Tempting Fate (62 page)

Hours earlier, everyone had left the hospital, riding the joy of the birth of her baby.  Despite Jonah's immediate reaction to holding the baby just after she was born, Maggie had caught him staring at the baby while her mother held her.  Even when Cam had left the room so she could nurse, Jonah stayed.  There were times when the panicked mask he'd worn would lift and his expression filled with the same wonderful feelings consuming her. 

When visiting hours were over and everyone had left the hospital, Maggie found herself holding her daughter in her private hospital room, praying that she was wrong.  Maybe Jonah would want to be a father to her baby.  She clung to that thought as she fell asleep and again when she woke each time the baby needed to be fed. 

But she'd done nothing but cry since she'd woken during the early hours of the morning, turned on the overhead lamp behind her bed so she could nurse her daughter.  She knew immediately something wasn't right.  She'd held her panic in check until the nurse came in and confirmed what Maggie had expected, her baby's skin was turning yellow.  She'd read that baby jaundice was common.  But when the nurse snatched the baby from her arms and immediately brought her to the nursery, Maggie thought her world was tumbling down.  Fear like she’d never known gripped every ounce of her and wouldn’t let go. 

Without thinking, she immediately called the one person she knew would bring her comfort.  Jonah.  She didn’t bother to think about the hour, or that he’d probably be exhausted.  She should have waited until the morning, until he came to visit her again. 

But she just wanted him with her, needed him with her.

“You were right to ring me.  Did you talk with the doctor yet?”

“Briefly on the phone.  The resident on duty did the initial assessment.”

“What did he say?”

“Baby jaundice.  And something about incompatible blood.  My heart was hammering so loud I could barely concentrate.  He said he’d explain it all when he got here later in the morning to examine her fully and check the bilirubin levels again.”

“You shouldn’t have to go through this all alone,” he said quietly.

Her gaze swept over him.  It seemed amazing to think so, but he looked a few years older than he did this afternoon, as if someone had just dropped a tremendous weight on his shoulders.  Maggie sighed and closed her eyes as she fell back against the plump pillows stacked behind her on the bed.

“I should be in the nursery with Amanda.”

Disappointment seeped into his voice.  “You decided on a name?”

She smiled weakly, realizing for the first time what she’d done.  On those nights they sat in the library and talked, she’d always throw out a name or two and ask Jonah what he thought.  He’d always give his opinion.  “The playground could be a dangerous place for the kid with a name like that,” he’d joke.  She’d laugh and go on to the next name in the baby book.  This time, she hadn’t included him. 

“Yeah, do you like it?  I was so convinced this baby was going to be a boy that I never gave any real thought to a girl’s name.  But I think Amanda fits her, don’t you?”

He drew in a deep breath and nodded.  “You should stay in bed.  You look like you’re about to collapse.  What were those lights over the baby?”

“Bili-lights.  It’s a treatment for babies with serious jaundice.”

The tension between them was palpable.  Jonah avoided looking at her, touching her.  He just sat at the foot of the bed as stiff as a petrified board.  

She wanted her baby and since she couldn’t have that, Maggie wanted Jonah to hold her.  Who was she kidding, she wanted both.  She wanted her baby and she wanted Jonah.  For her.  For both of them.  She wanted to tell him she needed him, that she loved him and wanted to share this fear they both felt together.  But the distance between her and Jonah now seemed miles away.

“Maybe you should go home.  You look like you didn’t get any sleep at all,” she finally said when the silence dragged on longer than what was bearable. 

Jonah rubbed his hand over his shadowy beard and shook his head.  “I’ll talk to the nurse about having a cot brought into your room.  I want to be here when the doctor comes in to examine the baby.”  His eyes widened, suddenly unsure.  “That is if you want me to stay.”

Her bottom lip trembled as she smiled.  Jonah’s feelings toward the baby might not be what she had hoped for, but he was here for her and for that she was so very glad.

“I’d like that very much.”

Jonah drifted to the window, opening the blinds and staring out into darkness.

Light from the hospital spotlight glowed against the red brick exterior of the building.  From where she was sitting, Maggie could see that it was snowing.  The tiny shimmering flakes looked like diamonds falling from the sky.  In a few short hours people would be bustling about on the streets outside, getting ready to do some shopping for the holidays which were just around the corner.

“You should try to get some sleep,” Jonah said.  “You look...”

Maggie couldn’t help but chuckle at the expression on his face.  “You can say it.  I look like a Mack truck just hit me.  Well, I feel that way, so I guess it’s only right.”

He smiled and her insides blossomed to life. 

She eased herself over to the side of the narrow mattress.  “Come here,” she said softly, patting the empty spot next to her.  “You need some rest, too.”

His mouth sliced into a tired grin.  “That bed isn’t big enough for both of us.  You won’t get any sleep at all.”

“We’ll make it big enough,” Maggie insisted.  She wanted him to hold her.  She wasn’t going to sleep no matter how hard she tried, so she may as well take some comfort in Jonah’s strong embrace.  It was selfish, she knew.  But she didn’t care.  She needed him.  Now more than ever.

Jonah sank down on the mattress next to her and folded her in his arms.  He was warm and strong and exactly the medicine she needed.  She tucked her head beneath his chin and rested her cheek against his chest, listening to the steady drum of Jonah’s heartbeat against the early morning hospital noises filtering in from the hallway.  The high pitched whine of an empty gurney being pushed across the floor mixed with the whistling tune from the janitor as he made his way down the hall emptying wastebaskets into a large bin.  Babies were crying in the nursery.  One of them was Amanda. 

Maggie managed to sleep an hour or two before the blaring sunlight streaming in through the open blinds stirred her.  She opened her eyes and instead of feeling the comfort of Jonah’s arms around her, she was alone and feeling worse that she did when she’d climbed into bed. 

She glanced at the clock and gasped.  She’d slept well into the morning.  Why hadn’t anyone come to get her to feed Amanda? 

Muscles she didn’t even know she had screamed in protest as she tried to lift herself from the bed. She gave it a second try just as a nurse holding an IV bag entered the room.  

“You aren’t going anywhere,” the nurse said, replacing the old IV bag on the pole by the bed.  “You’re ghostly white.  I’ll bet you don’t even remember the doctor coming by to see you this morning.”

Maggie shook her head.  She hadn’t remembered anything since she’d fallen asleep in Jonah’s arms.

“How are you feeling?”

“Swell.”

The nurse arched an eyebrow in concern.  “I’ll bet.  You lost a lot of blood during delivery.  You’re still much too weak to be journeying back and forth to the nursery without some help.”

“I want to see Amanda.  I have to feed her,” Maggie said on a sigh.     

“Your husband is with your daughter now.  I’ll have him bring a wheelchair for you when it’s time to feed her again.” 

As if on auto-pilot, she pushed a tray of scrambled eggs and toast in front of Maggie.  The eggs made her stomach do an acrobatic roll. 

“You need to eat to build up your strength.  Try to at least have some juice and toast.”

She’d managed a few bites of toast and a cup of black coffee before her mother came in to help her dress out of her hospital gown.  Sponge bathed and donning the new pink nightgown and robe her mother had given her for her hospital stay, she was wheeled to the nursery to spend some time with Amanda.  

Jonah was sitting in a chair beside the bassinet which was still positioned under the bili-lights.  During the time she slept, he’d changed out of his old clothes into a pair of jeans and a green cable knit sweater.  His attention was so focused on Amanda that he didn’t realize she was there until she reached him.

She and Jonah spent the day sitting in the nursery, not really talking about anything.  Maggie reveled in the moments when she could have her baby in her arms to feed her.  Once through, Amanda went back under the bili-lights and all either of them could do was look at her, stroke her soft skin, and talk to her in a reassuring voice.  

Jonah placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, never leaving her side.  It was easier to handle seeing Amanda, touching her but not being able to hold her, when Jonah was with her. 

As the hours ticked by, Maggie felt more of her energy drain, a day of worry having taken the better of her.

“Come back to the room, Maggie,” Jonah said.

She lifted her chin, shaking her head.  “I don’t want to leave Amanda.”

“I know you don’t.  But you look as if you’re about to drop.  You’re going back to the room now before I have to pick you up off the floor.”

Maggie didn’t protest when, after giving the baby a sweet kiss on her tiny hand, Jonah wheeled her back to her room and helped lift her into bed.

As soon as her rump hit the mattress, her body sank deep into bed and she slumped against the cool pillow.  The room continued to spin.

“Let me get the nurse,” Jonah said.

“No, I just...need to rest a bit.  I’ll be fine.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Jonah conceded.  “Okay.  I’ll be in the nursery if you need me.”

As soon as the door closed behind Jonah, the telephone rang.  No one could have been more surprised than Maggie that it was Aaron Wallace.

* * *

With Maggie safely back in her room, Jonah turned his full attention to the baby lying in the incubator.  Her face was turned away from him and by the rise and fall of her chest, she appeared to be sleeping peacefully.  He slipped his hands under the lights so he could stroke Amanda's silky cheek, as if needing the connection to let her know he was there for her.  That he'd always be there for her if she needed him. 

Her very existence astounded him, how she could be so beautiful, so tiny, and so strong all at the same time.

“Daddy's here, princess,” he said softly.  As if on cue, Amanda turned her head to face him.  She couldn't see anything because of the protective visor covering her eyes, but something told Jonah she knew he was there.  His heart exploded with the love he'd been so utterly afraid to feel.

A deep chuckle had him turning around, where he was met by the amused Dr. Haskell. 

“You act surprised that she recognized your voice.  She knows who her father is.  She's had nine months to get to know you.  Well, in her case, a little less since she decided to make an early entrance into the world.”

“How's is she doing?” 

Dr. Haskell's smile faded and his demeanor immediately turned professional.  “Not as well as I'd like.  In fact, I'd hope that the bili-light treatment would have changed her condition by now.  It usually does.”

“But in this case it hasn't?”  Jonah glanced at the baby.  All through the day he'd promised Maggie everything would be fine.  Amanda would get well and they could take her home.  He would keep that promise.  But after hearing the doctor voice his concerns, fear engulfed him.

Dr. Haskell continued.  “The Coombs test showed minimal change in her bilirubin levels.  I'm afraid we're going to have to take the next step and do an exchange transfusion.”

Jonah's face drained of blood, turning his skin cold.  “What for?”

“Your wife's blood type is O.  Your daughter has blood type A.  Sometimes the mother's blood creates antibodies that fight against the baby's blood type.  It's that incompatibility that is causing the high bilirubin levels and making your daughter jaundice.”

Jonah's mind raced.  If Maggie's blood type was O and the baby had blood type A, then the baby's natural father was also blood type A. 

A pang of jealousy assaulted him and he fought mightily to squash it down.  His blood type was O, the same as Maggie's.  But this wasn't about him, or the man who fathered Maggie's baby.  It was about Amanda. 

“Normally we'd take blood from the mother to use in a transfusion.  But since Maggie lost a lot of blood herself during delivery--”

“I'm sorry, I thought you'd use the same blood type as Amanda's.  Blood type A like the father.”

“Mother and child share the same blood in the womb.  Just after delivery, we'd want to make a compatible match with the mother's blood type.  Since blood type O is compatible with all blood types, we'll look for a donor with blood type O.  It will take care of the elevated bilirubin and pull your daughter out of immediate danger.”

Jonah's pulse hammered at his temple.  “How much danger is she really in?”

The doctor's face screwed into a frown.  “We don't like to see bilirubin levels this high for too long.  It can do a lot of damage.  The amount of blood needed is small, but it could make a world of difference.”

He peered down at little Amanda and saw so much of the woman he loved in her.  Only a day old and already she had a heavy burden to carry for someone so small.  It would shattered Maggie if anything were to happen to Amanda.

“Use my blood.  I'm blood type O as well.”

Dr. Haskell smiled knowingly.  “Mr. Wallace, a lot of people assume they know their blood type and are shocked when they learn otherwise.  I assure you, if your daughter has blood type A, which she does, then it is impossible for your blood type to be O given the fact that Maggie's blood type is also O.”

No, it wasn't, Jonah thought silently.  He wasn't Amanda's natural father.  But his blood was a compatible match.  It wasn't revolutionary, since millions of people shared blood type O, like him and Maggie.