Tales of the Hood (12 page)

“Sir she's being checked over now so you will be notified when we have any news,” the receptionist replied.

“Okay can I use your phone to call my girlfriend? She's Shakira's mother.”

“Yes course.”

I tapped out her number and waited edgily, “Hello,” Vanessa answered.

“Hey Vanessa you need to get to the hospital now. There's something wrong with Shakira, she started burning up out of nowhere. Just come please,” I spoke rapidly.

“Okay. Slow down babe, I'm on my way now, don't worry just tell me what happened when I get there,” she said before hanging up. It was another hour before Vanessa arrived.

“You took your time,” I moaned.

“Sorry I got caught up in traffic. Is there any news?” she said fussing about.

“No not yet. They said they would tell us when they find out what's wrong. There doing some tests.”

We both sat down, counting the minutes as they flew by. Moments later a doctor approached us, “Would you like to follow me to the consultation room please. I have a few things I would like to share with you.” We followed the short stubby man into a room and sat down. “We have checked over Shakira thoroughly and discovered the problem. She has a rapidly worsening fever which is the cause of the dramatic rise in her temperature. In order to reduce this she would need a blood transfusion from both parents, which I assume are you two. The blood has to be the same blood type as her own for the transfusion to be effective so ideally we use the parents. We would like to do this as soon as possible to avoid any mishaps, so with your consent would I be able to collect some blood now?” he explained.

“Yeah course I'll give blood but Jayden isn't Shakira's biological father. Does that mean his blood wouldn't be suitable?” Vanessa queried.

“We can check if he has the same blood type as the baby and if that's the case then the transfusion should be successful,” he added.

Before he even finished his sentence I had my jacket sleeve rolled up for the injection. Even though Shakira wasn't my baby I had unconditional love for her and I just wanted to be the father figure she needed. After the nurse took both mine and Vanessa's blood we were told to wait in the waiting room until further notice.

A while later the same doctor that we with earlier sat with us. “We have carried out the necessary procedures in which to go about completing the blood transfusion but I'm afraid we won't have the results until tomorrow. We would advise you to go home and get some rest then come back tomorrow for the results, as you are unfortunately unable to see Shakira at this present time. Thank you for your co-operation and patience,” he clarified. He then gave us some forms to fill out and left the room.

“How am I meant to wait until tomorrow to see my little girl when I know she's ill?” Vanessa said, starting to cry.

“At least we know this is the best place for her right now. We have to keep composed for her sake,” I replied, giving her a hug. I helped her up and we began to walk to the exit. “Don't worry, she will be fine. She's strong. Everything's going to be alright,” I tried to reassure Vanessa.

“I really hope so Jay because I can't cope with losing a child,” she said, staring at me blankly.

We drove home in silence. I think both of our minds were occupied by the well-being of Shakira. When we got inside we both went straight to bed. I lay next to Vanessa filled with sadness but a glint of hope. I wasn't going to let negative influence my judgement that Shakira was going to make it through this.

***

When morning came me and Vanessa didn't hesitate to get ready.

“Jay what do you think they're going to tell us?” she asked nervously.

“I have no idea, but if it's good news I won't mind what they tell us,” I replied, trying to keep her calm.

We drove down to the hospital and handed in the forms we were given the day before. We waited anxiously for something to be said; anything, but time seemed to drag on for eternity. Moments later the doctor called us to follow him to Shakira's ward. When we got there she looked unrecognisable. Wires leaked from her everywhere and she was breathing funny. We sat down with the doctor with nothing but fear in our hearts. We didn't know what to expect.

“Good afternoon. I hope you're holding up okay. I have two sets of news for you regarding your daughter. First of all the blood transfusion was successful and Shakira is recovering from her fever slowly. Everything went well and she should be ready to go home soon. The second thing that I would like to tell you may shock you. Yesterday you told me Jayden wasn't the biological father of Shakira so you had doubts if his blood would be accepted. Well Jayden is actually Shakira's biological father which is the reason the blood was accepted, contributing to her recovery,” the doctor said, dropping a major bombshell.

“Are you serious? I mean how?” I replied in disbelief.

“Yes very serious. We tested both bloods against Shakira's and they are both a match to being her parents. I can understand that this must be a lot to take in considering you have been unaware of this since her birth but she's healthy and that was the goal,” he explained further.

My head was vacant until Vanessa stood up and kissed me. “Jay did you hear that? All this time I thought Maurice was her dad but I could never have a DNA test done because, you know…” she said trailing off.

“Yeah I hear that. I just can't believe it. She's actually mine. I don't even care how it happened from how it didn't happen. I'm a dad!” I said, filled with exultation. I walked up to the bed and took hold of Shakira's hand. “Did you hear that baby? I'm your daddy,” I said, smiling as a tear ran down my face.

“Shakira will be allowed to leave in a few days. We want to keep her in for monitoring so until then you can visit any time. Hope you have a nice day,” the doctor said expressing his happiness for us. You could tell that he felt good being able to deliver good news.

“Thank you,” said Vanessa.

The doctor left the room leaving me and Vanessa to come to terms with what he had told us. “Baby now we're a proper family. There's nothing holding us back; nothing in the way. It's just us three,” Vanessa said quietly. I hugged her firmly and let my arm rest on her shoulder. I couldn't find words to explain the emotions I was feeling right now so I said nothing at all.

***

The day came when we were allowed to pick Shakira up from the hospital and I was feeling on top of the world. We arrived at the hospital and made our way to her room where she was laying in the bed, eyes wide open and happy to see us. She still looked frail but better than before. As long as she was healthy that was all that mattered to me.

I got her ready and held her in my arms, “You're feeling much better I see,” I said, playing with her fingers. She smiled back then slowly drifted off to sleep.

When we got back to the house I put her upstairs and came back down to talk to Vanessa.

“We've been through so much lately and we're still strong. God must have blessed me to have found you and have our beautiful daughter,” I said confiding in her. The past few months had been hectic but finding out that Shakira was mine all this time had made me feel positive. I felt like I could take on anything.

“I know honey. I'm so happy for us. Maybe now you would feel better about being with me,” she said bluntly.

“I already feel good about being with you. Fair enough we have our fair share of ups and downs but through all the madness that's been going on look at all the good that's come out of it,” I said, assuring her that I was here to stay.

“If you're happy, I'm happy. What are you up to today then?” she asked, lying down on my lap.

“I'm going to start going to the studio regularly now so I can finish this album. Hopefully we'll be able to move out soon,” I replied.

“Yeah I agree. But for the time being don't worry about moving away, focus on your music. We're fine here for now,” she said, indirectly easing my burdens. I was so eager to move away so I could provide a better life for the girls but if she felt comfortable then I guess there was no rush. I stood up and knelt down. “What are you doing?” Vanessa asked.

“I've been thinking and I'm pretty sure now that you're the one for me so Vanessa will you marry me?” I asked, hoping the second proposal would end better than the first. “Yes. Yes Jayden, I'll marry you,” she replied elatedly.

I pulled out a box with her new rock in it and placed it on her finger. As it gleamed she pulled me to my feet and kissed me sensationally.

“I love you so much,” she said passionately.

“I know you do and I love you too. I realised if we can get through what we just went through, we can get through anything. Our lives are united from today onwards,” I replied securely.

I wanted to provide protection and security for them both. It was my duty as a man; my duty as a father. With the evening ending on a high, we headed upstairs and spent the rest of the night messing around in bed. I watched as Vanessa slowly fell asleep, and soon after, I followed.

Waking up to see my fiancé laying next to me made me feel proud. The second time proposing felt better than the first and ended how it was meant to the first time round. Maybe because this time it actually felt right. I thought about it properly and it wasn't just a way of getting her to stay with me. I got up to get ready and hit the studio. I had a couple more songs to record before my album was complete so I wanted to get them done as soon as possible. I left Vanessa and Shakira sleeping whilst I got dressed and went downstairs to watch a bit of TV before I left. There wasn't much to watch so I left it on a channel that was talking about weddings. Seeing how Vanessa and I were going to get married now, I thought I should have a bit of an insight on the subject. Get to know what I think would look good from what wouldn't.

“Weddings are meant to be the most memorable time of your life. Making that sacred commitment to the one you love and want to share the rest of your life with. In today's show we will be talking about the right colours that will suit a person and also the dream outfits that will make your day unforgettable,” emphasised the presenter.

I already had an outfit in mind for myself. I wanted to wear a white suit with a satin green handkerchief. It wasn't too much but it wasn't common. I also wanted that to be the theme as well but I doubt Vanessa would have agreed. She loved her traditional colours whereas I was a bit more experimental. The lady on the TV began to go through dresses that she believed the bride would look stunning in. There was one that had no straps and in my mind I couldn't see how it would stay up, but I guess that's in the female's department to worry about. A white silk dress came up and I knew it was the one. The way it would flow over her curves would turn heads all day and that's exactly what I wanted. I wanted people to see that this beautiful lady was going to be mine for the rest of my life. After a while I really started to get into what they were talking about, so much that I lost track of time and was late meeting my agent at the studio again. He was probably getting sick and tired of me now but who cares? I was the one providing the entertainment and if I weren't feeling 100%, the entertainment wouldn't be 100%. I turned off the TV and grabbed my car keys.

As I drove out of the blocks I saw two boys selling white on the frontline. It wasn't hard to figure out what they were doing. You could tell by their body language; body language I could relate to. It just made me think:
that's two more bodies lying cold in the gutter of the ghetto.
At the ages they appeared to be it seemed like they had already chosen their path, but who was I to say it was the wrong one? It wasn't long ago I was doing the same things day in day out to get by myself. When I finally got to the studio the sound of cursing filled my ears. It was like coming home late to my wife already.

“Where have you been? This album isn't going to wait forever so get a move on,” moaned my agent.

“Okay, I'm ready. Let's do this,” I replied, rapidly avoiding an argument. I got in the booth and he dropped a beat for me. The rhythm ran through my bones as I rapped to the sound, reading from my notes. Thinking about the two boys I saw when I was driving here made me feel the music even more as they were the target group I wanted to influence with my work. I believe that everyone has a talent even if It's unknown to them, and when It's brought to light and had time and effort invested into it they could become whatever they wanted to become.

As time went by I completed the last of my songs and my album was finished. I sat down with my agent for a lengthy playback of the whole set to see if I liked it.

“I'm feeling it, really feeling it,” I said nodding my head to the sounds. I knew that this was going to be just the thing I needed to put me on that higher platform. Especially with the tracks that featured Vanessa, they were impressive; adding that femininity for the ladies. After we listened to all the tracks and agreed that it was exactly the way we wanted it, I got ready to leave. It had been a long but productive day and I was happy with the progress I was making.

Outside it was dark and walking to where I parked my car was a mission in itself. As I emerged into the alleyway I remembered the exact spot where Myah had been crying out for my help and I had abandoned her. I felt a little remorse now but it was over so there was no point beating myself up about it. When I got to my car I felt a tense gut instinct that it wasn't the way I had left it. I walked around and saw, “This car is nice. Too bad I had to spoil it!” was scratched out deep into the paintwork.

“Argh” I yelled out, fuming from every pore. I go to record some tracks for a couple hours to come back and see that someone's vandalised my car. Well not just any someone, I knew who it was. I was going to kill him one day. If this carried on any longer I was going to kill Jamal. That's all that ran through my head in my depth of anger, but stepping back into reality I reminded myself that I couldn't let him get the better of me anymore. I was going places and having any involvement with him was sure to put my opportunities in jeopardy.

When I got home I slammed the door, which made the whole house shake.

“Jay what's the matter man? You wanna mash up the door or something,” Vanessa said, casually folding clothes.

“He's doing it again; taunting me, Vanessa. He scratched up the car. Look at it. Come look at what he's done,” I said, pacing up and down heatedly. I took her outside and showed her the car.

“Oh for fuck's sake what is wrong with him? He's a grown man and He's acting so immature. Why can't he see that you're not interested? When did this happen? This isn't going to be cheap to re-paint you know,” Vanessa replied, firing questions from all angles.

“After I came out the studio something wasn't right. I knew there was something wrong so I walked around the car and saw it,” I said, reliving the intense emotion I felt upon discovering what he had done. Jamal loved this; loved to stick the knife in when I was at the peak of my happiness. It had been so long after my mum's death and he still hadn't given up. Maurice was gone and he was still trying to bring me down too. “Don't worry about it, I'll sort it out tomorrow,” I said, storming back inside. “It's taking the piss now, Vanessa. I can't express how mad I am,” I added.

“I know, Jay. I know but calm down. This is the reaction that he wants and considering his state of mind He's probably watching you stress from some hidden corner,” she said, holding me against her chest.

When was this going to be over? When was I going to be able to walk down the road without fear of something happening to me or my family? If I didn't move my life from these ends, these ends were bound to take my life; first mentally, then physically.

***

The next day fury was still burning in my chest. The car I had bought was ruined and would cost an arm and a leg to deal with. That wasn't even what bothered me: it was the fact that Jamal kept going out of his way to impair my life, no matter how hard I tried to put the past behind me. I didn't want Vanessa to share the same heartache I felt everyday so I tried to act normal around her.

“You okay?” she asked subtly.

“Yeah I'm good. I just wish we could move now you know. Fair enough living in this house is fine but Jamal is making things difficult for me, real difficult,” I said releasing a huge sigh.

“Yeah I know but we just have to wait until the time comes. In the mean time, why don't we take our mind off things with a little wedding shopping? I have so many ideas in mind I just can't wait for the big day. It's finally a step forward for us without taking two steps back,” she smiled dotingly.

I was up for anything that would take my mind off all that was going on so we got ourselves ready and made our way to the shopping centre. I covered the scratches on the car until I could renew the body paint later. The thought of driving around in public with that on the side made me feel even more annoyed. Vanessa didn't want to look for her wedding dress when she was with me; she said it was bad luck but to be honest I really wasn't bothered. I was going to see it anyway so I didn't get what all the fuss was about. Woman always made small things seem bigger than they actually were, in my view. We started out with planning the decorations for the church and the hall.

“We don't even have a venue yet. How are we meant to know what it's going to look like?” I asked, puzzled by her enthusiasm.

“Well we can pick what colours we like and go from there. I want things to be perfect and if that means starting arrangements early then that's what I'll do,” she replied. I let her have her own way to keep things smooth. We went into a shop that sold flowers. I wasn't really a fan of flowers because I thought they stank, but if it made Vanessa happy I didn't mind. I just didn't understand how they could be so pretty but smell so nasty. Vanessa held up some white roses in my view.

“These are beautiful. What do you think Jay?” she asked. My mind was elsewhere at first so I said yeah but when I looked again I thought they were a bit plain.

“That's depressing Vanessa. Plus your one to go for bright colours, white is too bland” I expressed. From the expression on my face she put them down and moved on. I wasn't really in the mood to plan a wedding. I followed; giving my opinion on what she picked up and smiling as she made her purchases. As we were leaving the store I saw some white and green carnations that looked striking. I showed Vanessa and to my surprise she liked them as well. My mum's favourite flowers were carnations. I remember every Mother's Day I got her a card and a big bunch of red ones with the money I earned from selling green.

“I really like these. How about making the colour scheme of the wedding white and green? I think that they will go well together,” she said, as if she read my mind.

“Yeah I was thinking the same thing earlier. We have to come back here after we set a date and have a venue for the service and the reception though, because there's no point buying them now,” I replied dazzled, by the way we had so much in common.

“Obviously I know that silly!” she said sarcastically as we walked out of the shop. We walked around for a bit longer before we came to a decoration shop. In the window there were some cards hung up. “Those would be nice for the invitations don't you think? It would go nice with the carnations because of the green border,” explained Vanessa, trying to link everything together.

What she was saying went in one ear and out the other. I was so agitated. Even when I tried to put the vandalism behind me eventually my blood would boil over again. “Vanessa I'm really not in the mood to do this now. Can we come back tomorrow?” I said, walking towards the car park. I couldn't pretend anymore. This was a day for both of us and I wanted to do this when I would actually invest 100% of my focus and efforts.

“Why? When do you expect to arrange everything? We are getting married in less than four months and we have nothing planned. Are you really going to let this minor setback affect us?” she said defensively.

“What do you mean? You don't seem to understand the effect this guy has had on my life and all you want to do is think about weddings. I don't see why we had to do this today. There's always next week or the week after but you're in such a rush you forget that I'm the one that paid for the car so obviously I'm going to be vexed,” I said blowing up.

“You know what? Fine, let's just go then. If you think I'm neglecting your emotions I won't talk about this stinking wedding anymore” she replied storming ahead. I couldn't be bothered to argue with her and entertain people in the shopping centre so I just walked off back to the car.

When we got outside it was raining heavily, which dampened my mood further. On the way back home I said nothing, knowing it would just escalate into an argument and I weren't on it. The drive seemed so long when my thoughts were wondering. As I pulled up in front of the house Vanessa took Shakira out and went inside without saying a word. To get away from all the tension I sat in the car and listened to my new album. It made me feel so relaxed knowing that I had created it. I had something in this big world that was my own and would only ever be my own. And I didn't just create it for the money; I did it for a good cause. To reassure people that they don't have to live the life I did before they make a change. The chances I had been given in life had already shown me that if I didn't change I was going to end up in the ditch I had struggled to come out of. After a while I went inside and called Vanessa to sit with me. I felt like I owed her an apology for putting my burden on her when she was meant to be happy at this moment in time.

“Listen I'm sorry. I'm stressing over this Jamal thing and I had no right to take it out on you. It's exhausting looking over my shoulder every time we go out; living in fear for my girls,” I explained profoundly. I gave her a little smile and she hugged me.

“It's okay. I can't imagine how you're feeling but I'm sorry too for getting carried away with this wedding stuff. We're meant to share the happiness together and if you aren't happy then we shouldn't be doing it until you are,” she replied affectionately. She always knew how to make me feel better; providing the guidance and motivation I need when I feel like I've hit rock bottom. I kissed her on her forehead and turned on the TV for Shakira. Feeling content that I'd made up with my girl I felt it was time to get some shut-eye. I headed upstairs and enclosed myself in my room.

***

Today was the day my album was going to be released. I knew it was going to be a while before the money came in at a steady pace but I didn't mind. It was out there. I wanted people to relate to my music; feel the same shivers I feel when a good song comes on. I thought I would go down to the studio today and think of my next step. If I wanted to move I couldn't do one album and expect the rest of the money to fall out the sky. I wanted to live the life of luxury where neither I nor my family would have to want for anything. Vanessa said she was feeling low today so I left her and Shakira to have some alone time with some of her girls. Some mother daughter bonding you might call it, but with a few friends in the background. I drove down to the studio and parked all the way up the next road. I knew better than to park my car where I did before. I'd got a fresh re-paint and was feeling too good to have my mood ruined today. That message had annoyed me every time I went to use the car. I still couldn't understand how he found out where I was at that specific time. It was too creepy to think that he'd been watching my every move.