Take Me If You Dare (11 page)

Jackson nodded. Scoggins walked into the hotel, leaving him on the sidewalk. Staring out into the ocean a myriad of thoughts ran through his head. Where should he go next? Could he get Mar to a major air
port? They might be watching, and her safety was the priority. He needed to get a look at that laptop again.

Guilt assailed him. He couldn’t stand that he was being so deceitful with her, but there was no way around it. That laptop was the only way he could communicate with the outside world.

In his mind he promised himself that he would do whatever it took to protect her. Unfortunately, that didn’t make him feel any less guilty.

S
OMETHING TUGGED
M
ARISKA
from a deep sleep. Pulling her toward consciousness when all she wanted was to stay in her dreams with Jackson.

“Wake up. Come on, sleepyhead. Open those eyes.” Jackson’s sexy voice coaxed her back to reality. “Please, baby. I have a surprise for you.”

Slipping farther down in the warmth of the bed seemed a much better idea. She’d spent a little too much time surfing and in the sun, and now she was paying for it. It didn’t help that she and Jackson had made love for hours. Her mind and body were exhausted. A dull ache had formed in her head, and her skin felt tight, even though she’d showered and applied lotions before crawling between the cool sheets. But he sounded excited and she couldn’t stand disappointing him.

She opened a sliver of an eye. “Happy now?” she said grumpily as she pulled the sheet back over her face. The dim light in the room was enough to make her blink.

Jackson wore a dress shirt, dark slacks and one of his devastating smiles. “You look gorgeous,” he said as he moved in for a kiss.

She held a hand over her mouth. “Stop. I have sandpaper mouth. You can’t kiss me right now.”

“Hmm.” He tugged her hand away. “I’ll decide if I can kiss you or not. And can’t say I’ve ever heard of sandpaper mouth. Is that some tropical disease I should be worried about?”

“I refuse to kiss you until I’ve brushed my teeth. And if a cat has ever licked you, then you know exactly what sandpaper mouth is.” She pushed the sheet off her and stood naked before him. A few days ago she would have been self-conscious about her body, but now she was only worried about her breath.

Jackson refused to let her pass, and planted a big kiss on her lips. “I say you taste perfect, sandy mouth and all.” His hands slipped down her bottom and pulled her to him. “And you feel perfect.” His hands slipped around her hips and settled there.

“I thought you said you had a surprise for me?” She wiggled away from him, determined to brush the grime from her tongue before he could kiss her again.

He looked confused for a moment, then he smiled. “Seeing you naked sent the past hour straight out of my head. I do have a big surprise for you.”

She turned her head and smiled up at him. “Um, I think I’ve seen that surprise already. Over, and over, and over again. Not that I’m complaining.” She boldly cupped him and could feel his cock growing in her hand.

“Talk about a one-track mind.” He gently removed her hand and pushed her toward the bathroom. “You need to get ready. Your surprise is waiting at the hotel.”

She clapped her hands together. “Normally, I’m not a big fan of surprises, but now I can’t wait. I’ll be fast.” She turned back at the door and caught him frowning at the floor, his chin in his hand. “Jackson?”

He glanced up and smiled at her. But she knew she’d seen genuine worry on his face. “Yes? No more stalling. Do your womanly things, hurry, hurry.” He shooed her into the bathroom before she could ask what was wrong.

“I only wanted to know what to wear.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he said, “you look beautiful in everything.”

That made her laugh as she stared in the mirror. It was crazy that her hair could be a frizzy mess on top of her head and overly pink cheeks, and he thought she was beautiful. She wouldn’t dwell on that look on his face. The one that made her worry that perhaps this fantasy was going to end sometime soon.

She turned on the faucets. Her stomach tightened at the thought of him leaving.

“No,” she whispered. “The deal is, I enjoy whatever time I have with him. I knew that going in. No regrets.”

J
ACKSON’S SURPRISE HAD BEEN
incredible. As they stood on the rooftop of the hotel looking out on to the ocean she felt like she could touch the moon and the stars.

“I don’t think I would ever tire of this view,” she said softly as she snuggled against his chest. They’d had a elegant candlelit dinner by the rooftop pool, and Jackson had even arranged for music to stream in through the speakers. She’d learned it came from his iPod, which
was connected to the sound system. It was an array of everything from big band to indie rock, and all points in between. It was as eclectic and diverse as the man holding her.

He sighed against her. They had two bottles of wine, and an assortment of local delicacies. She’d eaten more than she’d intended, but she felt more relaxed than she had in years. Jackson had been so attentive, as if he wanted her to remember this night forever. She would.

But there was a small part of her that couldn’t let go of that moment back at the villa. She’d seen the look on his face. He was worried about something, but he wanted her to have this night. She couldn’t take that away from him.

“Mmm. This has been just about the most perfect date a woman could ever imagine.” She took a deep breath. “Jackson, you can surprise me anytime you want. In fact I may have to change the way I look at surprises from here on out.”

When she glanced up at him there was a strange expression on his face. Why couldn’t the man take a compliment? “Seriously, I’ll be spoiled from now on. No man is ever going to live up to the measure of the Jackson standard.” She gave him a grin, but his brows drew together and he wore a deep frown. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He looked angry for some reason. “I need some coffee. I’m going to find the waiters and see if they can bring some up. I’ll only be gone a few minutes. I promise.”

Before she could answer, he was through the door
leading to the hotel elevator. Something she said had been misconstrued. She thought about her comments and realized he thought she was talking as if they had some kind of future.

Dammit. Jackson. I didn’t mean it the way you think.

The wary look in his eyes hadn’t been anger—he wanted to escape. How many times had he said he had to move on and that he’d be traveling soon? This was supposed to be a fun weekend with no ties.

The hurt strangled her lungs, until she didn’t think she could breathe. Suddenly she felt very alone.

Hell, there’s a good chance he’s on his way to Bangkok and out of your life right now.

“If he comes back, I won’t mention a word about the future. Please, give me one more night with the man,” she said to the heavens. “Please, let him come back. I’m not ready to say goodbye. I need more time.”

She sniffled. “Jackson, I need you.”

Maybe she was tired. Maybe it was too much sun, but she couldn’t stop the tears from spilling over.

J
ACKSON STARED AT HIMSELF
in the copper-colored elevator doors.

Coward.

The second she mentioned anything about the future he’d bolted like a bull with an open gate. It wasn’t that he hadn’t been thinking the same thing. A future with Mar invaded his thoughts more often than not the last few hours. He’d come to realize that she had become the most important person in his life.

That was the rub.

He couldn’t allow himself to think that way. It wasn’t a good idea for either of them. Then she made the comment about him taking care of her any time, and he’d panicked. He wanted to be there
always
to take care of her, to hold on to her and never let go.

When she mentioned future men who would be compared to him, he’d almost come unglued. He wanted to grab her right then and tell her that no other man would ever touch her. That he was the only man for her.

The feeling was so strong it freaked him out. He’d never felt so possessive about anyone, hell, anything. The idea that she would share those passionate kisses and her gorgeous body with some other man sent his mind and body into turmoil.

Jackson was determined to be the only man she would ever need.

That’s not going to happen.

For one millisecond he considered telling her the truth. Explaining why he couldn’t be around much longer—assassins could be around any corner. He’d be lucky if he lived through the next weekend.

He knew he wouldn’t.

Stop being a desperate loser. The last thing she needs to know is your secrets. Then you really will get her killed.

Jackson found the maître d’ at the restaurant, who had arranged the special dinner upstairs. “Would it be possible to have coffee sent up?”

“Yes, sir.” The man took the money Jackson offered.

“If you don’t mind. Give us about twenty minutes.” Jackson would need to come up with some plausible
explanation for why he acted like such an idiot. Mar hadn’t meant anything by talking about the future. She only wanted to show her appreciation.

The maître d’ nodded. “Of course. Would you also like a dessert tray?”

The idea of food turned Jackson’s stomach, but he knew how much Mar loved sweets. “Sure. Whatever you think works. But twenty minutes, okay?” Jackson turned.

“Did she like it?” the man asked.

Jackson gave him a confused look.

“Your wife? Did she enjoy the meal?”
His wife?

Why didn’t that scare the hell out of him like it should?

Because you care about her, idiot.

He’d been a jerk to leave her like that.

“She loved it. Thanks.” Jackson walked quickly to the elevator, berating himself as it climbed the eight floors to the rooftop.

In his life he’d seen so much violence and corruption, but nothing had ever prepared him for what he viewed when he opened the door and stepped out onto the rooftop. Mar was sitting at the table wiping a tear from her cheek.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

Her sobs intensified and her shoulders shook. Her face was hidden from him and finally he pulled her hands away so that he could see her.

“Tell me.” He whispered the words, brushing her hair away from her tear-streaked face. She hiccupped.

“I’m sorry I left like that. The coffee will be here in a bit. I should have just called down.”

Mar put her hand on his heart. “Jackson.” The word came out on a shudder. “I don’t need coffee. I need you.”

The words hit him like a sucker punch to the gut. No one had ever needed him. No one he’d ever cared about had said those words to him. He kissed her head. “I’m here, baby. Tell me what’s wrong.”

She sat up a little straighter and he handed her a tissue from the side table. “It’s silly. I—I thought you left. You ran out of here so fast when I accidentally mentioned the future, and I thought I spooked you. I promise you, I’m not expecting anything past this weekend. But I’m not ready for it to be over yet. I—I didn’t want you to leave without saying goodbye.”

The last part of the wall around his heart fell away. She cared for him as much as he did her. The practical side of him knew he’d soon have no choice but to leave, but not right now.

“Babe, why would you think that?” He touched her chin with his finger. “I would never leave without saying goodbye to you.”

Mar blotted her nose with the tissue. “But when you left—you had this really weird look on your face. You can’t fool me. Something I said freaked you out.”

Her breath hitched and she coughed a little. “I don’t have any desire to leave you, Mar.” That part was true. “But—there is something you should know. I—will have to leave soon. You know as well as I do that neither of us is safe as long as we stay in Thailand. I guess when
you said something about the future it made me think that we really don’t have much more time together.”

“You’re a really good liar, Jackson. But you forget I do have one talent besides my awesome surfing skills. I can read people.”

Jackson dragged his chair next to hers and held her hand. She definitely had acquired that talent. Still, he didn’t want to discuss it right then. “Mar, let’s enjoy the night. You have your moon and your stars.”

She took her hand back and stood to face him. “No. I need to say this to you now because I don’t know when you’re going to leave,” she demanded. “And I’m sorry if it scares you, but I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready for you to go.” Her voice trembled. “Mar, honey.”

She held up a hand and took a settling breath. “You—you made me care, and that’s a good thing in so many ways. I’d reached a point where the only thing that brought me any joy was work. I didn’t feel like I fit in with the rest of the world. I know it’s crazy, and I expect nothing from you, but I feel like I fit when you’re around.”

When she put her hand on his cheek he shattered into a million pieces. The confession was the single most intimate moment anyone had ever shared with him. He put his hand over hers and pulled it against his heart.

“I’m going to be more honest than I should. I want to promise you forever after, Mar, more than anything in the world. But I’m not in a place where I can do that. My life is complicated right now, and I honestly never know what the new day will bring.”

He stopped, choosing his words carefully. “These
few days with you have been the most amazing in my life. I don’t have a clue what my future holds, but I will cherish this time we have. And I care about you. When I do have to leave, it will be with a heavy heart. I promise you.” Jackson had no idea where all that had come from, but it surprised him that he meant it all. He’d become so used to lying to get out of situations that he was surprised by how good speaking the truth felt.

“That might be the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.” She wiped her eyes again. “There’s one thing I have to know before we go any further with this. I’d appreciate if you’d be honest. It won’t change how I feel about you, but it is something that I have to know.”

“I’ll tell you if I can.” Jackson worried. What if she asked about something concerning his job? He wouldn’t lie to her unless he had to. She deserved answers if he could give them to her.

“Are you married?”

Jackson was caught so off guard that he burst out laughing harder than he had in a long time.

Mar gave him a stern look. “I don’t think it’s that funny.”

“You are precious.” He left his chair and kissed her cheeks, nose and lips before he answered her. “No, I am not married. I’ve never been married. And I’m not the kind of guy who would sleep with you if I were.” Happy that he could be honest, he pulled her close again.