Swept Away (18 page)

“I’m going to use an anonymous donor.” Lily felt the need to explain. “If that doesn’t work, I’ll take the next step. In vitro.”

“You’re serious about this.” It wasn’t a question. It was more an absorption of her news.

“I’ve wanted a baby for so long.” Lily tried not to think about what it would be like to have his baby. “And this is the best way.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” Lily avoided his gaze. “I’m not getting any younger. And I have no plans on getting married again, so…”

“Interesting.” She could feel Carson’s gaze on her. She couldn’t bring herself to lift her eyes. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to know what she’d see in his eyes. Judgment? Repulsion? The overwhelming need to escape? “So you really are just using me for sex?”

She dared a glance in his direction. He was smiling. A dimple appeared on his right cheek. Of course, he would have dimples, just like his brother. Only Carson didn’t use them as a weapon. He saved them for a special occasion.

“Yes. Just sex.” Lily felt her cheeks flush, and heat spread throughout her whole body. “Lots and lots of sex. I bought the jumbo box of condoms. It’s in my bedroom.”

“Maybe we should stash some in every room of the house.” Carson leaned forward, his eyes filled with lust. With need. “I can’t guarantee I won’t lose control again.”

“Let’s hope not.” Lily felt her nipples tighten. “I kind of like it when you lose control.”

“Me too.” He pulled her to her feet, kissed her hard, and led her back to the bedroom where the full box of condoms awaited.

* * * *

Carson woke shortly before dawn. He hadn’t planned on spending the night, but he couldn’t tear himself away from Lily. She was everything he could want in a woman. If he allowed himself to want what she could give.

They’d made love again after dinner. It wasn’t at all like the first time. Or the second. They’d taken it slow, exploring each other as if they had all the time in the universe. Then they’d drifted off into a contented sleep. She’d snuggled against him, wrapping her arms around him as if they had been made to fit together.

He needed to go. As much as he wanted to lie there and watch her sleep, to wonder if the smile that curved her lips was because of him or some dream she was having. He couldn’t think when he was this close to her. And he really needed to think things through. To get his head on straight. To figure out why, when she told him it was nearly impossible for her to get pregnant last night, he’d felt disappointed instead of relieved.

He dressed quietly, not wanting to wake her. She looked so peaceful sleeping there in the bed where they’d made love. A lock of hair curled across her cheek and Carson couldn’t resist the urge to brush it away. Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled warmly.

“Good morning.” Lily’s voice was groggy with sleep. “At least I think it’s morning. What are you doing up so early?”

“I have to get home,” Carson admitted. “Go back to sleep.”

“I wish you could stay.” Lily grasped his hand. “We could spend the morning making love. Maybe have a picnic lunch, and then…”

“I really have to go.” Carson interrupted her by brushing a kiss across her forehead. He pulled away, the weight of her expectations crushing him, making him feel trapped.

“Relax, Carson.” Lily sat up, letting the sheet fall away, leaving her exposed. “This is supposed to be fun, remember? As much as I would like to spend the day making love with you, I know you have work to do.”

“Yes, I have passengers waiting for me.” Carson let his gaze fall to her bare breasts. They’d captivated him from the first and he’d since discovered they were as firm and luscious as he’d anticipated.

“And I have plenty to keep me busy.” Lily lifted the sheet, covering herself, to his disappointment. “Maybe you shouldn’t come over tonight.”

“Oh?” Was she telling him she was bored with him already?

“Then when we see each other next, we might not be able to resist tearing each other’s clothes off.” Lily gripped the front of his shirt, threatening to pop off the buttons.

“You tempt me.” Carson reached up to cup her face, stroke her cheek, and offer a goodbye kiss. “But I really have to get to work.”

“Do you ever take a break?”

“I’m interviewing for a few more guides on Monday. It turns out we can afford to add to our staff, thanks to you.”

“I just came along at the right time,” Lily said, dismissing her role in saving his business.

“Yes, you did.” Carson stood. The right time to catch a potential thief, the absolute wrong time for her to capture his heart.

* * * *

Lily waited until she was sure Carson had gone. She dressed in a robe and went in search of coffee. She couldn’t go back to sleep, so she might as well start her day. She found the coffeepot already set up. All she had to do was push the start button. Carson had left at dawn, but not before making her coffee. Tears stung her eyes. It was such a simple gesture, and yet it meant so much to her.

Once the coffee finished brewing, Lily poured herself a cup, stirred in a scant teaspoon of sugar and a generous amount of half and half. She took a long sip and felt the earth shift. It was a lot like being out on that rock. She could feel herself falling and had no way to stop it. But instead of into the river below, this time Lily realized she was falling in love.

Carson had swept her into his arms, giving her a second shot at life, and now love. But he couldn’t know. Not yet. The last thing she wanted to do was add to his burdens. His sense of responsibility. Maybe sharing her plans for motherhood had been a mistake. But she had been afraid he’d find out from either Cody or Fisher. She’d wanted to let him know she had plans of her own. That she wouldn’t be sitting around pining for him when he left next month.

Could she be content to love him for a month—less than a month—and then let him go? Could she wait for him to get a taste of freedom before…? Oh, who was she kidding? He wasn’t going to be content to be free for six weeks and come back and tie himself to an instant family.

No, he could never know the extent of her feelings. She had to convince him that she was only with him for sex. To have a little fun before she tied herself down with a baby.

She could pretend for a little while. Hell, the last few years of her marriage had been one big sham. Only this time she would be doing it not for her own sake, or for appearances, but to protect Carson. She wouldn’t put any more pressure on him than he already felt.

When he left, he’d have nothing but good memories to take with him.

Cody sauntered into the office shortly after Lily had arrived. She wondered if he knew about her and Carson. If he had been up before dawn, awaiting his brother’s arrival.

“Good morning, Lily.” Cody leaned against her desk like a man without a care in the world.

“Good morning.” Lily hoped she didn’t sound too cheerful. Too much like a woman in love. “Are you on the river today?”

“Nope. I thought I’d hang around here.” Cody picked up her stapler, turning it over in his hands, as if he wasn’t sure of its use. “Maybe you could show me what you do.”

“Sure.” Lily glanced at him and smiled. “What do you want to know?”

“Well, since you found out that Heather was trying to steal from us”—Cody leaned over, to look at her computer monitor—“I thought I should keep a closer eye on things. Only I don’t have any idea what to look for.”

“Why don’t you pull up a chair?” Lily offered. “We’ll start with the basics.”

They spent about an hour going over the various accounts, balance sheets, and income and expense reports. Lily was encouraged that Cody seemed so interested in the business side of the company. Carson would be pleased to know that Cody wouldn’t let things slide while he was gone.

“Why don’t I just watch you work?” Cody suggested. “That way I can see what it takes to keep this operation afloat on a daily basis.”

“Don’t you use rubber rafts?” Lily joked. “Life jackets, too?”

“Yes, to keep afloat.” Cody let a slow grin spread across his face. “I like your sense of humor. I like everything about you.”

“Even the fact that we can never be anything more than friends?” Lily’s words wiped that grin off his face in a hurry.

“Oh come on, Lily.” Cody tried one more time. “Don’t you know how good we’d be together?”

“So are you sitting in on the guide interviews with Carson?” Lily was done discussing any potential relationship with Cody. She was with Carson. For however long it lasted.

“You know, I think I might.” Cody scooted the chair back. “I need to make sure he doesn’t hire another Heather.”

She detected the slightest hint of contempt in his voice. Or maybe it was jealousy. Maybe she should tell him that she and Carson were together. But he might ask questions she wasn’t yet prepared to answer.

“Well, Cody, what a surprise.” Carson stepped into the office before she could think of a response. “I thought you’d be off…somewhere.”

“No. I’m here. Lily was giving me the rundown on the bookkeeping. Then I thought I’d help you with the guide interviews. And I was hoping this afternoon we could go back over the raft inventory. If we need to order any new boats, I’d like to get them in before Memorial Day.”

“Great.” Carson barely hid his surprise. “I’d love to have you sit in on the interviews. But I already ordered the new boats. We even paid cash. Thanks to Lily.”

He shot her a look of gratitude.

“So how many guides are we looking at?” Cody asked. It took a few seconds for Carson to tear his gaze away from Lily and acknowledge Cody’s question.

“Um, I have six interviews lined up.” Carson was clearly distracted. “If we can pick up three guides, we’ll be in good shape.”

“Sure.”

“So do you have résumés I can look over before we meet with the candidates?” Cody was trying. Lily was happy for that. She really hoped they could patch things up before Carson left.

“Sure, I’ll print out copies for you.” Carson booted up his computer but he never took his eyes off Cody. It was as if he didn’t trust him.

Cody walked over to the printer to grab the first résumé that Carson printed. He scanned the contents, and picked up the next.

“So where are we conducting the interviews?” Cody asked after reading the third résumé. “It might get a little cramped in here.”

“I can get out of the way,” Lily offered. “There’s nothing here that can’t wait until this afternoon. I could pick up lunch. Bring it back here.”

“That would be great.” Carson smiled at her, his eyes caressing every inch of her. “How does that sound to you, Cody?”

“Delicious.” Cody sent a smoldering look at Lily and she swore Carson was about ready to jump across the desk and grab him by the neck.

“I’ll run a few errands.” Lily reached into the drawer for her purse. “And I’ll see you boys later.”

She left without looking back at either of them.

* * * *

“What the hell are you trying to pull, here?” Carson had walked in on Cody once again trying to put the moves on Lily. His Lily.

“I’m just taking more of an interest in our business.” Cody dropped into the chair Lily had just vacated. “Isn’t that what you wanted?”

“You’re just taking an interest in Lily.” Carson glared at him.

“Lily is an interesting person.” Did Cody know he’d spent the night with Lily? Was he just messing with him, trying to get him to admit it? “She has a way of making even the most boring of subjects absolutely fascinating. In fact, I think I’ll spend the next few days really soaking in all the bookkeeping information Lily has to share with me.”

“Stay away from Lily.” Carson’s mouth didn’t move as he said the words. His jaw was clenched so tight he’d need a jack to get it open.

They were interrupted by a light knock on the open office door.

“Excuse me, I’m looking for Carson Swift.” Their first interview was early. “I’m here about the guide job.”

“Welcome to Swift River Adventures.” Cody stood to shake her hand.

A petite brunette with great shoulders. He could tell she spent a lot of time outdoors. Not just from her physical build, but the confidence she carried as she approached the two of them. He liked her immediately.

They got through five interviews in four and a half hours. One guy was a no-show. They ended up with four pretty good candidates. Carson was glad Cody had taken part in the process. Mostly. He had a nagging suspicion that he was only trying to impress Lily.

When he walked into the office this morning and saw Cody sitting so close to Lily, he’d felt something bordering on rage. His heart rate had jacked up, his blood had begun to boil, and he’d been about three steps from grabbing Cody by the back of his shirt before he’d realized they were just working. Cody was talking to her about balance sheets, not trying to talk her into his bed sheets.

He was doing what Carson had asked. Cody was taking responsibility for the business side of their company. He should be happy. He would be, if he didn’t think that the only reason for Cody’s sudden interest in being in the office was their new office mate.

Hell, he should just tell Cody. That he and Lily were… What were they exactly?

“I brought burgers and fries.” Lily arrived with two bags of food. “I can grab a couple of drinks from the store.”

“I’ll grab the drinks,” Cody offered. “What’s your pleasure?” He looked at Lily and although Cody was asking about drinks, Carson could see her blush.

“I’ll take a Diet Coke, please.” Lily turned her attention to unpacking the burgers.

Carson held his breath until Cody left the room.

“So how did the interviews go?” Lily asked, seemingly unaware of the tension between the brothers.

“Good. Real good.” He stretched his neck from side to side. Whether she was aware of it or not, the tension was there.

“And Cody was a big help?”

“Actually, yes.” Carson wanted to reach for her, to take her in his arms, to do that clothes-ripping thing she’d mentioned this morning.

“I’m glad.” Lily unwrapped her burger and sat down at her desk to eat. “I think he feels like he’s not good enough. Or that you think he’s not good enough.”