Sweetie's Diamonds (10 page)

“I think I'm gonna be a mailman when I grow up,” Billy joked.
 
David laughed.
 

The woman knelt before the mailman and undid his pants.
 
She released him and got to work without another word.

“Look how big that guy is!” Billy exclaimed.
 

“I don't believe it,” David said.

“He's fucking
huge
!”
 

“Yeah…”
 

But David wasn't getting any pleasure out of watching.
 
Something was definitely wrong and he couldn't quite put his finger on it.
 
He thought that maybe he was feeling guilty for watching his mom's tape and that he might get in a lot of trouble if she found out.
 
That was probably it.
 

“I think I better turn it off,” David said.

“No!
 
Let's keep watching!”

“My mom will be home soon.”

“Come on!
 
Look, she's gonna fuck him now!”

Sure enough, the woman straddled the man's waist and the boys could see exactly how it was done.
 
The camera came in uncomfortably close.
 
The woman's moans and the man's grunts filled the room.
 
The actors began a vigorous rocking that left nothing to the imagination.
 
Then the camera came in for another close-up on the woman.

“Shit, David,” Billy said.

“What.”

“Do you recognize her?”

“Who?”

“That lady!
 
In the movie!”

“No, why should I?”

“David!
 
Look close!”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“That's your mom!”

David felt his heart skip a beat.
 
A sudden sick sensation in his stomach nearly overwhelmed him.

“No it's not,” he said, weakly.

“Yes it is.
 
Look!”

“It's not her.
 
Don't be stupid.”

“David.
 
She's a lot younger but that's definitely her.
 
Don't you recognize her voice?
 
Look at her!
”

David couldn't help but look and in the process realized what had been bothering him.
 
It must have hit him subconsciously as soon as they had begun the tape but it hadn't registered.
 
Now it was completely clear.
 
As much as he wanted to disbelieve it, as much as he wanted to scream and deny the whole thing, what Billy said was true.

The woman performing sex on the tape was indeed his mother.

Both boys heard the faint slam of a car door.
 
It came from the apartment's one-car garage, adjacent to the kitchen.
 

“My mom's home!” David cried.
 
He jumped up, stopped the VCR, and ejected the tape.
 
He fumbled with it, trying to get it inside the blank box but couldn't seem to make it fit.
 

“Here!” Billy said as he grabbed it from his friend.
 
Billy got the cassette inside the case just as the kitchen door opened and Diane Boston walked in.
 
Billy held the tape behind his back.

“Hello boys,” Diane said.
 
“What's going on?”

“Oh, uh, we were just watching TV,” David said.
 

She looked and saw that the screen was dark.
 
“What's on?”

David turned and noticed the television.
 
“Nothing,” he said.
 
“We really need to get that cable!”
 

“They're coming next week,” Diane said.
 
She put her things on the kitchen counter.
 
“How are you, Billy?”

“Fine.”

“How's school?”

“Okay.”

She grinned and shook her head.
 
Billy was a boy of few words.
 
“Oh, I left something in the car.
 
Be right back.”
 
Diane went out through the kitchen door to the garage.
 
David followed her and watched his mother retrieve some poster board from the trunk.

“You need help?” David called.

“No, thank you, David.
 
I have to prepare some visuals for my sociology class,” she said.
 

Billy used this opportunity to quickly stuff the videotape into his backpack and zip it up.

When he and his mother were back inside, David turned off the TV and suggested to Billy, “Let's go in my room.”

“Okay.”

The boys disappeared, leaving Diane to stand and survey the boxes in the living room.
 
“David!” she called.
 
“I'm going to need your help in unpacking some of this stuff!”

“Okay, mom!” he shouted back.
 

Diane figured that if they could clear away everything from the living room, they might feel more at home.
 
There was still a lot of work to do.

Billy and David reemerged.
 
“I'm finished with this,” Billy said, indicating his Pepsi can.
 

“Oh, the recycling is in that paper bag in the kitchen,” Diane said.
 
She began to pull books out of one of the boxes.
 

Billy went into the kitchen, dropped his can into the bag, and headed straight for the front door.

“See you tomorrow, David,” he said.

“Bye, Billy,” Diane said.

“Yeah, see ya,” David echoed.
 
He didn't look at his friend.
 
Instead, his eyes were on his mother, who was now kneeling on the floor in front of the box of books.
 
She was in the same position as she had been in the video.
 

The sick feeling in David's stomach returned full force.

She looked up at him.
 
“What's wrong?”

“Huh?”

“You look funny.”

“I do?”
 
He shook his head and said, “Here, let me help.”
 

He bent over a box and ripped it open as a million thoughts cluttered his confused mind.

D
avid twisted the spaghetti with his fork and watched it gather sauce.
 
He sat with his head in one hand, his elbow on the table.
 

“Anything wrong, honey?” Diane asked.

The fork continued to slowly twirl the pasta.

“David?”

He looked up.
 
“Hmm?”

“Anything wrong?
 
You're playing with your dinner.”

“Oh.
 
I'm just not very hungry, mom.”
 
He took his elbow off the table and sat up straight.
 
“Sorry.”

“Spaghetti is your favorite.
 
I've never seen you not eat it, even when you had the flu!”

“I guess I just don't have much of an appetite tonight.”

Diane looked at him sideways.
 
“Is that bully still bothering you at school?”

He shook his head.
 
“No.
 
Well, yeah, he is, but that's not it.”

“Then what is it?”

“Nothing.
 
Really.
 
Don't worry about it.”
 
He took a sip of orange juice and looked at his mother, who had resumed eating.
 

Was this really his Mom? he wondered.
 
Could she have done what he had seen on the videotape?
 
Was it possible?
 
Maybe he and Billy had been wrong.
 
Perhaps it really wasn't her.
 
It was just someone who looked like her.
 

“What is it?” Diane asked.
 
David realized that she had caught him staring at her.
 
“Do I have something on my face?”

“No.
 
Sorry.”

“You were looking at me as if I were an alien.”

“Aren't you?” David asked.
 

She wrinkled her brow.
 
“Huh?”

David snickered and then she smiled.
 
“Oh, you teaser,” she said.
 
“Come on, try to eat some more.”

“I'm really not hungry, mom.”
 
He pushed the plate forward and sat back in the chair.
 
“I've got a little homework to do.”

“David.”

“What.”

Diane thought about her words before she said them.
 
“I know this is difficult for you.
 
It's difficult for me, too.”

“What is?”

“Moving.
 
The new apartment.
 
The divorce.”

“Oh.
 
That.
 
Yeah, I guess.”

“Your father and I couldn't stay together, David.
 
We were unhappy.
 
Neither of us believed that we should remain unhappy just for the sake of keeping up appearances.
 
You understand that, don't you?”

“We've been through this before, mom.”

“I know, but you seem very down lately.
 
Especially tonight.”

“Maybe it's just the move.
 
I'll get used to it.”

She nodded and picked up her glass of wine.
 
More and more she had found solace in wine after the sun had set.
 
It eased the anxiety and numbed the pain better than anything else she had tried.
 
Diane had tried anti-depressants a while back, when she and Greg had first begun having problems, but she didn't like the side effects.
 
She completely stopped going to the psychiatrist.
 

Besides, there was nothing wrong with her mind, she told herself.
 
It was a chemical imbalance.
 
That was it.

David got up from the table and left the room without saying another word.
 
Diane was concerned about him.
 
Perhaps the failure of the marriage had done more damage to him than she and Greg had anticipated.
 
Another possibility was that Greg was feeding David's mind with more negativity, which he had been prone to do in the past.

Diane stood and went to the phone by the sofa.
 
She dialed the number she knew by heart and waited until he answered.

“Hello?”

“Greg?”

“Oh, hi Diane.”

“What are you doing?”

“Just finishing dinner.
 
You?”

“Us too.”

“How's the new place?
 
Settled yet?”

“Not really.
 
But it'll be all right.
 
Once we get used to the lack of space.”
 
She hadn't intended for sarcasm to creep into her voice, but it had.