Take You Away: A Novella (5 page)

"Or do you want my whole mouth around you?" I ask him. I stretch my lips around the tip of him, preparing to take him deeper this time, but I stop as soon as I feel him tense up. I can give as good as I get in this game, and all I have to do is wait for him to break. If he expects me to ask for what I want, then I’m going to make him ask for it, too. I let him slip out of my mouth and sit back on my heels, looking up at him innocently.

His eyes are nearly black.

"Tease," he rasps. His hands move from my shoulders up to my hair, and I long for him to pull my head forward, to give in to his need and force my mouth up and down his cock. For a minute I think he’s going to do it. But Calder’s good at this game. He pushes me down onto my back. Then he grabs my legs and pushes them apart. His finger slides beneath the strap of my thong and yanks it aside.

His hand glides along my folds. Playing. Toying with me. Once or twice he lets his thumb brush against my clit, but never for long enough. And once or twice I think he’s going to slip one of his fingers inside of me, but he never gives me that satisfaction.

Meanwhile, he’s watching me intently. His eyes bore into mine, and I know he’s taking in every expression that flickers across my face. He’s looking for those places where he has me on the edge. For those moments when I’m one breath away from begging him to enter me.

And I’m watching him. Enjoying how much it turns him on to have me at his mercy. In his eyes, I can see exactly how much he wants me. Even now, I can’t believe how lucky I am that this amazing man loves me. That he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. That I'll wake up every morning to those eyes. That I’ll spend every night with his hands and lips—hands and lips that seem to find no greater pleasure than in exploring all the secrets of my body.

And sometimes I can hardly believe how equally amazing it feels to
love him
so completely. To open up every part of me, body and soul, to him. I want to know all of his joy and all of his pain. To celebrate his every happiness by his side and then turn around and be his rock during the hard times.

I haven’t quite mastered the ability to calm his worries completely with my words or my touch. Or to ease his deepest pain with my body or my desire. But I’m trying. I’m learning.

"Take me," I whisper. "I need you inside of me."

I’ve conceded defeat to him. His eyes flash, and his fingers move away from me. In one motion, he’s replaced his hand with his cock, and he sinks inside of me so easily it’s undeniable that the two of us belong together.

I close my eyes, letting the sensations rush over me. It’s not just my body that feels whole right now—it’s my heart as well. When he moves, it's like the entire world is coming together. Every time he pulls back, I want to scream for the loss of him. But when he sinks fully inside of me again, for that briefest of moments when he’s as deep in me as he can be, I could burst with the pure joy of it. We belong like this, he and I. One being. One body.

There are no games. No pain. No heartache. Only us, completely bare before each other.

His mouth drops down to meet mine, and I meet his lips with passion. I wrap my arms around him and hold him close to me, and I rock my body up to meet his movements. One rhythm. One pulse.

His lips grow more frantic as our bodies do, and I respond eagerly to the hunger. He bites down on my lip, and I cry out against his mouth. Let the neighbors hear. I don’t care.

And then suddenly he’s pulling back. Gripping me by the waist. I only have the chance to see the briefest flash of pleasure and desire in his eyes before he flips me over, back to my original position on my hands and knees. Back to the way he wanted me in the first place.

He doesn’t even wait for me to catch my breath before he drives into me again, but I don’t care. Even those brief seconds we were apart were far, far too long for me. His hands clutch my hips as he begins to move, taking me with all of his need.

It’s always wilder with him, the days when he’s lost. On the days when he’s been gripped by pain or sadness or anger. Calder's not used to talking about those things. He’s used to storing them up, letting them fill him and take possession of his body. And it shows. There’s a desperation to his motions. A madness. He needs more. And he gives more, too.

And I’m happy to take all of it.

I’m quickly tumbling toward the edge. Already my core is tightening, and I curl my fingers against the rough floor of the balcony.

"Calder…" I say into the night.

He responds with another growl, and he leans forward, grabbing me around the waist and pulling me onto his lap. This time he doesn’t tease me by toying with me though the fabric of my thong. Instead, he slips his hand beneath the lace and presses his finger right against my clit.

"Come for me, Lily," he says, his voice thick as he resumes his thrusts.

Those words make something delicious bubble up in my stomach. I let my head fall back onto his shoulder, let my cheek press against his. The edge is so close, and his finger continues its exquisite dance between my legs.

It's too much, the joy of having him inside of me. I don’t know how my body can take it. How I’m still conscious.

"Come for me," he says again. "Give me everything."

I can’t deny him, even if I wanted to. I give myself over to the pleasure, and the world explodes around me.

Calder isn’t far behind me. His hand tightens on my hip, and then I’m filled with the warmth of his desire. His love. He holds me against him, letting me have all of him.

As if he hasn’t already given me so much of himself.

Afterward, we lie on the cool concrete of the balcony floor for some time. It’s uncomfortable, but I can’t bring myself to move. And I can’t imagine being anywhere but in Calder's arms right now. He has that delicious, sated expression he always wears after we’ve made love. And the way he touches me, the way he keeps tilting his head to press kisses against my hair and face, makes it clear that he’s no more eager to disentangle himself than I am.

But it’s not long before I sense the real world coming back to him. He knows I’m here and that I love him, but I can’t replace his sister. And I can't bring his sister back for him, either.

I snuggle closer to him. I hate feeling helpless. I hate feeling like there’s nothing I can do to make this better.

Calder strokes my hair. "I know what you’re doing, Lily."

I lift my head. "What?"

His eyes are still full of shadows, but a wry humor flashes in their depths. He strokes my cheek with his thumb.

"You’re beating yourself up. Over my problems," he says.

"I’m not—"

"You are," he says softly. "And I love you for it." He brushes his lips against mine. "But you don’t have to have an answer for everything."

I squeeze my eyes shut. "I hate seeing you like this."

His thumb pauses. "And I hate seeing you look so lost."

My eyes drift open again, and the look on his face fills me with such emotion that I hardly know what to say.

"It’s not just
your
problem anymore," I remind him softly. "If you think for a minute that I’m going to leave you to deal with this on your own…" I twist my engagement ring around on my finger. When I’ve imagined us getting married, it’s always been with family and friends around us. Not with Calder and Louisa at odds. I don’t want to see those shadows in his expression on the day of our wedding.

But what am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to say?

"I just…" I begin again. But I don’t know how to finish.

And fortunately, I don’t need to.

"I know," he tells me, brushing my hair back from my face.

For a moment we just look at each other. He doesn’t try to hide any of his emotions, and even out here, with only the glow of light from the windows to show me, it’s clear that this is one of those problems that no amount of lovemaking will fix. But beneath that, I can see the fullness of his affection for me. I can see how much he hates to see me upset about this, even when I know his emotions are so much more tangled than mine.

Finally, he sits up.

"Come on," he says. "Let’s go to bed." He gives a small smile and holds his hand out to me.

It’s more than just the offer of his hand. And at the touch of his fingers, as I let him pull me to my feet, I give myself permission to forget about Lou for the night. To put aside all fears and sorrows until tomorrow and be grateful for the love we have right here.

And it works, for a while. I drift off to sleep in Calder’s arms in the bed we share. But sometime in the night, I wake to find myself alone. I reach my arm across the sheets, but Calder’s side of the mattress is cold.

I climb out of bed. I never bothered dressing after our little encounter outside, so I grab my robe and pull it on before going in search of him.

He’s on the balcony again. Staring up at the stars once more. But he looks over when he hears the sliding glass door.

"You should have woken me up," I say softly.

He gives a small smile. "You looked so peaceful. I didn’t want to disturb you."

"Maybe. But I might have been able to help you fall asleep. Or at least worn you out a little more."

His smile widens, but not nearly enough. For the second time tonight, I settle down on the balcony floor next to him.

"I just can’t stop thinking about all the mistakes I’ve made," he says after a moment.

He’s still blaming himself. And it breaks my heart.

"Sometimes it takes two people to make a mess," I reply. That lesson isn’t new to me—
I
learned it myself the hard way.

His voice is grave. "I’m the older brother. I should have been there for her. And no matter what I try to tell myself, I just can’t..." He looks off into the night. "I’m worried about her, Lily."

Once, I might have tried to convince him to let it go. Reminded him again that he can’t control his sister’s actions. But I know that isn’t the right answer now. Not with Calder.

"Then let’s find her," I say.

I can feel his eyes on me in the dark.

"How?" he asks finally.

"You’re a creative man," I say. "And I know from personal experience that when you want something, you find a way to make it happen. She’s only been gone a day. How far could she have gone?"

He rubs his face. "I don’t know. You really think we can?"

"There’s only one way to find out." I clasp his hand.

He looks over at me again, and I can feel a little of the tension leave his body through our entwined fingers. For a long moment, he just stares at me, and then he lets out a long breath.

And it’s like something’s been switched inside of him. He squeezes my hand and shakes his head, a low chuckle escaping his chest.

"What?" I ask, curious about this sudden change in his demeanor.

"You’re… amazing," he says. He raises my fingers to his lips. "Amazing."

"Oh, please," I say, suddenly embarrassed. I can feel my cheeks going hot, and I try to tug my hand away, but he refuses to release it.

He gives another chuckle. "Since when were you this modest?" He slides his thumb across the back of my palm, thoughtful again. "You have a way of making things happen, too, you know."

"Do I?"

He leans closer, and his lips brush against my ear. "You know you do. I don’t believe for a moment you’ve forgotten what power you hold over me."

He knows just how to leave me breathless with his words. I lean into him.

"And I don’t just mean sexually," he adds softly.

He doesn’t explain any more than that, but he doesn’t have to. I know he sees how much I care about him, how much this whole issue has affected me as well.

"One day soon," I whisper, "Lou’s going to be my sister, too."

His fingers move across mine until he finds my ring.

"Yes," he murmurs, his voice growing husky with desire again. "She will."

One big happy family—is it really possible? After everything Calder and Louisa have been through? I want this for him so badly. God knows Louisa isn’t exactly my favorite person in the world right now, but I meant every word I said to Calder. Lou's practically my sister. And I want to learn to open my heart to her. For Calder’s sake. For the sake of our family.

But for tonight, just tonight, I want to take him away. And when I turn my head and kiss him gently on the lips, he seems to have the same idea.

"Come," he says, standing. "Does your offer still stand?"

"My offer?"

His eyes gleam. "To wear me out."

Before I even have the chance to respond, he bends over and scoops me up in his arms. I laugh.

"Of course," I say, then nibble on his ear for good measure.

His response is a grin. The kind that makes my heart sing. And then without another word, he carries me back to bed. Tonight, we have each other.

Tomorrow, we’re going to find Louisa.

<<<<>>>>

Lou and Ward’s romance isn’t over…