Take What You Want (57 page)

Alex shrugged. “I
guess so,” he said. “Can I ask you something?”

Danni licked her lips and
nodded.

“
Are
you okay with the way things are now – with the three of us?”

She
blushed again and started to sit up on the mat. “The sex is …
phenomenal,” she said. She stood up and stepped to the edge of
the pool, preparing to jump into the water.

He
watched her move; his heart shattering with each passing second.
“That's it?” he asked.
Christ!
He sounded like a wounded chick,
he
thought.

She glanced at him over her
shoulder. “You know that's a compliment, right?”

Alex
came to his feet and looked at her. He did his best to tamp down the
hurt he felt. “This is more than phenomenal sex to me, Danni.
I was hoping by now you felt the same.”

He
turned away and walked to the poolside bath house to clean-up,
hearing the splash of water behind him, as Danni dove into the pool.

Alex started the shower
water and stepped beneath the spray. He used straight arms to rest
against the tiled wall and let the water pelt against his face and
shoulders. Danni's words echoed in his head until it ached. Was
this only about the sex for her? Had she really not been feeling the
connection growing between them? How was that fucking possible, he
thought. He slapped his hand flat against the wall and let a long
string of obscenities spew from his mouth.

Maybe
he was wasting his time trying to make something work with Danni and
Chase, when that simply wasn't possible. Danni might never be able
to love him and the relationship he wanted with them wouldn't work
without her love. He could feel emotional walls closing in around
him; protecting him from harm's way. This was all too familiar
ground. How far off would the pain of loss be for him – a few
weeks … a month? It would be one more torturous break-up to
add to his growing list of failed relationships.

The thought of moving back
to L.A. flickered through his thoughts, but he couldn't do that to
Chase without talking to him first. Christ! He already loved Chase
at a level he'd never experienced before and was well on his way to
falling hard for Danni, too. How could he walk away now? Doing so
would be leaving the other half of himself behind and he wasn't sure
that was survivable.

He cursed again and shut off
the water, then stepped from the shower stall to towel dry. When he
exited the pool house, Danni was sitting on the double-wide chaise
lounge chair looking directly at him. He noticed she'd put on her
bikini again and decided to wrap his towel around his hips to conceal
his nakedness.

“
If
you're waiting for the bathroom, it's free,” he said, as he
passed by her.

Danni called his name and he
stopped. “Can we talk?” she asked.

Alex turned around slowly.
“What about?” he asked.

“
I'm
sorry for what I said earlier,” she said. “I didn't mean
it the way it sounded.”

Alex shrugged; a lame
attempt at indifference. “Whatever, Danni. If you're not
feeling it, there's not a whole lot I can do about it.” He
looked toward the house and rubbed at his face. “I've got some
shit to do inside.”

“
Alex,
you told me the only way this type of relationship can work is if we
communicate,” she said, a slight quiver to her voice. “We
can't do that if you walk away.”

Shit.
She had him with that one. He remembered explaining that to her and
now he was about to break one of his own so-called tripod rules by
going inside. He met her eyes and nodded, feeling like a complete
idiot.

“
You're
right,” he said.

Danni patted a spot on the
lounge cushion beside her. He sat down, but made sure to leave space
between them. Long moments passed and Danni was quiet. He watched
her twist her hands in her lap, then start to talk, only to stop
again. She was beyond nervous and he hated he had put her in this
position. He reached over and squeezed her thigh.

“
Just
say whatever is in your head,” he said.

His touch seemed to lend her
comfort and she offered him a weak smile.

“
It's
more than great sex,” she finally said. “And, that
scares the shit out of me.”

Alex
released the breath he was holding; relief flooding his bloodstream.
“That's understandable,” he said. “If it makes you
feel better, I'm scared, too.” She looked at him with
questioning eyes. “Don't think for one minute I have this all
figured out, Danni, because I don't.”

“
But,
you've done this before with Adam and Sarah.”

“
I've
been in other tripods, Danni, but none of them felt like this –
not even when I was with Adam and Sarah.”

“
So,
why are you scared?” she asked.

“
I'm
afraid I'm going to do something stupid to fuck this up,” he
said. “I'm afraid you'll never look at me the way you look at
Chase and I'm afraid I'm not going to be good enough for you. Is
that honest enough for you?”

Danni's eyes widened in
disbelief. “I find that hard to believe.”

“
Why?
You don't think I have insecurities?” he asked. “I'm
human, Danni, and I'm certainly not perfect. Far from it.”

“
Who
you are is part of the problem,” Danni said softly.

“
Well,
that's the one thing I can't change,” he said.

“
I
know, but I'm having trouble separating Zander from Alex,” she
said.

“
Zander
only exists on stage,” he said. “It's a job, Danni. The
man you've gotten to know is the
real
me – Alex, warts and all; who I really am.”

“
I
don't see warts, Alex. I think you're beautiful,” she said.
“But, that also makes me question why you'd settle for us when
you could have anyone you wanted.”

“
I'm
not settling,” he said.

“
Aren't
you?” she asked. “You've traveled the world. We have
little experience beyond this island. We don't make piles of money,
nor do we have famous friends, and I fear eventually you'll get bored
with us and want to move on and that makes me want to keep you at
arms length. I don't want to fall for you, only to watch you pack up
and move back to the West Coast.”

“
I'm
not going anywhere without you and Chase,” he said.

“
That's
what you say, but …”

Alex leaned in and pressed
his lips to hers. She trembled when he ran his tongue along the
seam, then her neck arched and she opened for him. His tongue
slipped inside and he gave himself over to her; all of him, wanting
her to feel the ache he had for her in this one kiss. He caught her
moan as it floated from her mouth into his and gently eased her back
against the headrest of the cushion.

“
I'm
not leaving,” he said, softly rubbing his lips to hers. “Can
you trust me with that?”

Her slender fingers wrapped
around his neck and pulled him in for another kiss.

“
I
want this, Alex, I do, but …”

“
Then,
let yourself go, Danni, and take what you want. Give yourself over
to it and just
feel
.”

-0-

“
So,
this is what goes on while I'm slaving away at work in the hot sun?”
Chase asked.

The
sound of his voice woke both Danni and Alex from their sex-induced
nap. They jerked to life on the lounge chair, snapping up to a
sitting position from the reclined snuggle they were enjoying.

Alex rubbed at his eyes,
trying to collect himself. How long had they been asleep? He
remembered the conversation; the deepest heart-to-heart he had shared
with Danni so far, and the intimacy that came with it was powerful.
He also remembered making love to her again on the lounge chair and
then curling together in exhaustion after another mind-blowing
orgasm.

“
I
didn't realize how late it had gotten,” Danni said.

Chase's
smile was wide; his eyes smoldered with lust. “The pictures
suddenly stopped,” he said, his eyes darting between Alex and
Danni. “I almost left work early to make sure you were both
okay and hadn't fucked each other to death. I thought better of it,
though, and took a walk into the woods instead. Thanks for being the
cause behind that.”

Alex watched Chase unbuckle
his leather belt and pull it slowly through the loops, one at a time;
an action so seductive Alex thought his heart might stop. He also
saw the outline of an enormous erection pressing against the front of
Chase's work pants. He held his breath when Chase yanked down the
zipper and spread open both flaps of fabric. Chase was so aroused
the tip of his cock already peeked out from the top of his boxer
briefs.

“
Do
you remember what I said, Metcalf?” Chase asked.

Alex
licked his lips and forced his gaze from Chase's cock to his focus on
his eyes.

“
I
told you to be ready for me,” Chase said, when their eyes
finally connected.

“
Oh,
fuck,” Alex said in a breathy sigh.

“
That's
right,” Chase said. “That's exactly what I'm going to do
to your tight ass.” Chase pulled off his t-shirt and tossed it
to the ground. Then he bent to untie his boots and toed them off.
His pants came next, combined with his briefs and socks, and then he
was beautifully naked and fully aroused.

Alex glanced at Danni. She
was grinning from ear-to-ear.

“
Looks
like he means business,” she said to Alex.

“
I
love it when he talks like that,” Alex said to her. “Makes
me so hard.”

Chase approached the lounge
chair, the swagger of his hips had both Danni and Alex's attention,
as did the thick erection pointing straight at them.

“
You
ready to be fucked?” Chase asked Alex.

Alex gave Chase a lop-sided
grin. “Bring it.”

Chase
took another step. “You teased me for an hour with photographs
of you and Danni,” Chase said. “Now it's
my
turn to do the teasing.” Chase leaned over the lounger
reaching for Danni; his hand slid around her neck and pulled her in
for a kiss. He eased back and nipped at her bottom lip. “Did
you enjoy your afternoon with Alex?”

“
Yes,
I did,” Danni said to Chase.

“
I
thought so,” Chase said. He pressed his forehead to hers and
sighed. “You look like a woman that's been well fucked.”

“
Does
that upset you?” she asked.

The heat in Chase's gaze
sparked. “It turns me on like you wouldn't believe,” he
said. His hand floated down the thin column of her throat and lower
to cup her bare breast. “I'd really like to show Alex just how
turned on his pictures made me. Are you okay with that; watching me
fuck him?”

“
I'd
love to see you go wild on him,” Danni said.

A
low rumble escaped Chase's mouth. “I'm glad, baby, because I
really
need to fuck