Tell Me You Do (20 page)

Unsettled, she pulled her hand away, not daring to look at him, then she turned and walked back to her desk, closing the office door behind her.

Don’t be stupid, Kelly.
It was just a handshake, that was all. Nothing to get dramatic about. Just a simple handshake.

She walked round her desk, dropped into her chair and stared at her blank computer monitor. They could do this, couldn’t they? They could work together without sex getting in the way.
Couldn’t they?

Over the next couple of months they
did
manage to keep sex out of their relationship—on the surface, at least. And that was good enough for Kelly. It was always there, simmering away underneath, but she told herself she was getting used to it, like a dull toothache you put off going to the dentist about.

She didn’t regret backing away from whatever had been brewing between them. Jason had spent the intervening time cementing her sense of self-righteousness on that front. While he obviously hadn’t been dating anyone at work, he
had
been dating.

Kelly had a list on the notepad on her desk. A list of names. Girls’ names.

When a new one called they’d sound breezy and hopeful. Kelly had now started adding to the list just based on a
particular tone of voice on the other end of the line. But the women whose names were at the top of the list had lost that optimism now. If they called at all, they sounded tearful and stressed. More than one had shouted at her on the phone when she’d told them Jason wasn’t there or was unavailable, thinking that Kelly was covering for him.

She hadn’t been. If he wasn’t busy she put them straight through. He could deal with them himself. Definitely
not
part of her job description.

One morning, Jason buzzed through and asked her to come into his office. Kelly rose from her desk and opened the door. The little kick of attraction still came as she spotted him bent over his desk, scribbling furiously on a pad, but she didn’t dread or even resent it anymore.
You’re alive,
it told her. She almost welcomed the daily reminder, even missed it on the weekends.

One day, maybe, she’d find a man who made her heart jump the same way, a man who was ready to be a grown-up about his relationships. One who wouldn’t run when the going got tough. If there were such a fairy tale creature, of course… .

Jason looked up as she crossed the office and sat down in the chair opposite him. She smiled gently as she met his gaze.

It wasn’t this one. No, definitely not this one.

‘Any updates?’ he asked her.

She nodded and looked down at her notepad. ‘Yes, all three runners have received the sample shoes. Emerson’s out of the country at the moment, but the other two hope to test them out within the week and give us a verdict.’

‘Good,’ Jason said, nodding. ‘I want to go to contract as soon as possible on this. We need to find us a face that fits.’

He made a little gesture with his mouth, pulling it down at the edges.

‘What?’ she asked.

He shrugged. ‘Nothing.’

‘Are you unhappy with any of the three we’ve shortlisted? Because we can keep looking …’

He shook his head. ‘No. They’re all … fine.’ And then he started to tell her about the ideas he’d been discussing with the marketing department and the advertising company they’d hired. She scribbled away on her pad, noting down names and dates and times. Things for her to do and things to remind Jason of later, when the next amazing idea hit and he’d half forgotten about this one.

When their brief meeting came to an end, she rose to return to her desk.

‘You’re coming to the company picnic next Saturday, aren’t you?’ Jason asked. ‘Bring your sons, there’ll be plenty of other kids to play with.’

Kelly looked back at him. ‘I think you’re insane. This is London, not Los Angeles. Don’t you know that organising something like that is practically an open invitation for the weather gods to come and mess with you?’

Jason leaned back in his chair and clasped his hands behind his head. He dropped the tone of his voice and impersonated someone; his father, she guessed. ‘The Knight Corporation is still a family company at heart, and the annual picnic is an important part of creating that ethos.’

She raised her eyebrows. ‘Big fans of outdoor eating then, your family?’

He shrugged. ‘Not really. Never once had one on the lawn at home, despite there being acres of it. Dad would never have been home for it anyway—too busy at the office. And my mother would never have thought to organise one without his say-so.’ He gave her a tight smile. ‘He let us go to the office picnic, though, so he could show what a great family man he was, so I can’t complain.’

There was that hint of pain behind his laughing eyes again, the one she glimpsed every now and then that tugged at her
heart. But Kelly had developed a coping mechanism for these moments, and it was very effective too. The key was to take a mental step back and see the big picture where Jason Knight was concerned, to remember that was only one facet of him and there were other things she needed to keep in the forefront of her consciousness.

She fumbled in her pocket for the tiny object she’d stowed there earlier. ‘Erm … one of the cleaners gave this to me. She said she found it under your desk.’

She produced a gold hoop earring and placed it in front of him. Jason stared blankly at it.

So did Kelly. She hadn’t been aware of another woman spending significant time in this office besides her these last few weeks. Somehow the knowledge made her feel … territorial.

He picked up the hoop and turned it over in his hand, frowning slightly.

Kelly let out an exasperated sigh and shook her head. ‘You don’t know who it belongs to, do you?’

The fact he didn’t answer straight away told her all she needed to know, but then his eyes crinkled round the edges. ‘Would it help if I told you that I can narrow it down to one of two candidates?’

Kelly tried hard not to think about how such an item might get dislodged in the vicinity of Jason’s desk and just what kind of helping hand he’d had in the matter. ‘Nope. But that’s because it’s none of my business what you get up to once I’ve gone home for the evening. You could have a whole …
herd …
of girls up here for all I care.’

The mischievous grin remained, but his eyes searched her features as if he was trying to work out if she was telling the truth. She made sure she gave him no clues.

‘And while we’re on the subject, Amber called again.’

There it was, the shifty expression she’d been waiting
for … Jason didn’t have to open his mouth to let her know that poor Amber was history.

‘Don’t you give me that look … that boyish, won’t-you-take-pity-on-me look! I’ve told you already that you can tidy up your own messes. You’ve made your bed, as my grandmother used to say, and now you’ve got to lie in it. Just tell the poor woman it’s over!’

‘I have,’ Jason muttered, ‘and it’s not the bed bit that’s the problem.’

Kelly pretended she hadn’t heard. She sighed and shook her head. ‘Honestly, what do you do to these women to make them so … so … whatever they are?’

He opened his mouth, but Kelly held up a hand. ‘Scratch that. I don’t want to know how—’ She clamped her mouth shut before she could dig herself in any deeper.

The smile playing round the edges of his eyes was pure devilment. ‘How
what
?’

She licked her lips. She had been going to say
how good in bed you are,
but had managed to put the brakes on at the last second. Seemed that working for Jason was teaching her new skills in self-control.

‘How you … hypnotise … them,’ she finally said, watching Jason’s smile grow slowly even more wicked. ‘At least, that’s what I assume you do, because any woman in possession of her full senses would see through you in a flash.’

‘Like you do,’ he said, his voice low and velvety.

‘Precisely.’ She straightened her spine, turned and walked away, ignoring the knowledge that he was silently laughing at her as she headed back to the safety of her desk.

But at least he hadn’t pressed the matter or decided he was in a teasing kind of mood. She really
didn’t
want to know how good in bed he was. Chloe would say it was because she’d regret what she was missing, but it wasn’t that. When the sex was good, it was a nice extra in a relationship, but it
couldn’t be the foundation. She’d had that kind of chemistry with Tim and look how well that had turned out.

Oh, she knew it wasn’t always a disaster—Chloe and Dan being a case in point—but good sex, even off-the-charts sex wasn’t a guarantee of any sort, even if those wonderful endorphins it produced were such good liars, telling you it meant something when it didn’t, making you feel that something cosmically earth-shattering had occurred, when really it was just some well-designed biology to keep the species going.

She didn’t believe in ‘soulmates’ anymore. You just had to find a good match, someone you got on with, who wanted the same things out of life as you did, and if there was a spark there so much the better.

Never again would she be one of those silly women like the ones on Jason’s list. The ones who believed too much, who saw a god when there was really only an ordinary fallible man. No, Kelly had her eyes open now, and she was never going to be tricked that way again. The happiness of her and her boys depended on it.

K
ELLY ARRIVED AT
Greenwich Park the following Saturday with a firm grip on each of her sons and a cool bag slung across her body. The strap dug into her shoulder more with every step, but she wasn’t going to let go of Cal and Ben until they’d reached their destination. There was no telling where they’d run off to otherwise and the park was a big place.

Thankfully, she soon found some faces she recognised on a flat expanse of grass just before the landscape dipped dramatically to meet the Thames. Across the river, the sun glinted off the skyscrapers in Canary Wharf. It seemed odd for the towering buildings to be so close when she was standing in a royal park that was so old the sense of a rural idyll still clung about it.

She sighed and looked up at the bright sun climbing steadily in the sky. Weather forecasting was obviously not her talent, because the day was as clear and warm as any that blessed Los Angeles. Well, that was what Kelly imagined. The furthest west she’d ever been was St Ives.

As they neared the growing sprawl of Aspire employees, she tried to stop herself scanning the crowd for Jason. And failed miserably.

It didn’t matter. He wasn’t there yet. She shook her head and concentrated on laying a tartan blanket out on the warm grass, forbidding herself from looking up and checking for
who else had arrived once she’d finished. That done, she sat down and leaned back on her hands, legs stretched in front of her, enjoying the sun on her face and the slight breeze that ruffled the loose hair around her shoulders.

At least, she enjoyed it until she was felled by two small boys who’d launched themselves at her. They were alternately strangling her, bouncing up and down and eyeing the play park at the bottom of the vast hill.

‘Can we go to the swings, Mummy? Can we? Can we?
Please?
’

Kelly unhooked Ben’s arm from around her windpipe and gasped for some oxygen before she answered. ‘Maybe after lunch,’ she told them, then pointed over to a blanket not far away, where Sarah from Accounting, her husband and brood of four children were gathered. ‘There are some kids your age over there. Why don’t you see if you can go and play with them?’

Cal pulled a face. ‘They’re
girls
.’

She smothered a smile. ‘Well, those
girls
have got a football in their bag. Still not interested in playing with them?’

The boys exchanged looks. Cal looked down and scuffed the grass with his trainer, before staring longingly at the assortment of brightly coloured pint-sized sports equipment being unloaded from a large holdall.

‘I suppose we could go and teach them how to play properly,’ he said slowly.

Once again, Kelly struggled to keep her lips in a straight line. From the look of the pink-and-lilac-clad tomboys clambering over their father to get to the toys, they could teach Ben and Cal a thing or two.

She pushed herself to her feet. ‘Come on, we’ll go and say hi.’

The boys loped behind her for a few steps, but started running the instant Sarah spotted them coming and beckoned
them over. Within thirty seconds Cal was being bossed by Sarah’s eldest as to exactly where he should put some discarded cardigans to serve as goalposts. Kelly stood, hands on hips, watching them for a moment and then accepted Sarah’s offer to join her on her blanket for a chat.

‘So what’s the deal with this picnic?’ she asked Sarah, keeping half an eye on the game of football that had just started. ‘We just slowly toast ourselves in the sunshine and stuff our faces?’

Sarah grinned at her as she rolled up her T-shirt sleeves to expose her shoulders. ‘If that’s what you want, but this being a sporty kind of staff, there’s also a chance to burn off the picnic calories, should you wish to. Jason’s big on organising games and races and getting the different departments to compete against each other.’

Kelly stared ahead and said nothing. Of course he was.

‘Highlight of the afternoon is the annual rounders tournament. Of course, Jason calls it baseball, and we don’t correct him, but we all know it’s really good old British rounders. Production and Design won last year and they’re determined to hold on to their trophy.’

Kelly closed her eyes. ‘Please don’t tell me there’s an actual trophy.’

Sarah chuckled. ‘Of course there’s a trophy! It’s all the guys talk about. It gives them gloating rights for the next twelve months.’ Her mouth hitched up at one side. ‘The way they go on about it, you’d think the stupid thing had magical powers. You watch, they’ll be warming up and taking their practice swings before lunch.’

Sarah was right about that. Not ten minutes passed before a band of serious-looking twenty-somethings, all with specially printed T-shirts with the Aspire logo and ‘P & D’ on the back, huddled together and started taking turns with a bat. Kelly only half watched them, content to just sit and do
nothing for once. Sarah’s husband was supervising the kiddie football game, so she didn’t even have to keep more than half an ear out for her sons’ voices.

For the first time in months, maybe even a couple of years, she felt as if she could kick back and do nothing. It was glorious.

She’d been sitting there quite happily, soaking up the sunshine, when that familiar prickling sensation crept up her arms. She glanced over to where the rounders players were warming up and her stomach lurched so hard she was almost convinced the ground had moved.

There was Jason, in faded jeans and a T-shirt, looking more gorgeous than a man had a right to as he laughed and chatted with some of the other guys. Out of his suit he looked … he looked …

Edible.

Sadly, that was the only word that fitted.

Kelly looked down at her own denim-clad thighs and suddenly wished for her normal temp uniform of skirt and blouse. She hadn’t realised they were part of her anti-Jason armour until that moment, but they were. And without her usual uniform the edges of their relationship … well, they seemed too
blurry.

She discovered she didn’t know what to do with herself. The position she was sitting in now seemed posed and fake, but whatever she did with her arms and legs just felt awkward and unnatural. It was as if she was expecting him to look up and notice her sitting there, expecting him to jog over and smile at her before he dropped down on the blanket beside her. And she wasn’t. Yes, they worked together, but that didn’t mean anything. There were plenty of other people he would want to spend time with today.

However, it was just as well she wasn’t secretly hoping Jason would come over and say hi, because for the next half
hour he was fully occupied showing young, pretty things—who’d developed a sudden burning passion for rounders—how to hold a bat properly. All of them needed one-to-one tuition, preferably involving Jason wrapping his arms around them from behind and swinging the bat with his large hands covering theirs.

Not that Kelly was paying much attention, although it didn’t take more than a quick glance to work out that Jason was loving every second of it.

Still, it irritated her that while she was aware of him maybe fifty feet away, while she could hear the artificially loud giggles of some of his protégées, she just couldn’t seem to get back that restful groove she’d had going. Eventually, she stamped to her feet, headed back to her own blanket and started unpacking her and the boys’ picnic. They were sure to be hungry soon, what with all that running around Sarah’s husband had them doing. And the fending off of yucky girls.

When it was all laid out she called her sons over. They ran back long enough to grab a packet of crisps each then raced back to their football game. On a normal day, Kelly would have sat them down and made sure they ate a sandwich, but today they were having so much fun she didn’t have the heart.

She sighed and picked up a packet herself. The first mouthful confirmed what she’d expected of them. She’d bought them at the pound shop and, while they weren’t quite out of date, they had a slight chewiness that suggested they were only just on the right side of staleness.

‘Can I have one?’

Kelly stopped chewing for a second and looked up to find Jason towering over her, silhouetted as he blocked out the sun. Unable to talk, she just nodded and watched with big eyes as he dropped gracefully on the blanket beside her and helped himself to a packet of cheese and onion.

‘Rounders over for now?’ she asked breezily, once she’d
swallowed her mouthful of crisp crumbs. ‘Only you seemed to have quite a fan club a minute ago.’

Why had she said that? Why? Now he’d know she’d noticed, and she didn’t want him knowing that.

Jason just grinned back at her. ‘Saving myself for later.’

Stop it,
she told her stomach, which did a little flip as his eyes glinted with mischief.
That sort of thing does not appeal to you.

She sat up and craned her neck. ‘Haven’t you got an ermine-lined blanket of your own around somewhere?’

Jason just laughed. ‘No. I forgot it. But it’s nicer to share.’

Kelly looked at the tiny, not-quite-wool tartan rug beneath them. If she’d known that she’d be forced to sit quite this close to him, she might have invested in one that was … oh … twenty times larger?

‘Well, the crisps are all you’re having off me. I didn’t bring a lot.’ She looked down at the little cling-film-wrapped packets of sandwiches and assortment of fruit in the centre of the rug. There were three chocolate biscuits also lurking in the bottom of the cool bag, but Kelly wasn’t giving hers up for anybody.

He reached behind him and pulled a proper wicker picnic basket with leather buckles forward. ‘I said I’d forgotten the blanket, not the food.’ His gaze flitted to her meagre provisions. ‘You’re sharing your blanket. Care to share my lunch?’

Something inside Kelly nosedived. Ah. That was it. He was taking pity on her. That was why he was here, clogging up her blanket when he could have been lolling around somewhere else with a leggy blonde wrapped around him.

She was about to open her mouth and tell him exactly where he could shove his fancy picnic, sandwich by sandwich, when he added, ‘My mother has this monstrosity sent to me from Fortnum’s every year, just for the company picnic. I think she thinks that because I’m in London the Queen
might just wander past and I’d better be properly provisioned, just in case.’

Now he’d made her laugh, which had so
not
been part of the plan. And when he opened the hamper up, she could see all sorts of delicious things in there … proper ham, not the watery packet stuff, pâté, scones, clotted cream. Her stomach growled and she decided that maybe she could take pity on her boss and help him out. Just this once.

He offered her a savoury minimuffin and she took it without hesitation. It was soft and slightly cheesy, with a hint of basil and sun-dried tomatoes. Heaven.

At that moment the boys rushed up. It seemed Sarah’s husband was in the mood for food too and had broken up the game to investigate his own picnic hamper. Both Cal and Ben skidded to a halt at the edge of the picnic blanket and stared at Jason.

‘Who are you?’ Ben said, with no hint of wariness in his tone, just curiosity.

Jason held up a hand for a high five, which Ben jumped for and slapped. ‘I’m Jason. I work with your mom,’ he said and held his hand out for his older brother. Cal shook his head and sidled towards Kelly a bit.

‘Your voice sounds funny,’ Ben said. ‘Are you from the telly? I’ve heard people talk like you on the telly.’

Jason grinned at the little boy. ‘Nope. Not from the TV. Just America. And, to me, you’re the ones with the funny voices.’

Ben just giggled. ‘My voice isn’t funny, but Mummy’s sometimes is. Especially when she’s cross and she’s—’

‘Ben, why don’t you stop pestering Jason and sit down and eat your sandwiches?’

Her youngest gave Jason a look that said,
See?

Jason leaned in and spoke in a stage whisper behind his hand. ‘She uses that voice on me too.’

Cal couldn’t help joining in after that. ‘Are you naughty
too sometimes?’ he asked as he sat down right next to Kelly, half on one of her feet.

Jason winked. ‘Sometimes.’

‘Always,’ Kelly said, and all three males shared a conspiratorial chuckle.

Great. Three seconds in his company and her kids had turned traitor and teamed up with Jason. This afternoon was going to be just peachy. She should have known, though. Of course Jason would get on with her kids … being such a big kid himself.

She unwrapped Ben’s sandwich and handed it to him. He handed it back to her.

‘What?’ she said. ‘It’s ham. You like ham.’

‘It’s pink,’ Ben replied, crossing his arms. ‘Only girls eat pink stuff.’

Kelly raised an eyebrow. ‘Really? You didn’t seem to mind much last week when you were scoffing your way through Auntie Chloe’s cupcakes.’

‘I want to eat meat.’

Kelly shook her head slightly. ‘Ham
is
meat.’

Ben gave her a superior kind of look. ‘I want red meat.’

‘Red meat …?’ What on earth was he talking about? Most meat was brown, maybe off-white. What the heck was Tim feeding them when they went to stay with him?

Ben nodded. ‘Like dinosaurs. I want to be a dinosaur. T-rex eats his meat all red and drippy.’

Her child wanted to eat raw meat. O-kay.

‘Look, Ben, you’re just going to have to take my word for it. Ham is meat and it’s not girly.’

Ben’s brows bunched together. ‘Won’t.’

‘Hey, buddy …’ Ben swung his head round to look at Jason. ‘Do I look girly to you?’ And he made a fist and displayed his rather fine biceps to make his point. Kelly’s mouth went dry.

Ben shook his head.

‘Then pass me one of those sandwiches, will you?’

Ben, keen to join in the game, leapt up and handed Jason one of his sandwich triangles. Jason made a big show of eating it all up and rubbing his stomach afterwards. ‘Yummy.’

Ben’s eyes were wide, but he didn’t make a move towards his lunch. Kelly knew just how stubborn her youngest could be. If Ben had decided the sky was luminous purple, then luminous purple it would stay—until he woke up one morning and decided it was zebra striped instead.