Taunt (4 page)

Feeling lucky, I
trudged up the stairs. Being away from home at night wasn’t doing
me any favours. If I could find a way to leave Daimhín’s workforce,
then I’d be right on it. The vampires outside could attack me any
night, but they didn’t. The anticipation kept me on
edge.

I caught his
scent a half-second before I noticed him. Carl rose when I
approached. With a bag at his feet and a solemn look on his face,
it seemed like he had been waiting there for a while.

“
Carl?
What’s wrong?”

His eyes were
red-rimmed and unhappy. I felt sick, expecting the worst. It hadn’t
been that long ago when Carl was compelled to follow me around,
going so far as to wait outside my door all night. This was all too
familiar.

“
I’m
sorry, Ava, but can I stay with you for a few days?”

“
Spill,” I said, and took a sip of coffee.

Carl stared at
his cup and acted like he hadn’t heard me. We sat in my living room
with me waiting for him to tell me what was going on. He definitely
wasn’t enthralled, but I couldn’t help feeling nervous. I sniffed
the air a little too much. A little too appreciatively.

“
This
is embarrassing,” he said, avoiding my eyes. “You spent all that
time trying to get me out of here, and I come running back first
chance I get.”

“
Carl,
why
are
you here?”

He looked at me
with pleading eyes. “Don’t get mad. Look, before I… I have to
explain something, confess something, actually.”

I felt a chill
and shivered; he looked so worried, it couldn’t be good.

He ran his
fingers through his hair, cleared his throat, and gathered himself
together. “Okay, here’s the thing. When everything was going on,
you know, me being bound to you and all, I think I… well, I know I
had these moments of clarity.”

“
What
do you mean?”
Don’t say it.

“
I
think maybe, sometimes, I could probably have… controlled myself a
little better. Around you, I mean. A couple of times, I think I
knew what I was doing and didn’t try to stop it. There were times
when I fought against the magic to get my own way. I made it harder
for you. On purpose.”

I bit my lip. It
wasn’t anything I hadn’t suspected, but hearing him say it made me
angry. I had gone through hell, I didn’t want him to say he could
have prevented it.

“
Not
the really bad stuff,” he added hurriedly when he saw my
expression. “I mean things like when you would tell me to leave, I
could have done it.”

“
So
why didn’t you?”

“
I
didn’t want to go home. You have to understand, Ava. I didn’t plan
any of this. None of my life, really. Nothing is how I expected it
to be, and I know I’ll never do anything worth mentioning. I’m an
accountant in my girlfriend’s—sorry, my
fiancée’s
—father’s
business. I’ve been working there for years, but I’m still not any
good at it. I don’t even care. I mean, I never wanted to be an
accountant; he just gave me an easy option, so I took
it.”

I shrugged. “It’s
just a job, Carl. You can still do other things.”

“
It’s
not just that,” he said, his voice getting louder. “I’m getting
married to someone I’m not even sure I’m attracted to. I’m just
plodding along, letting everyone else take care of the big
decisions. And I’m bored. Of everything. This isn’t how it was
supposed to be.”

He took a sip of
his coffee, but still refused to look at me. I had no idea what to
say. Where did I start?

“
Anyway, I went on a lad’s night out until Maria rang me to
come home for some work emergency. What kind of accounting
emergency can’t wait until Monday? You know?”

He gazed up at
me, looking like a little boy who needs to be reassured. Resisting
the urge to slap some sense into him, I gave a quick nod, and he
carried on, “So I leave, start walking home while I look out for a
taxi, and this guy attacks me. He’s crazy strong, and I’m thinking,
‘Wow!’ Not, ‘this is weird.’ Not, ‘I’m scared.’ But, ‘Wow.’” He
shook his head, looking surprised by the memory.

“
You
looked scared,” I said, remembering his face in the alleyway when
Arthur had him pinned against the wall.

“
It
was
scary. But mostly? It was exciting. Then you came along,
and everything happened. A lot of it’s a blur until the bond broke,
but then I stuck around and, Ava, kidnapping that vampire was
probably the most exciting thing I’ve ever done in my life. I keep
remembering how alive I felt.” With every word, he became more
animated.

“
Almost dying made you feel alive?” I saw the look in his eyes
and knew he believed it to be true, but I couldn’t understand
it.

“
Yeah.
Alive and excited and really… doing something for a change. No more
plodding. But then I got home, and Maria and her Dad kept nagging
me. My parents joined in. All I could think about was what I know,
that vampires are real. If I told any of them, they wouldn’t
believe me for a second. It’s like a really cool secret, but all I
want to do is talk about it.”

“
Is
that why you’re here? To talk?” That would be easy.

His face flushed
red. “Not exactly. I sort of walked out on my job. And Maria.
Everyone’s pretty pissed at me.”

I groaned. “Why
on earth did you do something like that?”

“
I
couldn’t handle how dead it made me feel. I’m not meant for that
life, Ava; I’m not. When I was bound to you, I loved the
excitement. That’s why I didn’t leave, even when I could have. I
know it sounds crazy, but I had a taste of something amazing, and I
can’t face going back. I need to change things. Can I stay for a
bit? Just until I figure things out?”

“
I
figured you had a death wish, but this is just stupid,” I said, but
I couldn’t bear to dash the hopeful look in his eyes. Besides, it
might be nice having some company again. I had to admit that
breaking our bond had made me suffer; having him around eased the
empty feeling a little. Perhaps he still felt the residual effects
of the bond. The least I could do was give him some time to see if
it wore off. “Maybe a few days then.”

He tried to hug
me, but I pushed him away and looked at him sternly. “If I start
craving your blood again, you have to leave straight away.
Okay?”

He nodded,
looking so confident I doubted he had even considered what he would
do if I said no.

“
You’re going to have to sort yourself out, though. No more
stupid shit. You have to go home sometime, and surely you realise
that being in danger isn’t exactly a good route to happiness.” As
if I knew anything about it.

“
Okay,” he said, but I had a feeling he wasn’t listening. I
didn’t want to push it; I owed him for accidentally bonding him to
me and nearly getting him killed.

“
Wait,
you might not want to stay here. It’s not exactly safe right now,”
I warned, remembering my night-time stalkers.

Carl grinned.
“What, from you?”

I shook my head
and tried to ignore the sick feeling in my gut. “For a few nights
now, I’ve noticed some vampires hanging around outside.”

“
Outside?”

“
Yeah,
look.” I led him to the window and pointed out the pair of the
vampires keeping watch.

“
Who
are they?” he asked.

I stared out at
them; I had no idea, and that scared me. “I’m not sure. Daimhín’s
saying they aren’t any of her doing.”

“
You
could always ask Peter or Eddie if they know anything,” he
said.

I ignored that.
“They haven’t done anything yet. They just wait, and stare, and act
creepy in general.”

“
Not
exactly stealthy.” Carl frowned at the duo.

“
Which
might be the point.”

Carl glanced at
me. “Think someone’s keeping an eye on you or trying to intimidate
you?”

I exhaled loudly.
“Does it matter? Point is, be careful after dark.”

“
I
will, don’t worry.” He smiled, bouncing back as always. “So, what
now? Want to watch something with me?”

“
I
have work to do,” I told him. “Make yourself at home.” I paused
before I left the room. “Hey, Carl. You heard much from
Peter?”

“
A
little, why?”

I shrugged. “No
matter.” So, it was just me then.

I hid in my room
and tried to get some work done, but I couldn’t get my head
straight. I pushed the laptop away in agitation. Peter had been in
contact with Carl. Not me.

I rang his
mobile, unsurprised when he didn’t answer. I left a message for him
to ring me back, this time because I needed his advice on Daimhín,
Gabe, and the stalker vampires, or at least that’s what I told
myself. Giving up any pretence of working, I gave Carl a blanket
and went to bed.

Tossing and
turning, it took me hours to fall asleep. Yet again, I dreamt of
Maximus. This time I was back in his torture chamber, screaming,
watching my blood paint the walls. He kept laughing as he sliced my
skin with his nails. Nobody came, I was on my own. Then Maximus
grabbed me and whispered my name over and over. I struggled
helplessly until the walls weren’t red anymore, and I realised it
was Carl who held me.

I tried to push
him away, but he wrapped his arms around me until I stopped gasping
for air. Whispering to me, he stroked my hair, but the rapid
thudding of my heart drowned out his words. I counted until the
room stopped closing in, and I could breathe easier. I realised I’d
been counting aloud and hid my face in my hands,
mortified.

“
Ava,
look at me. Does that happen often?”

“
Not
really,” I said, my throat aching with each word.

“
You
were screaming your head off. I thought you were never going to
stop.”

“
I’m
sorry.” My voice was dull and low with shame that he had seen me at
my weakest.

“
There’s nothing to be sorry about, I’m worried for you. Talk
to me, what’s going on?”

I saw how earnest
his eyes were and knew he wouldn’t judge me, but I wanted to
contain everything I felt, to push it down where I wouldn’t have to
deal with it.

“
Nothing,” I said.

“
Nothing. Look at you! You’re shaking.”

I shook my head
and moved further away, suddenly aware of how close we were
sitting. His eyes only held concern; since we had broken the bond,
he treated me like a sister.

“
I’m
fine,” I repeated, hiding my trembling hands behind me.

“
You’re obviously not fine. What’s happening?” His voice
soothed, broke down that defensive streak, made me feel like maybe
it would be okay if I talked about it.

I wrapped my arms
around my waist, mentally counting his heartbeat this time. “It’s
just… I can’t let it go. I thought once the job was done, that’d be
it, I’d be fine. But he’s in my dreams every night. Maximus. It
feels so real, and I can’t escape. I can’t look after myself; I
just lie there and wait for someone to rescue me. But no one ever
does.”

I shook my head,
not entirely sure what I was trying to say. I had never vocalised
my fears before. “I thought it was over, but they’re still out
there, waiting for me. Every single night. And I can’t stop
them.”

“
You’ve gotten the better of lots of vampires, Ava. You’ve
nothing to be scared about,” he said.

A shudder ran
through my body. They always won in the end. “You don’t get it,” I
said. “I’m not as strong as them, and I’m outnumbered. It’s like, I
have to be like them just to survive. I have to drink blood to take
care of myself, to be strong enough to defend myself, but that
makes me the same as them. To scare off the monster under the bed,
I have to
be
the monster under the bed. That’s sick,
right?”

I saw his pity
again. I hated it. He came toward me, but I held out my hands,
ready to push him away. He backed off. “We’ll help you. Me, Peter,
everyone.”

“
Peter? He won’t even
talk
to me. I saw him, and he
totally avoided me. He won’t answer his phone either. I’m not even
going to get into the crap with Eddie, Daimhín, and my grandmother.
I can’t trust
anyone
.”

“
You
can trust me,” Carl said, and I could tell he believed it. “And
Nancy was beside herself when Maximus had you. I know Peter’s tough
to read sometimes, but he cares. I’m sure he does. Even Eddie, why
would they beg Daimhín for help if they didn’t?”

I gave him a wry
smile. “To get me working for her. All part of their master plan.”
I felt better, angry rather than scared. I liked angry me best.
Carl looked confused, so I shook my head. “Never mind, I’m tired.
Thanks and all, but I need some sleep.”

He hesitated, but
I turned my back to him, and he left me alone.

***

Two days later,
Peter still hadn’t called, so I decided I was done with him, no
more trying. The more I thought about it, the more frustrated I
became, and the more Carl seemed to get in my way. The flat felt
tiny again, just like before, except this time, Carl was determined
to talk to me. About everything.