Read Tell Me No Secrets Online
Authors: Michelle-Nikki
Tell Me No Secrets (12 page)
He balled his lips, exhaled, and looked pointedly at me. “Got something you want to say, Chyanne? Go ahead and get that shit off your chest and let this be the last time before I have to say something to you that would hurt your feelings.”
I stood with the bowl of fruit I had in my hand and rolled my eyes at him on my way to the kitchen.
“Roll your eyes at me one more time.”
I didn't respond to the lethal promise of the threat that went unspoken in his tone. Although I didn't think he would put his hands on me while I was pregnant, I wasn't going to try and test my theory. I put the bowl of fruit away and walked back to my couch to sit. His eyes were still watching me like he was an eagle watching his prey.
“You drove all the way over here to stand there and look at me?”
Aric scared me at times, but there was a defiance that sparked in me every time I thought about how he'd made me fall in love with him knowing he was married. The thought that he had used me made my eye twitch as we stared at each other. I knew I was seconds away from being snatched off of my sofa but, at that point, I didn't care.
“Go on and say what you have to say Chyanne,” he snapped at me.
“Who said I had anything to say? You're the one who barged in here like you had a problem. I don't have a problem . . . oh, other than the fact that you forgot to mention you were married, had sex with April four or five times, and now I have to deal with being called a fat bitch every time I call your phone.”
I gave a sarcastic half second smile and turned the volume back up on my TV. It was only five seconds before he snatched the remote and turned the TV off. He dropped the remote on the table and stood directly in front of me. I either had to look up at him or stare at his dick in my face. I chose to look up at his face.
“April?” he repeated it like a question and frowned. “We're back to talking about that bitch now?”
“Oh, now she's a bitch? She wasn't that when you were having sex with her!”
“What? I had sex with her once. She sucked my dick once. That's it. Last I heard she was giving Gabe the same treatment. She didn't mean shit to me. A quick fuck is all she was and I've been telling her the same thing I'm telling you every time she's called my phone. I'm quite sure I've told you this before . . .”
For some reason it made me feel a little better to hear him clarify things about him and April. Hearing her tell me that they'd had sex that many times unnerved me and made me feel as if she would always have one up on me when it came to Aric. So hearing him tell me one more time that she didn't mean anything to him solidified to me exactly what she'd meant to him, but that still left his wife to deal with.
“And what about your wife?” I asked folding my arms across my chest.
“What about her? Look, I have a wife. You're going to have to get used to that for now just like she's going to have to get used to the fact that if this is my baby, you'll always be around.”
I cocked my head back to the side and looked at him like he was nuts. “I don't have to get used to anything!”
“You don't really have a choice now do you? As the mother of my child, it's imperative that you do. For the time being Stephanie isn't going anywhere.”
“I didn't even know there was a damn Stephanie. In the world according to Aric, he didn't have to mention he had a wife until she sucker punched me,” I snapped sardonically.
“I told you there was some shit that I had to handleâ”
“Didn't say it was a wife.”
He rubbed his left hand across his bald head and then down his face. “So that's it? You're mad about the wife.”
It grated my nerves how he made it seem like him having a wife wasn't a big deal and how he seemed to negate my feelings on the matter.
“I'm mad about being put in the middle of something I had no idea there was! I'm mad because I have to deal with your childish wife sending videos of you and her having sex to my phone, pictures of your penis to my phone, and pictures of her naked to my phone. That's why I'm mad, Aric!”
“I get that, but what the hell are you made at me about it for? I didn't send that shit to your phone and I didn't know that she had sent it. Get your number changed if it bothers you that damn much. And I can promise you what she sent you of her and me having sex is something old she pulled up on her phone,” he said.
“I shouldn't have to get my number changed because you can't control your wife! I didn't start this mess and I don't want to be in the middle of it anymore.”
“So what does that mean?”
“That means I'm done.”
I watched as he folded his arms across his chest, his thumb and pointing finger rubbing his chin before asking, “Done with what exactly?”
I knew what he was asking so I was trying to think of a pleasant way to say I was done with him. I couldn't think with his presence looming over me like he was a menacing giant. I tried to get up and he used his right hand to gently push me back down on the sofa. He leaned forward and both of his muscled arms caged me in, his face so close to mine that I could feel his breath on my nose.
“Done with what Chyanne?” He asked me again.
I felt my head spinning and my heart beating loudly as I looked up at him trying my best not to cower under his stare. His cologne usually turned me on, now it made me nauseous.
“I'm done with this Aric, with us. I don't want to fight another woman about her husband. It's not right on any level. I don't want to be your âother' woman.”
“Who said you had to be the other woman?”
“You made me the other woman when you . . .”
“When I what?”
A shiver ran through me. I'd told him I loved him in a text message, but I didn't know if I wanted to come out and tell him to his face. He was already making it hard for me to breathe being so close to me. I guess you could call me a sad case because, in that moment, it proved that he really had me shaken. I was afraid to express my feelings in my home.
“Do you really want to be done with me Chyanne?” He asked me.
“On that level, yes.”
His stare was a lethal one. One that made me want to sink down into the couch and disappear. We kept playing the staring game until he stood and moved toward the door. He looked to be deep in thought as he opened my front door.
“That's cool Chyanne,” he said after turning to me. “I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to do, but make up your fucking mind. Don't play with me. One minute you don't want me to touch you and the next minute you got your legs spread for me telling me how good my dick is. Don't say shit else to me unless it's to tell me if the baby you're carrying is mine. I don't have time for games. I have enough bullshit to deal with at home and I'm not going to deal with yours too.”
I didn't know why, but in that moment, it was like, I felt dreadful. I felt as if he was about to walk out of my life forever and I wasn't sure I wanted that. I mean, I did love him. As much as I hated to admit it, and as angry as I was at him for leading me on knowing he had a wife, I still wasn't sure if I didn't want him to be a part of my life. I know I'd said I wanted to be done just minutes before, but I didn't expect the reaction he'd given me. As he walked out of the door, I jumped from my couch and ran after him.
“Aric, wait!” I yelled, but he kept walking to his car.
I knew he saw me standing in my driveway and I knew he heard me calling him, but he ignored me and drove away. I was left standing there looking like a fool wondering if he was really done with me. I tried calling him several times that nightâleft several messages, but he didn't answer. That sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that I always got.... yeah for the next couple of days it stayed with me. I couldn't get out of bed. I was sick. Not sure if it was from the pregnancy, or the thought that Aric would no longer be a part of my life if this baby wasn't his; although I knew it was his. I was throwing up again and was doing a horrible job of eating like I was supposed to.
Every time I tried to eat something it would come right back up. I ended up in the emergency room getting an IV drip in my arm because I'd dehydrated myself. I tried calling Aric to tell him, but either his wife answered his phone or he wouldn't answer. I called him at work and his assistant said he was busy anytime I got through.
Jamie came to take me home from the hospital because it was clear I couldn't drive myself, and he was the only person I had left to call. Justin was out of the country and even though I'm sure the pregnancy had something to do with my being sick, Jamie also knew it had something to do with Aric. He could tell by the way every time my phone rang and I jumped for it, or when he asked me why I didn't call Aric to come and get me. My reaction and tears were probably a dead giveaway. After telling me exactly what he thought of Aric, Jamie and I had a few disparaging words because, then, he proceeded to tell me in so many words how stupid he thought I was. Although we had that argument, Jamie still stayed with me until he had to get back to his work and I was grateful.
Two days after Aric walked out of my house, the test results came back.
Aric
A knock on the door silenced the conversation in the room.
“Yeah,” I called out.
We all turned to see Stephanie walk in with food and beer. She'd been upstairs cooking and had been in a good mood ever since she found out that her father was coming to visit. Once her father had retired as Chief of Police for the county of Fulton, he and Stephanie's mother had moved to Nassau in the Bahamas. Gabe, Gabe's father, whose name was Xavier, and I had been sitting in my entertainment room playing Dominoes and talking about different things, including Stephanie and our marriage. Mr. Williams was an old-school cat. He was the type of Black man who would have been labeled distinguished back in the day and even today. He was dressed in what I was sure to be an expensive linen suit and his feet clad in men's Ostrich sandals showed he was a man of luxury. He was sixty-two but looked no older than thirty-five and he and Gabe looked like they could be brothers instead of father and son. They both had locs that stopped just below their shoulder blades and as far back as I could remember Mr. Williams had always kept his that length.
The smell of fried chicken hit our noses as well as the other food she and her mother had been cooking upstairs. The look on her face was euphoric as she smiled at her father. It would never be denied that Stephanie was a daddy's girl just as it wouldn't be denied that she had him wrapped around her pretty little fingers.
“I brought food,” she exclaimed as she set a platter of fried chicken down on the bar behind us.
She kissed my lips. It was all for show I guess. She hadn't kissed me in days. Her mother was right behind her with a steaming pot that smelled like her famous broccoli casserole and I was sure more food was to follow. Just as Gabe and his father looked alike, Cecilia and Stephanie looked like spitting images of one another. They were both petite, had beautiful bodies, and their dark skin was without blemish. They both lived by Pilates and Cecilia still taught kick boxing at a domestic violence shelter. The only difference was that Stephanie's hair flowed down her back and Cecilia wore her once silky tresses in sister locs now.
“Good Lord, how do you all sit in here with all of this smoke?” Cecilia asked fanning her hand after she had set the pot down.
Mr. Williams favorite past time was smoking his Cuban cigars but the smoke didn't bother me or Gabe.
“If you would make your retreat hasty, you wouldn't have to worry about the smoke,” Mr. Williams told her.
Although his words came out without fervor, Cecilia smiled. “I figure Xavier is talking about something they don't want us to hear Stephanie, so come on,” she said while still smiling at her husband.
She was right. I guess Stephanie had called and told her parents about Chyanne or more so about Chyanne being pregnant. Now they were at my house and Mr. Williams was doing what any father would do for his daughter. He was trying to assess the situation and make sure she wasn't going to be out on her ass. I knew my wife and I knew by the way she was looking at her father that she was hoping he could help her to fix what used to be our marriage. I knew the reason she had called both her parents and I knew the reason her father was taking the time to sit in my basement and talk to me.
I watched as she and her mother made their way back up the stairs. Things between Stephanie and me had been okay for the last couple of days. There hadn't been any arguments and no fights. Probably because I hadn't been talking to Chyanne and I had been focused on my work more than anything. Chyanne had gotten on my damn nerves so bad the last time I'd seen her that my mind was made up to leave her the hell alone. I wasn't going to force anybody to do what they didn't want to do, so if she didn't want me to touch her in that way then I wouldn't. I was tired of her freely giving me pussy one minute and then acting like I was forcing her to do it the next. Shit got old and it got old real fast. I hadn't talked to her since that night although she had been calling like she had lost her mind.
Don't ask me about my feelings for Chyanne because I wouldn't be able to give you a straight answer. Did I like her? Yes. Did I care a hell of a lot about her? Yes. Did I love her? I had a whole lot of love for her and what she presented to me when I met her. Believe it or not, she was good for me when we first met. She gave me what I hadn't had in a long time. She gave me peace and tranquility. She gave me something different than what I was used to. Did I want to be with her? No. Once Stephanie and her mother had disappeared and closed the door, Gabe, Mr. Williams, and I went back to playing Dominoes.
“Okay, now that all of the bullshit talk is out of the way,” Mr. Williams said as he put his cigar down and pushed his Dominoes to the side. “Tell me what the hell is going on with you, Stephanie, and whoever the hell this other woman is.”
I looked over at him and made sure to keep eye contact. “Her name is Chyanne and there's nothing going on between me and Stephanie that hasn't been going on since before Chyanne was in the picture. I don't know why she keeps insisting that it has anything to do with her.”
“Maybe it's because you got her pregnant,” he answered quickly.
“Wasn't intentional.”
“Did you use protection when you were fucking her?”
“No.”
Was she on the pill?”
“No.”
“Anything?”
“Not to my knowledge.”
“Well what in the hell did you think would happen when you're fucking her raw?”
Gabe gave a chuckle before getting up to grab a Corona from the bar. Mr. Williams was always straight no chaser so his vernacular didn't surprise me.
“To be honest, I wasn't thinking about thatâ”
“Obviously.”
“No disrespect, Mr. Williams, but what's done is done and I'm not trying to change it or make any excuses for it. I hate like hell that Stephanie and I have reached this point in our marriage. Hell, sometimes I sit and try to figure out how we got here. You know I loved the shit out of Stephanie, would have given anything to make her happy, but . . . shit happens . . . people change. And Stephanie and I did a hell of a whole lot of changing, and as you can see Mr. Williams, we haven't changed for the best.”
He rubbed his chin and picked his cigar back up before continuing, “I hear what you're saying but don't bullshit me Aric. You still want to be with my baby girl, or not?”
As he talked he moved his hand around and the cigar flicked between his fingers. His eyes were directly on me and I removed my glasses before I answered. Gabe had casually removed himself from the conversation and was leaning on the bar with a beer in his hand looking on.
“I've been asking Stephanie for a divorce for the past two years almost, Mr. Williams. Two years,” I repeated holding up the same amount of fingers to get my point across. “We've been havingâ”
“Two years, huh?” he interrupted.
Mr. Williams was that kind of guy. Although he listened to everything being said, he pulled out parts that were most important to him.
“Two years,” I repeated.
He moved around on his stool before puffing his cigar and putting it back down on the ash tray. “I see there's a lot going on that I don't know about. So just what in the hell is going on with you two Aric? How do two people who've been together for as long as you and Stephanie get to this point? It wouldn't make sense to throw all of that time invested away at this point would it? You guys have been through hell and back together.”
“I don't think there's any more good we could do for one another at this point. Too much has happened . . .”
“Cecilia and I have been together for over forty years, since she was sixteen. I've put that woman through shit that I can't even imagine enduring. Had a son with her best friend”âhe nodded toward Gabe as he mentioned that last partâ“cheated on her countless times, fought with her, put my hands on her in ways a man should never touch a woman, especially not his woman, and she still stuck with me. Now, I know my baby girl. She is every bit of her mother so I know you have had to deal with a bunch of bullshit, but to walk away from it all? What would be the point in wasting all of that time?”
“I see it one way Mr. Williams and you see it another. I still love her enough to let her go. I still love her enough to allow her a chance at being happy again because staying with me is not going to make her happy. I don't . . . want to be in this marriage anymore. I'm tired of arguing, tired of fighting, tired of us cheating on one another, fighting about that, making up, and repeating the cycle all over again. I'm to the point that I just want peace Mr. Williams. All I want is peace and where Stephanie and I are right now, we will never have peace with one another. Never.”
I had been talking with my hands, mad that my sentiment about the subject was getting to me. Mr. Williams didn't say anything for a few minutes as he looked like he was deep in thought. My phone started vibrating on the table and I knew it was Chyanne without looking at it.
“And you say it has nothing to do with... thisâthis . . . girlâ”
“Chyanne.”
“Chyanne. Your feelings have nothing to do with her?”
“No.”
“How old is this girl?”
“Twenty-five.”
Gabe tossed me a beer. I caught it mid-air and nodded my thanks to him. He offered one to his father, but he declined.
Mr. Williams blew out steam, shook his head, and looked at me again. “You're fucking a twenty-five year old? Got her pregnant? You didn't think that this would bother your wife, Aric? The woman who has been trying to have a baby by you for a while now?”
I frowned my face and looked at him after taking a huge gulp of beer. “Mr. Williams, Stephanie aborted our last child together. If she was trying to have my baby, she could have fooled me with that one.”
By the way he looked at me I could tell that was news to him. He slowly leaned on the table and clasped his big hands together. To any lesser man, the way Mr. Williams was looking at me would have intimidated them. My phone vibrated again and again I ignored it. Mr. Williams scratched his head before looking over at me again.
“Son, what I'm trying to convey to you here is that even with all you've just told me, what you and Stephanie have endured should haveâ”
“Mr. Williams, would you want me to stay with your daughter if you knew that we've physically fought with one another? If you knew that I've had to physically put my hands on her to sometimes get my point across, would you still want me to be with her?”
I knew I was taking a huge risk. The one thing Mr. Williams did not play about was any man putting his hands on his daughter. He could have jumped across the table and tried to put his foot in my ass. I actually believe he was contemplating it with the way he was rubbing his hands together staring at me. I knew my words stung him, pulled at the love he had in heart for Stephanie. I'd said it in a way that my words would have that effect. The one thing I hated was for a person to tell me how to run my life. No matter who the hell it was. Nobody was going to force me to stay somewhere I wasn't happy. No one was going to tell me I didn't have the right to live my life the way I wanted to and although I knew Mr. Williams could still kick ass like the best prized fighter, an ass whooping is what I would not takeâfrom any man.
So as he leaned back in his chair and sat upright as if his spine would break if someone pushed him the wrong way, I knew he was either going to respect what I was saying or jump up and test my manhood. We never got a chance to test my theory. The door to the basement flew open and Stephanie came barging down the stairs. The look on her face led me to believe that she had been eavesdropping on what her father and I been discussing. I was wrong however. As her mother stood at the top of the stairs with her with both hands on her hips looking as if she was staring at a ghost, Chyanne rounded the corner. I didn't know whether to be mad, embarrassed, pissed, or downright surprised. I knew Chyanne didn't like confrontation so for her to be in my house meant she must have had something really important to say to me.
I watched as she slowly made her way down the stairs. I could see on her face that she hadn't expected for me to have a full house and even though it was a very tense situation for us all, her beauty was still not lost on me. Her hair was pulled back into a sleek pony tail allowing that pregnancy glow to enhance her beauty. She wore no makeup and the chocolate lip gloss reminded me of how lush and soft her lips were. Pregnancy was supposed to make you gain weight, but it looked as if Chyanne had dropped a few pounds. She had on the black leather jacket I had bought her, a pair of light denim jeans fit snug against her legs and thighs, a button down white shirt flared over her full belly and hips, and a pair of black boots were on her feet. I could tell she had taken extra care in her appearance for this occasion.
Her chocolate eyes took in the scene around her. She was a smart woman so it wasn't that hard for her to figure out that she was in the presence of Stephanie's parents. There was a manila envelope in her hand and my heart rate increased. I had been so caught up in what was going on that the paternity test had completely slipped my mind.
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