heater in the apartment and put on a sundress and flip-flops while the snow was falling heavily outside. I drew a palm tree and wrote “Surf’s Up, Wilbur” on the cake. Jenny and Tyler showed up before Will got back.

After they both stripped off three layers, Jenny revealed her Hawaiian-print dress and Tyler had a matching print shirt. “It was the closest thing we had,” she said, pointing to her dress and laughing. She pulled a joint out of her little purse. “Look what we brought. Let’s get stoned—it’s totally California.”

“Oh my god, Jenny, you guys kill me. Will could definitely use that, he’s been a loon the last couple of days. He really hates flying.”

“No… he’s worried about leaving you,” she said, smiling at me.

“Oh, well, it will be fun at any rate.”

Will came through the door looking beat. He patted Jackson on the head before looking up at us with a huge smile. “You guys look ridiculous—it’s twenty-four degrees outside.”

“We got pot,” Jenny said in a singsong voice as she waved the joint around.

Will wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off the ground in a bear hug. “Oh, sweet, sweet Jenny.”

Tyler came over and high-fived Will. “Congratulations, man! You better make us proud.”

“It’s not that big of a deal you guys, seriously. I haven’t’ signed a deal, I’m just doing three shows.”

“But it’s a start. Quit being so freakin’ humble, Will. You deserve to celebrate, you’ve worked hard for this,” I said as I reached up to give him a peck on the cheek. “Now go strip down, you must be boiling in that.”

He came back out dressed in a white T-shirt, long black shorts that hung low on his hips, and the silver-studded belt. With his natural olive skin and disheveled hair, I thought he would fit in perfectly in California.

The four of us ate and had cake and champagne. None of us had any desire to fight the crowds in Times Square, but we thought we should at least watch the ball drop on the Dick Clark special. Our small little TV that we never used was on low as we sat talking at the kitchen table. When we heard the name Second Chance Charlie, we all jumped up and ran over to watch the performance. I knew the music and recognized the lead singer, Sonja, from the many magazine covers she graced. The band reminded me of a cross between the groups No Doubt and Paramour. Sonja jumped around a lot but had a really strong, sensual voice. She was beautiful, small, and graceful, and clearly the fantasy of many a teenage boy, which was the core of her audience. The band appealed mostly to the high school emo crowd. It didn’t really make sense for Will, with his white-boy rock and roll, to open up for them, but I figured his music wasn’t that simple to define and maybe he would capture a younger audience if he were marketed that way. After all, he was not only extremely talented, he was also good-looking and he had that whole sexy, broody thing going for him. After the performance during Sonja’s interview, she mentioned that she was flying to California first thing in the morning and that it would be long night.

“Are you guys on the same flight?” I asked.

“Yeah, we’re flying private. The record label chartered a plane.”

“Oh,” I said, wondering why he hadn’t shared that little tidbit with me.

“Hey, Will, why is the label having you open for them? It seems like kind of a different crowd.” Tyler said.

“I guess it is. I don’t know, the girl saw me play at the string festival and asked the label if they could get me to open for her. I kind of agreed to it just to buy more time before I have to make a decision.”

“I didn’t know she requested you—why didn’t you tell me?” I narrowed my eyes but tried to hide my jealousy.

“It seemed irrelevant,” he said, straight-faced.

Tyler tried to intervene. “So do you have a band you’re going to play with?”

“Yeah, basically pickup musicians and Nate. I got him, so I’m happy about that, but the other guys I barely know except from the few practices we’ve had.”

“Good for you, man. It sounds like a great opportunity; you have to keep us posted.”

“Definitely,” he said, but he was looking at me, trying to decipher the look on my face when he said it. I went into the kitchen and Will followed. “She’s a child, Mia; she’s eighteen years old, you have nothing to worry about.”

“Eighteen is an adult, not a child, and you can do whatever you want. We’re not together; I don’t even know why you’re saying this to me.”

“I’m saying it because it seemed like it bothered you.”

I looked into his eyes for a long second. He seemed troubled and concerned. “It doesn’t bother me, I promise.” I smiled and walked past him, grabbing the joint off the counter. “Let’s do this, people, it’s eleven o’clock. We have one hour until 2009!”

We sat on the couches and passed the joint around while Will dropped the needle on Patti Smith’s
Horses
from my father’s collection. He sat down on the couch next to me, taking the joint and inhaling. He blew a lungful of smoke out while simultaneously tapping his foot and singing the line
Jesus died for somebody’s sins but not mine
. We all burst into laughter.

“God, this is like fucking high school!” Tyler said.

“Except that this album was made before any of us were born.” Jenny giggled.

“All I would need is a Mickey’s forty and an empty football field and I’d be right back in my high school days,” Will said.

“Boone’s Farm, Strawberry Hill for me. What about you, Jenny?” I said, laughing.

“Wine coolers and nacho cheese Doritos… yuck. Tyler, your turn.”

“Mad Dog 20/20 and Taco Bell.”

“Why were we so gross back then?” I asked.

“No money,” Tyler said.

“We still have no money, but at least we have some dignity.”

“What are you talking about, Mia? Will has money.” Tyler looked at me, stupefied.

“Well he will, if he’d ever sign that deal.”

Will jumped up. “Let’s dance!”

We danced around like fools for a while and then I noticed that the countdown to the ball drop had started. “It’s time!” I yelled.

We all chanted, “Five… four… three… two… one.” I watched Jenny jump up and wrap her arms around Tyler, kissing him.

I glanced over to Will, who was watching me with the listening-to-God expression in his eyes. Looking down, I grabbed his hands in mine and then with a small smile and no words, I looked up and asked him for a kiss. His lips met mine gently; he lingered there, but didn’t ask for more. He tugged ever so slightly at my lower lip before pulling away. “Happy New Year, sweet thing,” he whispered.

“Happy New Year, Will.”

I glanced over to Tyler and Jenny, who were still making out. They stopped abruptly when they noticed us waiting for them. “Happy New Year, guys!” Tyler said.

We exchanged hugs and then Jenny caught Tyler’s eye again. “We’re gonna head out,” she said. I figured I knew why… honeymoon phase.

We said our goodbyes and walked them out to the landing. Will went to his room and started throwing stuff in a bag as I watched him from the doorway.

“Have you seen my white T-shirt… the longer one?”

“I’m keeping it,” I said, giggling. He looked up and smiled.

His hair had gotten quite a bit longer since I first met him. It was a disordered mess, falling in his face. “Do you want me to cut your hair?”

“You?” He said it like it was the most preposterous idea he had ever heard.

“Yeah, I used to cut my father’s hair. I can do it.”

He appraised me. “Did you cut your father’s hair while you were stoned and drunk?”

“No, but I can do it,” I said, laughing, “Come on, buddy, I’ll get the scissors.” I grabbed the scissors from the bathroom and kicked off my shoes. Will followed me to the kitchen. “Take off your shirt,” I said as I pulled a chair away from the table. He obliged but stood in front of me before sitting down. I sucked in a breath as I let my eyes trail from his chest down and back up again. “Sit,” I said in a raspy voice. I put Damien Rice on the iPod dock, hoping it would help me concentrate. I really didn’t want to mess up Will’s hair, but his shirtless chest was causing a bit of a distraction for me.

He shook his head and stood up. “I can’t let you do this; it’s crazy.”

“It’s just hair. Sit down, Wilbur, or I’ll tie you to this chair.” He raised his eyebrows and shot me a sexy half smile.

I was very careful as I cut the back and sides. I combed his hair down over his eyes and trimmed as much as I could while I stood on each side of him. When it was time to trim the front, I threw my leg over his, straddling him on the chair. He sucked in a breath but kept his eyes closed. “Tell me you didn’t cut your father’s hair like this?”

“Quiet, silly, I’m concentrating. Almost done…” His hands moved to my thighs. I trimmed the last little bit and then put the comb and scissors in one hand while I brushed his hair off his face with the other. He opened his eyes and simultaneously gripped my legs. Searching his face, I saw a vaguely defeated look wash over him. His eyes kissed mine and then his hands moved higher under my dress; I thought I heard him moan softly as his lips parted. I dropped the scissors and comb and rested my forearms on his shoulders while I continued running my fingers through his hair.

The champagne and pot, not to mention Damien Rice, were creating a heady atmosphere in the kitchen that night. When I leaned forward slightly, I felt him hard beneath me and my body took over. I pressed down onto him and sucked in a breath. He gripped my hips and pulled me against him. I moved, grinding harder as I let a breathy “Ahh” escape. With my dress riding up around my waist, he leaned forward and placed one hand behind my neck, holding me as his mouth went to my collarbone. I let my head fall to the side while he trailed kisses up my throat. My inner thighs were quivering and I could feel the heat between my legs spreading up my body. He pulled me tighter against him and then with a heavy breath he whispered, “What are you doing to me?”

My dress strap fell off my shoulder. He seized the moment, pulling the top down on one side. I arched my back, offering myself to him as he kissed my breast, his tongue toying with my nipple. I squirmed in his arms but he pulled me even closer to him. He moved so fluidly that I felt myself lost in a rapture I had never experienced. This time the “Ahh” had a sound I couldn’t stifle as he kissed my body urgently. I continued to grind down on him while my hands moved frantically in his messy hair. I held him close to me and allowed myself to consume the feeling of our bodies melding together. There was a quickening pulse and dampness between my legs as I felt him pressing harder against me. His skilled fingers moved seamlessly from my stomach down the inside of my panties and when he touched me there, I lurched forward involuntarily and then jumped off.

He quickly reached out for me. “Just let me kiss your mouth,” he whispered, his eyes pleading. I pulled my dress back into place and squinted my eyes in disbelief. I felt like the last three minutes were the most erotic moments of my life, yet somehow there was no kissing on the lips… I blame the pot.

I stood there transfixed while he sat in the chair, searching my face for something. I was breathing heavy when I turned and ran off to my room. I slid down the back of the door and began to cry. When I heard him walk down the hallway, I tried to stifle my sobs. He stopped at my door; I could hear him breathing on the other side and then he said in the most heartrending voice, “I’m sorry baby.”

“Me, too.”

It wasn’t his fault, he didn’t need to apologize, but I knew him well enough to know he didn’t want us to leave each other that way. I had never wanted anyone so badly, my body ached for him as I sat on my floor wondering how I could make things right. I couldn’t give myself to Will mere hours before he would be leaving, but it was wrong of me to lead him on. I didn’t know how to fix it, so I curled up into a little ball next to my bed and went to sleep, feeling utterly wretched.