Ten Tiny Breaths (32 page)

I feel happiness. Happiness that Trent is
here.

Longing. Longing to feel him against my skin
again, his arms protecting me, his mouth on mine.

Love. Whatever happened between us, it was
real. I know it was real. And I love him for letting me experience
that.

Hope. Hope that something beautiful may come
from this tragic story.

Fear. Fear that it won’t.

Forgiveness … forgiveness.

“Why are you here?” I blurt out without
thinking, my body trembling.

“Livie asked me to come.”

Livie. Always the surprise. Trent’s voice is
so low and smooth. I could close my eyes and listen to it vibrate
in my ear drums all night long, but I don’t because I’m terrified
he’ll disappear. So I stare at him, at his parted lips, at his blue
on blue irises as they roam my face.

“I guess she’s convinced you don’t stuff
kittens into ATMs anymore.” I finally manage to say.

He chuckles, his eyes twinkling. “No, I
suppose that’s one less worry for her.”

He’s a mere five feet away, three steps from
my arms, and I can’t close the distance. I want to, so badly. But
it’s not my right. That lean strong body, that face, that smile,
that heart—none of it belongs to me anymore, outside of my dreams.
Someone else will enjoy that blessing. Maybe they already are.
“Does Dr. Stayner know you’re here?”

I watch Trent’s chest rise and fall with a
deep inhale. “Yeah, I told him. I don’t hide anything from him
anymore.”

“Oh.” I hug myself tightly. “So how are you
doing?”

He gazes at me for a long moment before he
smiles. “I’m good, Kacey.” There’s a pause. “But not great.”

I feel my brow furrow with concern. “Why?
What’s wrong? Is therapy not working?”

“What’s wrong?” Trent’s brow arches as he
takes two steps forward, closing the distance, his hands firmly
gripping the sides of my waist. I suck in a gasp of air, his
proximity to my body both alarming and intoxicating. “What’s wrong
is that every morning and every night, I lie in bed wondering why
you’re not beside me.”

My legs start to wobble. “You know why,” I
answer in a low, defeated voice. Inside I’m screaming, cursing
reality.

“No, I knew why before. But you set me free,
Kacey, remember?”

I forgive you
. I nod and swallow. His
hand lifts to stroke my cheek with the pad of this thumb.

“And there’s nowhere I’d rather be than with
you.” His thumb grazes my bottom lip.

I can’t seem to catch a breath. My hand
shakes as I push a lock of hair back behind my ear. “What does Dr.
Stayner say about this? Isn’t this wrong?”

“Oh, Kace.” Trent’s lips curve and he flashes
me the deepest set of dimples I’ve ever seen, buckling my knees.
“Nothing’s ever been more right.”

That’s all I need to hear. I barrel into his
arms, my mouth connecting with his.

Seizing him. Feeling him. Loving him.

A light breeze ruffles the folds of Storm’s
dress as she and Dan stand for pictures with the ocean and a fall
sunset as a back drop. She’s the most beautiful bride I’ve ever
seen, all the more so with her swollen belly. The baby is due in
just three months and Mia has taken to referring to it as “Alien
Baby X.” I don’t know where she comes up with this stuff. Dan,
probably. The baby is another girl. Dan jokes that he’s doomed, but
secretly, I think he misses all the female companionship. The beach
house is a little less estrogen-laden these days with Livie in New
Jersey and me dividing my time between there, school, and Trent’s
condo five minutes away.

“Who knew there’d be so many hot women at a
wedding?” Trent sidles up behind me, hanging his arms around my
shoulders. My stomach does a nervous somersault flutter. It always
does that when Trent touches me. Even after three years, he can do
things to me with a look that I thought impossible. I hope that
never fades.

“By so many, you mean one, right?” I murmur
as I tip my head back and nuzzle my nose against his jaw line.

He groans. “You trying to give me an erection
in front of my parents?”

I laugh and roll my gaze over to see Carter
and Bonnie watching us from the distance, and they’re beaming.
During therapy, I realized that me barring them from my and Livie’s
life from the beginning didn’t allow them the chance to heal as a
family. After Trent and I reconnected, I made a point of writing a
heartfelt note to them as way of apology. First Bonnie appeared at
my door in tears, then Carter. One thing led to another and here
they are, hand in hand, a family again.

The wind carries Livie’s soft giggle to us.
She’s with Mia, who’s busy showing her all her new grown up teeth.
Livie earned that full scholarship to Princeton like we all
expected so we don’t see her much anymore. I’m so proud of her. I
know Dad would be too.

But I miss her like crazy.

And I think she’s dating someone, but I’m not
sure. She’s remaining vague about whatever’s going on in Princeton,
and that’s usually a sign of a man. I hope she is. Livie deserves
that and so much more.

I look out over the crowd of friendly faces.
They’re all there. Cain and Nate—as dashing in suits as any man can
be. Tanner, with a lady friend who he met online. Even Ben, arm in
arm with a blonde bombshell lawyer from the firm he just joined. He
catches me watching him and he winks. I can’t help but chuckle.
Oh, Ben.

“You want to go to Vegas next week?” Trent
whispers, biting my ear playfully.

I giggle. “I’ve got midterms, remember?” I
just finished my first year of psychology at State. I plan on
specializing in post-traumatic stress disorder therapy. I already
have a killer reference from the renowned and unorthodox Dr.
Stayner.

“Just a quick trip. To the chapel and
back.”

“Yeah?” I lean back and look into his eyes to
see if he’s joking. I see nothing but love.

His fingers graze my cheek lovingly. “Oh
yeah.”

Trent has kept his promise. He makes me smile
every day.

###

Writing this book has been a whirlwind of
excitement and fear. I've gone beyond my comfort zone, stretched
into a genre I have never written before, and pulled forward some
of my deepest fears to write a story that I adore. I couldn't do
all of that—be here right now—without the help of some truly
amazing people.

First, to my beta readers, Heather Self and
Kathryn Spell Grimes. You two gave me courage. All that talk of
nipples and hot scenes had my stomach in knots and my confidence
wavering, but you two, with your loud screams of encouragement,
made me believe that I could do this exciting New Adult genre
justice.

To my amazing fellow indies, especially
Tiffany King, Amy Jones, Nancy Straight, Sarah Ross, C.A. Kunz,
Ella James, and Adriane Boyd, who jumped at the chance to read TTB
before it was out. It's hard to make time for all these fantastic
indie books releasing and I appreciate that you made the time for
this one.

To all the amazing bloggers out there who
have supported me through my career. I seriously can't name every
single one of you here because I'd forget someone and then I'd want
to crawl into a hole and die (true story… takes me back to my
wedding day when I forgot to thank my photographer.) You know who
you are and I can't say enough about you all. You are AMAZING
people and I appreciate having each of you by my (cyber) side
through my journey.

To Kelly Simmons of Inkslinger PR, thank you
for reading my manuscript—uglies and all— and seeing the potential
hidden beneath.

To my friends and family who support me in my
writing career and deal with my reclusive behavior, thank you.

To my husband, for stealing my only proof
copy and taking it with you to Dallas to read. It speaks
volumes.

The topic of drunk driving and the aftermath
is one that has always scared the crap out of me. Now that I have
children, I can't describe my level of fear. Lives are lost,
futures destroyed, and hearts broken every single day by judgment
calls when people aren't capable of making sound judgment calls. If
this book stops even one person from getting behind the wheel of a
car after a few drinks, then it will have accomplished something
monumental.

Born in small-town Ontario, K.A.Tucker
published her first book at the age of six with the help of her
elementary school librarian and a box of crayons. She is a
voracious reader and the farthest thing from a genre-snob, loving
everything from High Fantasy to Chick Lit. She currently resides in
a quaint small town outside of Toronto with her husband, two
beautiful girls, and an exhausting brood of four-legged
creatures.

For more information on K.A.Tucker's books or
to contact her, visit www.katuckerbooks.com.