Tender Graces (28 page)

“What did you do?”

“I stood up and took Colin’s arm. I wasn’t going to miss my prom. Mother was so angry. She said, ‘No way will you leave this house looking like that, young lady.’ I begged her, but she kept shaking her head.”

We both looked down at the photo again and I saw the torn spot I hadn’t noticed before. I liked how it looked.

“It was one of the few times my father told my mother to shut up. He took our picture and hurried us out the door, while my mother huffed and fumed. She didn’t speak to us for a week.” She put the picture back. “It was a rather nice week.”

The first time we visited Rebekha’s momma was the last time.

Victoria had eyed us up and down and her first words were, “So, these are his children.” She turned to Rebekha just like a bird looks at an insect. “You need to freshen up. You’re a mess. Why you insist on going out in public looking like our maid is beyond me.”

Rebekha lowered her head.

“I think Rebekha is especially beautiful today, Victoria,” Daddy said. “She’s always beautiful.”

Rebekha went up the stairs and disappeared inside, Daddy following her.

Victoria turned her squinchy eyes to Micah, “Make sure you wipe your feet before you come in. The entire bottom of the shoe on both feet, understand?” She looked at my bare toes digging in the grass. “And where, pray tell, are your shoes, young lady?”

I pointed to the car.

“Put them back on immediately. We do not go around barefoot like heathens.” She said immediately like
immeejedly
.

“Leave my sister alone.” Micah gave her the evil eye.

“I don’t abide children talking back to me.”

Micah put his hands on his hips and stared at her.

I ran to the car and slipped on my flip flops.

Victoria watched me put them on, her nose cat-wrinkled. “Those look like pool slippers. Don’t you have proper shoes?”

Instead of answering her, I ran to the back of the house so I could breathe.

The visit lasted two hours. Micah and I were eighty-nine pouts of pitiful by then. When it was finally time to leave, Rebekha hugged her daddy hard. “Bye, Dad. Take care of yourself.”

He kissed her on the cheek, then said, “Come out again soon and see us, little girl.”

Rebekha next hugged Leona, who stood proud and straight in her apron, yellow cotton dress, cap covering her neatened hair, and thick stockings that must have been hot in the heat. Rebekha said, “I’ve missed you so much, Leona.”

“Missed you, too, Hon. And, I like that boy and girl you got there, they’ve cast a bright light in your eyes.” She smiled at Micah and me, then turned to go inside, her big fanny weaving from side to side.

I liked Leona more than the peach cobbler she’d made us. Even with the extra ice cream on top, she was sweeter. I wished she’d come live with us.

Rebekha turned to her momma. “Leona surely outdid herself this time. Don’t you think she deserves a nice vacation? She’s worked so hard all these years.”

“What you think is none of my concern.”

“Yes, Mother, I know. I was just saying. She’s old and looks tired.” Rebekha tried to put on a smile. She put her arms around her stiffened-up momma. “Thank you for having us over.”

It looked to me as if it hurt the mean old thing to be hugged by her own daughter. Victoria opened her sourpuss mouth and said, “Rebekha Jeanne, did I raise you to marry into this mess? With children who look as if they’ve lived in a ditch? Do you even know where their people came from? Look at them. Next you know, the other one will be knocking at your door.”

Earl put his hand on Victoria’s arm, “Victoria, that’s enough.”

Daddy said, “Now just a darn minute here.”

Rebekha stared at her momma with killer beam eyes. “This is my family, Mother. If
my family
offends you so much, we won’t be back.” She turned to her daddy, “I’m sorry, Dad. I’m so sorry. But just like Leona said, Micah and Virginia Kate have brought a light to my life. If Mom can’t accept them, then she doesn’t accept me.”

Victoria turned her back, went up the stairs, and into the house. Rebekha’s daddy looked from her to his wife, and back again. He put his head in his hands.

Rebekha took my hand, then Micah’s. “Let’s go, Frederick.” And we slid into the car and drove away. Rebekha cried while Daddy reached over and rubbed her head. She said, “We’re not going back.”

And we didn’t. Earl came when Bobby was born, but Victoria stayed away.

The last pages of the album were pictures of Rebekha’s college graduation, and then of Daddy and Rebekha looking right into the camera as they stood in front of the Atlantic Ocean.

Rebekha traced the waves. “Our honeymoon was so beautiful. The ocean smelled salty and wild. I had a sunburn so bad, but I didn’t care.” In the picture, Rebekha wore a flowered sundress. Her hair fell soft against her shoulders; she held a hat in her hand. Daddy wore a loose shirt flapping in the wind, his hat dipped low over his eye. They both were grinning wide enough to fit a cat inside. Daddy had his arm tight around Rebekha, and he looked happy, as if all the hurts and secrets had flown away in the wind. I couldn’t remember that look, and wished he had it all the time.

She closed the album. “I need to include all the latest photos of us. Or maybe I need a new album. Yes, a new album for a new family.”

I smiled, then said, “Thanks for showing me.”

“You’re welcome.” She picked up the album. “Well, I think I need a nap. All that sugar.”

On the way back to my room, I thought about how Rebekha’s momma was so mean to her, and how she had only her animals to love, except when her daddy was brave enough to tell Victoria to shut up. And, mostly, I thought about her holding her dead baby brother in her arms, even though I didn’t want to.

Chapter 24

Well, dummy, just open it and see

1969

I woke before daylight on my twelfth birthday, loving how it felt secret that I might be the only one awake. I stretched my arms overhead, pointed my toes, then got out of bed and looked out of my window at the mimosa. The blooms were all gone and its little fan leaves waved in the early morning breeze. I put on a pair of green shorts and a yellow cotton shirt with green trim, and then sat on my bed with my diary.

I wrote,
Today I’m twelve years old. I’m going to the library, to the Seven Eleven to spend some birthday money, and then to see Jade. I dreamed about Grandma Faith last night, she told me Happy Birthday. I can’t wait for my party. Bye for now
. I locked it and put it away. I had just a few pages left of my second diary, a white one with a gold clasp.

I picked up Momma’s brush to take outside with me, opened my bedroom door and listened. All quiet. I eased out the front door, closed it behind me, and sat in the rocker. The sun’s first light gave everything a friendly, happy look. Hugging myself, I imagined the whole earth waking happy because it was my birthday, and the sun coming out to make everything beautiful, just for me. I brushed out my hair, beginning at the top of my scalp and working it to the ends that just hit the top of my shorts. When I had it all brushed out, I braided it, tying off the end with one of Jade’s thick stretchy bands with the balls. My hair was heavy and hot, but I didn’t care. I rocked and let my head fill with cotton clouds.

“What’s up, Veestor?”

“Oh! You scared me half to death!”

Micah stood over me, grinning like the town idiot on
Green Acres
, his hands shoved in his pockets. His clothes looked as if he’d rolled down a wet hill. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you out of your whirly-world.” But he wasn’t sorry a bit. “What’re you doing up so early, Squirrel-Nut?”

“Just thinking. What about you?”

He grinned and wiggled his eyebrows, just like Daddy. When he sat, his knees bent long and his hands dangled between them. “I haven’t been to bed, yet.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just what I said. Me and my friends snuck out last night.”

“What if Daddy finds out?”

“What’ll he do anyway? Like he cares—or notices.” Micah stood up and kicked the steps. Looking down at me then, he smiled, his mood changed just like that, reminding me of the earlier dark changing to light in just that way. “Guess what?”

“What?”

“Chickenbutt!” He reached down, picked up a clod of dirt from Rebekha’s flowerbed, and threw it at my leg.

“That’s not funny.” I wiped off the dirt.

“Since when do you care about getting dirty?”

“It’s just that . . . oh, never mind.” I slumped down.

“Guess what?” He waited, looking all on-purpose-serious. I wasn’t going to fall for that again, so I pressed my lips together tight. He grinned. “I’m serious this time.”

“You and your friends egged something?”

“No.”

“You toilet-papered something?”

“No.”

“You smoked?”

“Geez. No. That’s all kid’s stuff.” He rolled his eyes, looking like Momma instead of Daddy. “I got something for your birthday.”

“You remembered my birthday?”

“Yep. Hold on.” He jumped up the steps like a pup, then disappeared into the house.

I sat almost holding my breath.

He soon came back holding a white paper sack. “Here.” He stretched out his long arm, letting the bag dangle in front of my face.

I took it from him, and it felt heavy. “What is it?”

“Well, dummy, just open it and see.”

I opened the bag, and pulled out something wrapped in the Sunday funnies. I tore into the paper and held his gift in my hands. “Micah! Oh, it’s so beautiful.”

It was a thick triangle-shaped glass bowl with lots of grooves cut into it, like the special crystal glasses Rebekha had in her china cabinet. The heavy amber sparkled in the sun. The lid had a tall diamond-shaped handle, and when I lifted it, I smelled spicy-sweet powder. On top of the powder was a powder puff.

“I figured Momma’s powder was gone by now. Figured you needed your own kind. You know, now that you’re twelve.”

I picked up the puff and put some of the powder on my arms and legs. “This is the most beautiful present I’ve ever got.” I carefully put it on the porch and jumped up to hug Micah’s neck.

He tried to pretend he didn’t like my hug, but I saw through him, “I bought it with my own money I got from selling a drawing to Wayne’s mom.”

“You sold a picture?” I felt proud. “Wow.”

“Yeah.” He scratched his chin, then his arm. “Well, guess I’ll get to bed.”

“Wait.” I didn’t want him to leave. “What do you do when you sneak out?”

“Oh, just stuff.” He glanced back at the door to make sure it was closed.

“What kind of stuff?”

He shrugged. “Sometimes we go out with girls. Sometimes we have a beer.”

“Oh.” I knew I looked like a kid who didn’t know a thing about nothing.

“It’s no big deal.”

“I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

“You’re an old woman.” He pretended to walk with a cane. “You should have some fun; get your nose out of books and out of the sky.” He pulled me into a headlock and gave me scalp-burn. I yelled at him to quit before I socked him one. He just laughed, let me go, and ran inside.

I opened the lid on Micah’s gift again, drifting on more powder. When I put it back into the bag, I saw he’d drawn me riding a horse up a mountain, my hair blowing out behind me. I smoothed out the bag so I could keep it forever, then went inside to put it away. Like I put Micah away, in back of my mind where he walked around, all shadowy and secret.

Rebekha was up making breakfast; I’d smelled it as soon as I hit the door. When I went into the kitchen, she turned and said, “Happy Birthday.”

“Thanks, Rebekha.” I grinned.

“I’m making pancakes.”

I looked into the skillet. “What are those, elephants?”

“Shoot. They’re supposed to be horses.” She poked at the pancakes trying to shape them better.

I was too old for animal pancakes, but it still made me smile.

She flipped the elephant-looking horses when they bubbled. “Maybe I should call Micah in here, he’s the artist.”

“He’s asleep.” I was itching to tell. But, I wouldn’t.

“All these sleepy heads.” She slid the pancakes on two plates. “Here, let’s start on these. By the way, you smell nice.”

“Micah got me some powder.” Then I remembered I wasn’t supposed to have seen him so I flapped shut my trap.

“How nice.”

We sat at the table and ate the pancakes with lots of butter and Steen’s syrup. I said, “These are really great.”

“How am I going to manage Andy’s astronaut’s spaceship pancakes? I’ll have to do the moon, instead.”

When the guys woke up (except Micah), Rebekha made their pancakes. We all jabbered while we ate. Daddy finished first and headed out. Andy-and-Bobby, their names said all together in one breath, since Bobby was always glued to Andy, ran off, punching each other and making lots of racket.

Rebekha and I brought the plates to the kitchen. I picked up a plate to wash, but Rebekha said, “No. Not today.” She reached out and touched my arm.

All a sudden I thought how I’d never let her hug me, and I’d never hugged her, not once in all this time. I thought how she always had to touch my shoulder, my hand, my cheek, or just stand there and smile at me. I’d seen her hug Bobby and Andy lots of times. I’d seen her hug Micah, even though he flared his nostrils, he didn’t move away. I remembered how Victoria looked when Rebekha tried to hug her. It seemed weird that I never let it happen.

She stood in her robe and slippers, strong and tall smiling down at me. “No chores, no babysitting. Go have fun, but be back for dinner. We’re having a party.” She grinned secrets, presents-for-me secrets. “Oh, to be twelve again, but to be it here instead of where I was when I turned twelve.” She looked over my head. “I don’t know why I said that. Goodness, but I’m silly sometimes.”

Then I did it. I reached up and hugged her hard as I could. “Thank you, Rebekha.”

She hugged me back. I felt as if I were under Grandma’s quilt, safe like I never thought I would feel. I couldn’t remember feeling like that with Momma, but I was sure I must have if I thought on it real hard. When I pulled away, Rebekha’s eyes were all shiny. “Virginia Kate, I’m so glad you’re here. You children have changed my life.”