Ten Thousand Lies (22 page)

Jaime

GO STRAIGHT TO ELLEN’S. GET COFFEE ON YOUR WAY BACK.

Ricki must have been counting on my curiosity over the note getting the better of me. His gamble had paid off because the moment I was out of sight from the shop window, I’d dug it out of my pocket with the cash.

Cryptic message aside, I was bummed the note wasn’t a cute little something-something. With a sigh, I shoved the note back into my pocket and made my way to Flight of Fancy.

Xanthe was sitting at one of the café tables with her laptop. As I walked in, she looked up and smiled. “Long time no see,” she joked.

“I’m so happy you look as dead as I do,” I replied, making her chuckle.

“Yeah. You should see Deo.”

“I’m guessing you two didn’t get around to a sexual reunion last night?”

“Nope. But there’s always tonight.”

“Ellen in the back?”

“Yep.”

Heading for Ellen’s office, I found her sitting behind her desk, reading a tattered paperback.

“Hi, sweetheart. Shut the door, and have a seat,” she said.

Weirdly, I felt nervous.
Have I done something wrong? Am I getting kicked out of the country?
“I’m starting to freak out a little, Ellen,” I told her as I sat in the only other chair in the office.

“No need to freak. But something has happened with the boys, and since you’re their shop manager, you need to know that you might be in danger.”

“What?” I gasped.

“Now, listen up. This is important. Keep in mind, once you leave this room, you must never mention anything about what I’ve told you. Okay?”

“Yes.”

The guys had a mission, a big one, and Ellen explained to me what their job with the Locals would entail. It really hit me that Rex, Ronen, and Ricki
murdered
people. I had always known this was their job, but it wasn’t like it was something we all casually discussed.

I’d have liked to feel horrified that they took lives, that they were dangerous, but the thought of Ricki blasting a hole in a kidnapping, murderous rapist’s head…was a freaking turn-on. I could just see him with that hard, angry look on his face, gun aimed, sneering, as he pulled the trigger…

It was so, so wrong.

“Jaime?”

“Huh? I’m sorry. What were you saying?”

“What the hell were you thinking about that you couldn’t pay attention?” Ellen demanded.

“I’m sorry. I was just…they
kill
people. I knew that. Just…never really discussed it with anyone. Not since Xanthe and Rex told me all those years ago.”

“Yeah, it can be a shocker if it’s not in your face all the time. They’re just people. We know them and love them, and we see them as such. I guess thinking of Ricki in a brutal light doesn’t sit well with you?”

“I think it’s sexy,” I blurted, mortified that had just busted out of my mouth.

Ellen blinked. “Well then, you know Ricki has the hots for you, right?”

Warmth blossomed in my chest and carried through on my pulse to my extremities. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. If you like him as much as I think you do…go for it. He hasn’t had much love in his life, and I think he could use some.”

“Well, let’s just take that one step at a time. He flirted with me today. Shocked the shit out of me.”

“He’s weird like that. But this is what’s going on now, and it’s why you need to know a few things.”

“Okay.”

Ellen went into the fact that some Russians might be coming into the shop. These guys were dangerous, and they were looking for the people who had taken out their men a few years back.

Ricki and Ronen had run into them at a brothel in De Wallen.

“They went to a brothel?” I asked, slightly winded at the thought of Ricki needing to go to one of those places.

“They were staking out the Russians. Keep your jealousy in check. Ricki doesn’t do that sort of shit.”

Blood rushed up my neck, heating my face. “Sorry,” I muttered.

“Now, where was I?”

Apparently, Ricki was quite convincing as a Russian, and if or when the Russians showed up at the shop, and Ricki spoke with a Russian accent, I was to act like anything the guys did was normal, no matter the situation, and go about doing my job.

But the Russians were fucking scary, and I needed to keep my guard up for anything to happen at anytime. The Locals were having the shop wired and cameras hidden to keep an eye on what was going on.

“Okay. I can handle this. But why didn’t Ricki just tell me?”

“It’s just better this way. He can’t answer questions you might have, and we’re considering the shop to already be infiltrated. To be honest, I think he’s afraid of what you might think of him. He’s one of the best assassins—not just in the organization, but the
world
.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yes.”

“And Xanthe knows all about it, right?”

“Most likely. Rex tells her everything. Don’t be mad at her for not telling you. She couldn’t without authorization.”

I waved that aside. My own involvement—insignificant as it was—with the Locals had taught me not to be upset about such shit. Information I needed would be given to me. It was how the system operated, a way to keep everyone safe.

Besides, it wasn’t like I had such a major role. Ellen was pretty much grooming Xanthe and me to take over what she did when she retired.

“I’m not mad,” I said. “I know the drill.”

Ellen smiled. “I know you do. We’re all a special breed, set apart from the norm. You, me, Xanthe, the boys—for us, having a purpose like this is what drives us, keeps us sane in our normal lives. You, Xanthe, and Rex were so young when you were introduced into this life. In all honesty, I never wanted it for any of you, but it seems as though this is your destiny in some respects. If Elaine hadn’t…” She swallowed hard and took a deep breath. “It doesn’t matter. Done is done, and wishing to change the past won’t take us forward.”

I nodded, my gaze dropping to my hands in my lap. “I’ve felt so guilty. I wish I had done more. For a long time, I felt as though none of it mattered. We all end up the same way in the end—dead. No matter what side we’re on, no matter what we do, whether we’re the warrior or the victim—”

“As long as we fight for humanity, Jaime, our lives are never wasted.”

“I know. I feel it—now. I’m home with all of you. I just think I was miserable where I was and in despair for a while there.”

“It happens to all of us. There were many times I wished I were able to walk away from this. It will happen to you, too. But, as long as there is love in your life, you’ll find the strength to carry on.”

I thought of Ricki calling me his Dollface, and I smiled. “Thanks, Ellen.”

“I’m always here for you, sweetheart. Unless I’m dead. Then, all you’ve got is Xanthe, and God help you when that day comes.”

Laughing, I asked, “Why do you say that?”

“Because she’ll take your misery and immortalize it in one of her stories.”

“Yeah, you got a point there.”

Passing by Helmersen’s coffee shop on the way back to the Inkwell, I got Ricki and myself our morning fuel and a box of sugary-looking pastries. Even with my hangover—which had improved after two of Ellen’s aspirins and a half-gallon of water—I was in a great mood.

“You know Ricki has the hots for you, right?”

Ellen’s words kept playing over and over in my head, making me smile like an idiot. I wasn’t too sure what I should do about it though. What I wanted to do was jump his ass and ride him into the sunset, but I had no clue what would happen after that.

I liked him. Really,
really
liked him.

In the past, if I liked a guy, it meant I found him sexually attractive, and that was it.

This was different. I’d wanted to have sex with Ricki since I’d heard his voice when I was seventeen, and that feeling had only intensified the more I’d gotten to know him. Now that he was becoming more like the man I had thought he was, it was as though my crush switch had flicked back on. He was once more sweet, charming, and cute. And fucking
hot
. Not even my wildest fantasies of the guy had done him any justice.

On top of all that, Ricki fucking
cared
. The guy genuinely gave a shit about me. A man wouldn’t buy awesome bedroom furniture for someone if he didn’t, especially when all I had really needed was a mattress.

Back in the shop, Ricki was with a client, so I brought him his triple espresso with a shit-ton of sugar and a couple of pastries and put them on his side table. He looked up at me and smiled, and it was as though time stood still. For some thundering heartbeats, we stared into each other’s eyes. Elation surged through me, making me feel like I’d smoked one of Ellen’s fat doobies. Smiling in return, I winked at him. His whole face lit up with his bushy smile.

Then, I turned and left, slightly skipping down the hall to the front of the shop.

Ricki

After work, Jaime, Ronen, and I headed out to Wurther’s to meet up with Xanthe and a wrecked-as-fuck-looking Deo. Behind the bar, Rex laughed as the pair of them came in.

“Fuck that. Go take the booth,” said Rex, pointing to the big one in the corner. “I don’t need your destroyed massive arse scaring off the patrons,” he told Deo. “What’d you drink last night?”

“What
didn’t
he drink?” Xanthe laughed.

“Right. I’ll make you something that’ll bloody cure you.”

“I’d appreciate that,” rasped Deo.

I slid into the booth, and Jaime sat right beside me, scooting in far enough to give Ronen room on her other side. As her thigh pressed against mine, she looked over and gave me a shy smile.

“Hey,” I said in a hushed voice.

“Hey,” she replied, her smile growing bigger.

Rex dropped off four pints and something that looked like a Bloody Mary. Deo grasped the large red drink like a lifeline, sucking down half of it in one gulp.

“Fuck yeah,” grunted Deo. “I needed that. Maybe one more.”

Jaime snorted. “No doubt.”

Once the buzz started flowing, we were all laughing and having a good time.

I’d missed Deo. It had been too long since we’d last seen each other, and we regaled Jaime with stories from our younger days—the normal stories, not the ones filled with blood and outrage. Just being so close to Jaime while she was laughing and carefree was the best feeling.

I’d even forgotten about the shite with the Russians.

Beneath the table, Jaime placed her hand on my knee, the heat of her palm burning through the denim, warming my skin.

I froze. Heart pounding, I didn’t know what I should do.

She must have felt my panic because the pressure of her hand grew light, and she started to withdraw it. Panicking even harder, I couldn’t bear to lose contact with her. I grabbed her hand and placed it back on my knee, holding it there. It was so soft and slender. I had to look at it, trapped between my leg and palm.

Turning to face her, I gently told her, “I like it there.”

Her smile was bright, and her China blues blazed. “I like it there, too.”

Nothing else happened though. We all hung out, had a few drinks, and then went our separate ways. We made plans to meet up at Jaime, Rex, and Xanthe’s the next day for movies and takeout. Deo was going to do Jaime’s dreadlocks.