Tainted Blood (4 page)

“If you cared at all before, why didn't you stop me from leaving? Huh? Answer me that?” She now resorted to poking him in the chest, which Brian was surprised could be so painful.

“Wait a minute.” He interrupted her as what she said started to sink in. “You said that you
had
to go.” A flash of anger rose up in him, he couldn't believe that she could even say that.

She paused, and looked a bit startled that he had answered her. It was almost as if she didn't know he was real. Of course, why should she? It was her dream, and as far as he knew, she was never aware of his presence here. Was she acting out her real feelings here, he wondered? Or was this just another dream-induced fantasy of hers?

Even so, this was the first chance he had gotten in quite a while to actually talk to her, and he wasn't about to let it pass by without speaking his mind as well.

“Heather.” He grabbed her hands as she started to look as if she might flee. “The last thing I ever wanted was to let you go,” he said pleadingly, as he tried to catch her eyes. He was sure now as she tugged at his hands that she would leave if he let go of them.

“I only wanted to give you what you wanted me to. Please, Heather. I need you back in my life.” He said, still trying to catch her eyes.

When he said those words, she paused in her struggles and finally turned her eyes up to him. They were clear blue and filled like a deep ocean with tears she struggled to contain.

“I wish that was true, Brian.” She said as a lone tear escaped from her control and quickly ran down her face.

“It is true.” He pleaded. A part of him died, seeing the torment he caused in her struggling to be set free.

“No...you're not real!” She shouted and tore her hands from his. “You're just a stupid dream.”

Brian watched as tears began to burst from her eyes her face disappeared from view behind her gloved hands. It was then that Brian noticed that her cloths had changed again. They were no longer the dark black leather with spikes. Instead they were a white baby’s jumper, that was covered in sad teddy bears. Her hands to her feet were completely covered in it

Now the ball was in his court. Did he tell her the truth and hope that she believed him? Would she believe him? He wasn't sure any sane person would. Then again, even if she did believe him now, would she after she woke? The whole dilemma was insane. He was damned if he told her, and quite possibly damned if he didn't.

What choice did he have? The woman, quite literally of his dreams, had just confessed in a sense that she had feelings for him. At least that’s what he thought she meant, and if there was any chance that it was true, he had to act now.

“Heather, listen to me.” He said in as soothing a voice as he could, reaching as tenderly as possible for her.

“No! You're not real!” She shouted again without looking at him.

“Yes, Heather, I am.” He tried to sound confident yet reassuring to her. The last thing he needed was to have her flee the dream now. He needed her to listen.

“Heather. Remember that I'm sort of a vampire?” he asked, then continued on when he saw no response. “Well...ahem. I'm really here, Heather. You see, um, Vampires can enter people’s dreams if they want.”

That caused her to pause. At least she wasn't crying any longer. He could see her blue eyes peeking over her hands as he continued to talk.

“Dreams are really easy to enter for us.” He smiled to her. “Well, at least if we have strong feelings for the person.” he amended.

It wasn't really a lie, but not entirely the truth he thought. He never did enter anyone else's dreams these days, and then when he did, they were only people he knew really well. So, in a sense he was being entirely honest. He had never tried to enter someone’s dream that he didn’t know. Not really.

“You're saying your real?” She said, as her hands slid down to her sides. Her clothes turned into a deep red flowing dress that trailed out behind her on the floor.

He found himself smiling at her innocent and completely surprised looking face. How could he ever not love her? She was perfect in every conceivable way. He was surprised he could ever have lived so long and so far away without her.

“Yes Heather. I'm real.” He said, as he moved to embrace her.

A sense of hope began to fill him as he reached for her, only to be dashed as the woman of his dreams disappeared into a cloud of mist. Before he could do anything but gawk at where she had been, the world around him flashed and began to disappear.

The dream was over and it was time to return to his dull little world.

Brian sat at the edge of his bed, staring toward the shaded windows.

His foot idly tapped on the floor as he mulled over the night's events. The dream seemed especially fast he thought. Usually, they felt much longer then that, but then again time was almost impossible to measure while locked in Heather's dreams. Events seemed to play out inside them at their own pace. The fact that the sun was now rising just outside his window indicated that it had been all night, and yet it had seemed so short. Almost nothing was accomplished.

“I wonder what she's doing right now. Does she remember the dream?” He wondered, “will she believe it was real?” He knew from experience that she would most likely shrug the whole thing off. Then again, after their last adventures, maybe she would realize that something was different about the dreams. “At least one can hope.”

The small apartment felt closed in and lonely as he got up to begin his day. Everything felt a bit pointless. Lethargy swarmed around in his mind and played havoc with his feelings. The remote control beckoned to him as he prepared to go about his usual routine. He picked it up and rolled it around in his hand, uncertain that he wanted to watch anything on TV. For some reason, the morning news had lost it's luster. Even his writing didn't seem to interest him. The only thing that seemed to demand his attention was Heather. Was she okay? Did she need him?

He shook his head to clear it, and tried to function normally. Having no interest in watching TV, he decided to just jump to breakfast. He hoped that would jump start his routine and he could get on with his day.

When he finished feeding, he found he didn't feel any different than before. So it wasn't about food. That would have been the easy answer. The reality was, he had a problem he couldn’t deal with. It had a name, and she was the only answer that was going to make him feel better. The problem was, he wasn't sure she wanted him.

For that matter, he wasn't even sure
where
she was. He knew she was somewhere in the vicinity, because he could feel her somewhere in the distance, in fact it was the main reason he moved to the area.

Brian sighed as he sat down in his dirty green lazyboy. “Damn it, what happened?” He said aloud to no one in particular. “Everything was going fine, and then everything just fell apart.”

The truth was, he knew what had gone wrong. After leaving Raffian's lair, the three of them headed off in Bobby’s truck. They really had no destination in mind. Vegas had been joked about, so they had begun to head South with that in mind.

The problems began to hit that first night. Guilt had been building up in Brian ever since he started to feel friendship toward Bobby. Brian could see the conflict that first night as the old trucker sat in the motel room they were all sharing, averting his eyes as Brian fed on a packet of human blood. He realized that the suggestion on Bobby was wearing off again, this time even faster than the first. It left him with a dilemma: he and Heather needed a ride, but the truth was, Brian could get that anywhere. It wasn't necessary to mess around with the old guy's head anymore. He liked the trucker and he would have liked to have him as a real friend.

But that was never going to be. He knew that. People would never accept a vampire in their midst, let alone one that messed with their mind and endangered them for his own needs.

So the next morning Brian said his goodbyes to the old trucker. Of course, even with the suggestion wearing off, Bobby would have none of it, and it took some effort to get him to move on. It was for the best, though, so with a heavy heart, he and Heather waved goodbye as the truck sped off in the distance as they stood alone in the motel parking lot.

Almost immediately, Brian felt better about himself as he and the girl of his dreams headed out to make a life for themselves. The trouble was, the guilt he felt involved more than Bobby. He found himself wondering if Heather really loved him, or for that matter if she had any real feelings for him at all. He could see that she too was beginning to question herself about why she was going with him to Vegas. It wasn't anything major, just little things like questions about their future, or wondering if her parents were alive.

Normal, simple questions really. Nothing intense, just things that any normal couple would just overlook. To Brian however, those questions began to fester in his heart, creating doubts that his love was actually with him by her own choice. Doubts that made him stay his hand and allow her to make her own decisions. After all, did she love him, or was she charmed by his vampiric ability?

That was the question he mulled over as he watched her drift away. Little by little she seemed to question their motives, until one day the big decision came. Should he give her a push and suggest that she stay, or encourage her to leave?

In the end there really was only one decision he could make. If he wanted a slave to follow his every whim, there were plenty of woman he could get for that. But if he wanted the woman he loved more than life itself to love him, then he had to be willing to let her go. Two nights later, she did just that.

While Brian feigned sleep as he did every night, Heather packed up her meager belongings and left a short goodbye letter for him. He watched from the shadows as she climbed into a yellow pickup she waved down just in front of the motel they were staying at, then he stood there as she drove away from his life. It was one of the hardest things he had ever done.

For a whole month, he stayed in that motel and waited for her to return, waiting for a little miracle to happen, the one thing that he needed to give his life hope and meaning. To say he wasn't a monster, but someone that could be loved and trusted, but it never came. She never came.

For a while he thought he would go mad with sorrow, as he sat by his window, night and day waiting for her to return. He had been so sure that if he let her go, just like in the movies she would realize her mistake and come back to him.

Hunger began to eat at his mind, and there was a time that he thought he would lose himself to his nature, but he was stronger than that. A part of him wanted to let that part of himself die, to let it end, as he blamed it for his loss.

In the end, he too had to make a decision. He realized that if it wasn't for the vampire that he was, Heather never would have had anything to do with him. The fact was, it was all he had to offer. He wasn't truly human, and to deny his nature was the true crime. So he got up that night, and he found what he needed. With his new-found strength, he began the search, knowing that he could never again deny what he was. He was human and he was vampire. The one without the other couldn’t exist, but together, they were strong.

Finding Heather's dreams that night brought peace to him, a chance to be with her again, and to share his feelings with her. Night after night his bond grew with her, until he knew where she was. He could feel her presence in the far off distance. She was a light to him, a flame in the darkness that drew him straight to her. He knew now that he could never survive without her, and yet as a human he needed to win her love, as a vampire, he would do it his own way.

So it was, until recently when Chuck began showing up in her dreams. That phantom of her past began to work like a barrier around her mind, making it almost impossible to enter her dreams, and far too often he would find him as his adversary or nemesis, always there running interference or just straight out replacing him.

So here I sit. So close and yet so far from all that matters in this world to me.
He stood back up shaking his head in disgust. He was so tempted to just go claim his prize. It was his heritage to take what he wanted.
It would be so easy,
he thought.
But the only problem is, why did I go through this hell for the last several months if I was just going to throw it all away and suggest her?

No, he had to end this battle inside of himself. He would just have to win her over to him without using his abilities. The problem was, he had intended on doing it long range to start. Win her in her dreams, and then try to woo her in real life. It seemed like the best possible plan. Now, however, he wasn't so sure it was going to work.

“
Damn
,” He mumbled as he walked over and grabbed his jean jacket. “I need a break from this.”

An hour later Brian sat at a poker table across from six other people with a pile of chips stacked to his left and two cards on the table in front of him. So far, things weren’t going so well. He'd already lost over a hundred dollars in the short time he had been sitting at the table. A young guy dressed in a white sport jacket across from him, with short blond hair and a goofy-looking earring to match his perpetual smile, kept taking everything from everyone at the table. It didn't seem to matter what he had, the guy always knew what two cards Brian held.