Authors: Whitney Gracia Williams
I mad
e the mistake of sleeping with her three days before our wedding, a mistake I wi
ll always regret.
I should have been hones
t with you. I
should have called off the wedding the very next day, but I couldn’t…
You were so happy, so obliviously happy, and I still loved you (and I always wil
l
). I was going to go through with the wedding and the honeymoon and act like Emily never happened, like it was just a blip on an otherwise clean slate.
Standing there at the altar with you, I almost thought that was possible…until Emily showed up. Even though we’d only known each other for two months, I knew without a do
ubt that I was in love with her
.
I believe that you deserve better, Melody. You deserve to be with someone who will share
the same ideals you have about your future, someone who won’t lie to your face, someone who won’t knowingly hurt and aba
ndon you.
I wanted to be honest
because
I owe that to you
and so much more. You are the reason Belazi
was possible. You were
the only person who believed in my desi
gner dreams and wasn’t persuading
me to stay
within my
family
’s
realm of law
school. You are the ultimate reason why I am who I am, and I would still do anything for you.
I know that you are
still
very angry with me and that you may never speak to me again, but I want you to know that I’ll always love you
. And
if you ever need anything (anything, Melody…) I
will bend over backwards to make sure
that you have it.
Sincerely,
Sean
I rolled over o
nto the sand, crying. My tears were falling fast, my sobs were irrepressible. All this time I thought he and I shared the same dreams. All. this. time. The only thing I wanted
was
him
, not something he could “bend over backwards” and purchase.
I knew he cheated on me, that he slept with blonde bitch before our wedding, but three days before? Maybe seeing it in writing, knowin
g that it was
he
who was telling me
, made it even worse.
I ran through memory after memory
:
I remembered him mentioning “Emily” to me as an “upset customer,” asking me to join them for dinner. I had no reason to be suspicious, he took clients out to dinner all the time and he always invited me. I remembered mentioning the nursery to him
. He smiled and kissed me on the forehead. He even asked me what color I
would
paint the room:
pastel yellow.
I remembered the weeks leading up the wedding, the weeks I was “so obliviously happy,” and he was happier than I’d ever seen him. I remembered my wedding day, being elated one second and disheartened the
very
next.
The sand was beginning to irritate my skin, but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t believe what I had
just
read. I was having trouble discerning fictio
n from reality.
I’m dreaming…
I’m on my honeymoon and
Sean is back in the suite…I came out here for a walk and fell…I’m just dreaming.
“Melody!” Jen’s voice forced me to see the truth. “Melody! What the hell are you doing?”
“I’m just
…
I’m just,”
I continued
sobbing.
She sat down next
to me and brushed
hair away from my face.
“Shhh,” she said. “You’ve been out here
for
a long time
.
I was really worried
.”
“He…H
e wrote me a,” I handed her the letter.
I watched her eyes dart back and forth, watched her face turn red, and watch
ed her stand up and walk to
the ocean.
“No
Jen
! No!” I jumped up and ran towards her.
“You’re
planning to hold onto this
?”
“Yes,
I want to—”
“You want to what? You came here to get away from everything, to continue getting over him!
But now
you want to cry and hold on to
this
?”
“Jen
, please—”
“I
didn’
t
agree to come here to
watch you slip into a depression
, Melody!
You’re better than that!” she handed me
the letter. “I’m going to sit
r
ight over there
. Don’t talk to me until you’ve done what needs to be done to that piece of crap.”
Piece of crap?
Jennifer rolled her eyes and
sat on
a rock.
I read the letter three
more times,
absorb
ing
every word. I folded it in two, but then I
unfolded it
and read it once more.
The words never changed, and the hurt never lessened. I was stuck on the part about, “I know now that I should have talked with you about these issues, but I didn’t want to start a fight, hurt your feelings, or have you leave me…”
I found it funny that he said he knew “now.”
Did he and blonde bitch sit
and discuss how wrong they both were? How they could have caused less pain to the people in their lives? He knew “now” how to be an adult and address conflict with someone he loved?
Yes. Piece of crap.
I stepped closer to the shore, shutting my eyes as the wind blew over me. I walked into the ocean until the water was up to my waist. I ripped the letter to pieces and sighed as a small wave carried them away.
Matt
“We really need to leave
now
,” Joan tapped her foot.
I ignored her and
kept looking
out my window.
I
was dreading another display of being
“engaged” to Selena.
Our engagement party was being catered b
y
renowned
chef Eric Ripert
and
decorated by
the incomparable Kari
Whitman
.
Tons of fellow c
elebrities
were expected to be in attendance. Eve
n my mother was
in
town
to celebrate.
I didn’t have the he
art to tell my mother I was pseudo
-engaged. She’d
called me last week
while she was at the supermarket, berating me for letting
Us Weekly
tell her about her own son’s engagement.
I wanted to tell her the truth at that moment, to apologize for not speaking to her for
the past two
years, to ask if we could let bygones be by
gones and reconnect again. But
she did it first.
She blamed herself for everything—for not calling as often, for not showing up to movie premieres, for not
writing
anymore
letters. I sat a
nd listene
d as she did this, wishing
I c
ould have been
just as
honest.
I should have told her that I couldn’t blame her for not calling
so often.
I’d told Joan to block
her calls when she
started to
incessantly
war
n me about “the high life.” I
stopped inviting her to movie premieres, even
telling
security to show her the curb should she turn up at one. And even though she hadn’
t written me a letter in over two
year
s
,
I still kept
all her
previous
ones
and
read them every week.
All I could say after she was done talking was, “I’ve miss
ed you so much. I’
m chartering a jet
to come get you.
”
Now that she was
in the city,
I was finding it harder to lie.
“Mr. Sterling, do
I need to contact Miss Ross to let her know
you’ll be missing the party?
” Joan raised her voice
. “
Your mother has called twice already.”
“No,” I walked towards the door
. “I’ll call my mother in the car.”
T
housands of
lights
hung
across the imported
Arborvitae trees. White wooden benches sat every ten feet, bearing the “Mr. and Mrs. Sterling” label in red cursive. Past the trees and benches was a
glass
platform stage, a bar that extended across the width of the rooftop, and a rectangular pool with dancing fire.
Selena had invited almost all of
young
Hollywood, and to my surprise, most of them actually showed up. Even tho
ugh
I
forced her
to en
force
a
no-camera policy,
numerous paparazzi were camped out across the street
and
I was pretty sure I saw a camera toting woman scaling the
side of the
building.
“I’d like to make a toast!” Selena tapped
a spoon to her champagne flute.
The guests slowly ceased their conversations
, and Selena pulled me on
stage
. “Thank you all so much for coming out to celebrate our engagement! It is great being in love and even greater whe
n our friends are so supportive!
”
I tuned her out and smiled. I looked around the room, hoping to find something else to focus on, anything else.
I saw Joan scrolling away on her cell phone,
a group of models staring at me, and Sh
elby giving me the “thumbs up.”
Is that
Kristen Stewart
?
Jennifer Lawrence
?
“
And we have d
ecided to have the wedding in October,
Matt’s favorite month,” was the next thing I heard out of Selena’s mouth.
October? That’s five months from now!
That’s not happening.
I’m dumping her after this party
.
Everyone cheered as Selena placed her lips on mine and wrapped her
a
rms around my neck.
She’s s
till a good kisser…
“Can I talk to you in private for a minute?” she whispered in my ear.
“Sure.
Let me check on my mom first.”
I walked around the rooftop
, shaking hands with fellow stars every few seconds,
and found my mom sitting at the bar.
She pursed her l
ips as I approached.
“Mom, what’s wrong?”
She turned away from me and crossed her arms.
“Mom? Tell me right now.”
She shook her head and
p
ointed. Sure enough,
paparazzi were hanging out of windows across the street. I
took her hand
and led her inside. We walked down two f
lights of steps and found a
decorations
closet.
“Are t
he paparazzi upsetting you?” I asked
. “I get tired of them too.
It would have been much worse if—”
“What are you doing Matt?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why are you marrying that girl?”
I couldn’t tell
her the truth. “I’m in love
.”
She
narrowed her eyes. “
Do you
know that mothers are the smartest women on the planet?”
“Yes.
”
“And you think
I can’t see that you
don’
t even like her
? Did you
do
this to get my attention?”
Yours and everyone else’s…
“Mom, I—”
“You two almost had me
.
It was very believable
until she said
October was your favorite month and that
you
were the one who
personally contacted the world class chef for tonight—the chef who specializes in
seafood
. You’v
e always hated seafood,
unless the
high life
has changed you even more than I thought
.
”