Tempting Fate (58 page)

Intimate.  And sneaky.  She was his wife, and yet the most intimate part of him was foreign to her.

Footsteps in the hallway startled her, causing her to fall back against a row of business suits.  It was probably Mary walking through the hall, she decided as she waited.  Maggie's pulse pounded in her ear long after the sound of Mary's bedroom door closing had subsided, and it was quiet again. 

She clutched her chest.  She shouldn't be here.  She had absolutely no right to be invading Jonah's private space like this.  But she couldn't help it.  So much of Jonah was locked away inside him.  There was so much she wanted to know about the man she'd married.

Most married couples shared everything, including a bed.  But she and Jonah were not married in the traditional sense that allowed them that intimacy.  Jonah had married her simply to make sure his family home would not be sold to strangers.  None of that had changed.  No matter how much her crazy mind kept wandering to future days when she and her baby would be more to Jonah than just a business agreement.  When she could share this room, Jonah's bed.

But that wasn't going to happen.  And the sooner she rid her mind of that fantasy, the better off she'd be.

Jonah was coming home.  The longing that knowledge evoked in her was colossal.  If Maggie missed him this much now, how would she possibly be able to handle walking away from him when the year was over?

She didn't want to need him.  But somehow, no matter how hard she tried to tell herself otherwise, deep down she knew she really did.  And it scared her to death.

Maggie yanked one of Jonah's crisp white shirts from a hanger and lifted it to her face.  The cotton was cool and soft against her cheek and the fabric smelled of fabric softener...and of Jonah.  He'd be home tomorrow around noon, he had informed her on the phone.  She couldn't wait.

She lifted her nightgown over her swollen belly and then over her head, tossing it to the carpeted floor in a heap.  Swallowing a lump in her throat, she eased into Jonah's shirt and fastened the buttons.  Swimming inside Jonah's shirt felt like a great big hug.  It was exactly what she'd longed for.  What she wouldn't do to really have his strong arms wrapped tightly around her now. 

Tonight, just for tonight, she would stay in his room and allow herself to dream that she was living here in this home, in this room, as Jonah's wife out of love.  Tomorrow, she'd wake early, make the bed, remove any evidence that she'd been here, and creep back to her own room unnoticed.  Tomorrow she'd go back to being his wife out of convenience.

Fatigue had more of a hold on her than she'd realized when she pulled down the bedspread and crawled across the big mattress.  As Maggie lay down on the cool sheets, the scent of Jonah filled her head.  Tucking the blankets under her chin, she curled onto her side and fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

Due to sheer luck, Jonah managed to snag a seat on an earlier flight back to the States at the last minute.  The plane made the trip from London to New York in what felt like record time.  A quick jump on a shuttle flight back to Logan and he was home. 

He should have just kept his plans as they were and gotten a decent night's rest.  By the time he was due to arrive home, Maggie would be asleep anyway.  But instead of listening to reason, he'd charged through Heathrow like a madman to make his flight before the last boarding call.  He'd barely managed more than an hour or two of fitful rest on the plane and couldn't wait to fall into the comfort of his own bed.

By the time he finally climbed the stairs to his bedroom in the early morning hours, Jonah didn't care anymore.  He was home and that was all that mattered.

He couldn't get the sweet sound of Maggie's voice on the phone earlier out of his head.  She'd been tired, but the slight laughter in her voice as she spoke about her day stole his breath away.  He could almost see her smiling as she spoke, pulling at a lock of hair and twirling it around her finger as gripped the phone.

Good Lord, he missed her.  He didn't want to, but he did.  And the fact that their marriage never had to be was burning a hole in his mind.  

He stopped in front of her bedroom door with his hand on the doorknob and sighed heavily, not thinking about the sound it would make or if it would wake anyone in the house.  It was nearly four-thirty in the morning.  Maggie was sure to be sound asleep.  What right did he have to wake her just because he couldn't wait to see her again? 

She'd been overly tired lately, and the scare she'd had before he'd left for England still worried him immensely.  She shouldn't have to push herself so strong.  They may have married for practical means, but he was there for her if she needed to lean on him occasionally.  She wouldn't let him take care of her even a little.  He was more than willing to be there for her and would always be, long after this marriage was dissolved.  He wanted to be there.  The feeling was stronger than anything he'd ever known.

Forcing his hand from her doorknob, he dragged himself away and walked across the hall to his room.  He had no right to wake Maggie for his own selfish reasons.

Leaning over the nightstand Jonah flicked on the light.  A soft glow illuminated the room around him.  It was like a mirage appeared before him just because he'd willed it so. 

Maggie wasn't in her room sleeping soundly.  She was here in his room, his bed, sleeping like an angel.  He stretched across the width of the bed, unable to keep himself from stroking her freckled cheek with his fingers.

Now that she was here with him, he realized just how much he'd been missing her since he'd been gone.  He had the overwhelming urge to curl up next to her, cradling her body against his, and lay awake just memorizing how it felt to hold her.  But in doing so, he knew he'd wake her and the chance to have her in his arms without reservation or care would be gone.

He eased himself on the side of the bed and gazed at her for a long while, watching as her dreams took hold of her. 

What the hell was he doing?  There wasn't going to be a future with him and Maggie, no matter how much he loved her.

Loved her?

Yes, his feelings for Maggie were overwhelming at times, but just because he missed her beyond distraction didn't make him in love with her. 

Dragging himself away from the bed, Jonah turned out the light, unbuttoned his shirt and strode to the bathroom, being careful not to make too much noise and rouse Maggie. 

He'd sleep on the sofa tonight, he decided.  He couldn't bring himself to leave her in here alone.  And quite honestly, he didn't want to.  He'd much prefer to curl up next to her and hold her.  But the sofa would do.

In the morning they'd talk.  He needed to tell her about his meeting with his grandfather.  The baby would be coming long before the year was up.  Maggie had a right to make the decision to stay the full year or leave once he'd fulfilled his part of their arrangement and claimed Maggie's baby as his own.

He quickly brushed his teeth, took care of business and flicked off the bathroom light.  He eased across the thick pile carpet toward the closet and his foot kicked something soft on the floor.  Reaching down he picked up what felt like a garment of some kind, but in the dark he couldn't figure out what it was. 

He discarded it in the hamper and after rummaging in the dark for an extra blanket, he stepped into the room and abruptly stopped. 

The moonlight stretching in from the window painting colorful fingers against the walls of the bedroom.  Jonah's eyes quickly adjusted to the darkened room and zeroed in on Maggie.  She was sitting up in bed now, fully awake and staring at him wide-eyed, much like she had the first day they'd met at the diner. 

# # #

Chapter Twelve

“Jonah?”  Maggie's voice was just a breath above a whisper, sheer music to his ears.

“Yes, Maggie, it's me.”

Her hands flew to her eyes and she rubbed them with the heels of her palms before looking up at him again.  “For a minute I thought I was dreaming.”

Jonah couldn't help but smile, and wondered what kind of dreams she was having to make her look so peaceful and angelic when he'd first come into the room.  Was she dreaming of him?  Of the baby?  Of the life she'd have once she and the baby had left him?

A fire began to brew deep in his gut.  He wanted to think she'd been dreaming about him.  Just as he'd spent all his time doing lately. 

“I'm sorry I woke you,” he said, absorbing the space between the closet and the bed. 

He was by her side in an instant, sitting beside her on the bed.  He wasn't quite sure how he'd gotten from point A to B, but there he was, reaching out to her because he couldn't help himself.  He needed to touch her.  Now that she was awake, it was like an invitation.  One he couldn't refuse.

“No, don't apologize.  I...”  She buried her face in her hands.

On impulse, he saddled up beside her in the middle of the big bed, gently pulling her hands away from her face.

“Maggie?  What is it?”

She shook her head.  “I shouldn't be here.” 

She was trembling.  When Jonah tilted her chin up to look at her, tears streamed down her cheeks, and his heart nearly shattered.  Oh, God, he never should have gone to England and left her alone.

Frantically brushing her hair away from her face, he said, “What's happened?  Why are you crying?”

She sniffed, taking in big gulps of air in an effort to control herself, but she lost the battle and wailed, “I'm fa-a-a-a-ttt!”

“Wha, what are you talking about?”

“I came...in...to...your room tonight.”  Maggie sniffed a few more times and hiccupped some sobs back before going on.  “I didn't have anything...comfortable to wear...anymore and I thought...”

Jonah glanced down at her clothes and for the first time realized that Maggie was wearing one of his white dress shirts.  She was naked beneath his shirt!  Even as pregnant as she was the shirt left room to spare and hung dangerously low off her bare shoulders.  The sleeves were cuffed a few times and bagged on her arms.  

Jonah's insides jumped into overdrive, making his groin grow hard.  He couldn't believe just how impossibly sexy Maggie could be eight months pregnant wearing a plain white cotton shirt.  He longed to run his hand over her thighs like he'd dreamed of doing so many times when he'd lain awake at night in this very room without her.  And now she was here, in his bed and naked beneath his shirt.   Oh, Lord, have mercy!

Trying to ignore his aching arousal, he stated the obvious.  “Of course you're going to get bigger.  You're pregnant.” 

She threw him a cynical look and sniffed, wiping her nose with the back of her hand.  “No kidding.  It's kind of hard for me to forget.”

He couldn't help but laugh, but stopped the instant her sobs erupted again.  He scooped her into his arms. 

She wailed against his bare shoulder.  “I came in here tonight because I...nothing fit me and I thought...I'd be able to fit into one of your shirts.”

“That's okay.  You look...”  Oh, Lord, he was in trouble.  What could he possibly tell her that would help?  Hey, Maggie, you're the sexiest creature I've ever seen and you're driving me insane right now?  My whole body is tight and aching because I want to make love to you?  Right now.  I want to be inside you right this damned minute! 

Somehow he didn't think telling her the truth was going to help.

“Huge!  That's what I look like,” she finally said.  “I'm big and fat and-”

“What on earth are you talking about?”

“Look at me.  I'm as big as a house!” she sobbed, throwing her hands down the front of her to reveal her ample belly.

Jonah pulled her back into a tight embrace, reveling in the feeling of her body so close to his, feeling the swells of her full breasts press against his bare chest, knowing that nothing lay between them now but the thin cotton of his dress shirt.  It was driving him insane.  And right now, he decided sanity was way over rated.

With her head tucked under his chin, he chuckled at the lunacy of it.  She didn't have a clue what she did to him. 

“Maggie, I wish you could see yourself through my eyes.”

“Believe me, I do.  I'm getting so wide I'm filling up the mirror.”

“Don't be like that.”

“How can I not?  How can you possibly look at me and not be completely turned off?”

A wry grin tugged at his mouth.  “Were you hoping I would be turned on?”

Pulling away, she averted her gaze.  Even in the darkness, he could tell she was blushing.  And he wondered just how much of her body was blushing.  Oh, how he wanted to know.

She sniffed back another sob and flipped a lock of hair behind her ear.  But it was no use, with her head bent down it fell back into her face.

Jonah tipped her chin up, then brushed his fingers along her jaw.  “Because if that's the case, then you got your wish.”

“What?”

He laughed nervously, feeling the slipknot that held his emotions for Maggie in place come completely undone.  “You are the most amazing woman I've ever met.  If only you could understand how incredibly sexy you are right at this very minute.”

She lowered her gaze.  From the moonbeams shining on her face he could see in her expression that she was unconvinced.  He felt more than heard her sigh.

“That's really sweet of you.  But I know you're just saying that to make me feel better.”

  Just saying that?  He'd never said it to any woman before or meant anything he'd ever said quite as much.  How could any man look at Maggie in bed, wearing nothing but an oversized dressed shirt and not be totally on fire?  His body was ready to go into a complete nuclear meltdown and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

Cradling her face with both hands, he forced her to meet his gaze.  Her dark blue eyes were starry with tears.  “When I look at you I see the most beautiful woman in the world.”

She eyed him again skeptically, but kept her gaze steady on him.

He opened his mouth to speak and found it dry as cotton drying in the sun. 

“I mean it.  Every night since I've been gone, I've been waiting for the moment I could turn around and come home to you.  I'd close my eyes and all I saw was your smile.  In the dead of night I kept hearing your laughter.  I scarcely slept on the plane because all I kept thinking about was coming home to you.”