Teach Me (10 page)

Fifteen

I’m nearly late for Lucas’s fight and I’m anxious. I don’t want to miss it and I definitely don’t want anything to happen if I’m not there. The guys he’s up against is about his size, but he looks mean. Still, at least there looks to be a fair fight.

It starts and Lucas is ready out of the gate. He pounds his opponent and the other guy is a mess. He’s barely standing, with blood pooling at his feet, and I think he’s out in less than a minute. But then he rises, spits out loose tooth, and goes for Lucas. They show no mercy and I cringe every time Lucas gets hit. Still, this is so much better than the fight with Mike Ellis
and
it’s worth a ton of money, so I am feeling pretty good.

Everything is falling into place and Lucas looks like he’s going to beat the guy in record time. And then the world falls apart. Because the guy reaches down and pulls out a switchblade. He runs the razor across Lucas’s throat and Lucas falls to the ground, blood pouring from his neck wound.
I see it, but it doesn’t even seem real. It’s like watching something on TV and the whole audience must feel the same way because no one moves for a second. Then suddenly there is a roar. The money is given to the other guy and Lucas is left bleeding, dying. I run to him and he looks up at me. He can’t talk and I’m screaming.

“Someone call an ambulance! Please!”

At some point, Lucas is lifted to a stretcher and brought to a hospital. Somehow, I end up there, but I don’t even remember it. They’re doing surgery on him, but everyone keeps saying it’s nearly impossible that he survives. I drown out the voices, because it’s not impossible. Of course it isn’t. Minutes and hours tick by and I wait, but no one acknowledges me.

Lucas is an asshole at times and he does stupid shit and I can’t control him, but I realize suddenly that I love him. I don’t know why or how, but I do. Because if he doesn’t make it, I don’t know what I will do. I need him to be okay. He has to be okay. I think of all the things we will never do, all the things he’ll never do. I wonder if I’m being blamed for letting him continue down this path, if I’m being punished for my night of regret with Mark. I would give up everything if Lucas would be okay, but time just keeps on ticking away.

Finally, near dawn, a doctor comes out to find his next of kin. He doesn’t have any, so I stand in. I don’t know how to explain our relationship so I just say I’m his girlfriend.

“Well, he lost a lot of blood. We managed to get him stitched up and he’s fairly stable for blood loss. However, he has to be really careful, because the wound is deep and needs time to heal. He’s going to be fed intravenously for a while, until the skin starts to scar over.”

I nod, trying to take it in, but all I really hear is that the doctor is talking about the future. As if Lucas is not dead.

“He’s not dead,” I say.

“No. However, there is something else.”

I nod again.

“He’s having a reaction to the sedatives. He tested positive for a lot of narcotics and we did our best to minimize reactions, but there were too many to avoid it altogether. The reaction he is having is rare and we had hoped it would not happen. However, there is a chance the mixing of the drugs could kill him, even though the wound was healed.”

I sink back into the waiting room chair. I should have stopped him. When he was hurting that night and I called Tim, I could have instead changed the course of Lucas’s life. I don’t know to
react and the doctor waits a minute, before telling me he will check on me in a bit and that when Lucas is ready for visitors, he will come get me.

Why didn’t I fight harder? Why did I let him continue to be so fucking self destructive? If I had fixed it, if I had made him quit, he probably would not have even been at the fight and even if he had, he would be safe. Now he is stable but could die any second. Where is the fucking justice in that?

I don’t call anyone and I don’t go to work. I don’t even call in. I just want Lucas to be okay. It’s after lunchtime before they tell me I can go see him. He’s barely conscious and covered in gauze. There are tubes everywhere and tears plummet from my face. How is this fair? Lucas may have made bad choices, but he’s not a bad person and this is so cruel.

He can’t smile at me, but he reaches for my hand. I hold his hand and talk to him even if he can’t respond.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” I tell him. “This is my fault. I should have tried harder. I should have reported Tim. I should have done something.”

He shakes his head, but I continue.

“They said the drugs are fucking with your system. Baby, I am so sorry. I love you. And I need you to pull through, so we can have a real chance. I realize how much I love you and I will do anything to make sure things are okay.”

He doesn’t make a sound but mouths the words, “I love you, too.”

The nurses come by and tell me I can stay, but that he’s going to administered something to help him sleep. I can’t watch and I kiss his forehead before leaving the room and then the hospital. I don’t feel like driving, so I just walk and walk and think about Lucas.

When I first met him in my freshman class, he was tiny. He was so shy, but on the first day of school, he shook my hand and thanked me for being his teacher. That whole year he was like that. He didn’t grow harder, although he slowly grew more silent. When Alea was taken from him, that’s when he fell apart and the Lucas I knew last year was not the same boy I had known years before. But somewhere, that boy is still inside of Lucas and I need to save him.

****

Lucas survives the night and then the next until suddenly two weeks have passed. When he’s ready to be discharged, I sign him out, taking over his care. He isn’t healed yet but most of what he needs can be handled at home. The best part about his hospital stay is that they managed to wean him off the drugs for the most part, minus the painkillers. I suppose if I have to make a concession, those will do for now.

I haven’t heard from Tim or Kade or anyone since Lucas was left to die. No one even cared that night and I’m just glad he can’t remember it. I’m still angry and now that Lucas is out of the woods, I make a quick detour on my way home on afternoon to report Tim to the police. I don’t know if they’ll do anything and, outside of where he lives, I have no means of proving that Tim runs the ring or sells drugs. I like to imagine he’s too stupid to cover his tracks effectively, but having done this without issue for so long, he probably isn’t. Still, I feel good and I am ready to lie beside Lucas when I get home. First, I have to run some errands and it’s past dark by the time I finish. I hate how long I have to be apart from him, but he’s mostly gotten function back so I know he will text if there is an issue.

He’s been sitting up more and he’s watching TV when I get back. He still struggles to speak, but he writes me notes. Sometimes they’re love notes and other times they’re just a list of things
we need. Every so often, though, he writes me a dirty one – and I can’t wait until he’s ready for sex again.

“Hi,” I say, dropping my bag on the table.

He nods and points to the TV with the remote. Turns out my tip helped and the breaking news report is that a fighting and drug ring has been busted.
Serves them right
, I figure. I’m sure at some point they will want to talk to Lucas, but I will just wait until that happens. And since he can barely speak, maybe it can wait.

We have a quiet night at home, which is the norm now, and I am just so happy he’s alive. We haven’t had sex, we can barely speak due to his injuries, and I am still stared at by every guy in school, but at least he’s alive. One blessing is enough for me at this point.

Sixteen

Six Months Later

“Can you come here?” Lucas calls out from the kitchen. School’s out for the summer and we are trying to remodel a little. He has full function of his voice and body back and we have been having a lot of fun rediscovering each other. It took nearly four months before he was ready for the same level of sex he was used to, but he’s definitely back at it now. I’ve been amazed because he still has the stamina despite not using any drugs. I’m one lucky woman.

He’s standing on a chair in the kitchen trying to change the overhead light. I take the pieces he’s removed and put them on the counter, while he tries to install the news ones. It’s so domestic and neither of us really knows what to do with that. I’m not really old enough to be thinking about remodels and Lucas is only a year out of high school. He’s going to be starting college classes part time in the fall, which makes me so proud. He was always a good student.

Tim was put in jail for a few years, although I’m sure eventually he will come looking for us. Kade was let off because even though he’s eighteen, as a high school student, they decided he could do probation. Lately, things have just been nice and pleasant. I admit I worry that something will go wrong, that it will all fall apart, but I try to push those thoughts away.

I still dance one night a week, and Lucas stays to watch over me. I don’t do private rooms anymore and Leo is okay with that. It’s a little extra money, which helps since Lucas could only find work part time for a landscaping company. I ran into Mark one night at the movies, which was awkward, but he had a girlfriend with  him. They seemed really happy and he pulled me aside to thank me, so I feel like I accomplished something at least.

Lucas finishes the light fixture and tells me to turn on the switch. I do and it works, which means we do two things right. He’s just getting down from the chair when I hear the buzzer.

“Are you expecting anyone?” I ask.

“Not that I know of.”

“Weird.” I buzz the person up, assuming it’s UPS or something, but when I open the door, there is a girl standing there. She’s tall and thin with long, stunning dark hair, and amazing eyes. I recognize her immediately.

“Alea?”

“Miss Lawlor?”

I didn’t have her in class but the school isn’t that big and she’s probably taken aback that she looked up her brother and her search led her here. Lucas crashes into me, not paying attention, but I feel his body tense when he sees Alea in the doorway.

“Alea,” he says.

She smiles wanly. “Can I come in?”

I nod and let her get by, shutting the door behind her. Lucas appears to be in shock so I go pour some lemonade, hoping we can make small talk over something to drink. When I come back, Lucas is still standing in the same spot and Alea is sitting on the couch.

“So,” I start.

“Should I ask?” Alea says.

“Your brother and I… Well, it’s complicated, but we’re together. It’s been working well. We had some ups and downs, but I think we’re happy.”

Lucas comes to join me and I guide him to an armchair, choosing to stand myself. He nods, still staring at his sister. It’s only been a couple years, but she’s grown up a lot and they were not
allowed to keep in touch. Lucas still hasn’t told me what happened to his parents, but I do know that Alea was his responsibility and he still blames himself for not knowing what she was getting herself into with hooking. I’ve tried to reassure him that he was sixteen and no one know what they’re doing at sixteen, but it’s never enough for him.

“I’m glad,” she says. “I’ve been looking for you for a while,” she tells Lucas.

“You have?”

“Yeah. The old place is gone. They said you sold it and it was demolished, but no one would tell me where you went. Everyone is so worried about privacy that I almost lost you for good.”

“How did you find me?” He asks.

“Google, of course. I finally found some possible addresses and this was the third. I just didn’t realize the apartment belonged to your teacher.”

I blush a little. It’s going to take probably forever before that’s normal for me, but I wouldn’t trade Lucas for anything.

“What are you doing with yourself?” Lucas asks.

“I’m going to upstate New York for college in September, Full scholarship.”

He nods, looking a little discouraged. I feel for him. Alea was the one who was on the wrong path and he couldn’t save her. Then, after he lost her, he screwed up his life and now she is right on track. Still, I can see that he’s happy for her and proud of her for getting herself back to where he wanted her to be. “So we don’t have a lot of time,” he says.

“It’s just for college. And there’s the internet. We have all the time in the world, Lucas.”

She looks at him and starts to cry. I can’t imagine what it must be like to lose a sibling, especially when you are all each other has. He goes to comfort her on the couch and I excuse
myself. They need time to reunite and I don’t need to be here. I have some reading to do and I tell them to let me know when they’re ready.

“We can all go out for dinner,” I suggest. They
half heartedly agree, but it’s obvious they want to talk, to catch up, to erase the last few years from memory.

I spend several hours in my room and when Lucas comes to get me, it’s grown dark. His eyes are red, the same way they were when I saw him that first night at the strip club, but this time it’s from raw emotion, not drugs.

“I can’t believe she’s here,” he says. “I’d given up on seeing her ever again.”

I take his hand. “Remember when we talked about this, about getting on track? It’s like it all happened for a reason.”

He nods. “I love you, Savannah.”

“I love you, too, baby.” And I do. So, so much.

****

Alea begins to spend a lot of time with us and it’s so nice to see Lucas part of the normalcy of living again. He’s still wild in the bedroom, but he’s starting to straighten out otherwise. He doesn’t tell Alea about the last few years and she doesn’t ask. She has enough of her own dark secrets and the fact is, they’re here together now and that’s a good thing.

We get back one evening from an incredibly normal afternoon of shopping and sightseeing in the city. Lucas and Alea are trying to make their lives normal, trying to be a family, and we come home after dropping her off and I forget for a moment that he and I are not married. It just feels like such an adult, married thing to do.

“I’m starting to think you’re really a middle aged man trapped in there,” I say. “You’ve gotten so boring. Such a homebody and family man now.”

“Did you call me boring?” He asks.

“You’re the one who’s wearing khakis, who found a coupon for parking, and made your sister wear a sweater over her sundress.”

He looks at me and, suddenly, the real Lucas is back. He undresses and chases me around my apartment until he catches me, tearing my clothes off. We hadn’t had to buy clothes in a while, so I try not to mourn my outfit. He growls as he looks at my naked body.

“I’ll show you boring. I’m gonna fuck you so hard you scream, slut,” he promises.

“I hope so.”

He throws me to the ground and joins me, lifting my legs high as he buries his face in my pussy. Our sex has never gotten dull, but this is the wildness I love about him. He licks along the opening, getting me wetter, and then rolls over onto his back.

“Ride me bitch,” he commands. “Ride me until I come all over you.”

I run my hand up his chest and kiss his earlobe and neck, stopping to suck on his nipples. I feel his cock trying to get inside of me and I hold off, teasing him.

“Baby, I need that pussy,” he begs.

“This one?” I ask and lower myself so just the edge of my wetness is resting against the head of his cock.

He grunts and grabs my hips, slamming me down onto him. I swear, I will never have enough of Lucas or his cock. He pushes hard into me and I ride him, meeting his aggression and need. He grips my ass as I fuck him and smiles up at me.

“Remember when I fucked you in your classroom?” He asks.

I do and damn, it was fucking hot. I just nod, afraid to break my rhythm with words.

“We should do that again this year when you go back. And I’m bringing that cutting board. You can punish me if I get
an answers wrong.”

The thought of bending him over my desk and spanking him, right in my classroom, is too much to fucking bear and I scream, coming all over him. He laughs at my desperation and the way I totally lose myself on his cock.

“Baby, you know I’ll never get tired of fucking you, right?” He asks.

I don’t have to say anything, because our bodies are telling each other just fine. His cock has given my pussy enough to satisfy me for years – and I thank God he came in to the private room that night. Maybe it’s fucked up, and maybe our relationship has been through Hell, but Lucas has taught me so much - about love, forgiveness, and need. And I love that we can both still teach each other so much more.