Taking Chances (6 page)

“No, you eat a lot for a girl.”

“You mean I eat more than Natalie. That’s not difficult. She doesn’t eat. Period.” Almost true. I remember trying to have several talks with her throughout the years on what I thought was her eating disorder, but she always shut me down. She looked healthier recently, however. Probably got hungry from all that sex with my husband.

“It’s nice to see a woman enjoying her food,” he said.

“Oh, that I do,” I said. After taking another dip in the clear water we jumped back in the Jeep. This time I didn’t even bother to put on my cover-up. I was just going to take it off at the next beach, anyway.

The Jeep had been a marvelous idea. With the top off there was a nice wind blowing at us, and I’m sure my hair looked a frightful mess what with the salt water and the wind. I looked over at Harvey at one point and saw he was enjoying himself, jamming to the music on the radio. He also left his shirt off and sat there with one arm on the steering wheel, as if he’d been driving on the wrong side of the road his entire life. I couldn’t see his eyes with the sunglasses, but his face was relaxed into a kind of half-smile.

I tried to enjoy the ride as well and not think of the shattered marriage I was trying to escape from, but it crept up on me often. I wondered what Greg was up to that day... if he and Natalie had kissed and made up. I wondered what the divorce process would be like, how long and how much money. Supposedly, it was a nightmare, but a necessary one. I could never forgive Greg and be happy with him again. I would definitely never trust him again.

As we hopped from beach to beach and drove over hills and around cliffs, I fell in love with the island. Though it was where my marriage was finally destroyed, I couldn’t hold St. Thomas responsible for that. It was all too beautiful to hold the blame for Greg’s dumb mistakes. I looked around me at every stop and realized why Tia Ana had wanted to return. One day I’d love to come back— a day when I would be happy again.

B
y the time
we returned the rental car I was beat. My legs were sore, my eyes were stinging from the sun and salt water, and I was starving. We headed back to the room, and as we reached the door, I realized Harvey was coming in there with me. Was he planning on sharing a room the entire trip?

“So, Harvey... We’ve gotten closer, but, um, I don’t really think that I’d like to share my bed with you,” I said, trying not to be blunt and say, “Get a room.”

“I have the couch,” he said, sitting on it.

“It’s so uncomfortable to sleep like that for the next five nights,” I said, hoping he’d take my protestations as a hint. He shot up, took the couch cushions off and pulled, revealing a sofa bed.

I stared at him. “Why didn’t you sleep on that last night?”

“I was too drunk to remember my own name. Luckily, I remembered your room number or some other gal was going to have a nice shock this morning.” I shook my head, giving up. Whatever, what was I going to do alone in my room, anyway? Nothing but cry. He would keep me from wallowing.

It took a little coordination, since I was not used to bringing my clothes with me into the bathroom when I showered, but I got ready and did a good job of keeping my dignity. Just because we were sharing a room did not mean he had to see me with a towel wrapped around my head and me putting on my face cream. While he was showering, I plucked a few stray eyebrow hairs and applied some light makeup.

When he came out, he had a towel wrapped around his waist. Only a towel. He went to his suitcase, rummaging around, pieces of clothing spilling off the sides. I didn’t want to look so as not to make him (well, more myself) uncomfortable, but when he was facing away, I couldn’t help myself. His back looked so… strong is the only word I could come up with. There were muscles in so many places and no fat whatsoever. It was strange to be in such closed quarters with an unclothed, attractive man that wasn’t my husband. He went back to the bathroom with his clothes, winking at me as he passed by.

I know what it is to get all hot and bothered by the sight of a good-looking man, as I had countless times by Greg. It was absolutely delicious, and I always knew that Greg would come around and take care of my needs, as I would his. But the dynamic right now between Harvey and I shifted in such a way that I had to step outside onto the balcony for some fresh air.
What the hell?
I wasn’t sure what had just happened, but my nether regions were ablaze and my heart was palpitating at full speed. My cheeks were hot and surely red from the heat building inside of me. This was something much more intense than whenever I was hot for Greg. Vulgar as it sounds, I was horny. And not only that, I found myself thinking that it’s
too bad I can’t have sex for several more nights.

The breeze on my face calmed me, and I took several deep breaths, willing my skin to return to its normal shade of pale. I mean, come on,
it’s Harvey.
He knocked on the sliding door, and I jumped. He opened it.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. Ready?” he said. He didn’t even realize
how
ready I was.

We took a cab to a restaurant by the water, making sure we were far enough away not to run into Greg and Natalie having dinner. The food was delicious, a wonderful mix of seafood, which we sampled from each other’s plates. I sat across from Harvey, gazing at his handsome face as he talked, and I thought back to his magnificent male body in that white towel.

“And bam— I hit the guy,” he said. He was telling me about the fight he got into last night. Apparently, a guy drunker than Harvey got into an argument with him over a barstool. Men can be dumb.
And sexy
, I thought, as he kept talking. “So he reels back, lands on his ass, and looks up at me with this stupid face as if he didn’t know how he got there, and then he laid back and passed out. I’m telling you, he was wasted. I got out of there because his friends were coming at me, and I outran them.”

I shook my head and mentally slapped myself. Snap out of it, Audrey. Harvey is totally off-limits. Besides, I’m still married, and just because Greg broke his vows that doesn’t mean I get to… right? I recently had a miscarriage too. I’ve had a double blow with this affair rearing its ugly head, and I’m extremely confused, hurt, and vengeful. The hormones are throwing me off. Right?

“Good thing you didn’t get hurt,” I said, trying to sound nonchalant.

“My hand’s sore, especially from driving today,” he said, opening and closing his hand. I noticed he was still wearing his ring. I looked at my hand and at my own wedding band and engagement ring. How happy I had been to get that ring!

Harvey must have noticed my line of sight because he said, “So are we having our divorce party tonight?” As soon as he said it, I tried to stifle a yawn, but it came out anyway.

“Sorry,” I said.

“Oh, thank God, I’m exhausted,” he said. I laughed.

“Good. Another night?”

“Yeah, let’s get out of here.” We paid and left. As we got back to the room, there was a tingling sensation again as I thought of us sleeping in the same room. I tried to think of something else. My mom... Yes, my mom might want to hear from me. I would go on Facebook and send her a message. I did just that, sending her a few pictures, hoping she didn’t notice Greg wasn’t in any of them. She wasn’t online, so I put the phone away and fell right to sleep.

W
e slept so
long that we woke up to a startled housekeeper apologizing profusely.

“It’s okay!” Harvey and I both called out as the lady ran out of the room. I laughed throwing myself back on my pillow. That was an abrupt awakening. The clock said 10:39, and I grumbled.

“We’re going zip-lining today,” Harvey announced.

My head shot up. “What?!” I exclaimed.

“Oh, yeah,” is all he said.

“No way. I don’t like heights or roller coasters,” I confessed, though it wasn’t much of a confession that I was pretty much a chicken about a lot of things.

“That’s fine, this isn’t a roller coaster. And you can close your eyes so you don’t see how high we are.”

“That makes no sense,” I said, sitting up. He was still laying down, staring at the ceiling.

“I’m going zip-lining, and you have to come along.”

“You can’t make me.”

“You’ll come,” he said.

“I won’t,” I said firmly.

Two hours later, I was on a bus full of zip lining enthusiasts, each more excited than the next, and I was ready to piss in my pants.

“I can’t,” I said for the 100
^th
time.

“If you can’t then you can’t, but I want you to at least see what you’ll be missing.”

I saw it, alright. They strapped us with helmets and pads, and we signed our lives away with the waivers. I could see people disappearing one by one from the edge of the platform. Some, mostly the women, screamed. I wasn’t sure why I’d even agreed to come this far. My money was wasted on something I would not do. I went up to the platform, watching Harvey’s eyes glaze over in excitement. Soon it was our turn, and Harvey looked at me. I shook my head, my eyes almost tearing up.

“I’d hold your hand through it if I could,” he said, reaching for it now. His touch singed me. It was pure fire, and those feelings I’d tried to push away the night before came back to me.

“OK,” I said, riding the high.

“OK?” he asked, as if to make sure. His face broke out into a smile, and I melted. Honestly, I melted.

“Let’s do this!” I said, trying to psych myself. Harvey patted me on the back as I was strapped onto the line.

“See you on the other side,” he said. I took one last look at him, gathering all of my courage, and then I was off the platform.

I screamed— oh boy, did I scream. But I was taking in everything around me, too. The screaming stopped, and I let the downward sensation take over. It was exhilarating, gliding through the trees, peeking out over to the bay every time there was a long stretch of space without cover. It was so gorgeous I even laughed. The stop at the end wasn’t as graceful as I would have liked, but I was thanking the heavens I was alive as they unhooked me at the platform. My legs were shaking like jelly, but I managed to move off to the side so I could make way for Harvey. He gave a big whoop as he drew near, and he landed much more firmly than I had.

“That’s what I’m talking about!” he yelled as the worker unstrapped him. He came over and put his arm around me, giving me a little squeeze.

“I was terrified,” I said, the adrenaline still pumping through my veins.

“That makes it all the more thrilling and makes you all the more brave. I’m proud of you. Now let’s go to the next one,” he said, pulling me along.

“Wait, there’s more?” I asked, stopping short.

“Of course. There are like 5 more,” he said, looking at me worried.

I looked into his eyes far longer than I ever had, much longer than was certainly appropriate, but he didn’t break eye contact either. I smiled and looked down.

“Fine, let’s go,” I said, hoping I wouldn’t regret it.

It was great fun, the entire zip lining experience, but I noticed that I was getting sore towards the end. Poor Harvey was feeling it more than me, and we were downright bushed by the time we got back to the hotel. We ate on the terrace and relaxed by the pool. And by relaxed I mean we passed out. I’m just glad we were in a shady spot because I’m sure we slept for an hour.

The pool was one of those infinity pools that looked out onto the ocean, and when I woke up, I stood there for a long time watching the waves hit the cliffs off to the side of our hotel. I was standing there on the pool’s edge admiring the view when Harvey popped up next to me with a drink in each hand.

“Here, a virgin something or other. I told the bartender to give me the fruitiest non-alcoholic thing he could make.” I laughed, thanking him for my drink. We stood there, watching as the sun neared the horizon. It was a fabulous spot to see the sunset, and I was mesmerized by the colors in the sky being reflected on the water. Harvey looked engrossed by it as well, and I smiled, thinking of how little I had really known him before when he was just Natalie’s husband. He was kind, fun, adventurous, funny. Extremely good looking. I had to stop thinking of him in that way, I said to myself with a sigh. It’s surprising how one second he was Natalie’s husband, and the next he was this big, unknown hulk of a man.

That night we were again too tired to go out dancing. We ate dinner at a restaurant nearby, and had a few drinks at the terrace of our hotel, watching the moonlight illuminate the beach. Then Harvey suggested we walk on the beach. I considered it a moment, but then it reminded me too much of a romantic activity. We couldn’t cross that line. Not that I knew whether he wanted to cross that line or not. He’d been a perfect gentleman, and besides that wink and that extra long gaze at the zip line (which could just be construed as him playing around), there was nothing to suggest he would want to cross the line.

“I’m very tired,” I said, not making any eye contact.

“I’m gonna hang for a bit then and have another drink.”

“Try not to punch anyone else,” I said. He smiled and told me he’d try not to.

I went up, glad to have a respite from confusing feelings for a while. The good thing about it, however, was that it gave me less time to think of Greg. That quickly changed as I got to the hallway and saw Greg exiting Natalie’s room. I tried to turn around and get out of there, but I heard him call my name. I froze, not wanting to talk to him, but wanting to get it over with, too.

“Where have you been? Every time I come looking for you in the room you’re not there,” he said.

“Greg, that’s none of your concern now.” My tone was harsh, but not as harsh as I would have liked it to be.

“Don’t say that,” he said softly. “Please, let’s go talk somewhere.” I sighed, walking to my room. I opened the door and let him come in. He looked at Harvey’s suitcase.

“He’s been staying here?”

“Well he hasn’t been in Natalie’s room has he?” I asked.

“I’m just sleeping there because you kicked me out. Trust me that nothing is going on.”

“Trust? Trust!” I yelled.

“Alright, I understand it will take time for you to trust me again, but I’ll do anything. It… It was such a fucked up mistake. I don’t even know how to begin apologizing to you, Audrey, but I’ll do it for the rest of my life. I’m so sorry baby,” he said, getting closer all the time.

“Stay away from me,” I said. He stepped back. “Listen closely, Greg. We are done. I’m not even a bit willing to put up with someone cheating on me. This marriage is over, and it’s not because I’m saying it’s over now. It’s because you couldn’t keep it in your pants however long and however many times this was going on.”

“I’ll tell you whatever you want to know,” he said.

I covered my ears. “Ew, no I don’t want to hear any of that.”

“I do,” Harvey said, as he walked into the room. Alarm bells went off in my head. This would not end well.

“How many times did you fuck my wife, you piece of shit?” Harvey repeated.

“Look, I think you should talk to Natalie.”

“No, I wanna talk to you,” Harvey said, inching closer. He was itching to fight him, I could tell. And he’d been drinking, so if the story he’d told me about the bar was any indication, fists might start flying soon.

“Greg, get out,” I said. He looked at me, surprised that I was kicking him out. Nobody moved. “Get out now!” I yelled.

Harvey moved closer to him, and Greg walked out. I grabbed Harvey’s arm as he started to follow him. The door closed.

“Please, Harvey, stay here,” I said, moving him towards the couch so he could sit down. He did, but then he got back up again and paced the room. He was fuming. His ears were red, and his facial muscles were tensed up. Finally, he walked out to the balcony. I breathed a sigh of relief and left him to cool off for a few minutes. I brushed my teeth and changed into my PJs, no longer worried that there would be an altercation… at least for that night.

He was still sitting out there when I finished changing. I opened the door, peeking my head out.