Tainted Love (Sweetest Taboo #2)
Read Tainted Love (Sweetest Taboo #2) Online
Authors: Eva Márquez
Tainted Love
A Novel
by
Eva Márquez
Tainted Love Copyright © 2013 Eva Márquez
All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the author, except that brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews are permitted.
This is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or have been used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
Tainted Love
is the second novel in a three-book series. For the first novel,
Sweetest Taboo
, visit this link:
www.Eva-Marquez.com
To my mother who always taught me right from wrong and never chastised me for making mistakes. I could not have asked for a more caring, supportive, loving mother and best friend
.
Acknowledgements
D
uring the process of preparing to publish
Sweetest Taboo
and
Tainted Love
, I have been fortunate to meet other writers, literary reviewers, and critics who have supported my work and have inspired and motivated me to continue writing. It’s not easy to have a full-time day job, raise a toddler as a single mother, try to complete a doctoral degree
and
write quality literary fiction, but with the support and guidance from many, many literary professionals, family, friends, colleagues, and last (but certainly not least!), faithful readers, I have been able to achieve small successes day by day. I would like to take the time to thank all of those involved in helping me create and publish both
Sweetest Taboo
and
Tainted Love
, as their time, critical feedback, and encouragement have been the secret to my success. Not only in writing, but while juggling so many competing interests. I would like to thank my significant other, whom I’ve known and loved for nearly twenty years, for all of the time he committed to helping me develop plot ideas and for carefully reviewing draft after draft and providing critical feedback. I would also like to thank a dedicated reader (and grand prize winner of a
Sweetest Taboo
giveaway promo), Yadira Alonzo, who took great care and put much thought into naming the new male character in
Tainted Love
.
Table of Contents
Chapter One - Since You Been Gone
Chapter Three - Vision of Love
Chapter Eight - Give a Little Bit
Chapter Nine - I’ve Had Enough
Chapter Twelve - Here Comes the Rain Again
Chapter Thirteen - Have a Little Faith in Me
Chapter Fourteen - Barely Breathing
Chapter Sixteen - Do You Really Want to Hurt Me
Chapter Eighteen - Time After Time
Chapter Nineteen - You’re Still the One
“Love recognizes no barriers.
It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls
to arrive at its destination full of hope.”
- Maya Angelou, quoted in Woman’s Days
Preface
D
ear Reader,
I suppose many of you may still have unanswered questions that you would like to ask, given the opportunity to do so. Perhaps you would like to comment on my behavior and actions. Before you solidify your beliefs about what kind of man I am, let me try to partly explain my side of the story, and what my thoughts were as to the decisions I made years ago.
I would like to start by saying that you don’t always have a choice with whom you truly fall in love with. For those of you who would like to argue the point, well, all I can say is, have you really ever been in love? I am not talking about infatuation, codependency, or being with someone for such a long time that you feel used to him or her, so used to them that you wouldn’t know how to live without that person. I am talking about the type of love that you know, that you feel in every fiber of your being, a feeling of comfort, of being at home in the arms of that person, knowing that even if you never saw him or her again, you would continue to love them unconditionally with all of your heart for the rest of your life? This is how I felt about Isabel. Don’t ask me why because I cannot explain, it is just how it was, how it is, and how it has always been since the moment I laid eyes on her.
The first time I saw Isabel from afar, I felt a connection. To be honest, I don’t know why I should have felt anything at all, as she was just one of thousands of students I have seen on campus over the years. But there was something there, something inexplicably familiar. I know, you may be thinking to yourself, but she was only fifteen. I didn’t look at Isabel as an age or as a student, I just felt a strong connection of some sort, it was just that simple. Nothing more, nothing less. I didn’t see her until the following year on the swim team, where as you have read, I got to know her quite well. I never set out to seduce her; it was quite the opposite as she flirted and made relentless advances by being near me every chance she could get. Eventually things happened (completely against my better judgment, I might add) as we got to know each other, as we fell in love, and as we dreamed of a life together.
I will always say that Isabel was never a schoolgirl, she was never an age, and she was never anyone I intentionally pursued. She just appeared in my life at that particular moment in time, in that particular place (my workplace, of all things) and while the relationship that developed between us was strong, it only became stronger as time went on. To you, the reader, know that I love Isabel with all of my heart, with all of my soul, and with every fiber of my being. It can and will never be any other way for me. This I know.
~ Tom Stevens
Chapter One - Since You Been Gone
I
awoke slowly, turning on to my side to stretch out the kinks of the night. I kept my eyes closed, though; I didn’t want Tom to know I was awake yet, wherever he was. We had argued before going to bed the night before and I wasn’t sure I was ready to talk about it quite yet.
It hadn’t all been arguing, of course. We had reunited after a full year of separation the week earlier, and had been spending every second of our time together since then. Most of it had been absolutely heavenly. He was just as sensitive as I remembered him to be, listening closely whenever I spoke, sharing my feelings, while giving me both advice and accolades when I told him about everything I had been up to during my first year in college. Fortunately, we had a lot of time to catch up. It had been one entire school year since I had had any contact with Tom. There were no phone calls, no visits, not even email. A lot had happened since the unofficial break-up. I returned to school on the East Coast, got settled, met my new roommate, took some challenging classes, started writing for the school newspaper, picked up an exciting new internship with a prestigious publishing house… Evidently my mind had been waiting to reunite, for just this opportunity to talk to Tom, because it lined everything up for me, including things I’d long forgotten.
Once I started talking, of course, it had been hard to stop. I hadn’t made many close friends at school, except for one or two, and I’d never been able to replace Tom’s serious, mature and reasonable point of view in my life. I hadn’t realized it, but there were things I needed to get off my chest, or get advice on, and I had not found anyone I could trust or anyone that would just listen and give me really great advice. I skipped from story to story, barely pausing to hear his replies, and listening intently when he did have a response. With every new reply, I’d remembered how much I loved his kind, gentle mind and his thought process. Tom always seemed to come up with solutions to problems I thought were impossible to resolve, and even suggested alternative topics for a paper I would be working on when I returned to my classes in the Fall. It hadn’t taken me long to fall in love with Tom all over again, if I had ever fallen out of love with Tom in the first place.
We spent our first day together sharing iced mochas at our old coffee shop, dissecting all of the reasons why I thought he might have been having ‘a thing’ with Christine. And then after listening to him deny any such ‘thing’ with conviction, I had taken him up on his offer to set some time aside in order for us to work out the issues that had kept us apart. We decided that we couldn’t stay in town, where we – and the rumors that followed us – were well known. The coffee shop, where we’d secretly met when I was in high school, was outside of town, far enough from those who knew us both, and far enough away that we felt safe. But even there, I felt eyes glaring, I imagined people whispering to each other, pointing our way, or reaching for their phones to call the school district or even the police. We weren’t doing anything wrong – just two adults, meeting for coffee – but I felt as if everyone knew who we were and what kind of relationship we had had. The fact that we found it impossible to keep our hands off of each other didn’t help. Tom was gently resting his hand on mine, his face a mix of warm gratitude, affection, and surprise. I’d nearly crawled into his lap when he pulled my hand up from the table to his mouth for a soft, sweet kiss. There was no hiding what we were – a couple very much in love, and reuniting. Although we weren’t really doing anything wrong, we decided it would be best to leave town altogether and get away for a few days. We had eaten lunch at the coffee shop and talked about what we were going to do, where we were going to go, and then after lunch, I’d gone straight back to my parents’ house to pack a bag.
The story I had told my unknowing mother was that I’d been called back to DC early, for the internship at the publishing house I had been talking about all summer. I told her I had to leave immediately, if I wanted to keep the internship. It’s a terrible thing to lie to your mother like that, especially when she was as loving and trusting as mine was. I really thought my lying days were behind me, but I guess I was mistaken.
“I’m sorry, mami, but I can’t stay for the rest of the summer,” I had said, my voice full of regret. The guilt and regret had not been fake, either; I’d felt terrible about leaving so quickly, and even worse about the fact that I was deceiving my mom again, it really hurt to do that, but yet, I felt it to be necessary. The fact that I was running off to meet Tom – the very person I’d hidden from her during all those years in high school – and lying to her about it made me feel even worse. I felt like I had grown up and made my way through the world on my own and in an adult manner, and I liked to think that I had matured during my first year in college. But yet here I was, lying to my mom about the man I loved, just like I had lied in high school.