Tender Graces (32 page)

Micah flicked me on the ear with his thumb and finger. “Then let’s do it, Veestor and Andy Bo-Bandy.”

We marched into their room, caught them hugging, and after we rolled our eyes at them, we told them our decision. Daddy said Momma was flying down so she could talk to us about it herself. I stared at Daddy. I didn’t know she’d be there to see how we were giving her away. My brain pinched.

“I’m so happy, y’all.” Rebekha hugged each of us.

“I’ll make the final arrangements then,” Daddy said.

Someone knocked on my door. I said, “Come in.”

Rebekha came in holding a cosmetics case. “Why, aren’t you pretty, Virginia Kate.”

I twirled to show off the loose A-line dress in a dark red with cream trim.

“I thought of you as soon as I saw it at Penney’s.”

“You look pretty, too.”

“Thank you.” Rebekha wore a navy suit and her hair was tucked neatly behind her ears. “I thought I could fix your hair, if you like.”

“Yes, thank you.” I sat on the bed

She opened the kit and took out some things. She then brushed out my hair, rubbed a dab of VO5 in it, and rolled the ends on big rollers. “We’ll let that sit.” From the case, Rebekha took a tube of lipstick. “What about some pink lipstick?”

“I’d like that other color instead, if that’s okay.”

She smiled and handed me the rose-colored lipstick.

I colored in my lips, then looked at myself in the hand mirror she held. There was my momma peeking out and I ignored it until I saw Grandma Faith, then I smiled.

Rebekha handed me a little white box. “These are for you.”

Inside were silver earrings in the shape of flowers. “Oh! Thank you, Rebekha.” I clipped them on and felt the pressure on my ears, a grown-up feeling.

“Silver looks good with your complexion.”

We talked about Miss Darla while waiting for my hair to set. How she knew things and read signs. I didn’t tell her about us knowing each other’s thoughts, though.

Rebekha took out the curlers, brushed my hair into full waves.

I was ready for Momma.

Daddy was on the porch with the boys, his feet tapping over and over to match his fingers tapping over and over. It wore on my nerves. He was growing a beard and it made him look like the mysterious stranger in the movies that all the girls fall for until they figure out he’s No Good.

Andy and Micah were pretend-punching each other. They both wore dark suits; Andy’s already a bit dirty and wrinkled.

Bobby jumped on and off the bottom step, dressed in blue britches with a white shirt. He said about fifty-two times, “Watch me, Andy! Andy! Watch me.”

Rebekha waved over Miss Darla and asked her to take our picture.

“You all look gorgeous.” Miss Darla held the camera to her eye. “Say Whoopee, everyone.”

Most of us said, “Whoopee!”

She gave the camera to Rebekha, walked over and handed me a small velvet bag. “This was mine when I was a young woman. It will look lovely with your earrings, too.”

On a silver chain was a silver horse head with green jewel eyes. It opened like a locket and there was a folded slip of paper inside. “Oh, Miss Darla, thank you. It’s so pretty.” I pulled out the paper, but she put her hand over mine.

She said, “Read that later.” She kept her hand on the necklace for a spell, then took it away. “Jimmy Dodd gave it to me.”

I put back the paper and held the locket out to her. It was heavy in my hand. “I can’t take it, Miss Darla. Not Jimmy Dodd’s present to you.”

“Yes, you can take it and you will. It’s for a young woman, a young woman like you. I have other mementos.”

I put it on, and it felt just right.

“After you read mine, you fold up your own wish and put it in there.” She looked over at Rebekha. “I had signs this morning, you know.”

“Signs?”

She put her hands in the pockets of her britches. “This morning two frogs were in my kitchen and I pricked my finger on a holly leaf. You’ll be okay, just remember that.”

I blinked a couple of times. “Okay, Miss Darla.”

We all piled into Daddy’s Ford and took off. He’d sold the Corvair long before to one of his students. Miss Darla waved and Sophia Loren jumped around her heels. I held myself still so I wouldn’t wrinkle my dress. Micah was stiff, too, pulling at his tie. Andy looked as if he hadn’t a care in the world. I remembered that Easter when we were on the way to church, Micah and I fussing about our clothes, and Andy up front with Momma and Daddy.

I had a loud roaring in my ears and a zillion dragonflies flying in my stomach.

We were at the lawyer’s office fifteen minutes early, so we sat in the waiting room. A pretty woman with blond curls and a sweet face came to tell us it was time. She led us into a conference room with a big table. I saw myself upside down in it. The woman asked us to take a seat, then she squeezed Rebekha’s shoulder before she left the room. I wondered if she felt sorry for Rebekha having to adopt all us kids at one whack. I remembered Momma saying how women didn’t like to raise other women’s kids. But Rebekha looked happy. Maybe Momma was wrong about that, maybe she was wrong about all kinds of things.

While we waited, our hands and arms smudged up the shininess of the table. I pictured Momma crying while she signed the papers to give us away and it made me want to lose all my breakfast. I could still change my mind, couldn’t I? Did I want to?

A tall gray-haired man came in and said to Daddy, “Mrs. Markson is supposed to be here. She must be running late.”

“Mrs. Markson?” Daddy asked.

“Let’s see, says here Mrs. Katie Ivene Holms Carey Markson.”

“Harold’s last name is Wilkins.” Daddy put both hands on the table, pressing hard.

“Just going by what it says here, Mr. Carey.”

I looked around at what the man saw before he left the room. Andy swinging his feet and hitting the legs of the chair. Bobby whining that he wanted to be adopted, too. Micah was stuck on Mars. Daddy’s mouth in a line.

Rebekha stared at a painting on the wall. “Isn’t that Monet’s
Garden at Vetheuil
?”

Micah turned to her with a surprised look. He got up, sat in the chair next to her, and they put their heads together to talk about the painting.

I kept myself in perfect posture, with my hands folded in my lap waiting for Momma and wondering if I’d change my mind. I felt like changing my mind. I changed my mind.
I’m sorry everyone, I changed my mind
.

But Momma didn’t come.

Daddy stood up. “I’ll call the hotel.”

“I told you she didn’t care,” Micah said. “Besides, I bet she could’ve signed stuff in West Virginia. But she’s got to make a show.”

“And I don’t care,” Andy said.

“All this speculation isn’t helping the stress.” Daddy left the room.

While he was gone, we all were quiet, except Bobby. “Mommy, are we adopted yet? We’ll go get ice cream like Daddy said? I can’t wait to be adopted. Can you, ‘Ginia Kay?”

I couldn’t answer him. I had fifteen frogs stuffed in my throat.

“No, we’re not adopted yet, Bobby.” Rebekha didn’t look happy like before.

When Daddy came back, he barely moved his lips when he said,  “Katie is on her way back to West Virginia. She left a message at the hotel desk to tell us she changed her mind.”

“What do you mean she’s changed her mind?” Rebekha stood up fast, scraping her chair against the wood floor. “She said she wanted this. That it was the right thing for the children.” One tear fell down Rebekha’s cheek. Sometimes seeing one lonely tear is worse than seeing a whole flood of them. “I don’t understand.”

Daddy stood by the window, staring out at the Mississippi River. “I called Jonah to see if he’d heard anything. He said she called him to pick her up at the airport. She’s not coming to see the children. She’s not signing the papers. She changed her mind. That shouldn’t be a surprise to any of us, I suppose.”

I had let Momma get in my brain and jinx everything with my stupid thoughts.

The man came back in with sad eyes. “I’m sorry; you seem like such a nice family. But these things do happen.”

I jinxed it, no matter what he said.

Nobody said anything else until we were in the car.

“I’m sure your mother is just confused.” Rebekha helped Bobby into the front seat.

Bobby said, “We’re not getting adopted?”

“Bobby, you’re already my son.”

“I wanna get adopted. We all ‘supposed to be adopted today.” Bobby wailed.

Andy stared ahead with his hands in his lap.

Micah said, “Figures she’d do something selfish like this.”

Daddy drove out of the parking lot.

I let all the dizzy stuff whirl around in my head. I deserved to have a bad headache.

“Probably listened to Ruby, or this Markson.” Daddy’s hands tap tapped on the steering wheel.

Rebekha stared out of her window.

Micah said, “Momma is selfish. She’ll never change.”

“She just didn’t want to give us away. It hurt her to do it,” I said.

“Keep believing that.” Micah rolled his eyes at me, then cracked his knuckles. “She’s too busy running around being stupid to worry about having us brats around.”

“Conversation about your mother is over.” Daddy didn’t listen to his own words, though, since he kept on about her. “I should have known she’d never let Rebekha adopt. I can’t believe I let her dupe me.”

“She doesn’t mind giving me her children to raise though, does she?” Rebekha talked to her window. “She doesn’t mind that, but she won’t let me be their mother legally.”

“Momma is crazy,” Micah said. “She’s a drunk, too, and everybody knows you can’t trust drunks.”

“That’s quite enough, Micah,” Daddy said.

“Talking about Momma gets Dad all fluster-blustered, doesn’t it, Daddy-O?” Micah’s eyes burned into the back of Daddy’s head.

Rebekha sat up real straight and I felt sorry for the way her ears were like little seashells and the way her neck was long and sad.

“Micah, I said shut the hell up,” Daddy said.

Micah stared at the back of Daddy’s head with his chin stuck out as far as it would go. If he could’ve hit Daddy with it just by the force of sticking it out like that, he would’ve. “What’s wrong, Dad? Am I hitting a nerve? Huh?”

Daddy pulled over, stopped the car, and turned around. “Get out of the car, Micah.” Micah shrugged, pretending he wasn’t scared. They got out and Daddy fussed, his hands moved up and down and around while he yammered hard at Micah. I heard, “ . . . attitude has been appalling!”

Micah looked ready to spit chewed up nails and cannon balls at Daddy. He pointed inside the car, jabbing his finger. I heard him say, “. . . don’t deserve her or anyone else . . . ” Micah turned away from Daddy, got back in the car, and crossed his arms over his chest. He was breathing hard and his cheeks were high-colored red.

Daddy’s shoulders dropped to the front and I thought he was going to fall forward on the ground. He rubbed his eyes, straightened up, and slipped back in the car. He said, “Let’s go home. I’m so tired.”

Bobby whined to Daddy. “You said we’d get ice cream. You said we’d get adopted and get ice cream.”

Rebekha started up with shoulder-shaking sobs. I’d never seen her cry like that before.

Bobby put his hands on either side of her face. “Don’t cry, Mommy. I don’t want ice cream. I sorry.”

Daddy said, “I’m sorry, Rebekha.”

She didn’t say a word.

At the house, Daddy parked and went inside. The rest of us stayed in the car, like if we kept ourselves still, some magic would happen to change things.

Micah leaned towards Rebekha. His face pulled down and his eyes were shiny. “Rebekha? I’m sorry.”

She turned to him. “I know, Micah. I understand more than you think.”

Bobby said, “Don’t worry, I’ll adopted everybody.” He turned in his seat and grinned at me. I wished I could’ve hugged his squirmy little body right on the spot.

We climbed out of the car much slower than when we’d piled in. Miss Darla looked out her window, Sophia in her arms. I waved at her and she waved back, then she waved Sophia’s paw. I trudged in and lay on my bed in my new clothes. I touched the necklace Miss Darla gave me and tried not to listen while Rebekha cried behind her bedroom door. I heard ice hitting glass. I sat up, my heart ready to bust right out and run out the room. But I couldn’t get out of bed. I was too tired. I opened Miss Darla’s locket and took out the slip of paper. I unrolled it and read, “Pieces of paper are not love, they’re just pieces of paper.”

I lay back down, fell asleep, and dreamed Momma pulled me away from Rebekha. Rebekha called out to me and I reached out for her while Momma jerked and pulled me farther and farther away. Rebekha’s voice sounded louder the farther I was away from her. I woke up to the real Rebekha standing over me, a plate with two lemon squares in her left hand. She sat next to me and put the plate between us. Without saying a word, we ate our treats.

When the last crumb was gone, she said, “Virginia Kate, I’m truly sorry for what happened today. I wanted it all to work out. But it doesn’t change the way I feel about you, Andy, and Micah. I want you to believe that.”

I put my hand on Miss Darla’s locket. I believed her.