Taming Lo: A You and I Novel (21 page)

“
Fuck.” I
try to refrain from throwing another punch.

“
Dax?” I
cringe at the sound of Tanya's voice as she steps into the open
doorway. “Are you okay?”

“
Fine.” I
storm past her back into my apartment. “Get your shit and get
out. I am not in the mood.” I say, tossing her purse at her as
I pass by the breakfast bar.

I hear it hit the floor and her sigh of frustration as
she picks it up, but I don't care enough to look back at her. I know
she doesn't deserve for me to treat her so poorly but right now, I
can't think of anyone except the one person that just walked out of
my life, probably for good.

I knew better than to bring Tanya here. Too much fucking
liquor partnered by an enormous weight of dread over my situation
with Lo, has caused me to act in ways I never thought I would again.
I'm lashing out, just like I did with Christy. Desperately searching
for something or someone to take away the pain, even if just for a
little bit.

“
I said GO!”
I scream, turning to find a wide eyed Tanya frozen in the foyer of my
apartment. “NOW!” My voice bellows from my chest causing
her to immediately scurry for the door.

The moment it latches closed behind her, I pick up the
closest thing I can find, which happens to be an empty bottle of
whiskey, and launch it across my apartment. It hits the far wall with
a loud shatter and glass goes flying everywhere. Picking up an empty
beer bottle, I wing it across the apartment next, followed by two
glasses from the sink and a plastic bowl which only makes it about
halfway across the room before it flutters to the floor.

****

“
Any news?”
I immediately ask the moment Bentley appears in the doorway of my
office.

“
She taking an
open leave.” He pulls the door closed and slides into one of
the leather seats on the other side of the desk from where I am
sitting.

“
Meaning?”

“
Meaning she may
be back next week, the week after, a month, a year. Hell, she may
never come back.” He shrugs. “I gotta tell you man, you
really fucked up with her.” He says, clearly seeing that I
already know that much. “What were you thinking having that
woman in your apartment just days after telling another woman that
you loved her?” He questions, studying me curiously.

“
Fuck I don't
know. I was thinking, that the woman I love had just told me she
didn't want me and kicked me out of her apartment. Then she proceeded
to avoid me for nearly a week. I had way too much to drink and a
woman who was more than willing to be a distraction. What the fuck
was I supposed to do?” I run my hands through my hair in
frustration.

“
Give Lauren
some time maybe.” Bentley says, like it should have been so
easy.

“
I never planned
to fuck Tanya, that's not why she was there. I mean, it crossed my
mind of course, but I really don't think I could have done it. I just
didn't want to go back to an empty apartment by myself.” I
admit. “Do you have any idea what it is like to have the only
woman you want, be the only one that doesn't want you?” I bite,
knowing that women have always dropped at his feet.

“
As a matter of
fact, I do. Anna and Lauren have a lot in common in that regard.”
He laughs lightly, clearly reminiscing on a past memory. “Look.”
He says, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. “I
know what you're going through. I do. But you either need to find a
way to make this right or let it go. You're miserable. She's
miserable. And neither one of you is going to be able to move forward
if you can't let each other go.”

“
How do you know
she's miserable?” I question, the smallest glimmer of hope
finding its way back in. Not that I want her to be unhappy, but if
she is, maybe that means there is still a chance.

“
Because she is
one of my Anna's best friends.” He says with no other
explanation. “Listen, you know I've got your back, whatever you
decide. But for everyone's sake, you need to figure it out.” He
leans back in the chair, stretching his legs in front of himself.

“
There's nothing
to figure out. She hates me. I've tried calling. I have been to her
apartment several times, she never answers her door. At this point, I
feel like a fucking stalker. There's nothing more I can do.”

“
What if I told
you that I could arrange a way for you to see her?” He asks,
crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“
I would say
when and where?” I answer without hesitation.

“
We're having a
small get together for family and friends Saturday night. Now that
Anna and Luke are home and settled, she wanted to have everyone over.
It's going to be pretty low key. Catered finger foods and wine.
Probably only about twenty people in attendance.”

“
And why am I
just now finding out about this?” I ask, picking up on the fact
that this was not something he planned on inviting me to.

“
Anna made me
promise not to invite you.” He says, holding his hands up to
stop me from interrupting. “She knew Lauren wouldn't come if
you were going to be there.”

“
So then why
tell me now?” I ask.

“
Because I have
been in your shoes. And, because I really hope you two can work your
shit out already.” He laughs. “Come to the house around
seven. The party should be in full swing by then.” He says,
pushing to a stand.

“
Thanks man.”
I say, watching him cross the small space of the office.

“
Just don't fuck
it up this time.” He laughs, pulling open the door.

Chapter
Thirty-One

Lo

“
So you're sure
you can be here early enough?” Lilly asks me for the tenth time
since I called her fifteen minutes ago.

“
Lilly.” I
laugh. “I promise. I will be there with plenty of time to
spare.”

“
Don't forget,
we are getting our hair done at one. You need to meet me at the
church.....”

“
By ten in the
morning, I know.” I laugh, shaking my head at my reflection in
the mirror as I line my lips with a light layer of clear lip gloss.

“
I'm just....
I'm so happy you're coming.” I can hear the emotion thick in
her voice.

“
Me too. I'm
sorry it took so much convincing and that you had to drive all the
way out here twice.” I say, still feeling a large amount of
guilt for what I have put Lilly through the last few weeks.

“
It was worth
it.” She laughs. “Mom and Dad are so excited to see you.
And Aunt Jill is absolutely beside herself. She thought she wouldn't
live to see the day you came home.” Lilly rambles into the
phone excitedly.

“
Oh Aunt Jill.”
I laugh. “What is she now, eighty?” I ask, knowing that
my favorite great aunt is definitely getting up there in age.

“
Eighty two.”
Lilly corrects me. “And as feisty as ever.” She promises.

“
I would expect
nothing less.” I say, checking the clock behind me. “Lills
I gotta go. I have to be at Anna's in less than thirty minutes.”
I say, seeing it is already after six.

“
Okay. Okay.
Give that baby kisses for me and I will see you next Saturday.”
She squeals into the phone.

“
Don't act like
you won't call me twenty times between now and then.” I laugh,
knowing how anal Lilly is.

She will want to make sure I don't forget anything and
that I know exactly where I am supposed to be and what time I am
supposed to be there. Even though she has already told me a hundred
times by now, she will still feel the need to remind me over and over
again.

“
Guilty.”
She agrees, laughing lightly. “Okay go. Have fun at your party.
I love you.” She sings.

“
Love you too.”
I say, quickly ending the call and dropping my cell on top of my
dresser.

I am so happy that I get to be with Lilly on her big day
but I can't deny the huge amount of dread I feel towards my impending
trip home. When I called Lilly the night I opened up to Dax about my
past, I think that's the first time I ever let her really see how
much the past was still haunting me. Being the amazing sister she is,
she listened to me cry for hours and even offered to drive all the
way here just to be with me.

It was right then and there that I decided, there was no
way I was going to miss her wedding. Lilly has always put me first,
always. It's about time I do the same for her. Though, I can't deny
how much I wish Dax would be there to help me through it.

Immediately the image of him holding my hand, his hazel
eyes looking into mine as he spins me across the dance floor, my
entire family watching, seeing how happy I am, dances through my
mind. Shaking off the thought, I have to take a deep breath to stop
the well of tears I can feel threatening to spill over the surface.

Turning, I take a long look at my reflection in the
mirror. My blonde waves are tied in a loose side pony and I have kept
my makeup light and natural, giving my eyes just enough definition
with some dark liner and black mascara that the blue color pops. No
matter how hard I try to hide behind my appearance though, I can
still see the sadness in my eyes that I have been desperately trying
to bury.

Shaking off the direction my thoughts are going, I tug
at the fitted bust of my black and white empire style dress, hoping I
don't spend the entire night trying to keep it in place. I love this
dress. It's fancy enough to wear on a night out and yet still casual
enough to work perfectly for a dinner party. Slipping on my black
heels, I take one last look at myself in the mirror before turning
and walking away from the sad girl looking back at me.

Chapter
Thirty-Two

Dax

I arrive at Bentley's just after seven to find their
large house crawling with at least forty people. Small get together
my ass. Of course, I shouldn't be surprised. I'm sure Rebecca,
Bentley's mom, insisted on inviting every distant relative she could
track down, just so she could have the opportunity to show off her
new grandson to anyone who would care enough to come.

Ethan nods in my direction when he spots me crossing the
foyer towards the main dining area where a large number of the guests
seem to be gathered around. Peeking around the corner, I immediately
see about ten older women all grouped around Anna and her new son. I
scan the room quickly, making sure that Lo isn't in here, before
turning and heading in the opposite direction, not wanting to be
spotted by Anna before I have a chance to find Lo.

Bentley and Anna's house is incredible. High cathedral
ceilings, a spiral staircase that leads up to a second floor loft
that overlooks a good portion of the first floor, two dining rooms,
three living spaces and a kitchen bigger than my entire apartment. I
can only imagine what the second floor is like. I have yet to venture
up there, having no real reason to ever leave the first floor the
handful of times I have been here.

I make my way from room to room scouring every inch as I
go. When I stop in the kitchen to grab a beer, I finally stumble upon
Bentley who appears to be desperately trying to escape the grips of
one of his elderly relatives.

“
Ah Dax. There
you are.” He gives me a look that says
save
me
before
turning back to the woman in front of him. “Rosie will you
please excuse me? I have some quick business to discuss with Dax
here.” He says, nodding in my direction.

“
Work.
Work. Work.” She swipes her hand through the air. “One of
these days your going to wake up and wonder where your life has gone,
working all the time like you do.” She shakes her head and
turns, grabbing a glass of wine from the kitchen island before
sauntering off.

“
Let's
step out back.” Bentley says, grabbing a beer of his own.

I nod, following him out onto the back deck that has the
most incredible wooded view, stretching out as far as the eye can
see. Taking a long drink of my beer, I collapse down on the stone
steps that lead out into the back yard, resting my elbows on the tops
of my legs.

“
Thank
you for saving me back there.” Bentley says, dropping down
beside me.

“
No
problem.” I laugh. “I have a few relatives like her back
in Connecticut.” I tack on “Have you seen Lo around?”
I can't resist the urge to ask. It is, after all, why I am here to
begin with.

“
Yeah
she's around here somewhere. I'm taking it you haven't seen her.”
He says, taking a drink of his beer.