Taking Risks (7 page)

             
That was twice in one day that someone had commented on how I looked in a positive way. Accepting a compliment was harder than I ever thought it would be.

             
“I don’t know, I guess I never found a guy who caught my eye. I can be a lot to handle sometimes and generally people try to stay clear of me.”

             
Jane sighed, “Yeah I’ve seen you talking to yourself quite a bit. It’s cool, totally weird, but nothing I’ll hold against you.” She winked at me and got up to walk out of the room. I couldn’t decide if I thought that she was uncomfortable or her break was just over. Shortly after Jane left, Remi walked in and gave me her signature greeting, “Hey chick! What’s up?”

             
I started to speak but realized that I never really thought about how I would start the conversation. I decided to bring something up that Jane had said. “How do you all know that I’m a virgin?”

             
Remi’s jaw dropped to her chest in surprise. I normally wasn’t the kind of person to come out and ask questions so bluntly. She composed herself quickly and laughed, “Well for one thing I’ve
never
seen someone turn down so many hot guys before.”

             
It never occurred to me that I might’ve been turning down legit invitations. I always thought that I was just avoiding bullies and guys who just wanted in my pants when Remi or Jane wouldn’t give them the time of day. Remi continued, “And we always see you talking to yourself or laughing at things that aren’t there. I would say that you’re in serious need of a good roll-in-the-hay.”

             
I blushed at her last comment and then dropped my bomb on her. “I think I’m seeing someone now…” I muttered.

             
Remi bounced on her toes and said, “
Oh. My. God.
It’s that hot guy that’s sitting out there isn’t it? The one that was here talking to you the other night?”

             
Wait. What?
“He’s out there right now?” I hadn’t expected that.

             
“If we’re talking about the same guy. Tall, dark, and gorgeous? He’s sitting in your section.” She looked like she was irritated that I was more confused than excited.

             
Without saying anything else to her, I threw my apron on and clocked in five minutes early. I peeked around the corner into the dining room and saw that Risk was sitting at the same table as the last time. He still wore his sexy yellow polo shirt and he was staring down at his hands, looking irritated. He was with his parents again and his dad was already sloppy drunk at four o’clock in the afternoon. His mother didn’t seem as composed as she had the last time either. She must’ve gotten into the hard stuff and it prevented her from keeping up with her façade.

             
Next to Risk, his parents looked even more disgusting. They both had sunken faces and wore stained clothes. Their eyes drooped from drunken fatigue and both of them had greasy hair from days of laying around in their own filth, or so I was guessing. Risk looked up from his hands and saw me. He shrugged his shoulders after motioning to his parents as if he were apologizing for them, and I gave him a warm smile in return. Maybe someone who was alive needed my help for a change.

             
I tried my best to saunter over to his table, the way Remi once taught me, and he gave me a strange look. It was a look that I wasn’t used to seeing on anyone. Was it…
lust
? I did my best not to look intimidated by the thought, and also to reciprocate the look. When I got to his table he made sure that he spoke up before his dad got a chance to be a jerk off. “Is something wrong with you?”

             
I didn’t know why he thought that. “Um, I don’t think so. Why?”

             
“When you were walking over here you were making a strange face.”

             
Oh…this is embarrassing.
“I was just trying to mimic the look that you were giving me.” I whispered and I felt my cheeks get hot. I hoped that his parents weren’t paying attention to our conversation. Risk cracked up laughing for a second and then leaned in to whisper to me, “You don’t have to try and be seductive, you’re already incredibly sexy.” It sent chills down my spine to hear him say that and I gasped. I backed away and tore my gaze from Risk to take his parents drink order while trying to ignore my blazing cheeks.

             
When I went to pick the drinks up from the bar, Remi was giving me that look that girls give each other when their crush is around. The I-know-you-just-had-your-panties-twisted-in-a-knot look. I’m sure my cheeks turned bright red again and I made a point to avoid her. She would have to wait for her gossip until
I
knew more about my situation.

             
I got Risk and his parents their drinks and went to serve some other tables. The bar was pretty full that night with Monday night football fans. As I scurried around from table to table, taking orders and filling empty glasses, I caught Risks mother staring at me again. I couldn’t tell if she hated me or if she was only curious of me. Either way, she gave me the heebie-jeebies. When I was almost done with my shift I decided that I couldn’t hold out anymore, and my customers would have to wait a minute while I emptied my bladder. After I washed my hands, I walked out into the hallway and almost bumped into Risks mom. I apologized and tried to scoot around her but she cut me off.

             
“What do you want with my son?” She slurred the words and swayed on her feet. She had definitely had more than enough to drink.

             
“What do you mean? We’re just friends…” I didn’t necessarily lie to her. We just hadn’t established what we were to each other yet. We had only been on one date.

             
“I see what you’re doing to him. You think you can just shake your ass at some handsome boy and he’ll be at your every beck and call, well that’s
not
going to happen. He has other people to take care of. We’ve been feeding and housing that little bastard for
years
and now he’s gonna take care of us without any
sluts
distracting him.” She spat at me.

             
I didn’t know what to say to her. I couldn’t believe that this woman would talk that way about her
child!

             
“Risk is a great person, he’s no bastard. He doesn’t deserve for you to be talking about him that way.”

             
“You don’t know anything about Risk. If you knew about him, or his past, you would be spitting on him instead of trying to stick your tongue down his throat. He’s a bastard and he’ll never be anything different.” She stomped away leaving me there temporarily frozen in shock.

             
I worked the rest of my shift avoiding Risk as much as I could. I didn’t even wave goodbye to him as I practically ran out of Rocktop. I was conflicted with what to believe about him. I was hearing so many bad things but my gut was telling me that they were wrong. Risk was a good person, that much I could see, but I wasn’t sure if I was prepared to deal with his baggage. I already had plenty of my own.

             
When I got home Gray was there and I noticed that he looked anxious, but I shrugged it off. I wasn’t used to being away from him for so long and I had missed seeing him at several moments throughout the day.

             
“Hey! Was your day super boring? Mine definitely wasn’t…” Gray interrupted me to drop a bomb.

             
“I think that you should go somewhere else to stay for a while. There’s something going on around here and I think it’s going to get dangerous.”

             
“What are you talking about?” I said. It wasn’t like Gray to freak out about things, and he knew I had nowhere else to go.

             
“I went looking for the boy today, but when I went to the old town square to look around I found something really scary. A bunch of the angry ones are gathering there, and none of the other Lost Ones seem to know why. I went back again this afternoon and the number of them had already doubled. Something bad is going to happen around here. Those things don’t just get together to have parties.”

             
“They all know I can see ghosts, don’t they?” I said and silently hoped that they didn’t. I didn’t want red eyed crazies following me around.

             
“I don’t know about all of them, but I can’t imagine that ghosts gossip any less than the living do and one of them is bound to know about you.”

             
I said a few curse words before calming down and very firmly telling Gray, “I can’t leave now. My life is just now starting to feel normal for the first time
ever
. Besides, I would have absolutely no place to go. I’m stuck here and I don’t want to leave anyway so I suggest that we hang around and see how this plays out. It may be nothing.”

             
“Promise me that you’ll stay away from there Marlee.” Gray knew that if he could get me to make the promise that I would keep it, and he looked desperate. “I’m really scared for you, Spud.”

             
“I’ll stay away from the old square, I promise, but I’m still going to look for Little Dirty Boy. It’s not fair that we give up on him just because we’re scared.”

             
Gray nodded in agreement and then I went upstairs to get ready for bed. The sheets seemed softer beneath me than normal, and I was feeling like I needed to take a mental break. My mind felt tired from all of the anxious situations I had been in lately. I fell asleep next to Gray while he sang the New Kids on the Block song “I’ll be Loving You (Forever). I often thought about how Gray must have loved the eighties. He had the eighties hair style and musical preferences and his dance moves were definitely something from that generation.

             
The next day I actually made it to school on time…with Grays help. When I got to my English class the first thing that I noticed was that Risks seat was empty. I really wanted to talk to him about what the rumors I had been hearing about him and sort out fact and fiction, but it was going to have to wait. I caught the Mean Girls snickering at me in the middle of class. I rolled my eyes at them and made sure that they saw me do it. Right before lunch time I received a text from Risk that said, “
Hey I don’t know what happened last night, but I hope we’re okay. Couldn’t make it to school today but I’ll be back tomorrow. See you then xoxo”

             
I didn’t know what to think about the “hugs and kisses” part at the end, but I wasn’t unhappy about it. The whole relationship with him was becoming way too complicated, too fast. He and I needed to talk as soon as possible before I freaked out and never spoke to him again just to avoid the stress. I’ve never liked wondering and waiting.

             
The rest of the school day passed and I had a slow night at work. I had gotten a few more texts from Risk throughout the day, but I never replied to any of them. Remi wasn’t working that night so she wasn’t there to grill me about the night before. I was sent home from work an hour early because of the lack of customers. When I got home I joked around with Gray a bit, who followed me all day to make sure no red eyed weirdo’s got me, and then I went to bed to get some sleep.

            
 
“Ugh, school again. Damn it.” Gray laughed as he watched me struggle around to pound my alarm clack to dust. I had the nightmare again, but I was scared to tell Gray about it. I didn’t want him to overreact over a silly dream. I made sure to pretend like I was a little peppier than normal so he wouldn’t catch on to me.

             
I took my time getting ready, not wanting to deal with the Risk drama, but eventually I made it out of my house and to school. I was starting to worry a little about how tired I had felt lately. Was it the nightmare? Was I working too much? I decided that I’d figure it out later, or just eventually slip into a coma.

             
At my locker I felt a warm hand lightly grab my waist. I jumped at the contact and spun around, only to come nearly nose to nose with Risk. I could feel his warm breath on my lips and it smelled sweet. His hand was still on my waist and our groins were barely touching. I was completely aware of every spot that he was touching me and I tingled in all of the right places.

             
“We need to talk.” He said. He was starting to breath heavier and he was looking at me funny again.

             
I let out a breathy reply, “Absolutely.” And then Risk grabbed my backpack and keys and led me out of the front door of the school.

             
Gray raised an eyebrow at me as he followed, and I only shrugged my shoulders because I was just as confused as he was. We got to my car and Risk motioned me into the passenger side as he opened the door for me.

             
“Um,
you
are driving
my
car?”

             
“Yes. You look like you haven’t slept in weeks. I’m driving.”

             
Risk hadn’t even known me for
weeks
so I wondered just how bad I really looked. Gray followed his comment up with, “You really do look like shit today. Sorry, but you do.” I stuck my tongue out at him as he appeared in the back seat. Risk caught me out of the corner of his eye and raised an eyebrow at me in confusion.

             
“Where are we going?” I asked. We were headed north away from town.

             
“I know a place where no one will bother us.”

             
We drove for about twenty minutes and I started to get nervous as I saw how secluded we were.

             
“I hope you’re not bringing me out here to murder me. No one likes me so you’ll never get famous for my death, also, I have weapons stashed all over this car.” The farther away from civilization we got, the more I realized just how little I actually knew about Risk. I was actually starting to get a little jumpy.

             
Risk smiled slyly at me as he pulled into a clearing in the woods. He stopped and shut the car off. I glanced at Gray, who looked curious but not uneasy, and then Risk turned to me. I could see the desire in his eyes and I started to sweat as we watched each other getting tenser by the second.

             
“Uh…Should I leave?” Gray said and it snapped me out of my trance. I looked away from Risk and shook my head nonchalantly so that Gray would know that I needed him to stay.

             
“So what’s up with you? You’ve been avoiding me.” Risk said.

             
I took a deep breath. “Your mom cornered me at the bar yesterday…”

             
Risk seemed to get anxious and rubbed his palms on his jeans. “Well…What did she say?”

             
I repeated the conversation between his mother and I word for word, even the parts that I called him my friend and defended him. He didn’t look surprised.

             
He lowered his head and started fiddling with a fray on his jeans. “You know she can’t just stake her claim to me. I’m an adult now, and they don’t even want me anyway. I’m not their biological son.”

             
So at least I now knew that the rumor of Risk being adopted was true, though his mother nearly confirmed it when she called him a bastard.

             
“I’ve heard that your parents say that you’re crazy and dangerous. They say that you’ve had a bad past. What’s that about?”

             
“Look Marlee, I know that you feel like you barely know me, but I don’t know much about you either. If you want to be…whatever it is that you want to be with me, than you’re going to have to be patient until I’m ready to tell you my story. It’s pretty interesting too so I suggest you stay tuned.” He said and revealed his movie star smile. How could he do that? How could he start off talking so serious and then be smirking by the time he was done? I could tell that life had dealt him a bad hand, so I wondered if making everything a joke was a coping mechanism for him, or a way to hide.

             
“I have some things I need to talk to you about too, but like you said, you’ll have to wait until I’m ready. I need you to have a chance to get to know me so you can decide if I’m crazy or not.” I confessed and Risk gave me an uneasy look, but then shrugged it off. It was the time to be real and honest with each other as much as we could be for now.

             
“So what is it that you want with me? Friendship? Security? I can’t figure it out.” I tried to ask confidently but I could feel my cheeks heat in embarrassment.

             
Risk sighed as he searched for the right words. “That’s a hard question Marlee. I’ve never really been the relationship type. All I can tell you is that I feel something unique with you, but I’m also scared that we aren’t going to like each other once all the secrets are out. Why don’t we start off dating, nothing exclusive or labeled, and see where that leads us.”

             
“I can handle that, I think.” I heard Gray laughing quietly in the back seat. He knew that I had never had a boyfriend before so being exclusive wasn’t going to be a problem for me. “Where are we anyway?” There was no way that he just found this place at random with all the twists and turns that he took.

             
“I come here when I don’t want my parents to find me. I can have peace for a while when I’m here.” He looked at peace as he observed the clearing.

             
“Where are you from?”

             
He looked at me as if he were surprised that I was starting the getting-to-know-you process so soon. I figured that we may as well start since we had skipped out of school anyway.

             
“Um, here, actually. I was born here and my parents moved to some back woods town in Alabama when I was three. That’s where we lived until we came back here.”

             
I heard a bored sigh from Gray and then he ghost vanished out of the car. Once he was out he walked around the clearing to take in the scenery.

             
“What do you keep looking at?” Risk asked.

             
My body stiffened at the question, but I was used to getting caught being weird so I was quick to answer. “Oh, just admiring the scenery. It’s beautiful out here.” Risk starting rambling on about how he found the place and my inner self was wiping sweat off of her forehead and thanking the heavens that he bought it.

             
We spent the rest of the afternoon asking each other simple questions while carefully avoiding the sensitive subjects that we knew were off limits at the moment. I planned on putting off telling Risk about Gray and my “special abilities” until I was forced into it. When we were driving back into the school parking lot I remembered something that I wanted to ask Risk. "Why do you miss so much school?” It was probably one of those sensitive subjects, but I was too curious. He had only been going to that school for three weeks and had already missed three days. I was surprised when he answered me.

             
“Sometimes I get scheduled to work during the weekdays and I
need
my job.” He said it very matter of factly and I knew that he needed his job to take care of his parents. His mom told me herself at the bar that it was Risks turn to take care of them now.

             
“I bet that working on cars is better than waiting tables for a bunch of perves with your ass hanging out. Talk about being fed to the fish.” Risk joked.

             
“It’s not so bad. Having several men each night lusting after me is kind of flattering.” I said and then laughed heartily at the joke on myself. Men obviously didn’t lust after me. I looked up at Risk and was taken back what I saw in his eyes. He looked a little angry, but there was also a look of pure desire that was unmistakable. I had never felt sexier in my entire life. The longer he looked at me like that the heavier my breathing got. I parted my lips and prepared myself for Risk to kiss me hard and deep. All of the sudden he got a pained look on his face and got out of the car. Seconds later, the passenger door was opened for me.

             
That was the second time that I had felt rejected from Risk and he knew what I wanted this time for sure. I got out of the car and stomped to the driver’s side snatching my keys from him as I passed. I was going to pout, and he was going to
know
that I was pouting. I plopped down into the driver’s seat and turned the key in the ignition. After I slammed the car in drive I looked up to see Risk shaking his head and laughing. That pissed me off even worse so I put my foot down on the gas and pealed out of the school parking lot.

             
Gray got into the front seat with me and he was laughing too. “Oh man, you got schooled!” I glared a hole right through his stupid ghosty body. “Watch the road! You’re going to get us killed.” Damn him. He knew I had a morbid sense of humor. I laughed at his joke on himself, but I hated every minute of it. I pulled into the parking lot at work and huffed. I needed to ask Gray something uncomfortable, but he was a man and I was a woman, and I needed advice from the male perspective.

             
“I need to ask you something, and I need for you not to laugh or make jokes about it. Don’t even ever speak of it again, got it?”

             
He smirked at me curiously and then saluted me like we were in the military and I was his superior. “Yes ma’am.” He said.

             
“Risk won’t kiss me, and I feel like it would feel better if he just punched me in the face rather than reject me. Is it such a big deal to me because I’m a virgin?”

             
“Oh Mar, rejection hurts everyone. Duh. But it wouldn’t hurt for you to cut him some slack. I can tell he’s a good guy and I see the way he looks at you. I’m an amazing judge of character and I just
know
this is going to be a good thing, okay?” I nodded in response. That’s when Gray decided to go ahead and be immature. “You could use a good spanking though.” He wiggled his eyebrows at me and I karate chopped the air that made up his ghosty form. He disappeared from inside of the car and reappeared in front of the bar. He was pretending to be shot, and then he threw himself down on the ground where he simulated a seizure. Right then and there I decided that the very first thing I would do when I died would be to beat the shit out of Gray.

             
That was my last night of work until Saturday, and the next day would be my date with Risk. I wasn’t so nervous anymore since we had started getting to the bottom of some of the rumors, but I was still keeping a huge secret from him, and I was sure that his secret was going to be just as big. I was really hoping that we wouldn’t get ourselves in too deep with each other before those secrets came to the surface.

             
I knew that I would be working with Remi tonight and I knew that I wasn’t going to get out of telling her about Risk. Last time we worked together was the night that I had started to tell her about him and he was already in the bar. When I walked into the employee room Remi’s face lit up. “SO!!! Are you going to tell me about Mr. Hot Pants?” She said and it made my mind wonder to Risks pants…

             
I shook that thought away and told Remi, “He’s very nice and as of right now we are dating with no labels, whatever that means…”

             
Remi’s bright face turned into a disapproving scowl. “When a relationship has “no labels” it’s just a man’s way of saying that he doesn’t want a relationship, but would love a good booty call.” I had a hard time believing that Risk would try and defile me right off the bat. I was having a hard enough time just getting him to kiss me, however, he did have a way with heating my body with just a look.

             
“So what? I can do that too. We aren’t in love…I can handle it.”

             
Remi looked at me in surprise and then surprise turned to excitement. She smacked me on the shoulder and said, “You slut!” She obviously approved of casual sex.

             
I worked out the rest of my shift and Gray seemed to have fun pretending to flirt with a hot girl in business attire that appeared to be on a date. He answered all of the questions that she directed at the man that she was
actually
with, and made hand gestures like you would if you were really caught up in conversation. At one time in the night I actually looked over to see him in the woman’s lap. He only did it to make me laugh, and I did…hysterically.