Texas Ranger Dad (16 page)

 

Zane Cantrell was not playing fair.

Rose fumed silently as she drove home later that evening. He was letting her weakness for seeing Max happy to his advantage.

Beside her Max was quiet as he stared out the window into the darkness. He was probably sitting there basking in the wonderful evening they'd just had. Oh, and it had been wonderful.

The perfect cozy family night of burgers on the grill. Great conversation sitting at the outdoor table followed by a little stargazing as a family unit. Oh, the man was devious.

And charming and completely relentless in the fact that he was the perfect gentleman. He never made advances, never tried to kiss her…not since that day at her house had he tried to kiss her. He hadn't even made remarks that insinuated that he wanted to. But just the same, she had his number.

Zane had figured out her weakness and he was hitting her with everything he had.

“Mom,” Max said, turning in his seat to look straight at her. “I can't kid you. I want that.”

Ha! He didn't have to elaborate; she knew exactly what “that” was. You want it, too. She clamped a lid on that thought.

“But I want you to know that I'm okay with the way things are.”

He nodded to reassure her as her startled gaze riveted to him. It didn't as she planted her wary gaze back on the road.

“Zane talked to me and helped me see that I need to back off with the matchmaking thing.”

She inhaled sharply. “Do you mean that?”

“Yes, ma'am. Just, can we not get all territorial about it? I mean. Like tonight. Sometimes it's just nice to have dinner with both of you or maybe lunch sometimes. I mean I won't push for y'all to be a couple if y'all can just give me that sometimes.”

Rose turned the car into their driveway. Was this a ploy? This idea worried her far more than his blatant attempt at matchmaking. “Are you being up front about this? Or is this another plan?”

“No plan. I promise. I just really enjoyed being like a family tonight. And the other night when Zane came over and we all looked at pictures and stuff. I like it. You have to believe me. I'm not going to lie and say
I don't wish something more would come of it, but that's between the two of you.” Max looked vulnerable even though he was trying not to.

“Sure. Fair enough then,” Rose said. Forcing her lips to lift, she pressed for sincere.

“Thanks, Mom. I get it now, I think. It's like the posse told me in the beginning when I begged them to help me. If the love's not there then I don't want y'all together in the first place. It would only make y'all miserable in the end and, Mom…” He hit sincere with one look, no force employed. “All I ever wanted was for you to be happy. You believe that, don't you?”

This time she smiled and her depth of sincerity matched his. “Yes, honey. I believe that with all my heart.”

He reached across the car and hugged her, then hopped out and jogged inside.

Rose took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds before expelling it slowly, thoughtfully.

If the love's not there then I don't want y'all together in the first place. It would only make y'all miserable in the end.

But what if the love was there? What if the love was there but her fear was holding her back?

Rose leaned her head back and prayed for some guidance. This turmoil was horrible. The day Zane had reappeared in her life she'd been more at peace than she'd ever been in her life. She'd been on the brink of something new and life changing. She'd known what she wanted and where she wanted to go. And then Zane had shown up and shattered all that peace by reminding her of the dream she'd forced herself to forget…the dream, the heart's desire that had hurt too much to continue dreaming about.

There were all kinds of excuses she'd used over the past few weeks about why she couldn't let herself…admit, or give in to that love.

She walked toward the house and turned everything upside down in her head, in her heart…What did she want?

What did
she,
the independent woman that she needed to be, really want?

It simply wasn't something she was going to answer quickly and that might possibly be where all of her turmoil was coming from.

Z
ane liked Clint Matlock. The successful cattleman was married to Lacy. The couple was very involved in the community and pitched in and helped out wherever they were needed. His new property bordered Clint's; he'd found out last week when Clint was helping park cars at the play. He'd invited Zane to a roping at his ranch afterward, but Zane hadn't gone that night. Tonight when he'd called and invited him over Zane had come without hesitation. His house was too empty after Rose and Max left.

Getting to know Clint better and some of the other men who'd come was something he needed to do. His life was different now…he needed to learn that there was more than work.

He'd always lived a life where his duty ruled, where his focus was about making sure other people lived to
live
their lives. And he hadn't had much of one. At the end of the day he'd always gone home to an empty house.
When
he'd gone home. He'd lived much of the time on the road.

“Hey, you look like you're a hundred miles away,”
Clint said, reining his horse in beside where Zane was standing.

Zane shrugged. “Actually, I was only about ten miles away.”

Clint folded his hands over the saddle horn and gave him a knowing look. “Lacy is pretty excited about you and Rose.”

“I wish Rose was excited about it.”

“So, there's a problem?”

“A big one.” Zane propped a boot on the bottom fence rung and rested an elbow on the upper rung. He took a moment to study the night sky where the blinking red light of an airplane moved, seemingly from one star to the next. “I'm in over my head, I think.”

“I'm sure it's been hard finding out all these years you had a son.”

Most of the other men were leading their horses to their trailers and calling it a night and for a minute Zane was tempted to head out, too. “Yeah, but now that I know, all I can think of is making up for lost time.”

“I can imagine. But Rose isn't seeing it the same way?”

“Nope. She doesn't trust me. I think she wants to. But, you know, her life has been tough. I've failed her in every sense of the word.” He wasn't one to open up to people, but he needed a sounding board and Clint seemed as solid as they came.

Clint's saddle creaked as he shifted his weight and studied him hard. “Then don't fail her again. Simple as that.”

“Right,” he said, regretting that he'd said anything.

Clint laughed and hauled himself out of the saddle. “Man, don't look so stewed over. Yeah, I know that
sounds like one of those stupid patronizations. I hate those things. If you notice I didn't tell you to go pray about it.”

Zane chuckled. “Yeah, well, that's a relief.” It was a given that he'd been praying plenty, so someone telling him to pray wouldn't have been a welcomed comment.

Clint dropped his reins and his big bay dropped his head and plucked around for grass. “All I'm saying is, you can only start fresh. You can't keep looking back and beating yourself up over the past. You need to go after what you want. Maybe state your case point-blank so there's no misunderstanding of what you want. And then sit back and be patient.”

Zane thought about that for a minute. It was good.

“Buying that piece of property couldn't have hurt any, either.”

“How so?” Zane asked, catching the gleam in Clint's eyes.

“Oh, the family who owned it have been after me to buy it ever since they moved away. But I didn't need that big house sitting square in the center of all that land…but mostly I didn't need that swath of prickly pear that stretches across who knows how many acres.” He cocked a knowing brow.

Zane grinned. “What can I say? I need everything I can get to win brownie points.”

Clint clapped him on the back. “I'm not sure I've ever heard of a man using prickly pear cactus for brownie points but in your case it just might work.”

Zane wasn't so sure about that. But as he drove home he thought about everything Clint had said. Especially the part about stating his case point-blank so there was no misunderstandings and then being patient. The house had been a subtle hint to her.

She'd said she liked the place. She liked the giant oaks that dotted the land and she'd said the sprawling ranch house had character. That had been enough for him to buy the place.

He was going to load the deck in his favor any way he could. He wanted Rose and Max in his life. She had a wall built around her heart…he wasn't sure if it was there against any cowboy who showed up vying for it or if it was just him. But one thing he did know—God willing, he was going to do everything in his power to be the one who tore them down.

And in the process he was going to have to tear down a few of his own. Nothing about it was going to be easy. He pulled up in front of his house and got out. Yeah, it had been a subtle declaration of what he wanted.

But maybe the time for subtlety was over. Maybe it was time to make his intentions perfectly clear.

 

Rose was standing inside the window display of Ashby's Treasures changing out the dresses. The shop had been busy all morning—a regular revolving door as everyone came to find out how she'd enjoyed herself out at Zane's. Word traveled entirely too quickly in a small town. Even App and Stanley had ambled over to find out how it went—she'd had a hamburger at Zane's house and suddenly everyone practically had them married off!

She'd given up trying to tone down everyone's excitement for now, but she was going to have to figure something out. No matter what Max had said last night she knew he secretly still had hopes that she and Zane would end up together. She'd seen it in his eyes and heard it in his voice. She knew her son well.

Zane was fighting dirty.

She pulled another pin from between her lips and was jamming it into the sill when a flash of color caught her eye. Looking up, she saw Zane coming down the street—holding a bouquet of brightly colored flowers!

She watched, transfixed as he started across the street and headed straight for her. “No! No! No!”

Pretty sure steam was boiling out of her ears, she dropped the netting and the pins and hurried out of the window. She was going to kill him!

She met him on the sidewalk. “What are you doing?”

He tipped his hat; his beautiful eyes twinkled. “Don't look so alarmed. Can't a cowboy bring a woman flowers?”

“No! He most certainly cannot and you very well know it.” This wasn't good. Not at all. He looked too wonderful. Too tempting.

He faked shock as he pulled the summer bouquet close to his chest. “Why?” he asked.

“You just can't. Max started getting false hope again last night. I saw it. And now this. Parading down Main Street with those.” She stared at the flowers. They were absolutely beautiful. Bright and lovely. Happy flowers. “Max will surely hear about this—” Pete was loading feed across the street and had stopped to stare. And no doubt App and Stanley were getting an eyeful from their window at the diner.

“So?”

“So! This is unacceptable. Not only he, but everyone is going to think we're…that there is something going on between us. They already think it—”

“And why exactly would that be a bad thing? Tell me, Rose.”

She faltered. “Because.” She hesitated. “Because there isn't. I thought we understood each other. I can't.”

Zane reached for her arm and lifted her hand then laid the flowers across her limp palm. “Take them. Toss them in the trash after I leave if you want. But here's the deal, Rose.” He gently folded her fingers around the stems, holding her gaze captive with his own.

“I've been going back and forth in my head about the best thing for a guy in love to do. And here's the thing. Fourteen years ago, we had something. Something real, something worthwhile between us. And I messed up. Today, I can't pretend anymore that I don't care. And I can't lie to my son and tell him I just want to be friends with his mom. I'm giving you notice that I'm about to go after something I want. Something I've wanted all these years.”

“No, don't do this.”

“Too late. I'm doing it.” He stepped close, dipped his chin and hit her with unnervingly serious eyes. “I want you, Rose Vincent. I want you in my life. I want you as my wife. I love you like no man has ever loved a woman and I want you to give us a fighting chance.”

Her heart was pounding. She knew he could feel her pulse beneath his fingertips. Very slowly he rubbed his thumb across the beat and gave her a tender smile. Her fingers automatically curled around the flowers so she wouldn't drop them. As much as she was disturbed she was also intrigued…and breathless. Thrilled. He loved her.

“I'm not going to push. But we've wasted enough time and I don't want to waste another minute. I'm stating my facts just so you know.”

Zane's tender words, so sure, so determined, wrapped around her bruised heart and a dangerous hope sprung inside of her.

She couldn't speak as he brushed his lips across hers, tipped his hat and left.

She touched her fingertips to her lips and took a shallow breath—it did nothing to settle her emotions. Staring down at the flowers, all she could wonder was what was she going to do now?

 

No sooner had Zane disappeared inside Sam's than Lacy and Sheri came busting through her door from the hair salon. Sheri was brandishing a red-tipped nail polish brush.

“So spill,” Lacy said.

“Now,” Sheri demanded.

“He brought me flowers.”

“And,”
Lacy said, dragging the word out with a grin.

“And what?” she asked. “I don't want flowers from him.”

Sheri laughed. “Yeah, right.”

“I don't. Do you know what this will do to Max if he finds out…I can't believe Zane just marched down Main Street like he was God's gift to women!”

Lacy and Sheri looked at each other like they knew a secret that she didn't know. “Stop looking like that,” Rose demanded. “I'll never hear the end of this when Norma Sue and the others find out.”

“Yep, you do have a point,” Lacy said, totally faking her concern. Rose could tell they were both thrilled. “So what does the card say?”

The card. Reading it hadn't crossed her mind. Now she stared at it.

“You look like you're afraid of it,” Lacy said, concern replaced her teasing.

“I am a little.”

“Love is a scary thing,” Sheri said. “But wonderful. Open it.” She pointed the nail brush at the card.

“I'm not—”

Sheri held up a hand. “Save it for someone else.”

“C'mon,” Lacy said, nudging her in the arm. “This is exciting. If you don't open it, I will.”

Rose handed the flowers to Lacy before pulling the small white card from the envelope.

I'll be waiting…Zane
. She recognized his handwriting immediately. He'd written the card after the flowers were delivered instead of letting the florist write it for him at the shop.

“Ah, that's sweet,” Lacy said.

Sheri leaned in to read his words again. “Clearly, the ball is officially in your court.”

“This is good—”

“No, Lacy, it isn't,” Rose whispered and took a shuddering breath. “I want him to have a life with Max…but I think it's too late for us to go back.”

“Why?” Lacy handed her back the flowers. The orange and pink daisies stared up at her.

“Because I don't trust the feelings I have with him or with anyone, really. My life was just starting to make sense before he showed up. I was finally feeling in control. And I'm not willing to risk messing it up because I make a bad choice. Does that make sense?” She wasn't sure anymore.

“Oh, Rose,” Lacy said, hugging her. “Don't look so sad. Knowing what you've been through, it makes perfect sense.”

“But who knows what will be,” Sheri said. She was
smiling. “It won't hurt for Zane to prove to you that he's not a bad choice. He's willing to wait.”

“That's right,” Lacy agreed. “Maybe if he works at it hard enough he'll change your mind.” She raised an eyebrow.

Rose didn't want him to try to change her mind. She was afraid of him trying; despite all of her talk, she didn't feel very strong where he was concerned. All night at dinner, she kept imagining them as a family. That it was wonderful…It wasn't that she didn't like the feelings he evoked, she just didn't trust them. Too much had happened to her to trust that she wouldn't get hurt again. She didn't want to give away control of her state of mind—of her heart.

Did she?

She had to stay strong. Easier said than done. Every time she saw him, her emotions and feelings tangled irrationally. And that was it right there—how could she trust feelings like that?