Test Drive (The Bachelor #1) (17 page)

"You can’t help who you love, right?" Jason sputtered.

"Right."

Matt had passed out on the couch, and I was nearly asleep myself when Jason asked me, "How do you know that she is the one?"

That was a good question, and I thought for a moment about the answer. I didn't want to be all cliché with my response. Anyone could see that she was perfect, but I needed to say why she was perfect for me.

"She makes me want to be a better man." Simple, but true.

Jason seemed to buy that answer as well. He woke the sleeping, snoring, drooling giant up and drove him home. On the way out, Matt was muttering something about Jason being a great D.D., but Jason seemed like he was holding something back.

He opened his mouth several times to speak, but then he walked away. Curiosity got to me, and I approached him at the car after he dumped Dopey into the seat. "Hey man, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to say I am happy for you, and I hope she feels the same way." He had said it with sincerity, but the words stung . . . a lot. It hadn't crossed my mind that after the wonderful trip we had that she could feel anything but love for me. But she had not said the words and neither had I. I wanted to make our relationship official, and I hoped she would agree to date me—officially.

Arriving at work twenty minutes early, I immediately went to check in with Beth. She wasn't there. I asked around and no one had seen her.

I was about to panic. I tried texting her, but no response. I waited expectantly in the hallway, but she was nowhere to be found. I tried to sit at my desk, but the suspense and worry ate at me. I barged into my father's office and demanded to know where she was.

"Sit down, son. I was hoping to speak with you this morning to discuss the reports coming in about the convention center expo. I am hearing very good things."

I hadn't come close to sitting down, and frankly, his stalling tactics were just exasperating my panic. "Yes, yes, Father, the numbers are great! Why isn't Beth here today?"

"Andrew, I don't understand what has you all riled up. Beth is merely taking a day off after a long weekend. She called in just this morning." He was sitting forward in his chair now, watching me pace through the room. "What have you done, Andrew?"

I froze. His voice was so accusing that my first response was that he could go to hell.

"Nothing, Father. Beth and I had a great weekend, and you said for yourself the numbers are great." Who was I kidding? I couldn't even convince myself.

His eyes narrowed, and he rubbed his temples. "Please tell me you didn't do anything that might make her feel uncomfortable working here?

"I love her, Father." The words came blurting out like vomit, and I couldn't pull them in fast enough.

My father banged his fist on the desk and began hollering obscenities on my direction. I could see the heads popping over the cubicles through the glass walls.

"Andrew, you never learn. You can't look past your own ego long enough to make a good decision. You go from a gold digger to a wholesome girl in one leap. Of course she wouldn’t be in today. You have ruined the best thing about the company. And since my son doesn't see the importance of my company then I guess I'll have to live forever to keep it going. Now get out of my sight, you are dismissed for the day."

I stormed out of the office and past the leering wide eyes of the staff. I didn't bother signing out or any of my other duties. In fact, to hell with this place, I quit!

I passed my mother in the parking lot. I heard her yell, "Andrew, honey, what’s wrong? Will you talk to me?"

All I could see was red. I hated myself for not stopping as my mother hurried through the garage after me, but I was too hyped up and heartbroken to stop and explain. I fired up the engine and roared out of the parking garage towards
somewhere
.

I drove for hours. I was mad at my father and confused about Beth. I didn't know what to think anymore. It appeared that I would be a terminal bachelor as well. I pulled into a gas station to fill up the tank. The sun was beginning to set and all the passing signs suggested I was heading to the beach.

By the time I reached the ocean, it was nightfall. The beach was empty minus some stragglers. I walked the shoreline for miles watching the waves rise and crash. I took another look at my phone . . . no messages. I relaxed on top of a sand dune. Even with the hot sun bearing down on the white grains of sand all day, when nighttime hit the sand was so cold it made your toes numb. I had removed my sandals, and I let the coldness seep into my feet.

I dug up a few broken seashells and tossed them back into the ocean. Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe Beth just needed a day to relax and collect her thoughts, but why hadn't she texted me? This was a classic sign that I was being avoided like the plague. I wanted to blame my father. The way he spoke to me made me feel like less than dirt. I regretted that I hadn't conquered my fears and followed in his footsteps, but why should I have to do that to earn his love and respect.

Now here I was sitting in the sand, watching the rise and fall of the waves—a man with a broken heart.

I DIDN'T BOTHER CALLING
out of work the next day. Let him dock my pay if he wanted. My phone had continuously rung all day, but it was my mother.

No calls or texts from Beth.

I rented a hotel for the next few evenings. I wasn't ready to leave the serene ocean to head back to the drama. My phone went off again at around lunchtime the next day. I answered more out of habit than anything. "Hello!"

"Oh Drew! Thank goodness you answered. Where are you?" my mother asked.

"I am a few hours away, what's wrong?""

"Your father feels horrible about what he said. He knows that you have been trying lately, and what he said was out of line."

"So why are you telling me instead of him?"

"Drew, your father loves you and he wants what's best for you, but the two of you are stubborn. Just come home and give him a chance."

Even if I wanted to give
him
a chance, I had no idea what to think about Beth. She basically disappeared on me. "Mom, it's not that easy."

"He told me about you and Beth. I don't know what happened exactly, but he said you love her. What happened down there?"

"Nah, I don't want to talk about it. It doesn’t matter anymore. I will be home in a few days, but I doubt I will be returning to that company. Goodbye, Mother." I hung up before she could protest and before I could say something I would regret to the one person I could count on.

I spent the day walking from pier to pier looking at all the shops along the way. The beaches were crowded in the daytime with kids weaving and dodging in and out of the water. I saw a couple chasing each other into the water before stopping to kiss behind the waves.

This sucks!
I walked back to the hotel and grabbed my things to head home. The long drive home was agonizing. I made several stops along the way because the overwhelming feeling of loss was settling in, leaving me restless and panicked. She was mine for such a short time, and I hated letting her go. I sent one more pleading text for her to contact me, but no response. I snuck in the house after dark. I had even put my car in neutral so it wouldn't be so loud when I pulled in.

The next morning I slept in. I vaguely remembered someone knocking on my door, but I was in no mood to talk. I got up around lunchtime and realized I didn't have anything else to do today since work was all I had been focusing on for weeks.

Dressed and ready to go with the darkest shades I could find, I walked through the doors at work and into my office. People were staring in awe at my arrival. I felt a sense of anonymity with the glasses on to hide the dark circles forming under my eyes. I knew they must be instant messaging each other because their fingers quickly set into motion.

I wanted to head straight to Beth's office, but I was hoping to fly under the radar until I had some kind of plan. There was a stack of files on my desk with a note to review them and make appointments. The same elementary task from before I did all this work to prove myself. No, this wouldn't work. I wanted to leave; I needed to leave this company and work somewhere I would be appreciated.

I threw myself back into my chair, just in time to see Beth rush by with her head down. She was avoiding me that much was true, but why? I was too exhausted to chase after her. She wasn’t interested in talking, and frankly neither was I. In fact, I was coping the only way I knew how. I opened my email and pulled up Georgia’s profile. Matt had told me that he and Victoria were talking, and I didn’t want to get in the middle of all that so Georgia was the only one I hadn’t been able to follow up with.

It was depressing that out of all of these girls I had no luck finding the one for me. I wasn’t willing to settle long term, but the mood I was in threatened to make me desperate. I could tell that Georgia was online so I opted for an instant message.

"Hey Georgia, sorry I didn’t get back to you sooner. I have been out of town on business for the last week. I would love to get together sometime when you are free."

"Sure thing, stud! I have a few things to tend to today, but I am free tomorrow afternoon, say about three thirty."

"Three thirty is perfect." I didn’t give a damn about missing work or my father’s threat to dock my pay. The only thing on my mind was to find someone who could numb the pain. I could still taste her lip-gloss, ya know. I could still feel the way that her hands grasped onto my shoulders, and I could still see her face when she was sleeping. What I couldn’t do, however, was picture myself with any other woman. I hoped that feeling would subside with time. Maybe it was just the rejection wounding my pride or maybe she was the one that I was meant to be with. Either way I was doomed to be miserable without her.

That evening I heard my mother knocking on my bedroom door. I stayed silent avoiding the inevitable conversation for just a few days longer. She knew I was there, and she knocked several times before saying, "I am here if you need me." It wasn’t my intention to punish her, but I couldn’t get over the horrible things my father had said to me. I was already beginning to look for a new job. Obviously my father didn’t need me since he was going to live forever. Jason owned an internet software company, and he had always talked about me coming on board as the marketing head to sell the products and make bids for contracts.

I emailed him saying we should get together soon to talk about the job offer, if it was still available. I could live without Beth. I just didn’t want to.

I had already decided the night before I wouldn’t be at work that day. So I spent most of my morning with Jason and his co-owner, Seth, talking about specifics of the job. The pay wasn’t great since it was a startup company, but I wasn’t really worried about the money. I gave them some marketing strategies and laid out my plan for the products. They seemed very impressed and said they would talk it over. I was happy to be making some progress in one area of my life. My father could no longer throw it in my face that he was supporting me. I had even considered moving out of their home to put some distance between us.

I left the house at two thirty and made the long drive out of the city to the address Georgia had provided. There was nothing but hayfields and gravel roads for miles leading up to her family’s ranch. I hadn’t seen country like this since my parents took me to North Dakota. The rolling hills of the wavy grains were already relaxing the anxiety I had towards meeting another girl that might break my heart.

When I pulled in the driveway, a whole flock of chickens flew up into the air. Scared the hell out of me. "What were things doing out of cages?" I wondered. From the corner of my eye, I could see someone trotting towards me. Georgia bounded off the porch and crossed the yard to me. She was wearing a tight pair of denim jeans with holes around the knees, a pair of cowboy boots, and a red plaid sleeveless shirt that was tied above her belly button.
Hello, sexy!
I thought.

"Hi, I’m Drew. It’s nice to meet you." I held out my hand, but she flew into my arms for a hello hug.

"Hey there, handsome! I’m glad you were able to find us out here." She turned her attention to my car and started screaming, "Whoa, look at this ride! A Nova, right? Can I sit in it?"

"Yes, ma’am!" It was cool that she liked the car; some girls, including Camille, preferred something a little less "noisy" and a little more "classy."

She sat down in the driver’s seat and gushed about the original leather seats and radio. She shut the door and said, "How do I look?" She turned her head to the side and posed.

"Very hot," I said. "Do you want to drive it?"

"Do I ever! Get in, cowboy!" I got in, but when she started the motor and revved the engine I got a little nervous about where she might be headed.

"Do you mind if I get her dirty?"

"Not at all." I had no idea what was in store, but a little dirt wouldn’t hurt anyone. She took off through the front yard and into the field behind it. She pressed her foot on the gas and the car bounced and spun through the never-ending field. She slung the car to the right, and we slid sideways a few feet before she gunned the gas and we shot off in the other direction. My heart was pounding, but I had to admit this was fun; like four wheeling with a cage around you. She made a few more loops around the field before parking it back in its original spot in the front yard.