Tell It to the Trees (21 page)

“No. I don’t know. I won’t be able to manage.”

“Yes you will, Suman, you just need to set your mind to it. It’s not right. Not for you, not for those kids. Do you want them to end up like you?”

“No,” she whispered. She tucked the piece of paper inside her pocket. “But Varsha won’t come, she loves her father. I am not really her mother, you know, and how can I take Hemant away from his father? It is not right. No, I can’t do it. You must leave now. If Varsha comes down, she will be upset. She must not know. She will be so hurt.”

“Well then, you will have to leave her behind, nothing to be done about that. But you, and Hemant—think of him at least, Suman. You’ve got to leave.”

“Who’s leaving?” Varsha materialized near the kitchen door silently. I jumped then, in a kind of fear myself. How much did she hear, the little sneak? “What is she doing here? Mama, are you going somewhere?”

“No, I am,” I said. “I’m sick of this weather. I don’t know if I can take it anymore.” I smiled at her, ignored the ferocious scowl. The Aunty Anu business has faded right out of her system—the girl is back to being her nasty little self. “I hear you’re not well. Did you catch something at school?”

“Yes, you better leave, you might catch it too,” she said. “And since you are old, it might kill you.”

Brat! She went up to Suman, curved an arm possessively around her waist and dropped her head onto her shoulder. “Mama, I feel terrible,” she pouted, giving a sad little sniff. “I think I have a fever. Here, feel my head.”

Suman avoided looking at me and placed her palm on Varsha’s forehead. I caught the girl’s eye and got the feeling she had heard our entire conversation. It makes
me uneasy. I wonder what she will do with the knowledge—tell Vikram? So what if she does? He can’t touch me. But I think of what he could do to Suman and am worried. I know I must make one more attempt to persuade Suman to leave. If that doesn’t work, what do I do? If she won’t help herself, can anybody help her?

Varsha

A horrid day. I was sick with the flu and Suman was planning to go away. I heard her say so to Anu. She was going to take my brother with her but not me. She told Anu I’m not hers. But
she
is mine, and Hem too. He’s most definitely mine.
I
saw him first.

It was all Anu’s fault. She was the one influencing my stepmother. She was the one messing with my family. Suman is weak, she doesn’t know what she’s doing.

“Are you going somewhere, Mama?” I asked, holding her close. I am almost as tall as her. A nerve in her soft neck jumped against my cheek.

“No, no, where would I go without you and Hem?” she lied.

“I heard Anu and you talking, Mama,” I said. Again her pulse leaped against my cheek.

“She was talking about her story, that’s all,” Suman said. She unwrapped my arms from around her waist and moved away.

Liar liar lipstick, borne on a broomstick. I hoped the
broomstick broke and gave her a good poke, a hard, painful poke. I was mad at her. I
am
mad at her. I love her like she is really my mother, even though she is nowhere near as beautiful or as smart. But she’s going to take my brother and leave us like Mom did. I am madder than mad.

“Here, some hot tea with honey.” Suman gave me a steaming mug. Who will take care of me if she leaves? Who will stop Papa from beating the shit out of me? Who will wash my hair on Sunday mornings and make chocolate cake on my birthday? I cannot let her go.

She gave me a worried look and was about to say something when we both heard a funny noise.

“Did you hear that?” Suman asked. “Was that your grandmother?” She ran out of the kitchen, hurrying to Akka’s room with me behind her. Akka was slumped down in her chair, going
rrr-rrr-rrr
like an engine which won’t start up. Her mouth was twisted sideways.

“Oh no,” Suman cried. “Something is wrong with her.” We leaned over Akka, so old and beloved, and she stopped going
rrr-rrr
for a few seconds to mutter something. Her voice sounded like a rusty gate creaking open after a thousand years, and then she fell silent. Her dry breath rustled through her ancient lungs like dead leaves. Only the fingers of her left hand moved in a funny little dance. I started to cry even though I know that tears are a sign of weakness. But this was my beloved gran, my Akka, and she was going to die, I could feel it in the air around her.

She was going to die and Suman was leaving with my brother. They were all leaving me.

“Go phone 911, quick, we need to call the ambulance,” Suman said, pushing me out of the room. It felt like that day seven years ago when Hemant was born. Only this was a departure and that was an arrival.

“Then I must phone Papa and let him know, and you go and get Anu,” Suman said. She was running back and forth. What will she do on her own without me or Papa to take care of her, has she thought about that?

“Why do I have to get Anu?” I wanted to know.

“Because I am going with Akka to the hospital and you can’t stay alone at home.”

I didn’t want that meddling bitch here, but it was not the time to create a fuss. I called 911, and we waited and waited forever, but perhaps it was only fifteen minutes. Then I went and got Anu.

We watched them load my grandmother into the dark hollow of the van, and watched Suman clamber in after her. Anu stood beside me in her black parka, shivering slightly. I hate her. She tried to put her arm around my shoulder but I moved away. Her fault. Everything is her fault.

“I am sorry,” Anu said. The traitor. The thief. “I hope she will be okay.” She put her notebook and her keys on the dining table and took off her jacket.

“She’s my grandmother, not yours,” I said.

Anu opened her mouth then changed her mind. “Yes, of course she is yours, Varsha. And I’ll bet you’re feeling
miserable right now. And with flu and all too. Why don’t you go up to bed and I’ll open the door when your dad gets home.”

“No, it’s okay,” I said. “You don’t need to, I can do it.”

She shrugged and sat on the sofa. I was dying to sit too. My legs were shivery. But I stood at the window instead, and watched for Papa. He was home in half an hour and started packing to go to the hospital.

“We might have to stay there overnight,” he said. “Anu, would you mind sleeping over here with the kids?”

“She doesn’t need to, Papa. I’m old enough to be here alone, remember? And if there’s something we need help with, I can always go get her from our cottage.”

“Don’t be absurd, Varsha,” Papa snapped, giving me the kind of look he usually keeps for Mama. How could he humiliate me in front of a stranger? He knows what a responsible girl I am. I’m capable, I’m smart, I’m efficient. He’s said so a million times. I’ve taken care of my brother all of his life, haven’t I? Watched him being born, changed his diapers, helped Suman with him when she was sick, taken him to school, made sure he eats his lunch and nobody does anything mean to him?

“Not to worry, Vikram,” Anu said in her smarmy voice. “You go ahead and look after Akka. We’ll be fine here, won’t we, Varsha?”

I ignored her.

“Thanks so much, I owe you one,” Papa said.

“And I can go get Hemant from the bus stop, not a problem. Now go, we’ll be fine. Give us a call after you get there to let us know how she is.”

At four o’clock, we left to get Hemant.

“You shouldn’t be out in this weather,” Anu said, trying to put her hand on my forehead the way Suman does to feel the temperature. Pretending to be my friend.

I brushed her hand off and got into my jacket. “It’s not a good idea to be alone out there. There’s safety in numbers,” I told her. Hem is
my
brother. I didn’t want her stealing him from me with sweet talk and T-shirt gifts.
And
he’s a blabbermouth. God only knew what he might tell Anu if I wasn’t there to stop him.

“That doesn’t make any sense, does it?” Anu argued. What does she know? She hasn’t lived here all her life, has she? She hasn’t seen the kind of winter we have, has she? “I mean, if you’re at home, and we don’t get back at a reasonable time, at least you can phone for help. Right?”

I shrugged. “I’m going to pick up my brother. You can stay here if you want.”

Anu shook her head and followed me out. It was freezing and my breath hung like a ghost in front of my face. The sky was icy white and so low I felt I could reach out and poke my finger through it. We trudged silently towards the bus stop, me on one side of the road and she on the other. I wondered if she could feel how much I hated her.

The bus roared up and stopped. Hem jumped out
bright in his red jacket with the dark blue stripe that Papa bought for him last year, and his new red toque and gloves which are attached to his sleeves with long elastic string so he won’t lose them.

“Why is she here?” he demanded. “Where’s Mama? What happened to my Mama?”

“Nothing happened to Mama,” I said, grabbing his arm. “Come on now, hurry.”

“Then where is she?”

“Your grandma fell ill,” Anu said, like it was any of her business. “Your parents have taken her to the hospital. I’m going to stay with you until they get home.”

“Akka’s going to die?” Hem shrilled, his voice high with panic.

“No, she will be fine,” Anu said. She held out a hand for him, but I jerked him closer to me.

Hem was quiet for a while, running along beside me. Then he said, “There’s a blizzard coming. I can smell it.”

“You can?” Anu said. I could almost hear her smiling, making fun of Hem. She doesn’t know anything.

“Yes, it’s coming from over there.” Hem pointed a red finger towards the faraway mountains which were invisible from all the snow that the wind was tossing up.

Our house was waiting for us, the living room window toasty with light. I love seeing the house in winter like that. We rushed inside and Anu offered to make us some hot chocolate.

“There’s no need,” I told her. “I am perfectly capable of doing it.”

She hung up her jacket carefully and turned to me, hands on her waist. “Look, missy, I don’t know what your problem is with me, but I have had it up to here!” She stuck her hand up against her eyes. “Now, I’m doing this for Suman’s sake and for your Akka—staying here with the two of you. So try to be a bit more pleasant, okay?”

I glared at her. I was going to get back somehow. I hated her then with all my heart.

“Fine,” I said. I could pretend too. That she’s a friend, not a thief who is planning to take my family away from me. I’m good at pretending.

“Now scoot upstairs and have a lie-down—otherwise we’ll have to call the ambulance for you too. Off, off. I’ll take care of your brother and fix us some dinner.” She smiled at me and I smiled back.

“Hem needs to come upstairs too and change his clothes and have a wash. Then he can have a snack and a glass of chocolate milk. That’s how we do it,” I told her. “And Mama has already cooked food, so no need for you to make anything.”

“Of course, thanks for letting me know. I’ll make us all chocolate milk then while you’re upstairs.” She turned on the lights in the living room and the dining room and the kitchen.

I followed her, turning them all off except for the kitchen and one near the stairs going up.

“What on earth do you think you’re doing?” Anu asked.

“Papa said waste not want not. We don’t need all those lights.”

“Okay, okay, whatever your Papa says. Anything else?”

“And the curtains must remain shut too. That way the heat stays inside the house.”

Anu was getting annoyed, I could see. But I didn’t care. This is
my
house. I went around the house drawing all the curtains and it was like we were inside a cave.

“Are you mad at me, Varsha?” Hem asked, trailing after me up the stairs to our room. “Why are you mad at me?”

“No, I’m not mad at you.”

“Are you mad at Anu? She’s making us chocolate milk, that’s
nice
of her,” said my stupid brother.

“You don’t know anything at all, do you, Hem?” I said, dragging him into our room and shutting the door. “She isn’t nice, she’s a wicked woman.”

“But why?” Hem looked at me with his silly round eyes. He had already forgotten the nasty things she had written about us in her notebook.

“She wants to take you and Mama away, that’s why.”

“Where to?” His eyes got even bigger and he squeaked like a rabbit.

“I don’t know.”

“Will you come with us?”

“No, Mama can’t take me. It would be illegal. And I can’t leave Papa alone, can I?”

“But I don’t want to leave you,” Hem said, holding on to me really tight. “Tell her she can’t take us away.”

“No, she doesn’t know I know,” I replied. “And don’t go blabbing to her, you hear? I’ll figure it out, don’t worry.”

I wandered over to the window while Hem got out of his school clothes and changed into his pyjamas. It was already dark and the snow was coming down thick and fast, swirling around in the wind, all mixed up with the snow tossed up from the ground. Pretty soon you could see nothing. I was glad we were tight inside our warm house, safe.

We went downstairs and Anu was waiting for us with chocolate milk and a fake smile. Inside, I knew she was plotting and plotting to break up my family.

The phone rang and she picked it up. I ran and grabbed it from her.

“Hi Papa, it’s me, Varsha,” I said. “How is Akka?”

Another stroke, Papa said. She is deteriorating fast. “We’ll be staying here overnight. Be good. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Tomorrow. It seemed such a long way off.

“Is Akka dead?” Hem asked tearfully.

“No, no she isn’t,” I told him. I pulled him into my arms, glad of his baby warmth. “But she might be, pretty soon. She’s very old and very sick, you know.”

Hem nodded solemnly.

Our tenant stood there looking at us, her face shadowed and creepy, like a mask. She turned on the living room light and became real again.

“Don’t,” I said to her.

“Don’t what?”

“Take away our Mama,” I said. “I don’t want you to.”

She looked stunned. Aha! She thought I didn’t hear.
She looked away. Then she turned back to me and said gently, as if I was a moron or something, “I am not
taking
her away, Varsha. If she leaves, she will do it because she wants to. It’s her decision. Not mine or, for that matter, yours either.”